


As Long As It Takes

by 11ThisIsMe04



Series: When You Said, "As Long As It Takes." [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), clexa - Fandom
Genre: Action, Best Friends, Business, Clexa, College, Drama, F/F, F/M, Feels, Flashbacks, Gen, Glances, Humor, Love, Love Triangle, Romance, Secrets, The 100 (TV) - Freeform, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-19
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 89,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11ThisIsMe04/pseuds/11ThisIsMe04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa is a quiet college student who just wanna study and leave but then Clarke Griffin entered their class as a new student (more so into Lexa's life) and everything went weird and spiraling out of control. An interesting college life, best friends, crushes, stealing glances, scary unnerving events and of course good old pash. </p><p>Alternatively: Clarke Griffin is a new student who was then introduced to Lexa and everything went down from there. Interesting and yet, thrilling turn of events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Present time**

Your eyes holds an unspoken promise. Your minimal actions speaks the loudest. Were you thinking about it? Did you felt it? Maybe Lexa was just imagining things, oh dear Lord she hoped she was wrong. _By chance, were you...I dont even wanna say it._ Lexa hoped she was right. It had been years since she realised that she was... different from others. Lexa always felt guarded. Rather be secluded and be on her own. Shes used to that. She was never really close with her family either... or rather just her dad. She definitely could see herself living on her own.

But not until she met Clarke. Her walls started to crumble. She felt scared beyond relief. She had never met anyone so aggressive and yet, so beautiful.

**4 years ago.**

Lexa could not imagine being in this course nor being with this rowdy people at the back of the classroom. Lexa shot them a glare to quiet them down but was in vain. The brunette sighed heavily sinking back into her chair. _Why did they have to sit here? *sigh* they weren't here yesterday. Tsk._ Lexa peeked at the front row and tried to see if theres anyone she could recognised from previous lectures. Lexa recognised one girl, she was kind enough to share her textbook when she clumsily forgot to bring hers. She's such a klutz sometimes. _Maybe I could move to the seat beside her. She seems friendly enough._ Once the lecturer returned back to his seat, Lexa gathered all her stuff and walked briskly between the aisle.

"Hi... Octavia. Is the... seat taken?" _Relax Lex. You're just asking._

"No! Come sit with us." Octavia beamed at her and patted the empty seat beside her. The brunette introduced Lexa to Anya a tall fair girl with a very distinct cheekbone. They chatted while Lexa watched, nodding and laughing when deemed appropriate. Lexa was never been a girl of many words. The brunette do snt have the social prowness that the other 2 girls were showing. Being introvert is her nature, she knows it and doesnt mind at all. Some people even finds her intimidating at times due to some reasons, like... she doesn't smile? Lexa doesn't get that reason, she'll smile when she have to. She don't randomly smile on her own and make people think she's mental or something. But seeing Octavia and Anya, they're easy to be around with. They don't ask questions. They simply accepted her just the way she is with them. The three girls sat together for the rest of the week. And she could possibly thought that this wouldn't be bad at all.

 ***** ** _flashback*_** **_A month ago._**

"What are you gonna do after this course Lexa? I will not spend thousands of dollars just to see you do this drama shenanigans! What career can you get from this? Huh?" Gustus bellowed. Of course, her father does not understand. He never did. To him art is just a waste of time and money. Every school play or events her father were always MIA. The brunette was used to it. She already buried her hope that one day her dad would show up... But he never did. Going to an art school is...WAS her passion. She felt so free being up on stage, spotlights on her and feeling herself transforming into someone else without anyone judging her. It was the only place that she knows where she belong. How Lexa wished that her mother was still alive, she knows that she will be proud of her, whatever makes her happy. The brunette inhaled sharply and stoicly faced her father.

"I have everything planned out for you..." The brunette wrung her fingers. "You will go to TonDC University and study Business Management..." _Of course, anything for the business._ Still the girl was unshaken. Lexa could already predicted that this wil happen. She clenched her jaw. "I have everything submitted out and you will move in, in a month when the new semester comes." Gustus informed without any hesitation.

"But dad..." The brunette started.

"End of discussion!"

Gustus stormed out of her room leaving the girl to cry herself to sleep. _At least you tried, Lex._

\-------------

"Hey Lex! Are you ok?" Asked Octavia gazing up to her.

"Yeah, Im ok," the brunette answered instantly with a faint smile.

Octavia nodded and returned to Anya talking about some new girl joining the class. Lexa couldn't really care less because all she could ponder on was what can this decision could potentially do for her. She doesn't know what the future holds. What is she going to do 4 years later once they graduate? Lexa sighed and rubbed her forehead, a habit that she can't get rid off when she's over thinking things. She spun her pen between her fingers, reading the new chapter while waiting for the lecture to start.

Everybody were settled on their seats and quieted down to prepare their materials. When all of a sudden the front door burst open and came stumbling in, a blonde girl with a backpack slung on her shoulders. _She must be the new student._ Lexa smirked and turned to Octavia.

"Hey, she must be the new girl. I've never seen her here before."

"Yeah, must be."

Octavia and Anya scrutinised her, watching the girl talking to the lecturer and then looked around to look for seats. Lexa shook her head and smiled at the two girls, the brunette continued to read the "different types of leadership styles." Her kind of thing. She was fascinated how different people have different ways handling their subordinates. "Democratic is the...," The brunette mumbled the words when She noticed the blonde took the seat across the aisle from her. She looked at her from the corner of her eyes and studied the girl. Fair white complexion, wavy blonde hair pulled half-down style, round face, thin pouty lips, her eyes... _Totally, girly. Not my type of people._ Lexa smirked again and returned her attention back to the front. The lesson had already begun without the brunette noticing. She looked at the other girl with a furrowed brows. _How long was I staring at her?_ She rubbed her forehead and started focusing on the monotonous voice of the man standing in front of her.

Normally, Lexa could focus without a problem but the head turning of the golden head on her right kept bugging her. She turned to her right exasperately. The latter seemed lost. Lexa opened her mouth,"-..."

"Do you have your textbook?" A girl behind Lexa named Raven asked. The blondie shook her head and smile sadly.

"Come. Share with me," the blonde took her stuff and sat right behind Lexa. The brunette could not help but feel goosebumps all of a sudden. She shrugged it off and focused her attention.

\--------------------

Thank God, its their break she could finally rest her head with all the new information that she clearly have no interest on. She tapped on her phone to check for messages and facebook, you know the usual stuff. Just to show that she does not want to be bothered. But of course knowing Anya and Octavia they can be a bit persuasive.

"You're into art! Hey! Lexa here is into art too. I mean drama of course, but its the same thing right? She's really good at it too." Of course, Octavia has to over stretch everything. With just a tad bit exaggeration for Lexa's taste. So Lexa closed her eyes and exhaled trying to get rid of the annoyance that her friends are becoming. She have no choice but to look at blondie and being expected to speak too. Almost instantly, lexa regretted it.

"Really? OMG! What are you into?" the blondie stared at her with piercing blue eyes accompanied with a smile that took Lexa's breath away. But those eyes, she almost felt like she could drown on them. A familiar feeling started to erupt from her but just like before she tried to suppress it before it could do any damage. She tried to show a friendly face and nodded.

"Yeah, normally I do stage plays during events or school plays. You know the drill." With a little enthusiasm to show her interest, when she got an approving smile from the blondie she immediately went back to her phone. She tried to shrug it off. She really did. Those eyes. Those blue eyes as if it can pierce right through your soul. It scares Lexa, more than she thought it could. She doesn't know why but she knows she have to keep her guards up. She cannot be doing this. Not after Echo... NO. Not again.

\------------------

An hour had passed, that she finally forgot about the weird feeling she got. She sunk down to her chair and tried to stay awake as much as possible. But how could you when your lecturer is a one hell of a drone. There's no sense of excitement nor enthusiasm, is this how business suppose to be? Lexa sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose. She folded her arms and tried to get back to the lesson. All of a sudden, a persistent tap on shoulder made her turn and there she was again, the blondie, smiling at her too enthusiastically. Lexa looked at her with perplexity, waiting for her to speak up.

"Sorry! I didnt catch your name just now. Whats your name again?" the blondie smiled again. _You've got to really stop doing that._

"Alexandria Heda. Lexa...Just call me Lexa," once she got an approving nod from the blondie, she turned around and tried to focus again. Not even 5 minutes later, another persistent tap on the shoulder came. _What do you want now?_ Lexa turned around with her eyebrows up expecting the girl with another question.

"My name's Clarke Griffin. You didn't asked for my name, so I thought I'll just put it out there,"

"Ok." Lexa nodded once more and return her attention back. Lexa tried to feel the anticipation once more just in case the blondie...Clarke. Tapped her again. But 5 minutes came, 10...30 minutes she never felt that tap again. Not that she's checking the time or anything. Weirdly enough, Lexa felt disappointed, yet not knowing why. The sudden touch sent her body to tensed up. _Does she knows I'm thinking about her? Don't be paranoid Lexa, she must have needed something._ Lexa turned around again wincing this time. Preparing herself not to get too carried away by the blondie's blue piercing eyes nor her smile. Lexa looked at her expectedly trying to look pleasant but deep inside she started to feel annoyed.

Clarke handed her a piece of paper and Lexa gave her a confused look.

"Can I have your number?" _Woah! You're moving too fast girl. Is this girl serious? I hardly even know you._

"Uumm..." Looking at the piece of blank paper and back to the girl. She looked so happy. Lexa sighed and reluctantly wrote down her number. She handed back the piece of paper and saw the grin that crawled up the blondie's face. Lexa hitched a breath, nodded and immediately turned away. _Why do you keep doing this to me?_

The day finally ended, Lexa bid goodbyes to Anya and Octavia and sprinted out of the class without looking back at the blondie. She have to get out of that place because she cant. She just cant do that again.


	2. The Inner Demons

How was your first week?" Gustus eyed Lexa with curiosity.

"It was ok. I was able to catch up. I am doing everything you asked me to, Dad. You don't have to worry about anything," Giving Gustus an assurance behind her stoic expression. Lexa was never good at showing affection, just like her father. They mutually nodded to each other and went on with their own morning routines.

"You know I'm doing this for your own good. For you to have a better future. I don't want you to experience what I had when I was younger. I want what's best for you and I know what is best for you, Lexa," Lexa gave her father an agreeable nod. Lexa knew what her father meant. Gustus was deprived from the education that he deserved when he was younger not until he met an adoptive family that brought him a home even if hes was already a teenager. Lexa knew the hardship that Gustus went through, from an abusive parents, being chased away from one foster home to another until he spent 10 years of his life doing just that. And when he's about to lose faith the Heda family took him in and took care of him just like their real son. Lexa was ever grateful for his grandparents because of not only what they did for her father but also the love that they showered on her when her mom, Indra past away from a car accident and seeing how Gustus submerged himself to work after the love of his life left him. Lexa knew that she will never see the glister on her father's eyes again. He grew cold and distant and was always busy and away from his own business trips. In which one day, Gustus hoped Lexa would inherit.

Lexa pecked Gustus on the cheek and left the house without another word. She does not want to think over again the responsibilities that she have to carry on her shoulder. The expectations that her father and even her grandparents had on her. She had gone through enough with her parents and now with Echo. _Echo...No Lexa! Don't go down there again. You can't!_

Lexa was already half way through her journey to TonDC and it felt like a blur. She didn't even realised that she's nearing the campus and was snapped out of it by her buzzing phone from her pocket. Lexa took it out and checked, it was from an unknown number.

**Unknown number:Hey goodmorning! Our class is at 11am right? :)**

**Lexa Heda ;) : Who is this?**

**Unknown number: Sorry, its Clarke. This is Lexa right?**

**Lexa Heda ;) : Oh I see. Yes this is Lexa. And yes our class is at 11 am.**

**Clarke Griffin: Great! Can we sit together? I brought us some snacks, our lecturer is kind of boring. :P**

_Seriously? Is she bribing me with snacks just to sit with me? My gosh why am I stuck with this girl. Make an excuse Lexa. That's gonna be awkward._

**Lexa Heda ;) : Oh. Let's just see later. and you didnt have to bring snacks. but thanks.**

**Clarke Griffin: Alright then. Well I guess I'll see you later Lexa. Oh yeah I brought us Pringles your favorite. ;)**

_Pringles? How does she know? I only vaguely mention it to Octavia during break. *sigh* This can't be good. I can't do this right now. Not right now please._

Lexa didn't replied right after that. She started to feel weird whenever she's around the blonde and it was only her second day. Lexa just can't deal with this right now, not with all the things that she's already dealing with.

Upon reaching the campus, Lexa tried to do a mental note just to make sure that Clarke won't be sitting with her during class. Because hell, she knows she won't be able to focus. The blondie already made a mark on her and it scares the crap out of her. She quickly walked to class and made sure that Octavia and Anya were sitting on their usual seats. Being Lexa beside the aisle, then Octavia, followed by Anya and an empty seat where she usually stow her bag. _Let's just remain that way. No moving. No changes._

Lexa heard the front door of the classroom opened and it made her hair stood up. She knew its Clarke. She didn't even realized that she even have an effect on her. Lexa didn't looked up when Clarke walked up to her. She pretended that she didn't noticed her. Lexa closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, gripping her phone till her knuckles turn white, feeling guilty to the core. _What can she do? She can't let this girl in. It happened before and she knows where it is going to end. She can't sacrifice enough to feel what she felt before. She can't._ Lexa felt cold and the jittery feeling started to erupt again. She tried to suppress the feeling over and over again. But it won't go away because she could feel the piercing stare of another pair of eyes on the back of her head.

Lexa stood up and immediately went to the washroom. She locked herself from one of the cubicle, trying to calm herself down. _Breathe in. Breathe out. Come on Lexa you can do this! Just relax._ Lexa just want to submerge herself inside that cubicle and not go back and face Clarke again. She felt afraid enough with a realisation that the girl could do so much to her without even knowing. Clarke is a stranger and nothing more. Lexa closed her eyes and wiped off the weakness on her stance and put on a straight and stoic face. Just like what she does every show. It's not like she never acted before, psh! that's her mantra. That's her zen. She could pull this off.

Lexa unhinged the lock from her cubicle and walked out. Looked at herself on the mirror and nodded to herself. _It's showtime._ Lexa walked briskly back to the classroom, reprimanding herself for missing out the crucial 10 minutes of the lecture. Though not so much because the lecturer was a total torture. Lexa could hear the monotonous voice of the lecturer behind the closed doors and she discretely sneaked herself in, back to her seat. Trying to focus on the lecture, she kept having this piercing stare feeling, again behind her head. Lexa sighed and straightened up her posture trying not to get the feeling affect her that much.

\----------------

"Finally! Break! It was freaking battlefield out there." Octavia snaked her arm over Lexa's waist. Lexa tensed up with the touch but let it go knowing its Octavia.

"If it was a battle and he's boringness is his weapon. We're SO not gonna survive! He literally trapped and bombed us. But thanks to our commander Lexa here. Didn't know you have it in ya!" Anya patted her on the back and smiled back at them. Feeling proud of what she did back there.

_*_ **_flashback* 5 minutes ago_ **

"We have different types of hierarchy..." The lecture dragged on and on. Odd, Lexa could possibly thought that maybe the lecturer was actually enjoying himself making students suffer from his fantastic voice! Can't he see that half of the class were already asleep? He seemed so oblivious that he had been talking for the past hour and a half and they haven't even have their break yet. Lexa can't take this torture anymore, and only made it worse, the creeping feeling she have on the back of her head. She have to get out of here. She needs to breathe.

Lexa raised her hand. "Uuumm... Sir. With all due respect, don't you think its time for break?" The lecturer looked at her with a passive look and was about to say something.

"Yeah! Break!" The rest of the class cheered.

"Well go on then." The lecturer puffed. And simple as that, they were on their way to the cafeteria looking for a table to sit. Lexa felt more relaxed knowing that Clarke isn't behind her anymore. And she truly couldn't careless wherever she was at that moment. Lexa just want to embrace the more unwinding atmosphere she was having rather than the tense atmosphere back there, which she will be having more of that without a doubt.

\-----------------

Just when she thought she could finally be free for just a tiny moment.

"Hey! Raven! Clarke! Over here!"

Lexa snapped her head towards the direction of the voice and saw Octavia waved her hands up towards the pair who were starting to walk their way to the table. _Crap. Why Octavia?_ Lexa closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead cursing under her breath. Lexa tried to look focus on her food but not touching it. Just to have something to look at and not towards the direction of the blonde girl.

"Woah! Chill Lex. You might burn some holes in there. What wrong?" As Raven reached up to her. Lexa smiled tightly and shook her head.

"Nothing. Uumm guys I think I'm full. I'll just head out to the library for awhile. See you guys in class." Looking at Anya, Octavia and Raven. Briefly glanced at Clarke with a troubled look. Lexa shook off the look on Clarke's face. _No Lexa. NO._ She returned her trays at the Tray Station and walked briskly towards the library.

Lexa sat down at one of the most isolated sofa on top floor of the library and switched on her ipod and listened to her kind of music while trying to relax and clear her mind. Just like what she did everytime she was bombarded by persistent thoughts that she can't get rid off. Slowly, she could feel slumber kicking in and slowly enveloped her.

"Lexa. Lexa wake up! You dozed off." Lexa shot opened her eyes and yanked off her earphone without thinking about the pain she felt on her ears.

"Omg! I'm late for class! Thank you Mrs. Mathew" A plump lady nodded and smiled wryly at Lexa. Lexa ran back towards her classroom and slowly opened the door. But she was astounded finding the classroom dark and empty. _What? How long was I asleep?_ Lexa checked her phone and was shocked to receive 10 missed calls and 8 messages from the girls. Even Clarke messaged her.

**Clarke Griffin: Hey Lexa. Where are you? The class is about to end. Are you ok? Text me.**

**Clark Griffin: The class just ended. I have your bag with me. Answer my call please. I'm getting worried. I can't seem to find you at the library.**

Lexa inhaled deeply and dialed Clarke's number.

"Hey! where are you? We were worried. I tried to find you at the library but I can't seem to find you. Where are you Lexa?"

Lexa feeling guilty again because she hates making people worry about her. Lexa swallowed the lump on her throat and answered back.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I fell asleep at the library. Where are you? So I can get my bag from you. Thanks by the way."

5 minutes later, both of them were standing by the campus gate. Swallowed by the awkward presence around them.

"Thanks again for taking my bag, Clarke." Lexa nodded and smile being grateful for the stranger. Clarke nodded and still had that radiant smile plastered on her face. _Doesn't she ever get tired of smiling? But it does suits her though. Those lips with a tinge of red lipstick. So... Hold that thought. Don't go there!_

"You're staring, Lexa." Clarke smirked at her. Lexa looked away hoping Clarke wouldn't see her blush. At the corner of Lexa's eyes she peeked at Clarke who was also staring.

"You're staring too, Clarke," not looking at Clarke's way. She heard Clarke giggled and seems like its the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. _I would do anything I can just to hear that sound again... No, Lexa. You shouldn't be doing this. Remember the hurt?_ Lexa closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead trying to brush off the arguments inside her head.

"Are you ok, Lex?" Lexa once again was attracted at Clarke's piercing blue eyes. She was almost lost at words.

"Yes. I'm fine, Clarke. I've got to go. Thanks again, Clarke" Leaving Clarke by the gate and walked briskly towards the bus stop. _I can't do this anymore. I feel like giving up. How can this girl affect me this much? This can't be happening again. Not until Echo. Not yet. I can't think about Echo anymore. I'm not yet ready to open that case. Not yet._

"Lexa! Wait up! I forgot to give you something," Clarke grabbed Lexa's arm. Lexa tensed up with the touch. She twirled around still feeling the tingly feeling on Clarke's touch. She found Clarke holding a tube of Pringles on her hand and handed it over to Lexa.

"I got cheese. I kind of asked Octavia yesterday what flavour you would prefer. So here you go." Clarke smiled sweetly at Lexa with those blue eyes. Lexa could feel herself melt to the ground. _Snap out of it!_

"Uumm... thanks. You shouldn't have to, Clarke."

"I wanted to. I hope you enjoyed it." Lexa nodded and smiled faintly. Feeling unsure of what to do, so she turned to her heels and decided to leave once again.

"Uumm... Lexa. Were you avoiding me?" Lexa stood rooted to her ground. Unsure of what to do. Her head tells her _Run! Run away! Red alert! You're threading on a dangerous waters here Lexa! Abort now!_ But the rational person would do was to face her fears of confrontations. Lexa was never good at letting out her feeling, let alone to someone she hardly knew. Lexa faced Clarke with a full stoic look. but deep inside Lexa was struggling with her inner demons. Guilt. Pain. Fear.

"No. Of course not, Clarke." Close ended statement, to keep this confrontation short.

"I see. Well that's great. I thought you were avoiding me. You've been a bit aloof since this morning. But I guess I was wrong. Well I will see you tomorrow then?"

Lexa nodded and there she was watching Clarke take her leave. Leaving behind a startled Lexa behind her stoic mask. _How can she do that? How can Clarke seems to see right through her? This doesn't feel right._ Lexa shook her head, trying to get rid of the thoughts that clouded her mind. _I can't be this vulnerable. Clarke can never see me like this. No. There's no way._ Lexa inhaled deeply and exhaled through her mouth. _This isn't gonna end good._


	3. The Heart Grow Fonder

**A month later**

Clarke knew that was the end of her when Raven told her about the it. She was never good at sports, during gym she had been hit by balls and it doesn't matter even if they were not using any during their period. Jogging was even a torture, the blonde kept on tripping on even straight pavement without a problem. And her misfortunes are a long lists that she wants to forget.

"Hiking, Raven? Really? You know I'm not good with even pathways and now your asking me to go hiking. Trees. Dirt. UNEVEN GROUND. You do knows where I'm heading right?" Clarke dictates every single word with dignity, trying to convey to the other girl the obvious.

"I know, Clarke! But the others are going to be there and you're the only one going to be left behind. That wouldn't be fun wouldn't it?" Raven cooed back at Clarke, trying to break the girls determination to not to go. Raven knew that Clarke is a sucker for not going to any social events, or rather even UN-eventful happenings. Clarke just have to be there without question.

The blonde sighed and clenched her fist tightly. She tsk-ed and stared hard at Raven who was grinning ear to ear.

"Pleeaassee... You're going to miss all the fun!.... Lexa's gonna be there..." she smirked at the blonde who was now furrowing her brows and giving Raven a dirty look.

"What does Lexa got to do with this?"

"Oh puh-lease! I'm not that dumb."

"Raven! I don't know what you're talking about. Seriously." Who was starting to get annoyed by Raven's constant smirk every time Lexa and her were at the same room.

"Ok fine. Forget what I said. Just please, come on! Just come...," Raven begged relentlessly.

Clarke gave up and sighed loudly," Ok fine. I'm in. But if anything bad happen to me you're all to blame," threatening the girl who nodded happily giving her a hug. _What have I gotten myself into?_ Clarke grimaced by the thought of the coming Saturday. But Lexa though... her stomach made a flipped making Clarke stunned. _What just happened?_

\-------------

**Octavia Blake: "Goodmorning!!! Rise and shine!!! Wake up sleepy head, its almost time to hike. I'll pick you up in an hour. Text me! :D"**

Lexa tossed from her sleep hearing the faint ding of her phone. She groaned loudly grabbing her phone, reading the text message. Lexa grumbled again rolling out of her bed. Dragged herself into the shower and prepared her stuff. Today the group are going to go hiking or rather cycling. Okay, maybe a mix of both. Thanks to Anya and Octavia's bright idea, because the best way to spend their Saturday morning is to trek into the woods. Not that Lexa is complaining, she loves nature she could feel it calling her. The serenity and peaceful sceneries that you won't get to see anywhere else. But due to the fact that Clarke is going to be there. And this past month, Lexa learned that Clarke isn't really an outdoorsy person.

Just a simple jog around the block could harm her more than a human being could. She's great with people but physical activities not so much. And that worries Lexa, rather more than she should be. She grew fonder of the blondie this past month. She kept a look out whenever she feels like blondie is in danger or in harms way. Evidently, both Clarke and Lexa seemed to always find their way into trouble everytime theyre together. Stranded in an elevator. Being chased by dogs at the parks. Being locked in a room for a couple of hours and the lists goes on. Lexa doesn't really mind because she came to realise that she loves spending time with Clarke. She's funny and bubbly. She could light up the room instantaneously. Something that Lexa could never acquire and she envy the girl for it.

Lexa heard a knock on her door at exactly 8am and she knew its Octavia. Always on the dot, that's what she loves about Octavia, a not so stereotype girl.

"Ready, commander?"

Lexa shot Octavia a look. "Okay. Okay. No nicknames...For now. Come on we're going to be late. Anya's waiting inside the car," Lexa had enough the 'Commander' nickname calling. It was just one time and now it's stuck on her for a month and God knows for how long. They jogged out the door and met up with Anya who was sitting shotgun.

"Sorry babe, I came first. haha," Lexa sighed and sat grudgily behind them because it only means one thing she have to sit beside Clarke or Raven. Lexa really hoped its the latter. Even though, she does enjoy Clarke's company but physical contact doesn't do her well. She still tensed up whenever they brushed arms or accidentally knocked each others hands. Or how sometimes Clarke tends to be clingy. That's a No-No for Lexa.

They arrived at Raven's house but only saw Clarke outside standing.

"Raven forgot something inside the house. She'll be out soon,"

As the girl's exchanged pleasantries, Clarke opened the door. Clarke stood outside the opened door and peeked inside, there sat Lexa looking straight ahead. She was caught in a dilemma if she should wait for Raven or should she risk it sitting beside Lexa for the whole 3 hours.

"Well come on in then. It's cold outside." Mentioned Anya motioning Clarke to enter the vehicle.

As Clarke hit the spot beside Lexa. The brunette cursed under her breath and smile faintly at the new comer. She continues to look out the window as she tried to push in further towards the door to have enough personal space between her and Clarke.

"Sorry guys, I forgot my camera. Let's go!" While Raven buckling down on her seat beside Clarke. _This is going to be a long day. *sigh*_ Its going to take exactly 3 hours to get there, so as much as possible Lexa tried to relax, extending her legs as far as she can and tried to get some sleep. An hour later, she abruptly woke up and they're still on the road. She could feel a heavy weight on her shoulder and found Clarke fast asleep. Lexa tried not to panic but she could feel her heart pounding out of her chest. _Relax Lexa. It's just Clarke._ Lexa furrowed at the speed of her heart, she ignored pounding and tried to get some sleep again. Without realising, Lexa sniffed the blonde's hair and unconsciously smiled. Imagining a picture of a lilac behind her closed lids as she drifted herself back to sleep. Clarke scooted even deeper into the crooked of Lexa's neck. Unknowingly the brunette eventually tilted her head against the head of the sleeping girl.

\------------------

"Finally guys! We're here! Wake up sleepy heads!" Octavia bellowed at the three girls at the back.

"Come on, let's grab lunch first and then head out the trail. This is so exciting!" Clapped her two hands together and intentionally jerking the girls awake.

Lexa grumbled over Octavia's over enthusiasm, while trying to feel her right arm which obviously turned numb.

"Sorry I fell asleep. Are you ok? I'm kind of a cuddle sleeper. I just grabbed whatever is around." The blonde apologised sheepishly, staring at Lexa earnestly.

"You don't say..." Rubbing her arm, trying to whiz out of the stare and stepped out of the car.

Clarke watched Lexa stepped out of the car feeling guilty because she fell asleep on her shoulders and now it seems like the brunette was annoyed. The blonde rubbed her eyes away from her sleep and followed suit with the rest, trying to forget about the sinking feeling she was currently having.

\--------------------

The girls had their lunch at the nearest cafe, Capitol's Cafe before embarking on their journey. _Quit it Lexa, she's not looking at you. Look at something else._ You know the instinct when someone's looking at you. The feeling where you felt your hair stands up. You looked around and found someone is _actually_ looking at you. That's what Lexa was currently feeling and she knew who it was coming from. Lexa puffed and shoved her hair out of her face, holding it up with her left hand. She felt a flicker of movement from her peripheral vision, Lexa looked at her. _Caught ya! What do you have to keep doing that? If you wanna say something just say it. Stop staring._ Lexa looked at Clarke from across the table who seemed to look embarrassed as she looked away, as if she was guilty of something. Lexa could see a tinge of redness creeping up her face. Lexa smirked and directed her vision to the other three girls who were chatting animatedly.

\------------------

 _Crap! She caught me. Look away, Clarke. Slooowwllyyy. Make it natural. Dang it, Clarke! How many times do you have to get caught?_ Clarke kept reprimanding herself to stop it, to stop watching or ogling at the brunette. But she can't help it. The first sight that she landed on the brunette was beyond expectation. The way she carry herself. The way she shove her hair away from her face. The expressionless like she don't give a damn to the world but her green alluring eyes speak otherwise. Loads of times did Clarke admit to herself that she was utterly amazed by the girl. The more she wanted to know what's behind the mysterious facade. She tried. Clarke did try to be friendly - may it be casual conversation, bringing snacks to class, hell... she even texted her on her second day in school. It's a taboo, right? It got to be a taboo to text someone just on your second day in school but Clarke got way too excited.

Perhaps, its one of the reasons why Lexa seemed aloof on her. She realised that. So she took a step back. Despite the fact that Lexa told her that she isn't avoiding her, her eyes definitely gave her away. Clarke tried to play it cool, smiled and let it go. Maybe the brunette isn't interested. By the thought of it, made the blonde very disappointed.

\-------------------

"Excuse my ladies, can I take any more orders?" A gentleman in a black shirt, curly black hair with large smirk on his freckled face. Octavia screamed at the top of her lungs, stood up and jumped at the curly hair boy. They twirled around laughing like maniacs.

"OMG! You're here! I've missed you! I thought you weren't coming." Staring lovingly at the Curly haired boy. "Of course, I'll be here. I haven't seen you in a month, O. I really missed you." Giving Octavia another bear hug.

Raven cleared her throat. "Octavia, why don't you introduced us to that fine gentleman you got there." Smirking at Octavia, finishing with a seductive wink. _Such a Raven move._ Lexa rolled her eyes on her and smiled.

"Sorry, I got too excited. Girls, Bellamy my brother. Bellamy, the girls I was talking about. Lexa, Anya, Clarke and of course, Raven." Rolling her eyes as she mentioned Raven's name. Bellamy laughed and slumped her arm over Octavia. "Nice to meet you girls. Finally. How was my baby sister doing? Hope she's not being a pain in the butt. I know she can be sometimes." Mocking her. Octavia gave a pouty look at her brother, sidelining a menacing look at the girls.

"Don't you dare," she mouthed making the girls snickered at their seats.

"Bellamy! There you are. We've been looking all over for you. Jasper found us a table. Octavia! You're here!" An asian looking boy approached them giving Octavia a hug. "Did you brought along the musketeers, Bellamy?" Octavia laughed heartily, making fun of her the asian boy.

"You know they go where I go. Aaannd here comes the gang." The latter boy rolled his eyes and looked at the approaching people. Bellamy slowly introduced the guys to the girls. In which Lexa vaguely remembered being, Monty - the asian geeky one who seemed to keep glancing at Anya, Jasper - tall and skinny who was busy typing away on his phone and of course, Lincoln - the tanned and buff looking guy which Octavia definitely swooned over. "Join us Bell, so we could get to know each other. Octavia mentioned a lot about you." Anya suggested which made Bellamy and the gang eagerly agreed on.

Pretty soon, everybody's strapped their helmets on and cruising on their bikes. Lexa was chatting up with Octavia where they should head first and other sceneries they should see before sun down. Lexa was very excited about the journey and immediately cycled her way along with the gang. _*sigh* I miss this feeling. The wind on your hair. The smell of the dampen earth. The blurry sights of trees and bushes._ She smiled to herself broadly and reminisced about the time when she was younger, where she used to climb trees, catch dragonflies and just watch the stars above her. Lexa grinned widely and released her hands from the handle bars of her bike. She felt the wind past her bony hands and a giggle escaped her lips. _Never felt so free in such a long time._ She closed her eyes for a second to take a deep breath and open again to survey her surrounding greenery. They're cycling past tall grass patch, fallen logs, birds chirping from nearby trees and the afternoon sun glaring on them. _This couldn't get any better._ Lexa looked at the gang in front of her and laughed when the guys tried to race each other, Pushing and pulling each other while cycling. "Childish much," she smirked.

**_RING RIIIINNGG_ **

**_RING RIIIINNGG_ **

Lexa immediately stopped when she heard her ringtone blasted from her pocket. She looked at the caller and recognised that it was Clarke. She scanned at the group in front of her and indeed, Clarke was missing.

"Clarke? Where are you? Are you alright?" Questioned Lexa with a worry written all over her face. _Did she get into accident? Where is this girl?! ARGH!_ Lexa cycled back where they had started,while trying to balance her phone with the other hand. She looked back at the gang and decided to just catch up with the rest when she finally found Clarke.

"Clarke! Answer me! Where are you? I'm coming for you." Lexa belted when she didn't hear any replies from the blonde.

"Sorry Lex, I don't know who else to call. I'm at the bike rental." Clarke muttered and hung up on Lexa. Lexa quickly cycled back to the stalls and crowd, searching for Clarke. _Where are you Clarke? Tsk!... Take it easy, Lex. Nothing could possibly happen to Clarke. Relax. Take a deep breath. In. Out._ Lexa flared her nostrils as she skimmed through the growing crowd, looking for a familiar face. Then she finally found Clarke slumped over her bike with a torn expression.

"Clarke! What happened? Are you alright? Anything hurt?" Lexa asked like a worried mother. Clarke stood up like she got grounded and looked at Lexa with a defeated face. Lexa stared at her worriedly.

"Uumm... I don't know how to say this. It's so embarrassing. I...I don't...tsk," Clarke covered her face with her hands to hide the blush forming on her cheeks. Lexa stood straight and waited for an answer. Clarke peeked between her fingers and looked at Lexa. She sighed heavily, "I don't know how to ride a bike my parents didn't taught me how to ride one because they were busy with their work and I know its so embarrassing that I'm already in college and still don't know how to ride a bike. I'm sorry Lex that I called you back here." She blurted out in one breath. Lexa stared at the blondie astounded and laughed till her eyes stung with tears. Clarke turned beet red and smacked Lexa on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry! Sorry! You just looked so adorable!" Lexa admitted, still giggling under her breathe. She looked at Clarke who's expression suddenly changed by Lexa's words. Lexa looked away and cleared her throat.

"Come on, I'll teach you. We have to catch up with them," Looking at the blondie carefully. Lexa hitched a breathe when a grin crawled on Clarke's face. _Every. Single. Time._ Lexa reluctantly broke her gaze from Clarke and reminded her to put on her helmet. She instructed Clarke to sit on the bike, look straight and start pedalling. They did this for a couple of minutes until Clarke get it right. Almost.

"Dont..... Dont let go!... Not yet," Clarke pleaded as she tried to pedal, still swerving from left to right. Lexa tailed after her gripping Clarke's bike seat trying to balance her.

"I wont let go, Clarke. Just look straight. Concentrate," reminded Lexa. _'I wont let go, Clarke' words echoed into Lexa's head, she felt like it meant more than it should._ She shook her head to dismiss the thoughts that's starting to pound at her and focused at the swerving girl. She slowly let go of the bike seat and watched Clarke cycled on her own. Lexa smiled at the improvement of the blonde but immediately regretted it when the girl realised that Lexa wasn't behind her anymore. Clarke swerved hard right and landed on the gravel, groaning.

"I'm sorry, Clarke! Are you alright? I shouldn't have let go too soon," Lexa apologised profusely, helping the girl up. But she was taken aback when Clarke was an inch from her with a huge grin.

"Did you see that, Lexa? OMG! That was awesome! I did it!. Thank you! I owe you dinner!" Clarke was jumping up and down and bear hugged Lexa tightly. Lexa tensed up by the contact but slowly relaxes.

"You did well," and patted Clarke on the back. The hug lasted a bit longer than it should and Lexa started to feel uncomfortable because she started to feel how soft Clarke was. The strong lilac smell emitting from her hair or her body hit her hard. Worse, The feeling like they could hug forever and what scared her the most, was that she doesn't mind at all. In fact, she wanted it to be longer. _But no. It can't._ Lexa pulled herself free from Clarke and smiled at her encouragingly.

"We should take our leave. They might be looking for us. Can you manage on your own?" Looking at Clarke as the girl nodded with a big proud grin straddling her bike once more. Lexa cruised at a slow speed so that Clarke can catch up and keeping her eyes out on her at the same time. She could never really imagine that they would be good friends at this rate. She could definitely feel that Clarke was different from Octavia, Anya and others. She still doesn't get the reason why, why is she magnetised to the blonde. Why her eyes always lands on the blonde hair or those deep blue eyes. How sometimes the thought of Clarke could bring her to smile every waking moment. How she sometimes dreamt of her staring at those eyes and felt as if its best feeling that she ever felt. Lexa felt confused and scared. She was afraid of the things that the blonde was doing to her. She had never met anyone who can bombarded her thoughts, let alone in her dreams. She always got her guards up whenever Clarke's around. But always caught surprised when she felt soft inside when Clarke looks at her... When she felt Clarke was gazing on her... Worse, when Clarke was on danger she would leave anything behind just to be there for her. To comfort her. Or just to see her smile again. _What do you think Lexa? What do you think this is?.... I don't even wanna think about it. Just shut it._

Lexa inhaled the fresh air and let it go, as if she's letting go the thoughts that stung her mind for the past month. She rubbed her forehead unknowingly and looked straight ahead.

"What's wrong, Lexa? What are you thinking?"

Lexa almost swerved towards the bushes but was able to save her balance. She was caught off guard by Clarke's questions. _Does she knows? Was that obvious?_ Lexa started to get worried.

"What do you mean?" Lexa stammered without giving a glance at the blonde. Because she knew too far that Clarke is staring at her again, she could feel her piercing blue eyes on her face. She knew she will melt if she ever met those curious eyes.

"You rubbed your forehead over and over again. Then you have that look as if you were battling about something inside your head. You tend to do that, you know, when you were in deep thoughts," Clarke answered back knowingly. She was, again, caught surprised by this revelation. It never occurred to her that it was that obvious or Clarke was just that too observant. She flared her nostrils and kept looking straight.

"Nothing. I was just wondering where Octavia and the others could be." Lexa dodged with less enthusiasm. _Darn it. Don't be so obvious Lexa._ "Come on. Let's hurry they might still be at the drink stall where our first stop should be," Lexa pedalled harder and quicker lagging Clarke behind who deemed to be taking in the challenge to quicken their pace.

\-------------------

"Lexa! There you both are! I've been calling you and Clarke. You're not answering your phone. What happened?" Anya asked. Lexa looked at Clarke for permission and Clarke puffed and nodded. "Clarke... doesn't know... how to ride one. So I went back to her and taught her. That's why we're late. Sorry," Lexa explained. Clarke closed her eyes and waited for the usual unwanted sympathy. As she had expected, The gang looked at Clarke with compassion as they tried to cheer her up. Lexa smiled at Clarke encouragingly and bought themselves something to drink.

\-------------------

"You know Clarke, you should have told me sooner. I'm more than willing to teach you," Bellamy winked at Clarke and seeing the blonde giggled on that. Lexa almost choked on her drink, she turned away and wiped her mouth hastily. Lexa furrowed her brows and concentrated on her drinks, ignoring the penetrating tug on her chest.

"Yeah, Bellamy's reeeaaally good. He taught me how to dirt bike last summer. It was AWE...SOME!" Jasper exaggerated on his words and laughed when Bellamy shot him a glare. "Just trying to be helpful man," he argued back with his hands up in defence. Bellamy hit his head with his empty bottle and grin at Clarke timidly. Which Clarke definitely caught on.

"Hey Lex, chill will ya. Have some pity on that poor can," Octavia murmured, keeping her voice low. Octavia took Lexa's crushed coca cola can and threw it at the trash can. "What's up with you lately? Did something happened? Is it something about... Clarke?" O asked carefully, more timidly as she mentioned the blonde's name. Lexa stood up and asked wearily, "where are we heading next?" and walked back to her bike. 5 minutes later, the gang started to cruise to another pavement, more narrower and secluded. Lesser cyclist at that time of the day which made Lexa more at ease. She glimpsed at the couple behind, Bellamy and Clarke, slowly cruising together. The persistent tug on Lexa's chest grown harder but was still overlooked. Lexa clenched her jaw and tightened her grip on her bike until her knuckles turn white. _Just turn around Lex. There's nothing to see there... That should be me._ Lexa flared her nostril and exhaled deeply, pedalling harder on her bike. _Just get away from them. Far. Away._ But too soon to tell. Lexa heard a falling bike and a groaning girl. Without hesitation Lexa made a sharp U-turn and made her way towards her. Dropping her bike without halting, she jogged her way towards the fallen blonde.

"Hey. Hey, can you stand up?" asked Lexa, searching for the pain-stricken look on the girl's face. Lexa mirrored the expression as if herself was feeling the hurt too. She helped the girl to stand up while Bellamy behind giving them support.

"Yes I'm fine. Peachy even," smiled Clarke reassuringly. Lexa nodded and looked at Bellamy who smiled taking Clarke's bike with him. She strode back to her abandoned bike...

"Lexa... can you... bike with me?" Clarke asked apprehensively. Lexa knows too well that she will give in when she sees those blue eyes again. She rubbed her forehead and sighed, "Bellamy's with you. He'll take care of you," without looking back, without uttering another word, Lexa pedalled harder and faster until her lungs could burst open. She doesn't want to feel it. She doesn't want to let it consume her. She knows too well what this means. What she feels and its something she can't ponder on or even start to because she knows that it is impossible to happen or even to begin with. She a felt a sting on her eyes, she looked up to the sky and let the wind dry it out of her. She swallowed the lump on her throat and pursed her lips when she felt it quiver. As she approached the rest she put on another stoic face.

"We will settle here for awhile before we head to the quarry. It should be a nice overview when the sun is setting down," Raven informed Lexa. Lexa nodded once and walked off to the small shelter where the rest were gathered.

"Who's up for truth or dare?" Jasper asked cheekily, giving Monty the hint.

"Come on guys. Let's sit on the ground. Jasper you spin first,"

Jasper took the bottle and spun it around as Clarke and Bellamy approached the circle. The mouth landed on Octavia.

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Alright, who do you think is the hottest person in the group?" Jasper asked with a knowing smirk and wiggling eyebrows. Octavia shook her head and answered.

"Obviously, Lincoln. Just look at him." rebutted Octavia raking her eyes up and down Lincoln's body. She laughed hard when Lincoln's face turned red and couldn't stop smiling. Octavia was so open. She always have been that is why Lexa could easily be friends with her. Lexa giggled and squeezed O's crossed legs, laughing at the same time.

"Octavia spin the bottle,"

She spun it and it went round and round for the longest time and landed on Monty. He sat up straight and got ready for the question.

"Dare!" he exclaimed without even hearing the question.

"Hhmm.. so eager are we? Ok. I dare you... to kiss the person whom you think is hot," she grinned widely at Monty who seemed to turn white as paper. "On the lips..." O added with a smirk. The gang 'ooohhh-ed' loudly and cheered for Monty who was scanning the group and slowly crawled his way to Anya. He gave an apologetic smile but received an encouraging smile from her. He met her lips half way and made out for a few seconds before crawling back to his position. His face turned red so as his ears, the others cheered 'wohoo-ed' and whistled at him giving him a pat on the back. Embarrassed enough, Monty can't even look at Anya straight in the eyes without turning even more redder.

Monty spun the bottle next and landed on Clarke.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Uumm... Dare?"

"Ooohh. Sweet sweet revenge. I dare you to chew this piece of gum and pass it to the person that you want. ONLY using your mouth," Clarke stared at Monty with wide eyes and started to decline the dare.

"No way. Come on, Monty...," Clarke moaned.

"Come on, Clarke. I kissed Anya. Be a good sport," chorused by the rest.

Clarke pouted and took the gum defeatedly. She chewed it down and surveyed the group. She looked at Bellamy who smiled at her optimistically and nodded. She was not sure who to give it to. Though deep inside the brunette's face always seems to linger. Clarke rolled the gum around her mouth still trying to figure who the hell should she choose. _Do it, Clarke. You know you wanted to..._ Her sight landed on Lexa, who was observing her with a gapped mouth. Despite, the way that Lexa reacted around her she was still magnetised to her. Despite, how Lexa looked at her in a weird and confusing way sometimes she still finds it adorable. She can't think straight. Her head is on haywire. All she could possibility think about was Lexa. She doesn't what does this suppose to mean but she wanted to understand.

\---------------------

The way Clarke move, the smile, how her jaw moves from chewing the gum... seems so... captivating. Lexa watched Clarke feeling so mesmerised by her until she gasped of what was about to happen... _Woah, what is she doing? No way. NO WAY!_ Next thing she knew, Clarke was inches from her. She could smell the minty breath coming from her mouth. Almost made Lexa giddy. _This can't be happening._ The horror struck her almost instantly and she knew because it mirrored on Clarke's face.

"Sorry. This will be quick," Clarke reassured Lexa. Lexa nodded with a furrowed brows and closed her eyes. _Why did she agreed to this?_ She could feel Clarke's breathing on her. The smell of fresh mint got even stronger. The giddiness that Lexa was feeling was a thousand times worse but ironically, Lexa doesn't mind at all. Lexa swallowed the forming lump on her throat and braced herself for the contact. She peeked behind her lids and it almost made her heart stopped. Clarke's lips were inches from hers. She shut her eyes tightly and felt it. _IT_. It was soft and gentle. It sent a thousand jolt of electricity through her whole body not knowing what to do next.

 _Should I move?_ She opened her mouth a bit to give her access. Lexa started to imagine how it all going to happen. She was anticipating. Her heart was about to jump out of her chest. Her ears can't hear anything but the continuous and hard pounding of her heartbeat. The tingling sensation started to creep down her shoulder to her hands. _This was good to be true. Is this really happening?_

All of a sudden, everything came crashing down in one go. She felt a foreign object entering her mouth. Sticky, wet, sweet yet minty. It dawned on her... _The dare_. Lexa beat herself up consciously for forgetting about the dare and of course, the people around them. Who seemed to be gawking at them with wide eyes and intentional clearing of throats. Lexa backed away from Clarke and stared at her dilated blue eyes. Lexa's chest pounded harder. She tried to get her breathing right again and smiled faintly at Clarke's confused face.

"That was hot!" O exclaimed and patted Lexa on the back.

"If it weren't for the dare. I would have thought something fishy was happening. Hhmmm...," Lincoln hinted and winked at Octavia duetting a laugh. Lexa shot both of them a glare and they both quieted down. She briefly glanced at Clarke who's face still undeniably bewildered. Lexa wondered why was that? _Was is that bad? Does her mouth smell bad?_ Lexa was beaten and torn by the thoughts and aggressively chewing on the gum until her jaw hurts. The game went on for another half an hour till they settled back to embark again on their journey. Clarke was undeniably quiet, even Bellamy was worried and kept asking her why. Lexa observed that that she just kept brushing the question off. Lexa knew better. She have to let it go.

\----------------------

Clarke's hand twitched. She wanted to stay there longer than she could ever admit. The soft and warm lips that temporarily hit hers sent her over the moon. _This can't be. No._ Clarke closed her eyes tightly and opened them again and watched Lexa's reaction towards her. Its like both of them mirrored what each other felt but Lexa smiled briefly. She tried to reciprocate but her brain doesn't comprehend. She turned around and settled back beside Bellamy who nudged her and said, "pretty steamy huh." The only thing she can do was laughed avoiding the gaze from time to time that the brunette was giving her. _Stop thinking about it. It doesn't mean anything. It's just your first time, that must be why._ She settled for the reasonable answer and moved on.


	4. The War

Upon reaching the trail towards the quarry, Lexa grew even more excited. The sun is setting down but the trail is still visible under the shades of the trees. There was no pavement heading up but with manually made stairs through the soil were present. Perhaps from years and years of visitor's trek. Anya, Raven, Monty, Jasper and Lincoln got the head start.

Followed by Lexa and Octavia, who seemed to be giving Lexa the smirk. Lexa shot a her a glare and started without her.

"Hey, you mad?" O asked with a pouty lips and puppy eyes.

How could you get mad with those?

Lexa sighed. "No."

O recovered back. "So how was it?"

"How was what?"

"You know what I mean," rolling her eyes at Lexa.

"I don't know what you're talking about," now starting to pant.

"Come on, Lex. Everybody can see the tension with the both of you." O revealed.

"Look, O..." now fully facing Octavia. "Just because I've mentioned that I had a girlfriend before. It doesn't mean that I'm into girls that easily. There is nothing going on between me and Clarke. So please... just drop it."

O took a step back and raised her hands in defence.

"OK. Nothing's going between you and Clarke," and showed Lexa an 'Ok' sign. Leaving Lexa with her thoughts.

Lexa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. She heard the couple behind them talking and laughing enthusiastically. Lexa trudged on faster, quickening her paces.

"Wow. This looks amazing, O. This place isn't so bad. Look at how blue the sea is," Lincoln shook his head in amazement. Octavia couldn't help but feel pleased of herself. For discovering an unbeaten path that hardly anyone goes. O mentally thank her adventure side cause she pretty impressed Lincoln. Lexa walked up to the pit and stared at the sea below. It was indeed an amazing view. The glistening waters, sparkling under the afternoon sunlight. The vast blue hitting Lexa's eyes reminds her of the blonde's. She cringed and took a step back and bumped against the blue eyed girl herself. Instantaneously, Lexa slipped away without a word and busied herself with her water bottle.

"Guys! Let's take a groupfie! Come on, let's gather. Compress! Lexa come here quick!" Raven called out adjusting her DSLR.

SNAP! SNAP! SNAP!

"Awesome pics guys! Linc. O. You're turn. Quick, up in the pit,"

Lincoln and Octavia posed for Raven, making serious and wacky poses that made Lexa giggle.

Lexa closed her eyes for a moment. There it is again. The feels. Lexa resigned and looked at Clarke. Still having that perplexed look as if she was trying to figure something out. Lexa gave Clarke a nod and looked away.

Clarke tried not to be affected. She tried not to ponder why Lexa was giving her a cold shoulder all of a sudden. She thought they were doing great back at the bike rental. She tried to ask for her help when she fell, she hoped that she would guide her but she hastily pedalled away from her and Bellamy. Is it because of him? Is it because of the dare? Clarke sighed and collapsed at the nearest rock swigging down her bottle of water. She doesn't even know why she kept on making effort what is it with her? Because its Lexa...

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Jasper, Monty, Anya. Your turn,"

The three also did random poses and later, Lexa's name was called.

"Lex. Clarke. Your turn."

Lexa was unmoved, she doesn't want to be standing beside her. Awkwardness started to crawl up on her nerve.

"Join us Rae. You haven't took a pic yet,"

"No can do, Princess. I'm going to take a pic with her," smirked by Bellamy.

Lexa closed her eyes tightly and trudged her way up to the pit, tailed by Clarke who seemed pretty hesitant too. Lexa tried to act normal, funny, serious and all kinds of poses. She started to relax when she sees the blonde smiling and relaxing.

Next, Bellamy and Raven took the pit and posed for a couple more pictures. Lexa smiled at the sight of it and laughed at their whimsical poses. She browsed at the gallery and checked the pictures. She giggled but pursed her lips trying not to let it out.

"Let it out. It might come out the other end," Clarke hinted with a smirk.

Lexa laughed till her hearts content and showing Clarke the camera, who laughed twice as hard. Lexa watched the girl in front of her till her blue eyes flickered on her. Lexa was startled when the girl was suddenly sauntered closely. She could feel her breathing. The warmth of her body. It all made her hair stood up.

\---------------------------------------------------------

The blonde noticed something. She tried really hard not to reach out because it means she have to step inside the brunette's personal space and she's afraid to make the tension even stronger than it already was. But of course you failed to keep yourself together.

\---------------------------------------------------------

Lexa closes her eyes and anticipated. She could feel her heart pounding against her chest. Her ears. She slowly squinted and saw Clarke holding a dry leaf in front of her.

"There's a leaf on your hair," Clarke smirked.

"Of course, there is," she smirked back and winked at Clarke. Lexa turned to her heels , trying to regain back her breathing. Smooth move Lexa. Lexa rolled her eyes and grimaced. She quickly followed the others back down towards the bike stands, dangling with camera on her front.

She slowly eased her steps down the uneven dirt stairs, observing the blonde on her peripheral view, holding the rope tightly as she did the same.

"LEX!"

Something heavy hit the brunette from behind and found the blonde stumbling down the stairs.

"Clarke!"

She raced towards her and grabbed her waist to prevent her from falling further.

"Do you have a freaking death wish, Clarke?! Will you be careful!" Lexa glared angrily at the blonde. The brunette was breathing heavily she could feel her blood boiling. If she was in cartoon her nose and ears would have probably be emitting smoke.

"I'm sorry, Clarke..." Lexa rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes. "You can't make me worry about you all the time. You have no idea how frustrating constantly thinking about if you're going to be safe --"

Lexa stopped at mid-sentence and deeply prayed that Clarke turned momentarily deaf. But the blonde's reaction says otherwise. Clarke looked up at her with a teary eyes, her lips slightly quivered. She hastily pursed her lips to prevent whatever was about to come out.

"Clarke... I'm sorry --"

"No, Lexa," cutting Lexa off. "You were right. I can't always think that you will always be there for me when I fall... I'm a grown up now. And I am always thankful for the times that you helped me. Really am. I just thought... it felt great to have someone care for you so much. I mean, sure Raven is always there for me, so as the rest. But I felt special when I knew that... YOU... care. But I got it. I understand." showing an 'OK' sign.

And with that Clarke took her leave, once again leaving Lexa, watching the Blonde walked away. She shut her eyes for a brief second to calm herself down. *sigh* should have controlled your emotions, Lexa. She mentally cursed herself knowing that her conscience were right. As always. They plodded down the trail in a deafening silence until they reached their bikes.

"We're heading back now guys. We have to be in a hurry though. It will get dark soon. Let's go," Anya informed as she rode of towards the shop houses.

Clarke grabbed her helmet and trailed behind the gang. Leaving Lexa with her thoughts.

\----------------------------------------------------------------

As they bid farewell to the guys, the girl's headed back to Octavia's car and flopped down to their seats.

"Anya switch place with me," Clarke suggested. Anya gave her a questioning look but didn't argued back.

She can't stand sitting beside Lexa any minute more, she needed to calm down. She needed to clear her head. It wasn't her fault that she's born clumsy but she already accepted that. Though she knew sometimes she can be a bit pushy or aggressive when approaching people, is that why Lexa loathed her? Clarke couldn't take anymore of this. She sagged back to her seat and ignored the look that Octavia was giving her. She closed her eyes and swiftly went into slumber.

"What's got into her?" As she scooted back with Lexa and Raven. Lexa shrugged her shoulders and sink back to her seat. Lexa couldn't help but dwell on their conversation with Clarke. Her emotions were all over the place and she's been bottling it up until it exploded. You have to apologise, Lexa. Its not her fault she's too clumsy. Say something... I know. She rubbed her forehead and heaved heavily. She thought of all the words to say to Clarke until sleep took over her thoughts.

"Girls wakey wakey! Let's have dinner I'm starving!"

Lexa squinted her eyes at Octavia, as she got out of the car. She stepped out and stretched her body. They were at In-N-Out Burger, she could really eat some cheese burger and fries, Lexa hummed.

They sat down the corner table, once they ordered and started digging in. Anya, O and Raven were chatting up about some guy. Lexa really couldn't catch on because her mind was all over Clarke. She glanced at Clarke who seemed to have all her attention on her burger.

"Lexa what do you think?" Raven asked excitedly.

"Sorry... About what?"

"Lincoln. Weren't you listening? Lincoln asked O out. Yay or nay?"

"Oh yeah. You definitely should go out with him," Lexa agreed. She thought everybody can see the spark on those two practically the whole day. She smiled encouragingly at Octavia and went back on her burger.

The girls continued to converse throughout dinner till Clarke spoke up.

"Guys, I have to go. I'm not feeling too well."

"Oh ok. Well let's go then. Are you ok? I'll send you home," Octavia offered as stands up.

"No. No. You guys stay. I'm just a few blocks away. I can walk myself out. No worries. I won't die out there. Psh!" Clarke half joking and waving down Octavia who started to argue back. Clarke just shook her head and stepped out to the cold night. And again, Lexa watched Clarke stalked away for don't know how many times on that day. Lexa felt a pang of guilt creeping up her chest. She gripped the side of the table till her hand hurts. I have to chase after her... You do that. So Lexa urgently stood up, alarming the girls.

"I... Have to go too guys. My dad's probably waiting for me at home. I'll see guys, Monday?" And with that Lexa hastily left the restaurant and frantically searching for the blonde. She turned towards Grounder's Street, walked straight ahead, walking pass the Grounder's Cafe. She could smell the coffee bean wafting in the air and it jerked her more awake. Where are you Clarke? Lexa had been running up and down the familiar street, the direction where she knew that Clarke usually takes when she heads home. Unfortunately, she doesn't know which one was her house, so pounding on the doorstep was out of the equation.

Lexa gave up after 30 minutes of frantic search. She's probably already home. She sighed heavily and wiped off the sweat forming on her forehead. As she walked back towards the In-N-Out restaurant to head the opposite direction towards her house, she heard a faint sob. Right beside the restaurant there was a small playground, she walked up and followed it. Among the benches, her gaze fell on a glistening blonde hair under the street light. She sobbed uncontrollably, Lexa felt a stab on her chest. Guilt was mocking her again. Oh Clarke... She walked up to her and handed her a tissue.

Clarke looked up with a puzzled look but was replaced by anger when her eyes fell on Lexa. She snapped her eyes away and promptly wiped away her tears with the back of her hands. What is she doing here now? Just this time I needed to be alone.

"I don't need tissue! Stop judging me!"

"Judging???...." Control your temper, Lexa. You're here to make amends. She pinched the bridge on her nose and exhaled.

Lexa started, "Clarke..."

Clarke laughed as if hearing her name uttered by the brunette was the most ridiculous thing she ever heard. She glared at Lexa as if she's some venomous snake trying to be tamed.

"Don't start with me, Lexa. I maybe clumsy. I may always be in trouble. But I accepted that. I know what I can and can't do. But you?" Standing up now and showing her full length in front of the brunette. Lexa was taken aback by the sudden outburst.

"You're a liar. You can't be honest with yourself. I know that you've been avoiding me ever since day one. But you denied that."

Stepping forward towards Lexa, the latter quickly stepped back. The fear started to show in her eyes.

"You think you're so brave. You think you don't need anybody..."

Another step forward.

Another step backward. Lexa was held against the lamp post still trying to fight back the stoic expression but her fear still evident in her eyes.

"You push everybody away. People who might actually start caring for you ---"

"Not everyone..." Lexa murmured staring at Clarke's eyes intensely. ".... Not you."

The blonde took a step back and for the first time, was lost at words.

"I DO CARE... Clarke," the brunette stammered to the blonde. Urging the blonde to understand.

"Then... If you care, Lexa. Then why push me away?" searching in the brunette's green eyes. "Trust me. Let. Me. In." she pleaded exasperatingly.

The brunette shook her head, "I can't do that... " She swallowed the lump in her throat. She could feel the sting in her eyes, tears starting to brim.

Clarke sighed defeated, "I'm done." she uttered, shaking her head in dismay. "I can't keep trying over and over again. I can't continuously force myself on someone, who don't even want me in. I tried to understand you, Lexa but you won't budge. I'm done..." Clarke gave Lexa another endearing gaze, in hope that she will speak for herself but the blonde found nothing. The blonde took a step back and silently walked away.   
For the third time on that day, Lexa watched Clarke walked out on her. And she felt heavier each time, as if another pound was added on her shoulder. The brunette leaned back on the lamp post and lifted her head to the sky, trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to come out. She pursed her lips and closed her eyes for a brief moment listening to the howling wind and the dropping temperature. She hugged herself tightly and walked out of the playground. You've never felt so alone, don't you... I know.


	5. The Tumbling Wall

It had been 2 weeks since their fight. The brunette can't comprehend how she even managed to get through a day without laying her eyes on Clarke. Everytime, she was in class she tried to pretend that the blonde does not exist. Though she knew deep inside her guilt is gnawing her alive. She knew all the tricks that the blonde have on her sleeves just to break Lexa's mini bubble. The blonde knew the words to say to make the brunette stumble to her feet. Actions and words that could somehow make the brunette believe that Maybe... just maybe, she could open her door for someone again. Lexa never felt so confused. So afraid. She trusted someone before but lost it. She cant do that. Not again.

She heard the voice again and again, and again and again felt the stab on her chest. For the past two weeks were her most miserable days more than she could admit. She tried to avoid Clarke wherever, as much as possible. When they walked past each other at the corridors, their eyes met and the pain on those blue eyes were still visible. Lexa would prevent eye contacts or physical touch from then on just to lessen the guilt that she was already carrying.

Octavia and Anya tried to question her what was happening. Why she's not talking to Clarke. Why they seemed to be avoiding each other. Obviously, Lexa gave them the look and the two girls knew what it means. The 'No questions ask' look. After days of interrogations the girls finally gave up and carried on with the tension wafting in the air. Lexa and Clarke still hangs around with the group but still pretended that nothing is wrong. The girls really couldnt take it anymore.

"We have to do something. SOMETHING! This silence is killing me!" Raven dragged on deperately.

Neither did Lexa nor Clarke knew that the other girls were also suffering from their silent war.

"We better do! Did you see Lexa's reaction when she made a suggestion for the next trip and Clarke just walked off like no ones business. Oh gosh..." Anya shook head in dismay and sighed.

"Or how Clarke bought us drinks and Lexa ignored her when she was handing her, her drink. She didnt even touched it or looked at it. It was intense. The look on Clarke's eyes... She looked so defeated. Damn," Raven mentioned as she covered her face and sighed along with Anya.

"Guys! We have definitely have to do something. We cant let this go on any much longer. We may not know what is really going on but as their friends we have to let them know that they're not the only one who was suffering from this... This... Stupid little war of theirs. We need to hatch a plan," Octavia pounded her fist on the canteen table, along with the two girls nodding in agreement. They started shooting suggestions and finally came up with a perfect plan.

\---------------------------------------

The girls were sitting by the quad waiting for their afternoon classes. Lexa was reading up her dad's business portfolio on her laptop and grunted uninterestingly. She still obliged to do her duty as the heiress of the supply chain that Gustus had started. Lexa loves her dad dearly and Its the only thing she thinks that she could give back to her dad. The brunette checked on the employee's file, financial background and so forth. Its good to know the background so when she's about to start her internship in a week time, she will have enough information to get around.

Lexa shuts her laptop down and leaned against Octavia who was texting furiously on her phone.

"You ok?" Without looking at Lexa.

"Yeah. You know dad. Business. All those shenanigans,"

"Tough love."

"Tell me about it," Lexa closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

"Guys! Lex! Wake up! I want you guys to meet someone," Raven beamed at them as she approached, tugging along a girl. A girl that Lexa has never met or seen before. She's very attractive. Her slim and friendly face emits a sense of security. Her smile was radiant and welcoming. Lexa found herself smiling.

"This is Costia, my cousin. She's going to be in our class for Business management module and I believe she will be doing her internship at the same time as us," looking at the new girl, making sure that she right and the girl nodded in assurance.

"Hi! Im Anya. Nice to meet you," she shook the new girl's hand and smiled warmly.

Octavia introduced herself next and hugged Costia. The new girl was startled. She laughed at her reaction and mumbled words that Lexa couldnt hear.

"Lexa... Earth to Lexa!" Raven snapped her fingers infront of her face. The brunette found herself staring at the new girl.

"Sorry...uumm. Im lexa. Its nice to meet you," she nodded and shook the new girls hand. The girls settled down infront of them and chatted up for awhile until the bell rang.

Lexa stood up, and gathered her belongings while trying to ignore the thoughts that kept bugging her. Where's Clarke? Is she coming to class? the brunette tried to erase the thoughts away by chatting up with Costia. Who turned out to be a theater actress herself before she went to college. Lexa never felt so relieved to finally met someone who had the same taste and experience in art like herself. What about Clarke? She's into art too right? Lexa cringed at the thought of it and tried to shut it down before it goes any further.

\-------------------------------------

The day went on as usual but with a little entertainment. Lexa snickered at the side comments of Costia at Mr Drone-bot. And yes, they named their lecturer that. Lexa tried her best to be "present" consciously despite the bugging thoughts of wonder where Clarke could be. But the brunette cant take it anymore, she turned around and asked Raven during their break.

"Hey Rae, where's Clarke?" She asked trying to be uninterested though its eating her inside.

"Oh she texted me before class. She said she have to do something. I dont know...," Raven shrugged and continued eating her pasta. Lexa nodded and turned her attention to Costia who was telling her stories back when she was a kid. Raven gave Costia a glare when she mentioned how Raven got her front tooth chucked out. Apperantly, Raven was swinging from a tree branch and accidentally lost her grip and came kissing the ground. In the process, she ran home with two missing front teeth and a bleeding mouth. Costia followed her cousin back home and explained everything to her mom while trying to clean up the crying Raven.

Costia tried to mimick how Raven used to speak her S's with an 'TH'.

"CoTHtia give me back my iTHe-cream! CoTHtia! Look Im a walruTH!"

Lexa laughed till her eyes stung. She could see Raven turning beet red, took her plastic spoon and threw it at Costia who easily dodged it. Costia stuck out her tongue and laughed at Raven. Anya, Octavia and Lexa laughed even more louder attracting attention from other tables.

Lexa never laughed this hard in such a long time. She mentally thanked the new girl for making her smile and laugh, and somehow forget about Clarke for a moment.

For the next few days, she stuck around with Costia because of the very same reason. Costia was eccentric and her smiles were very contagious. She loves how entertaining she can get and started not to mind the stares she get whenever Costia and her were in public. Lexa looked at Costia and grinned at her widely. They found themselves unconsciously staring at each other for a moment when her conscience decided to speak up. What about Clarke? What about her?

Lexa tore away from the gaze and winced silently. She decided to look some place else before Costia catch up with that.

"We should go," looking back at Costia, who seemed to be distracted.

"Ok," she stood up along with Lexa. As they sauntered back along the tall grasses of the park towards Costia's car,"Wait...Lexa." The new girl grabbed Lexa's wrist and turned her around. Lexa was astounded by the action. She looked at Costia questionly.

"What happened back there? Why... Did you... Winced?" Costia asked carefully, not feeling sure how will the brunette take on personal questions. "If I ever made you uncomfortable you have to tell me."

Lexa gave a stoic face and looked staight to her eyes and said,

"Its nothing, Costia. Im just tired its been a long day," giving the girl a yawn and squinting her eyes to make it believable. The latter seemed to fall for it and nodded towards the car.

\------------------------------------

"Girls! I have tickets! Lets get this plan started!" Octavia sang, flinging a pair ticket.

"Oh finally! I thought were not gonna pull through this plan," Anya puffed.

"Give me one and I'll be on my way," Raven snatched one ticket and winked at O.

"Well, let's hope for the best!" O clapped her hands together and nodded.

"Of we go ladies."

\----------------------------------------

"Lex, Ive. Got. The. Ticket!" Octavia and Lexa screamed at the top of their lungs like little girls. Flinging their arms in the air.

"Omg O! Youre amazing! No. Youre dad is amazing!" As she took the ticket and examined it. The brunette couldnt help but grinned widely, gripping the ticket as if it was made out of gold.

Lexa dived in of a bear hug and needless to say Lexa doesnt mind at all. Somehow shes used to O's bear hugs and reciprocating it sometimes wouldnt hurt.

"Well what can we do. Were amazing," Octavia ranted and giggled when thr brunette gave her a look.

"So you have to be at the Sky theatre at 7pm sharp! Do not be late," Octavia said sternly.

Lexa waved her off, "of course ill be there I wouldnt miss this for the world. Plus when was I ever late?" Lexa rubutted back sarcastically.

Octavia shot her eyebrow up and tsk-ed at Lexa. That made the brunette stifled a giggle.

"Just dont be late. We will see you there. Copy?"

"Yes mam! Thank you again," The two girls nodded at each other, as Octavia made her exit from Lexa's porch.

\-----------------------------------------

At 6.30pm, Lexa stepped out of her threshold and walked her way towards the subway. Typing away on her phone, informing the others thats shes on her way.

The brunette stormed out of the subway, feeling excited of what she was about to watch. Finally, after being on a long gruesome waiting list, at last, she got a hold of it. Lion King The movie had been Lexa's favourite childhood movie of all time. It was timeless and the brunette missed the feeling of nostalgia. And when she heard that their going to make it into a play and touring around the US, Lexa jumped right in to book her tickets. Unfortunately, at the city of Capitol it was all sold out and she was then stuck on a longwaiting list for weeks for last minute tickets.

Fortunately for her, after hearing her whining about it with the girls for weeks, Octavia's dad managed to scoop out couple of tickets. Being all strong and mighty, her dad provides things for Octavia and Bellamy with the things that they need and want. Octavia said its his way to payback due to his constant absence as a father. Lexa completely understands that cause shes been going through the same.

Lexa finally reached the entrance and surveyed the throngs of people entering the theatre. The girls were nowhere to be seen, it was already 6.50pm. She forked out her phone and dialed Octavia's number but went straight to the voice mail. Same as Anya and Raven. Her thumb hovered on Clarke's number but beat her mind to it. She shoved her phone back to her pocket and roamed around looking for them.

It was already 7pm and she still couldnt find them. She sent texts and missed calls but none replied. The ushers were already calling out for final seating, Lexa was getting agitated so she decided to head inside first and wait for them. She scanned the rows and looked for her seat number.

When shes finally settled down, she checked her phone and sent in more texts and missed calls to the girls. Lexa shook her head in irritation because of her friend's late arrival. The lights slowly dimmed around the theatre and the narrator started talking. The curtains were slowly reeling away and the actors started to dance around the stage with the opening theme song.

The brunette started to forget about the girls , as she enticingly watched the actors singing and pouncing around the stage. She felt herself smile from ear to ear and enjoying every bit of it.

"Oh sorry... Im really sorry... Sorry,"

The brunette felt the seat beside her squeaked but she didnt bother to look up. The scene now was when Scar was talking to Simba about his father and the pride lands. When she heard it, the most annoying thing you could ever hear when watching a theatre play. Lexa whipped her head towards the sound with a scowl plastered on her face. Unfortunately, the seats were too dark to see the person beside her. She elbowed the snoring person beside her and felt the person's seat squeaked even louder. The person sat up straight and rubbed her eyes.

"Sorry..." In a whisper.

Lexa tsk-ed and shook her head in disappointment. How can people just sleep their ticket away on a perfectly good play? Lexa glanced at the faceless person and realized its a figure of a girl. She sighed and sink back to her seat and focused back to the show.

The narrator announced that they will be having a short break and will be back soon.

"Great!" Lexa flung her hands up and rubbed her forehead. She missed a perfect 10 minutes because of the faceless girl.

She squinted her eyes, trying to adjust on the sudden burst of light within the vicinity. Finally, she could confront the girl. She have words for her that may not be pleasant to hear. She turned to her right and came face to face with non other than...

"Clarke..." She grasped. She stared at the blonde unconsciously. She felt her stomach dropped. Her heart started to pound in her ears.

The blonde stared back at her in bewilderement.

"Hey Lex..."

Looking at her in confusion. As if Lexa wasnt expecting her to come. She cleared her throat to break the stare that the brunette was giving her.

"Great show huh." Nodding at the stage. Lexa swiftly turned her head towards the empty stage and audibly mumbled.

"Yeah... The greatest movie of all time. My favorite childhood movie... I remember back when I was a little girl. My mom brought me to the cinema to watch the premier. So many children..." The brunette chuckled and shook her head smiling away.

"It was the greatest day I had... It was also... the last day that I get to spend with my mom. Before she...,"

The brunette stood quiet for a moment. Looked straight ahead. Her brows furrowed, her eyes stinging she could feel her eyes brimming. The tears were threatening to come out until it finally broke. Lexa quickly wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

Lexa felt a warm weight on her shoulder. She grew tensed but slowly eased as she submerged herself on the reassuring grip from the other girl. She chuckled sadly and sighed.

"We were so complete you know. My dad was still busy back then but he always make time. I guess he was scared of my mom," she chuckled with forlorn, making the blonde's chest gripped harder.

"If your daughter and I dont see you everyday, then you wouldnt have a wife... Or a child no more." Lexa mimicking her mother, Indra's voice. "We hardly see him. It could go on for months without seing him. My mom cant take it anymore thats what made her said those words... From that day on my father tried his best to go home every single day, despite his busy schedule or his constant flying. Without a fail my mother will call my dad to remind him. My mom said he tends to keep things on himself. Because of his past as an adoptive child. Moving foster to foster," Lexa sinked on and sighed wearily. Clarke thought that shes gonna stop talking, the blonde took her hands and placed it on the top of the brunette's cold bony hand.

Lexa was startled by the action and immediately withdrawn her hand away.

"Sorry...," the blonde whispered. "Please continue," she urged looking at those green eyes, the blonde smiled reassuringly.

Lexa felt a sense of comfort. A feeling of being safe. She never felt to have the urge to tell someone whatever is on her mind. Those blue eyes staring back at her made her feel exactly all those mixed emotions. That sometimes can make Lexa go haywire and wanting to punch somebody. Just to relieve herself.

"Then one night, my dad called in and asked for my mom to pick him up from the airport. My mom immediately jumped to her car and rode off. My mom was so happy. Knowing my dad he never asked for any favour at all. But small gestures like this always ALWAYS brought smiles on her face. I remember she came in to my room and told me shes going to pick up my dad. Her smile was blinding," Lexa rubbed her forehead and wrinkled her face.

With her eyes closed, she continued,"she left after she pecked me on mycheeks and said I love you, my little Heda. A nickname she used to call me. My little commander... That was the last time I saw her." The brunette was now hunched down on her seat. Her shoulders started to shake and slowly the blonde could hear the stifling sob.

"Lexa...," Clarke tried to search for the girl's gaze but the latter kept turning away. She gripped both of her hands on Lexa's shoulder and turned her towards herself. Lexas faced was covered with her thick frizzy brown hair, Clarke shoved it aside and took hold of Lexa's face. She gingerly wiped away the girls tears with her thumb and hushed her quietly.

"Its ok. Sshh...," the brunette hesitantly buried her face on the blondes neck. She sobbed uncontrollably, tightening her grip on the girls sides. She felt so lost. So weak. So scared. She shouldnt have opened that case. Cause she knew THIS will happen. But what she never expected was how easy it was with Clarke. How she never felt forced or obligated to do so. She knew from the start that those eyes were trouble.

Clarke rubbed her back soothingly. She felt Goosebumps crawling up her back and she doesnt mind. She buried deeply on the crooked of the blondes neck and ring her arms around the girls body. She sagged in deeper, tightening her embrace. Lexa can now hear the girl humming an unfamiliar but gentle tune. She once again squeezed tighter and the blonde returned the squeeze.

"I will always be here. Remember that," Clarke whispered on the brunettes ear and peck her on the cheek.

Lexa nodded and grimaced at the kiss. Her heart started to pound even more harder. She could feel jitters underneath her skin. But all of those were intensified when Clarke hugged her again and even tighter.

Maybe it was the sudden out burst of her past. Maybe it was her bottled up emotions Hissing to come out. Maybe its those eyes. Whatever it is Lexa already gave up. She let her walls down. And to be honest it was the best feeling that she ever felt till Indra died. She never would have hoped that this will happen. That Lexa would find someone that could easily make her spill her beans. Even when Echo came to her life, nothing could ever compare of what she was feeling right now. Lexa doesnt know if she should be happy because finally she have someone to share her deepest thoughts. Or be afraid because she might lose that trust again, feel heart broken and start building herself even higher wall.

She doesnt know what her answer is. But being with Clarke she doesnt have to decide because it always comes easy.


	6. The Word Is "Yes"

Lexa spent the rest of the show leaning against Clarke. The blonde started feel her shoulder getting lighter and slowly hearing the sob fading away. She diverted her gaze to the brunette on her shoulder, as their eyes met.

"Feeling better now?" Clarke smiled affectionately nudging Lexa's head. The latter nodded with a furrowed brows avoiding Clarke's eyes. Clarke crinkled her nose looking at the brunette longer than she should. *sigh* What can I do to make her feel better? She closed her eyes for a moment and leaned in nestling on the girl's head. What can I do, Lexa? Somehow, I understand you. Thank you for opening the door for me even if its just a crack.

The blonde took a deep breath, opened her eyes and found it drifting to Lexa's lips for a brief second. She thought for one second how it feels like touching those lips again. She remembered the jolt and eager sensation she felt back at the hike. Clarke mentally slapped herself as she shudders at the thought of it. She swiftly diverted her attention back to the stage. Despite the constant battle inside her head to ignore the fluttering emotions bubbling up in her stomach, Clarke still managed to calibrate her thoughts away.

\------------------------------------

Moments later Clarke couldn't manoeuvre her thoughts away from the girl, she couldn't help but wonder what Lexa was like. She knew that she was close, that even O or Anya barely knew anything. They barely scratched the surface even. But still she smiled reminiscing, that 15 minutes ago Lexa poured her heart out to her. Without even asking. She knew how hard it must been for Lexa to even utter her past. But hearing those words made Clarke realised how vulnerable she can be. More than what she shows to people. More than the usual stoic face. Theres definitely more into her than meets the eye.

\-------------------------------------  
Every time the brunette scooted closer to her neck, she hitched a breath. She feels her heart pounding on her chest. Butterflies starting to erupt. She closes her eyes she could see her lips behind lids. Clarke felt so confused and uncomfortable by these feelings. But she doesnt want to let the brunette down by putting her feelings first than what the girl was going through. Clarke tried to relax and gently rest her head on the top of the girl's frizzy hair. Lexa tightened her grip on Clarke's left arm, simultaneously making the blonde grip the arm rest on her right tighter. She doesn't know what this feeling means but shoving it away seems like a pretty good idea.

\-------------------------------------

When the show ended, the girls stepped out to the cold night. Standing awkwardly in front of the theatre, Lexa shuffled her feet looking at the ground.

"Do you--"

"I guess--"

Both girls looked up and chuckled. Lexa bit her lips as she felt her cheeks warmed up.

"Please do. You go ahead." Nodding at the blonde.

The blonde chuckled and smirked.

"I guess we got stood up. Tsk."

"Guess so. Voice mail?"

"Voice mail,"

The two girls giggled some more and looked away awkwardly. Clarke glanced at Lexa and felt her heart skipped a beat. She marvelled how the brunette looked stunningly beautiful tonight. She could see how those green eyes were less guarded, there's more serenity shining to it... Aaaand it is now watching her carefully.

"You're staring, Clarke," Lexa smirked raising her eyebrow at the girl.

"You looked stunning tonight, Lexa," commented Clarke as a matter of fact.

Lexa felt a bubbling sensation building up in her stomach. She inhaled deeply and smiled teasingly at Clarke.

"Not bad yourself," she teased back.

Both girls stared at each other wide eyed and burst out laughing. Lexa was surprised how genuine her laugh was.

Looking at the blonde, she shifted her weight from one foot to another.

"Hey... wanna grab something to eat?" She asked hesitantly. Wondering if the girl is still willing to spend more time with her alone after the drama she put her up to. She had never told anyone about her parents before, not even Echo, which was partially the reason they never worked out. Lexa just doesn't feel right every time she started/tried to tell her about her past. Something was stopping her but with Clarke... it was like breathing.

The brunette rubbed the back of her neck flashing a smile and looking at her apprehensively.

Clarke was surprised by the offer, she searched the girls eyes if she was sure, if she was forced to it but the blonde only saw a genuine smile. It never came across her mind that Lexa, the closed off girl. The person who chased her away. The girl who avoided her for the past month. Literally, asked her for dinner but then again an hour ago the brunette spilt her beans. The blonde stood dumbfounded by all the happenings. This could be it. This is the only chance I could get.

"Yes!" she nodded aggressively grinning back almost too excitedly. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Yes, lead the way." With more calmer and settled tone.

She gestured for Lexa as she tailed behind smiling goofily to herself. She shook her head imagining how this day turned out. She mentally took note to thank Octavia for the tickets.

\--------------------------------

They walked side by side, brushing hands from time to time. Cold March breeze passing through their hair making it flap behind them as they walk along the dimly lit sidewalk. Lexa shuddered from the wind and wrapped her arm around her shivering body. Clarke peeked at her and grasped that she was only wearing a grey V-neck shirt. She shimmied out of her leather jacket and offered it to Lexa.

"Oh no. Im fine," she smiled as she pushed the jacket away.

"You're going to catch a cold, Lexa," looking at her sternly. "Plus, Im wearing a hoody. I'll survive,"

Lexa nodded and gingerly wore the jacket over her shoulders. She embraced the warmth it emits, taking a deep breath inhaling the strong scent of Lilac. She smiled briefly and glanced at Clarke at the corner of her eye. The girl was smiling, humming the familiar song that she heard before. She always wondered what that song was but never have the guts to ask Clarke personally... and also due to their past encounters with each other. Lexa rubbed her forehead and tsk-ed. I really need to make amends. She shook her head in dismay and sighed.

\---------------------------------

They arrived at the Grounder's Cafe and was ushered down to one of the booth beside the window. The girls placed their orders and waited patiently for their food. The silence between them was growing immensely. The constant flickering of eyes. The openly exchange of smirks at each other. Clarke couldn't take the silence anymore.

"So... Great weather we're having today huh?" Striking up a conversation. Neat. Very neat, Clarke. The blonde mentally kicked herself at the lame ice breaker.

"Seriously, Clarke? Is that how you start a conversation?" Lexa giggled at the cliché conversation start.

"What? At least its something," she retorted back glaring at the giggling girl. "You wont even start a conversation." Scowling at her.

"Okay. Yes, Clarke. It is indeed a very pleasant weather," smirking at the blonde.

Clarke rolled her eyes and shook her head at the progress that their making. She placed her chin over her propped up palm, while observing the girl.

"What are you like?" She asked curiously.

Lexa raised her eyebrow and eyed Clarke carefully. What is she asking? What am I like? I'm human?...

"Hmmm?"

"What are you like? Are you into sports? Do you like red or blue? In your opinion, is the dress really blue black or white gold? You know, Random stuff about you."

"Oh...," the girl pondered for a moment. "Yes. Blue...And the dress is definitely blue black," she smiled sweetly as if achieving a very difficult answer.

Clarke snorted, "You're beating around the bush, Lexa."

Lexa huffed and the determination on the girl's face was back, You have to do this, Lex. You've done it before. She furrows her brows, "I do love hiking... especially in the woods. My dad and I used to trek around and watch the animals at their habitats... We used to go down at this lake somewhere near the Capitol border, the view was magnificent! Of course that was way before my mom died and my dad... You know..." The brunette pursed her lips at how she was babbling on. How it was easy to let go what was inside her head. It always seems like she was hypnotised. She looked at those blue eyes and sighed.

Clarke reached out and grabbed Lexa's tingling hand.

"Hey... Look at me," but the girl avoided her gaze. The blonde took her chin in her hand and turned her face so that she's facing her. She looked at the brunette earnestly with a tinge of sympathy.

"You're doing great," she mumbled, smiling encouragingly. Lexa nodded. I want to do this... For you...Clarke. She mentally answered back to Clarke. She willingly continued her story hoping for the best.

\---------------------------------

4 hours later

The blonde threw her head back laughing till her stomach cramped. While Lexa wiping her eyes from her brimming tears. She giggled some more until both of them calmed down. Lexa felt nostalgic at the moment, remembering how she used to love the girl's company before all the drama happened. She sighed and observed the girl who relentlessly babbling on about her childhood. She propped her chin over her palm and briefly glanced at her watch.

"Holy crap! Its past midnight! We've been here for 4 hours, Clarke," she informed alarmingly.

Clarke furrowed her eyebrows,"Im.. I'm so sorry Lexa. I didn't realised what time it was. You should head home, your dad must be worried sake," as she stood up, she forked out few dollar bills and placed it at the table.

Lexa followed, reluctantly checking her phone because she knows its going to be flooded. She grimaced at the 7 missed calls and 12 messages. She speed dial Gustus and carefully placed it on her ears as she got herself ready for the scolding.

"Dad! Im sorry... Yes Im sorry dad... Yes.... Yes... Im safe don't worry I have Clarke with me..."

She eyed the girl who was looking more petrified than worried. Her group of friends knew how strict and... Frightening Gustus was. So as much as possible they tried to comply to the rules and regulations given to the brunette.

"Im coming home now... Ok. I love you too. Bye,"

Lexa pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled loudly.

"What?! What did your dad say?!" She questioned Lexa with worried wide eyes piercing through her. I wanna live. Im too young to die. Octavia and Anya's stories cant be true right? Lexa's dad wouldn't have me... No! I have to face this. Face your fears, Clarke... Even if its your friend's... Heinous and grisly... Dad. He will be the death of me.

Lexa shook her head in dismay and pouted.

"No... NO! I wanna live, Lexa. Im too young to be hanging upside down from a tree! NO!" Pointing her index finger at the worried girl. Without hesitation, Clarke grabbed Lexa's wrist and sprinted towards the girl's street.

Lexa tried to pry her hand away from Clarke but the blonde was too strong. Her heart was pounding in her ears. She's running out of breath. She tried to speak but no voice came out besides from her continues heavy panting.

"Clarke... Hold on!... Stop!"

But Clarke didn't hear anything. She just continued running for their dear lives. Nope. Theres no way Im gonna be the coyotes little dinner. Theres no way in the world am I going to be dragged away against my own will. Im going to face her dad and explain carefully, in details what happened. Plus, we didn't do anything wrong. We just talked...for hours. Clarke cleared her head from her pandemonium state. I didn't even realised we took that long. I guess time really does fly when you're having fun. She mentally smiled at the mere thought of it. How for the first time that she bonded with Lexa in a more civil way. Not being stuck in an elevator or random room or whatever. She could see that Lexa was really trying hard. The determination on the brunette's face when she was about to start a new story. How she would stare at a distance while talking. How she would smile randomly. The way she furrowed her brows when thinking about something. When she rubbed her forehead when tackling something unbeatable. Clarke finds it all unbelievably... alluring. So peaceful. So composed. She couldn't help but feel proud because she gets to see this side of Lexa. Which no one had seen before... she hoped.

\----------------------------------

She looked at the panic-stricken girl being dragged behind her.

"You don't have to do this, Clarke," Lexa comprehends still trying to pull from Clarke's grip. Which made Lexa quite surprise, for such a small girl she have an iron grip.

"I do, Lexa," returning her vision back to the tall large gate automatically opening as they approached. This is it Clarke. No backing out now. For the first time I will see Lexa's legendary father. The guy who had been all over newspapers and televisions. The guy who made thousands of employees loathed him faster than the speed of light. The guy with a razor-sharp tongue that could slash the life out of you. Clarke gritted her teeth and puffed a breath.

As they approached the front door, Clarke shakily pressed the door bell, realising her iron grip from Lexa's wrist. Who carefully rubbed it wincing by the pain.

"Clarke..." pulling the blonde aside, "You don't have to do this. My dad can be a bit... intimidating." She begged profusely.

"No, Lexa. I'm with you, your father already made it clear with me and the rest with the rules and regulations, so its partially I'm at fault because I didn't paid much attention to the time. I'll be fine." Slowly trying to convince Lexa but deep inside her internal organs were panicking all over the place.

"Clarke! Don't be ridiculous! This is imbecile! I can handle my dad on my own--"

The front door swung open and there stood a big buffy man, with long beard snaking around his chin in a big red robe. His eyes were blazing with anger and his nostrils were flaring with smoke. He's clenching his fist from time to time.

"Alexandria Heda! What time is it?" he demanded. His cheeks turning red like his expensive robe.

Clarke thought her knees were made of jelly. She could feel it failing her. The booming sound of the man's voice shook every single nerve in her body. Her hair all stood up as his eyes slowly and menacingly glared at her direction. All she could think about was how she wished the ground could swallow her up right at that moment. Her sweat were rolling down her furrowed eyebrows which made the girl wonder is it because of the running or the tormenting stare coming from the buffy man. Clarke swallowed the lump on her throat and cleared it.

"Good eve--...Goodmorning, sir." stuttering in her words, "My name is Clarke, one Lexa's... friends. Ummm... I deeply apologise... for... for bringing Lexa home late. I will accept whatever punishment in store for me with open mind and open heart... I will accept it." she nodded with determination. She pursed her lips trying not to let out a whimper.

Lexa stared at her in horror. "Clarke..." shrugging her but to no avail.

Gustus snorted, "Very well... Follow me."

"Dad!" shouted Lexa desperately.

"Alexandria!" Gustus bellowed making the girl shut her mouth and followed the pair inside the big mansion.

Is this the end of me? Who's gonna find my body? Is he gonna bury me behind their backyard? Lock me up in a closet filled with skeletons? Oh dear Lord, please help me. Why did I made this decision?! If tonight is my last night, please make it fast and painless.

"Stay there!" Gustus ordered with a very husky voice that made Clarke's skin crawl.

Clarke stood rooted in the middle of a pitch dark room. She barely sees anything but hears the other girl's shuffling feet inches away. She ignored the constant cry of Lexa calling her name to not to go. How can she not? If Lexa can ignore her father, I can't! It's disrespectful... Is this where he brings his victims? Is this where he tortures them? What he is going to do to me? I have to get out of this chamber cell! Clarke could feel another set of perspiration forming on her hairline. Despite, the strong gush of wind infiltrating the unknown dark room. She clenched and unclenched her fist trying to stay calm.

She started to feel slightly calmer until she heard the dragging of a wooden stool and the heavy steps of the buffy man. Her whole body tensed up, she become more alert of which direction it could be coming from. The sound stopped right in front of her and there stood the shadow of a man, sitting down on the stool reaching for her. She closed her eyes tightly, gripping her pants until her knuckles turn white, she clenched her jaw anticipating what was coming from her. A whimper betrayed her as it escapes from her shut-tight mouth.

Unexpectedly, her closed eye lids were drowned by beaming light. Clarke slowly squinted from the source and gawked at the sight. They were at the kitchen, the long island was on her left with a hanging lamp from the ceiling, flooding light surrounding its place. More than Clarke could admit, she was a bit more calmer and hopeful. It's a kitchen. It's just a kitchen, Clarke. The blonde scanned the room under the dimly lit kitchen counter, screening for weapons she can use to protect herself from the man in front of her. The roller pin, smack him hard on the groin and hit him twice on the head. That's gotta give him a concussion! Knife! Dang it! Where is their bloody knife? It was nowhere to be seen. The long stretch kitchen counter was completely neat and clean. Everything was stowed away except for the wooden stool inches from her. Clarke's hands were twitching to get her hands on those life-savers.

"Clarke!" Gustus spatted out. Staring at her with those tantalising green eyes. Green eyes just like Lexa. For one second, she thought she could found serenity in it. But for some obvious reason, she can't.

"What are your intentions for my daughter? Hmm?" Gustus glowered at Clarke. Leering at her questionably.

"I...Uuumm..." Clarke stammered hard searching for her voice, or rather words.

"DAD! Stop it!" hollered by a girl who was slowly emerging from the shadows. A terrified Lexa, slowly faced her dad begging him to stop scaring Clarke. This can't be happening again. Not to Clarke. Not after Echo. Lexa stood rooted to her ground, not budging.

"No, Alexandria. Please, step aside. Clarke and I are talking. Please, be respectful to our guest," Lexa felt so defeated and lost, how can she salvage Clarke from this uneventful happening. She could see the trauma in the blonde's eyes. Lexa sighed heavily stepped aside and silently prayed, hoping Clarke could get through this. This is partially the reason why she's so closed guarded.

"Where was I? Oh right. I am gonna ask you again, Clarke. What are your intention for my daughter?"

Clarke clenched her fists hard till it hurts. She stared hard at Gustus and answered carefully.

"Like I said, sir. I'm Lexa's friend. We hang around... with our friends. We're classmates---"

Gustus raised his hands to stop Clarke. Oh no. Bad sign, Clarke. Bad sign! Run for your life!

"You're not answering my question, Clarke! What. Are. You're. Intention. With. My. Girl?"

Clarke could feel the howling wind was even colder now or maybe it was because of the cold stares emitting from the buffy man. Every single words that came out of Gustus burly mouth was like a shooting arrow towards Clarke's chests. She could feel her lungs failing her. The blonde shut her eyes, took one final breath and answered what was in her mind the entire time ever since she met Lexa.

"I want to get to know her, sir!"

Without opening her eyes, she could hear Gustus cursing under his breath.

"So you want to date my girl?! Yes or no?!" Gustus boomed right to Clarke's face. She could feel his heavy breathing on her face with a tinge of fresh tobacco emanating. Clarke's head gone to a total black out. Her chest was pounding so hard in her ears that she hardly hear Gustus and her surroundings.

"YES!" the blonde cried out, with tears prickling down her closed lids. 'Yes' for what, Clarke? What did I said 'Yes' to?... I don't know. That's the first word that popped out of my head. Oh dear Lord. "Yes..." she repeated but more to a whisper.

\----------------------------------------------------

Clarke had completely blanked out. Lexa gripped her pants tightly watching the entire interrogation from the sideline. She feels so defeated and useless, she can't do anything to help the blonde get out of the situation.

"So you want to date my girl?! Yes or no?!" Lexa tensed up by the question. Does her dad knows? Does he knows what about Clarke? Lexa shoo-ed the thought away because it was impossible for him to know. There's no way for him to know about the blonde.

Gustus had stood up from the stool and glowered directly to Clarke's face.

"Dad NO!" Lexa urgently closed the distance between her and Gustus, pulling him away from Clarke. But Gustus was thousand pounds stronger and heavier than her, so it didn't helped at all.

Lexa was shaking with fear for the blonde, she wanted to reach out and steal her away from all of this. How she wish it was that easy. But she knew better, Gustus will get his people to find them with a snap of a finger. The brunette shook her head in anger and frustration to her Father, to what he was doing to the poor girl, to the questions that scares the living hell in Clarke. But Lexa was surprised how Clarke was taking it, based on her experience no one has ever stayed that long not wetting their pants or dropping to their knees bawling their eyes out or simply running away. And all of these people are the one who took interest on Lexa in a romanic venture, male or female, but none of them came out alive. The last person who had the very same plight was Echo. Lexa shook her head at the memory trying to burst the bubble of that thought away.

"YES!" the blonde whimpered, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her hunched body shaking from fear. Lexa whipped her head towards Clarke. Feeling unsure of what she heard or she thought she heard. But then she heard it again much quieter now.

"Yes..."

Lexa don't know how to react, or say or feel. But the bubbling sensation in her stomach was back again. She felt like a thousand pound of boulders were lifted off her back. She was unsure if she should smile, because of what Clarke had said. But her worried stricken face remained because she knows its inappropriate to take advantage of the blonde's answer and use it for her own indulgence. How she hoped it was true. Every. Single. Part. Of. It. All of Clarke's answers but she knew better, Clarke was only taken by emotions to answer her father. But still deep inside she smiled by the thought of it. Even the possibilities.

\---------------------------------------

Clarke still have her eyes shut. Calm down, Clarke. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. There was a moment of silence. The only thing she could here was the hammering of the wind against the window pane. The smell of tobacco was out from her personal space. The blonde let out a shaky breath and feel her blood draining out of her face. Is the monster gone? With still eyes closed, she furrowed her brows still trying to comprehend what was the actual question that she answered, "Yes" to. She tried to block out her feelings and her thoughts and let everything rewinded itself.

"So you want to date my girl?! Yes or no?!"

Oh Gosh... That's the most stupidest thing you have ever done, Clarke. What will Gustus thinks of you! WHAT WILL LEXA THINK OF YOU. She really hoped an earthquake would swallow her up to the sky and never bring her down again. Or she instantly turned mute, that she was just mouthing her words and no sound coming out of it. She mentally cursed herself on her stupid answer. She winced and clenched her jaw still not opening her eyes. Weirdly enough, the more Clarke thought about it, the more calmer she feels. Putting aside her strong emotions of fear, somehow, the answer felt... right. As if YES that was what she wanted to do. YES I want to see her more than a friend. But she resigned the thoughts of it, because she knows that its not going to happen. Just by the mere thought of Lexa evading her as if she was a disease and chasing her away like some unwanted puppy, was already enough to set her head straight.

She slowly squinted her eyes to adjust to the brightness and to the people in front of her. Who seemed to be gaping at her and the other one was still staring at her menacingly. Gustus stepped a foot towards her and scowled at her threateningly.

"If you EVER hurt my little Heda. You're going to get it from me," Gustus pointed at her with his sturdy fingers. "I will find you. And once I do, you're..." he pointed his thumb out sideways and slashed it across his bulky neck. Clarke widened her eyes in horror and nodded aggressively.

"Daaadd... We're just friends... I'm the one who asked her out for dinner...It's my fault--," Gustus waved her off.

"Do I get myself clear?" staring down at Clarke.

"Ye...Yes, sir!" nodding again ignoring the cramp on her neck that seemed to built up throughout the day.

"Very well... Alexandria, to bed in 10 minutes!" Gustus ordered, leaving with a huff while cursing under his breath about teenagers nowadays.

\---------------------------------------------

Clarke collapsed to the nearest stool panting hard as she had ever been. I can't believe I just got through that.

"I can't believe you just got through that! Nobody does!" as the brunette steadied the frail blonde on the top of the stool. She sprinted for a cup of water and handed it over to Clarke who without hesitation gulped it down in one go. Clarke was heaving heavily as she wiped away her tears at the back of her hands.

"I'm really sorry, Clarke. You have to go through that. I'm really really sorry. I told you you shouldn't have gone," Lexa apologises countless times to Clarke. But Clarke just waved her off still not speaking.

"Clarke, talk to me. Don't scare me. I don't know if my dad got your tongue slashed out just now. Say something!" Clarke gave her a look, Lexa flared her nostril waiting impatiently for the blonde to speak.

"It's ok...I'm ok..." Finally finding her voice after a much traumatic event, "it was worth it."

Clarke smiled at Lexa who seemed to have gone down deep the burrow.

"What do you mean...," Lexa can't finish her sentence because there was no doubt in Clarke's eyes but pure sincerity. The brunette felt her chest exploded with thousands of butterflies that are now flying about in her stomach. It was worth it... She said it was worth it... What does she means by that?... Don't over think yourself, Lexa. It must have meant something else.

"Alexandria!"

Lexa closed her eyes in annoyance maybe because of what her dad did or maybe her wondering thoughts when Clarke said, "Yes" or... Maybe when Clarke said, "It was worth it." But in overall, Clarke was still the bottom line. She can't figure Clarke out. What does she want? Why is she being like that? How sometimes her actions can make Lexa feels so confused as if there was something more behind it. Which she secretly hope so. But she reprimanded herself over and over again, to not dwell on those because it will never happen. For all she knows Clarke might not be one either. Lexa felt a tug on her chest. She feels it sinking to oblivion. I hate this feeling.

"I'm coming, Father!" she shouted back.

She helped Clarke who seemed to be feeling back to shape, slowly walked back to the front door. She twisted the knob and they were greeted by the cold gust of wind. Clarke shivered in her hoody.

"Oh yeah. Here's your jacket," as she handed it back to the blonde.

"I'm really sorry about this Clarke. I never meant for this to happen. I hope you're feeling better,"

"Pish-posh! I'm peachy! I never felt so alive!" waving off Lexa again.

"Can you get home on your own? I can get our driver to drive you home," Looking at Clarke like some frail child.

"Of course! Lexa... Don't worry about me. I'm fine. I promise. I'll text you when I reached home ok?" Convincing Lexa that she will be fine though deep inside her chest was still searching for its steady heartbeat.

She plucked out all her courage within her to do what she had been wanting to do before her consciousness bails on her. She took a step closer to Lexa and enveloped her. The smell of the brunette fogged her like a mint green, like a freshly chopped grass. So sweet. So refreshing... So familiar. She gave the stunned girl a beam and wheeled herself away from her before the latter could say any words. Clarke doesn't want to hear any of it. She just want to blanket herself by the remaining heat from Lexa's body to keep her warm for the night.

And there it was again. An action. Confusion. The walk away. The annoyance that started to built itself up on Lexa's face permanently. What are you doing to me, Clarke?! She stared off at the fading silhouette of the girl. Lexa stormed back to the house still feeling the tingling sensation of Clarke's hug. She bit her lips hard to prevent the smile from forming on her lips. She lied down on her bed for hours contemplating, wishfully thinking, frowning and grinning goofily even by the thoughts of the blonde. She never felt so baffled and mentally disoriented this hard before. Lexa covered her face with another pillow trying to concentrate on sleeping which took another another hour until slumber kicked in.


	7. The Soulmate

The blonde rolled and tugged her blanket over her face, blocking the blinding sun ray hitting her face. What am I going to do? Claaarrkkee... What have you done?! Clarke sat up straight and screamed at the top of her voice.  
"What?! Clarke?! What? What happened?!"  
Abby bolted straight into Clarke's room with her robes on, disheveled hair with a toothbrush buried in her mouth. Clarke looked at the panic written all overs Abby's and sighed.  
"I'm sorry, Mom. I thought you weren't home yet," burying her face onto her hands.  
"What's wrong. honey?" removing her toothbrush out of her mouth wiping away the remaining toothpaste from the side of her mouth. She instinctively hugged the blonde and cooed. Clarke reciprocated the hug and buried her face on her mom's chest.  
"Everything ok, sweet pea?" peeling Clarke off her chest and who was avoiding her gaze.  
"Clarke," more sternly now. The blonde finally looked up and bores on her mother defeatedly.  
"I'm just... so stressed out with school. It's been very...," looking for the right word to make her mom less worried about her. "confusing. But I can do it. Don't worry." She smiled as genuine as much as she can and pecked her mom on the cheek.  
"Honey, you know you can tell me anything, right? I know I've been very busy at the hospital and I know I've been leaving you here all alone most of the time. But ring me up. Text me. I'm gonna be there. Ok?" Abby looked at her daughter longingly and kissed her on the forehead. She hugged her once more rubbing her back soothingly. "You're head strong. You've always been. That's what you're father always says about you. If you're not yet ready to tell me. I'll be here," Abby felt Clarke nodded on her shoulder. She hugged her tighter and inhaled deeply.  
"Are you sure you're ok now?" holding the girl on her shoulders.  
"Yes, mom. I'll be fine."  
"Alrighty then. I gotta get ready for work. I left 50 bucks on the dinner table for later, ok? Just order something for yourself," As she stood up giving Clarke another endearing look and left the room.  
Clarke sighed and collapsed on her headboard crinkling her nose. She stayed like that for the next half an hour till she hears her mom's car engine drove away from the house. She stood up and got herself ready for the day. Thankfully, today was Saturday so she didn't have to face Lexa. She wasn't sure yet what to say to her after the encounter with her father. Her stomach dropped again when she remembered the confrontation from last night and how she blindly answered, "Yes," to Lexa's bloodcurdling dad. She groaned on her stupidity, grabbing her phone and winced furthermore, scrolling down 5 messages and a miss call from Lexa.  
Dang it! She forgot to inform Lexa that she arrived home safely last night. She sent out a text to the brunette and threw her phone on her bed. She flopped down to her bathroom and turned on the shower. She hummed as she took a shower. 10 minutes later, she stepped out of the bathroom and grabbed her phone again. She received 3 missed calls from Lexa. Clarke reluctantly pressed call and placed it on her ear listening to the dial tone. On the third ring Lexa picked up.  
"Clarke?"  
"Hey! Sorry I forgot to message you last night I kind of dozed off,"  
"Oh. No, of course, no worries. I dozed off too but I woke up in the middle of the night. I didn't received any text from you so I got worried... Well I can see you're safe now... That's great!"  
"Yeah!..."  
And there was an eerie silence in between them. Clarke looked down on her hands thinking of words to say next when the brunette started again.  
"Clarke, I'm really sorry about last night... I know it must have been traumatic for you. And I totally understand if you don't want to be friends. If you don't want to talk to me again. I completely understand--"  
"Lex, slow down! Breathe!" Hearing the girl breathing heavily on the other side of the phone. "Don't worry about last night, Lexa. I completely understand where you're dad is coming from. My dad too was like that,"  
"Was?" Clarke was taken aback by the question. She stumble for words to say because she's not ready... at least she thought. She rubbed off her sweaty palms on her pants, a habit when she gets too nervous or simply, when the conversation turned into an unwanted subject she don't want to ponder on.  
"Yeah..." She said reluctantly. She paused for a second looking at her hands clenching unclenching.  
"He died of cancer few years ago..."  
"I'm sorry Clarke. I didn't know..."  
"It's ok Lexa. Really... My father hid it from us for months. He doesn't want us to worry about him. He took all the pain so we won't have to." Her eyes were stinging, she immediately wiped away the escaped tears with her hands and breathe silently.  
"Then one day, when we were at the backyard at our old house, I was watching him paint. I missed that. I guess that was where I got my inspiration to be a painter. From my father."  
Clarke smiled at the thought of it. How every weekend Jake and Clarke would drive to the Park or lake or in most days at the backyard and Clarke would watch her father paint. The blonde missed the smell of paint, the touch of the canvas beneath her tips, the way the brush touches the uneven surface of it, the serenity it brings her.  
"He suddenly collapsed. I was so scared. My mom wasn't around, she was at work. I called 911. They took us to the hospital where my mom met up with me and we waited for my dad. My mom's colleague talked to her and i saw how distraught my mom was. My mom hugged me and slowly explained to me my dad's situation. When I heard it... I... Don't know what to do. It felt like my world turned upside down. I wanted to punch somebody so hard. I wanted to blame someone for what happened to my dad."  
Lexa can hear Clarke fighting a sob. She felt her heart wrenched from the pain that the blonde was feeling. The brunette doesn't know what to do, she wanted to reach out for the blonde but she can't. She wanted to whisper words of encouragement, to make Clarke feel better but she wasn't sure if it was enough. Lexa rubbed her forehead and leaned against her headboard. She sighed, listening to Clarke's uneven breathing.  
"My dad fought good for a year. There were days when we thought it was the end. But there were also days when we thought the fight was already won. Those were the most painful year of our lives. It was insufferable... The night before my dad died. He called for me he said I was the greatest gift he had ever received in his life. That he loves me dearly. He told me to follow my heart. And when life gets tough go with the flow. Fight and fight until you could finally say 'you made it'. I asked him why is he saying that? Its not as if he's saying goodbye. Or so I thought... The following morning my mom came to my room still in her hospital scrubs. She sat down on my bed and looked at me with puffy eyes. And i knew... That was it. My dad is gone. My mom said me that his fight is over."  
Lexa closed her eyes, a tear escaped from the corner as she breathe through her mouth. She cracked her brain of what to say because she wasn't used to this heavy situation. She was never good at any of this plight, because in the first place nobody had ever confined to her before. And when someone finally did she don't have any idea how to reply or even start the conversation again. So she said the most obvious thing to do.  
"I'm sorry, Clarke... I lost someone special too. It was cold december, the road was ice cold and the tyres came skidding off the bridge...," Lexa took a sharp breath and exhaled through her mouth.  
"We both lost someone we love. We fought hard to get our lives back together once their gone... I'm glad I have someone to share this with... Clarke. I never really have anyone to talk about it with before. So thank you, Clarke... for telling me this. And also for listening when I had my drama episodes too." Lexa heard Clarke chuckled upon hearing it she smiled. Cause finally she feel the atmosphere lighter again. She could still hear her sniffled a bit through the phone.  
"Hey... no worries. That was in the past. I don't dwell there anymore. Though sometimes of course I still wish that my dad was still here with me but he's in a better place now. We just have to be more positive about life. And thank you too, Lexa. I know how hard it is for you to trust me."  
Lexa sighed hearing those words from Clarke. She had enough arguments inside her head to trust Clarke or not. And she knew that the blonde already gave her enough reasons to trust her but she was just being hard headed.  
"I do trust you... Clarke." She said defeatedly. "I know my ways are harsh. I've avoided you. I've pushed you away... But that's how I survived..."  
"Don't you think life is more than just surviving? Don't you think we deserve better than that?"  
"Maybe we do."  
Silence took its turn. Lexa gripped her phone tighter, breathing unevenly through her gaped mouth. She looked up at the ceiling filled with glow-in-the-dark stars that she pasted on when she was 10 years old. There was just something about stars that made her feel at ease. She took another steady breath when she heard the blonde talked again.  
"Do you believe in soulmate? I think there's a purpose why people meet. Their like a mirror of each other where you will see everything that you were holding back to make you realise the things that you needed to be changed. Someone who will reveal another layer of you."  
"I can't stay away from you." She can't believe she just said that. Are you ready for this Lexa? Are you really?   
Silence.  
Lexa could feel heart pounding in her chest, she bit her lips and mentally reprimanded herself for blurting out something so bold. She anxiously waited for the blonde to reply.  
"Then don't."  
Clarke knew - somehow - that Lexa is rubbing her forehead again. There's a confused and wrinkled expression written all over the brunette's face. She wanted to say everything inside her head. Everything that she had been confused about. All her secrets. She was ready but she wasn't sure if she should because it feels like she will be pushing the brunette a bit too far.  
"How much I tried... to not be around you. To not turn around... every time I hear you talk or laugh... To not reach out to you when I see your eyes... *sigh* I just feel magnetised to you. And I don't know why..."  
The blonde closed her eyes at the confession, she furrowed her brows at the bubbling sensation building up inside her. The tingling feeling crawling up to her fingertips down to her whole body. She tried to move to get rid of the feeling but she sat there motionless, mentally begging the girl to continue but she didn't.  
"Lexa, I'm here. I know it's scary and I know you're not used to this. But you can trust me, Lexa. I will not do anything to make you lose that." Clarke says it with sentiment in her voice. Deliberately trying to let the brunette know that she will do whatever it takes to get her full trust. She may not know what could be the reason jut yet, but this is was she wanted to do. For herself. For Lexa.  
Lexa felt overwhelmed by the conviction that the blonde was ensuring her. She wasn't sure what to do next. Or what to say. She felt the goosebumps and fear creeping in. She tried to utter a word but no words came out. She tried again and cursed herself for being a coward.  
"I... I've got to go, Clarke. Thank you,"  
Then Clarke heard a dead end call. She looked at her phone and stared at it for a minute. She was worth it, Clarke. She is. She sighed again and dumped her phone on her bed as she headed downstairs rewinding every single word that Lexa had said. Clarke would be lying if she didn't smiled at the confession, cause she did. That would somehow will be enough to get her through the weekend till she sees the brunette again.  
\-------------------------------------------------------  
The weekend came with a breeze, Clarke found herself again sitting behind Lexa in an early Monday morning. Lexa has a new hairstyle, at least to Clarke that is, a messy bun with a few tendrils curling its way around loosely at the brunette's back. Even from behind Clarke could see how strikingly beautiful she is. She suddenly felt a jolt from her left arm and saw Raven smirking at her.  
"What do you want, Reyes?"  
Concentrating now on their Marketing lecturer, trying to recover back what she had missed when she was mindlessly staring at Lexa's hair and neck. Reyes just chuckled and shook her head. Clarke gave her a glare. Not forgetting how the three girls deserted her and Lexa last Friday night.  
"You owe me BIG time, Reyes."  
"Oh, I beg the differ," and chucked even harder. Clarke just sighed at the sight of Raven and furiously scribbled on her notebook.  
\--------------------------------------------------------  
When their break finally started, Lexa sighed in relief as she turned around and found Clarke not in her seat. She finally found her talking to some guy that she didn't even know the name of. What is she doing there? Who is he? She turned to her right and landed at Raven, Anya and Octavia busy ogling at her with a mischievous smiles creeping on their lips.  
"What?"  
"Don't what us. How was it?" Octavia forged on with wide eyes filled with wonder.  
"The play was awesome of course." She stated as a matter of fact. Wondering what is up with their smirks.  
"Oh cut the crap, Lex. How were you and Clarke?"  
"Clarke and I were fine... excellent even. We had a great time."  
Raven clapped her hands together and shrieked with joy.  
"Our plan worked!"  
"Excuse me?" The brunette narrowed her eyes to Raven and slowly diverting to Octavia who seemingly looked caught red handed. "What does she mean by 'Our plan worked', Octavia?" demanding now.  
"What plan worked?" Clarke had rejoined them, reclining on her seat.  
"Apparently, some plan worked for them. Hmmm, Octavia? Are you going to spill it or Clarke and I have to force you?" Looking at her with beady eyes. Octavia squirmed in her seat looking at Anya and Raven for back up. The other two girls looked aloof and simultaneously avoiding eye contacts.  
"You couldn't just keep it down for one second, Reyes!" Octavia hissed as Raven who looked offended.  
"Well excuse me for feeling all excited!" Raven puffed crossing her arms.  
"Guys! stop bulling around and speak!" Clarke ranted.  
"Okay!" Anya now started explaining. "You two have been going on with your little cold war for weeks and the three of us can't take it anymore. So we tried to hatch a plan to bring you two together again. Well... by the looks of it. It seems to work," Anya shrugged giving a full smirk at Clarke and Lexa.  
Lexa felt her cheeks grew hotter, she scratched her left cheek to hide the fluster that was seeping in. Clarke cleared her throat and said.  
"Well, as much as we appreciate what you guys did. I think Lexa and I can manage on our own. Thank you very much," collapsing down on her chair.  
"Puh-lease! We've been waiting for a week for that to happen but neither of you were giving up! Jeez whiz! Stop with all the hard headedness." Raven rolled her eyes and sunk back to her seat.  
"I'm sorry that we got caught on our little spat and got you guys affected. But thank you for the help," Lexa mumbled, glancing at the three girls and down to Clarke who was looking away from her direction.  
"Yeah, sorry." she muttered back looking down at her hands.  
"Okaaaayy! I think we should celebrate! Dinner tonight at my place! Rae, invite Costia its been awhile," Octavia announced. Lexa looked at Raven by the mention of Costia's name. It has been awhile since she saw Costia and she kind of miss her company.  
"Yeah sure. I'll ring her up later on,"  
Lexa smiled at the reply and glanced at Clarke who was giving her a furrowed looked.  
"You ok?" The brunette asked curiously.  
Clarke seemed to suddenly brighten up, "Yeah! peachy!" Too much it seems.  
Lexa nodded and went back to her text book.  
\---------------------------------------------------------  
Clarke doesn't like it when her friends got involved in her problems. She hated it how the squabble she had with Lexa affected the dynamic of the group. But still she was pleased that between her and Lexa were doing great again. Though the other three's wicked plan worked she wasn't still pleased by the thought of it. Despite of all mischievous grins and smirks that seemed to populate on the other girls' faces, Clarke can't help but smile at the progression that Lexa and her were making.  
"Okaaaayy! I think we should celebrate! Dinner tonight at my place! Rae, invite Costia its been awhile," Octavia announced too excitedly for her taste.  
The blonde flicked her eyes on the brunette who seemed to be delighted by the thought of Costia. She could see the small formation of smile on the brunette's lips as Raven answers Octavia back. Clarke felt a tug on her chest, she furrowed her brows cause it vaguely annoys her for some unknown reason. Costia again. *sigh* Clarke isn't really a jealous type of person. She never is or was. But when it comes to the brunette, seeing her smile for another person made her so annoyed, even aggravated.  
"You ok?" Lexa cut her from her reverie.  
"Yeah! peachy!" a little too excited, she noticed.  
Clarke tried to fight the pestering tug on her chest, along with her thoughts of Lexa and Costia together. The blonde shook her head in annoyance and tried to busy herself scribbling on her notebook.  
\-----------------------------------------------------------  
The dinner came, Clarke knocked on Octavia's front door three times before it was opened by Raven.  
"Well its about time! You're late!" Giving her a warning look.  
"Sorry, need to run some last minute errands," A lie.  
Clarke never actually wanted to go. At first, she was excited because it's been a while since she hung out with the girls. But the thought of Costia being there Clarke almost wanted to bail. However, the anticipation of everyone with the truce that Lexa and her had made, only made this dinner possible. So she have no choice but to show up.  
She put on her well known smile and walked in to Octavia's threshold. She scanned the room and found Lexa meandering her way to her. She smiled warmly and greeted the girl.  
"Hey you!"  
"Hey, I thought you're not coming," she said with pang of sadness.  
"Well I'm here now. Cheer up cry baby," Lexa rolled her eyes making Clarke chuckled.  
"Hey!" And there she was swaying her way towards them. Costia.  
"Hey Cos, how are you? It's been awhile," trying to muster a friendly smile though deep inside she wanted to... Don't do it Clarke. Relax. The blonde unclenched her fist feeling it twitch.  
"Been good. Very busy with projects and essay. What's new. You?" she struck back.  
"Very good. Excellent. I could say the same," she wanted to get out of there. She doesn't want to be in the same space as the two of them.  
"Well... I better head to the kitchen and show my face to Octavia before she throws a tantrum." she winked at the two girls. She scampered towards the kitchen and have to say, she was relieved to be out of the living room.  
Clarke doesn't know what does this feeling means but sure as hell, it was getting on her nerve. She tried to be hyper and jolly for the whole evening. Helping Raven and Anya, setting up the dinner table and serving the food. Once, everybody's settling down Clarke positioned herself away from the duo. She tried to avoid Lexa's gestures and gazes casuse Clarke knew that Lexa wanted to sit beside her but she purposely moved Raven's bag beside Lexa. So the brunette will be sandwiched in between Costia and Raven. Therefore, Clarke have no choice but to sit in front of them beside an empty seat and Octavia on the other side, followed by Anya.  
She mindlessly poked her food around while the others chatted up. From time to time she would comment and strike up jokes that made the table go wild. That's her mojo. That's what she's good at. That's what people are expecting from her and she's more than willing to hand it over. But tonight... She a bit off. She tried to regain back her composure and get back to the realm. Tried not to get fazed up by Costia and Lexa. She shoved her thoughts of them at the back of her mind and just tried to concentrate on enjoying her night.  
"What is the meaning of this?!" A deep low voice suddenly bellowed at them. They stared at the source of the voice and came Bellamy striding towards the girls with a smirk and a raised brow.  
"Why am I not invited?" suddenly looking all sad and offended. Clarke chuckled and patted at the empty chair beside her, he willingly sat on. Clarke busied herself grabbing servings to put on Bellamy's plate. Avoiding the stares from the brunette. One time she glanced at her Lexa was giving her a bothered look. She looked away instantly pretending not seeing anything and continued toping up Bellamy's plate.  
"Hold your horses there, little one. A little over the top don't you think, Clarke," hinting at her grabbing the plate filled with mountain of food.  
Clarke chuckled embarrassingly at Bellamy cause she got caught up filling up his plate. Bellamy gave her a wink and devoured the food. Bellamy was really nice and very gentleman like. She owed him for keeping her company throughout the hiking trip, despite her constant warnings of her hiking capabilities Bellamy didn't falter and still hung around her. Both of them chatted up with what was going on with their lives. And to be honest, she does enjoy his company, his funny and quick witted. Their of the same pea. They get each other, when one of them joked and none of the other girls understood it, either Clarke or Bellamy would came blasting a loud hearty laugh. This made a huge ruckus between the girls. The open smirks and winks from time to time from the girls. She doesn't know about Lexa because up to this point she was still trying to avoid her look filled with confusion and sometimes... frustration? Clarke tried not to ponder on that tonight and tried to concentrate on what was happening now with the girls. She smiled at how they were having fun and that was how it should be. No dramas.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------  
"Thank you guys for coming! We should do this more often," exclaimed Octavia, apparently still having some excitement babbling up inside her tiny figure.  
Whereas, Clarke already feeling rather lethargic from a long day. She gave her a light heart smile.  
"Thanks, O for the dinner. It was wonderful!" Clarke hugged O tightly.  
"You and Bell now huh," smirking at her wiggling her eyebrows.  
"Omg, O! That's your brother. Come on. You know he's into Rae,"  
"Argh! You're right. My brother is such a slow poke. One of the reasons why I had this dinner in the house tonight is so they can mingle! But it goes off with 'hey!', 'Hey!' And that's it, and Raven is so oblivious!" O rolled her eyes and tsk-ed.  
"You and your master plans. Maybe next time we will try and hatch a plan,"Clarke chuckled giving O again a bear hug.  
Clarke and the other girl's left the apartment still feeling all hyper active. As they reached down the street, Clarke couldn't help but still feel the tug on her chest.  
"I'll see you guys tomorrow. I'm done for tonight," As Anya retreated across the street. Raven and Costia hugged both Lexa and Clarke and stalked off the opposite directions. Clarke mentally cursed on how close their house are with each other. They walked side by side, with a big gap between them. Nobody's talking, only but the howling wind drowning their silence. Clarke crossed her arms and looked straight ahead trying not to talk first.  
"Uuumm... Great dinner huh. Didn't know O can cook pretty well," Lexa started. Clarke looked at Lexa and replied.  
"Yeah, pretty good food. She can be a housewife material already," smirking at Lexa, trying to lighten up the mood. Lexa chuckled by the sight of it and sighed.  
Silence.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------  
Come on, Lex. Say something more. Lexa was cracking her brain for something else to say. She don't normally say things first but she felt like this time she should. She felt her stomach dropped when he heard someone calling out Clarke's name and saw who it was.  
"Clarke! Clarke!" Bellamy came running after them.  
Panting down upon reaching them, "You forgot your scarf," instead of handing it over, he wrapped it around Clarke's bare neck, fixing it.  
Lexa hitched a breath. She was feeling that annoying and tugging feeling on her chest again. Lexa looked away while Bellamy tried to fix the scarf around Clarke's neck. This does not bother me. This does not bother me. She kept on chanting this mantra over and over again. But over and over again her chest was getting deeper deeper into the hole. She scratched her forehead and exhaled slowly.  
\----------------------------------------------------------------  
"Clarke! Clarke!" The blonde turned around and found Bellamy sprinting towards them.  
Clarke patted her neck and realised that she left her scarf at Octavia's.  
"You forgot your scarf," Her words were caught stuck in between her teeth and won't came out when Bellamy snaked around her scarf around her bare neck. The blonde couldn't help but glanced at Lexa and saw her looking away rubbing her forehead again. Clarke swallowed the lump on her throat and cleared it. Grabbing Bellamy's arm and gently pushing it down.  
"Thank you, Bell. I forgot about it," She friendly patted him on the shoulder as he bowed his head and said.  
"Well I guess I better head back it's getting pretty cold. You girls be careful, ok? Don't get into trouble," He winked at them and sprinted back to the apartment.  
The girls continued walking back to their silence again.  
"So you and Bellamy huh?" Lexa teased with her brow raised.  
"What? No." She was caught by the question, especially coming from Lexa. "He's just a friend, Lexa." Clarke felt like she have to explain more to the brunette. "Bellamy's sweet and very gentleman. He's funny too. Perhaps that's why we get along very well. But I never saw him more than that." She looked again at the brunette who seemed to be in deep thoughts. "Nothing more." She added.  
She glanced at the brunette's side profile and watched a ghost smile forming on her face as she looked away to the street. This made Clarke's chest swelled up. She pursed her lips trapping the smile that was casting on her face.  
Lexa looked at her with those intense green eyes and thought she was going to melt. The brunette nodded still having the faint lingering smile. She smiled back and trudged their way back to their street.


	8. The Getting Along Part

Lexa stepped inside the huge mansion engulfing herself to the blaring silence. She sniffed the air and there was no trace of tobacco. Father's out again *sigh* Lexa grabbed a blanket at the pantry and walked off to the backyard. Positioning herself on one of the beach chairs surrounding the large pool, she lifted her head up to the sky.

"Mom... " She called out.

Gazing at the luminous stars in the dark sky, she snuggled deeper on her blanket.

"I don't know what I'm going to do." struggling with the right words to say.

"I can't be doing this again, Mom. I can't lose her like how lost Echo. I'm afraid. I gave up, I let her in. No matter how much I tried to stay away. To push her away. There will always be something... Something that will bring us together. Its so ridiculous." Chuckling to herself.

"She's special, Mom." Lexa smiled by the thought of Clarke.

"She is..."

\---------------------------------------------------------

Lexa woke up shielding her eyes from the blaring sun above her. Instantly, she sat up straight simultaneously yanking her cover. She was disoriented, she scanned her surroundings and realised that she fell asleep at the backyard again. She sighed and stomped her way up to her room. She laid back on her bed and immediately drifted off to sleep.

"Lexa...," Clarke's face was inches from her. Lexa's anxiety kicked in, tearing away from her self-consciousness as she gazes at the deep blue eyes staring back at her.

Lexa's eyes drifted down to Clarke's plump lips and felt her hair all rose up. She could feel her body falling asleep, as she was stood rooted to the ground and aimlessly staring at the blonde approaching her.

"Clarke what are you...?--" The blonde placed her index finger on her lips hushing her with a single syllable. Lexa immediately shut up and tensed as the blonde caresses her jaw up to her cheeks. Lexa could feel heat rising up. She wanted to move but she was paralysed. Clarke was staring down at her with so much intensity and lust. She could almost feel herself gulping down the weird feeling between her legs. She cringed closing her eyes preparing for the contact.

"Lexa...," She heard her name again, she nodded still with eyes closed. Still anticipating. The brush of a warm and soft lips touching hers making her shudder.

"Lexa...,"

"Hhmm?" She responded. Still excited and thrilled by the touch.

"LEXA!" This time with more angst and authority. And weird enough, it sounded thick and deep. It almost sounded like... a man?

"WAKE UP!" Lexa suddenly jerked awake and flung herself out of bed with a loud thud. "Oowww...," She cried out loud rubbing her butt. It took her a moment to finalise her surroundings and found herself lying on her butt on her bedroom floor. Oh yeah, I slept at the backyard and went back in this morning... Lexa peeled herself out of the floor and rubbed her eyes.

"Oh dear Lord...," She whispered with a mixture of irritation and fear. She stumbled out of her bedroom. This isn't gonna be good. Dang it!... You got it hard girl... Shut up!

"Took you long enough. Breakfast is ready. Grab a plate." Gustus muttered grumpily flipping over to the next page of the newspaper, dawning at the irritable girl.

He put down his paper as he watched Lexa took her seat and started munching on her egg croissant. He cleared his throat and asked, "So how are you and your girlfriend?"

Lexa gagged, chocking hard from the piece of croissant stuck in her throat. Girlfriend? GIRLFRIEND?! Gustus immediately grabbed his water and handed over to Lexa drinking it all in. Gustus looked at her worriedly.

"Thank you." Wiping away the droplets of water dripping on her chin. Gustus nodded and cleared his throat again.

"How are you and Clarke?" peeking at the girl with intense curiosity. Lexa stared at her father with disbelief. Is he really asking me this? He couldn't even care about Echo before why would he be now?

"We're doing fine... But I don't see that's any of your business." She muttered with much distaste. Gustus furrowed his brows at the girl and huffed loudly.

"Of course it is, Lexa. I am your father."

"I know. But you couldn't even careless about Echo before. Why care now?" She retorted back giving her father a challenging look. Her father studied Lexa for moment longer before answering her.

"Because I can see Clarke is good for you."

Lexa in turn giving her father a furrowed look. She looked at him with untrusted gaze pondering what could have made his father said that.

"I've seen changes in you Lexa, ever since I've met that girl. You may not see it for yourself but people around could see it. I have always wondered what could this girl do to you. I am quite surprise she took that night very well. I am very impress."

Lexa's thoughts flashed back at the night when Clarke first met Gustus. The look on Clarke's face, the fear and trauma permanently plastered on the blonde's face throughout the night. But she never faltered and still managed to face her father, despite her audible whimpers and streaming tears. Lexa couldn't help but feel proud. Proud because someone has finally outrun that horrendous confrontation. And its Clarke.

"How about you bring her to dinner tonight? I would like you know her better," Lexa was so imbedded with her thoughts that she misheard what her father was saying.

"I'm sorry, father, what?"

"Dinner tonight. Invite Clarke." Gustus repeated back with much simpler words to comprehend. Oh no... This can't be good. How am I going to tell Clarke? My father thinks we're together... Way to go, Lexa! Great job. Lexa rolled her eyes at the sarcastic remarks that her conscience had made. She tried to formulate an excuse to prevent the dinner from ever happening.

"Dad, I don't think that's a good idea. Clarke and I... we're just ---"

"My words are final! Clarke. Dinner. 7pm. Tonight." Gustus interjected and with that, her excuses flew out of the window along with her dignity. Gustus wiped his mouth with the napkin and stood pecking Lexa on the head before stepping out of the threshold.

Lexa closed her eyes at her new predicament. How is she going to break it to Clarke? She wasn't sure how will the blonde react on seeing her father again... after the confrontation. Lexa ruffled her hair in annoyance and left for her room.

\---------------------------------------------------

Later that afternoon, Lexa paced back and forth in her room, gripping her phone waiting for the right time to tell Clarke. Just break it down to Clarke slowly. That you're dad thought that you and Clarke are together. That he wanted to know more about her. And he wanted to have her over for dinner tonight. Simple. Lexa shook her relentlessly at the idea. This is crazy! She can't do this! She slumped over her bed and groaned.

She propped herself up and sat down staring at her phone. She grabbed it, dialled Clarke's number and hovered at the call button. Gulping down the fear and anxiety clawing its way up her throat. Just press it. Just end this already. Just call her for crying out loud. What's the worse could happen, anyways? Besides from a "No"? .... Or from a "Yes". Lexa rubbed her forehead and hissed through her teeth.

"This is it..." She closed her eyes and pressed down on the call button.

"Lexa?"

"Cla- Clarke! Hi! Good afternoon... I'm sorry to bother you..."

"Hey it's fine. I'm not doing anything. So what's up?" '

"Well... I'm really sorry, Clarke. I really am."

"Lexa, what are you saying sorry for? You didn't-- What did you do?!"

"Claarrkkee..." she groaned. "It's my dad."

"Oh no no no no... Are you in trouble again?... Wait, Am I in trouble?"

Lexa could hear the tremor in Clarke's voice. She gritted her teeth and spilled out the predicament.

"My dad thinks you're my girlfriend and he wanted you to come over for dinner... tonight."

The brunette poured out. She waited anxiously for Clarke to break the awkward silence.

"Clarke?"

"I... I... Lexa. I don't think that's good idea. We're not..." the blonde stammered.

"Great! That's great." She nodded at Clarke's reply. Great! This is great, she'll have an excuse to make this dinner not a thing.

"I'm sorry Lexa, for making my answers back that night, sounded... inappropriate."

"Hey, it's fine. I know you didn't really mean those words. You were just scared out of your pants because of my dad. I should be the one saying sorry." She chuckled trying to hide the fact that she was disappointed hearing those words.

"But I do... I do mean it Lexa. I do meant when I said I wanted to get to know you."

Oh that part... Not the 'YES" part. Lexa quickly recovered and said.

"Yes. And I you." She smiled knowing its the only truth. Despite her feeling afraid on where this may lead them. She wanted to give it a try. She've already begun, why not continue, right?

There was a muffled sound from the other end.

"Oh by the way, I'm smiling. Just letting you know." Clarke teased.

Lexa was surprised, she laughed at the girl's wittiness.

"Great! Me too. I'm smiling," but more like grinning stupidly to herself.

Clarke laughed. The one that Lexa loves the most. She grinned wider listening to the ringing laughter on the other line.

"And I'm sorry about my dad again. I know he can be a bit edgy and you know... scary. But don't worry about the girlfriend thing. I will handle it."

"Okay. I'm sorry about the 'Yes'. I... I don't know what's gotten to me."

"Clarke, it fine. I know you were just carried away at how tormenting my father is. So no apologies needed. I know it doesn't mean anything." Still feeling disappointed. She crinkled her nose rubbing her forearm.

"Though it'll be interesting dating you though..." The blonde chocked out.

Lexa laughed. Just laugh. Don't make it obvious. Laugh! Harder! She felt the sudden nervous inching in. She rampaged inside her head thinking of words to say but the blonde beat her to it.

Clarke laughed nervously. "Kidding! No offence."

"None taken. Well uh... I guess I better leave you with your stuff then. Sorry again for the trouble."

"Stop saying sorry, Lexa. Okay you too. I hope everything will be okay with your dad. Sorry about that. Bye, Lex,"

End call.

Lexa stared at her window dropped her arms on her side and let out a long sigh. She dialled Gustus's number and pressed call. After numerous rings, he finally answered.

"Honey, everything ok?

"Father, Clarke won't be able to make it tonight. She... got some things on. So no dinner tonight."

"Aaahh... Well that's a shame. Perhaps next time."

"Yes. And dad please, Clarke and I... we're just friends. Nothing more."

"Really, Lexa? Are you sure?" Gustus asked disappointedly.

Weird, Lexa never heard his father sounded like this before.

"Yes, Father. We're just friends. Not girlfriend."

"Alright. I have to get back to work, cupcake. I'll see you tonight. I love you,"

"Love you too. Bye."

\------------------------------------------------------------

Finally that is settled. Nothing else will be bothering her now. Lexa spent the rest of the afternoon catching up with her essays. She had been drowning herself with tons of research, books spewed across the room, her hair was in a total mess. She rubbed her tired eyes under her glasses and lied flat on her back on the cold wooden floor.

"Lexa! Dinner is ready!" Gustus called out. Lexa jerked awake and held her head wincing due to her sudden movement. The sky outside was getting darker by the minute. She stood up and cursed at the mess in her room. She scrambled down the stairs and headed to the kitchen yawning loudly.

"Dad, what's for dinne--" She stopped in her track and felt her eyes grew wide in shock.

"Clarke!"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

*2 hours ago*

"Yes, Doctor Wallace. We also do trainings and workshops for numerous hospitals across the continent and hopefully, sooner we could embark in Asia. That is our goal by the end of the year." Informed Gustus in his usual stoic business mode. He motioned back to the presentation depicting the yearly business outcomes and short and long term goals.

"Very good. And what can you do with our hospital, Mr Heda?" Doctor Wallace challenged.

Gustus nodded and pointed at the screen. "We had planned a workshop for your interns to make them more susceptible and competent to the inclining demand within the medical industry. We have a tremendous and excellent team of doctors that are very experienced and willing to share their knowledge and skills to our future doctors and nurses. If you are keen Doctor Wallace, I will make a proposal and show to you what else we have in store for your team."

"Excellent. Excellent. I hope to see that very soon Mr Heda. It is an honour to have you within the partnership." The two gentlemen shook hands and stepped outside the conference room.

"We, indeed, have chosen the best."

"We will not disappoint you Doctor Wallace. We will make sure that this partnership will bring in more competent and skilled doctors to your hospital. You can count on that.'

"Yes. Indeed! I hope to see you next week with that proposal, Mr Heda. Unfortunately, I have to run for my next meeting. Till next week," Doctor Wallace nodded and shook Gustus's hand again.

This is going very well. Nyko is right, venturing to medical industry has indeed broaden their horizon.

Riiiinnggg Riiiinnngg

Gustus took out his ringing phone and answered it.

"Honey, everything ok?"

The conversation went bleak, Lexa was denying her relationship with the girl name Clarke. Gustus shook his head and just accepted whatever his daughter was giving her. She have always been denying her feelings, previously with Echo. Gustus shook his head in disappointment. Sounded just like you Gustus. The buffed man shook his head at the retort that his head made. Right.

"Really, Lexa? Are you sure?" As much as possible Gustus tried to sound uninterested but he could feel a pang of disappointment in his voice.

Is that? Clarke? Gustus followed at the bright blonde girl in scrubs walking to the opposite corridor. The blonde went inside a room and Gustus hastily followed. He could see that outline and face of the mystery girl. It is Clarke. A future doctor, I see.

"Alright. I have to get back to work, cupcake. I'll see you tonight. I love you," and with that he ended the call and waited for the blonde to step out of the room.

\------------------------------------------------------

"Of course not Mrs. Sydney, I'm way too gorgeous!" As the girl stepped out of the door laughing heartily. Gustus walked behind Clarke and carefully called out.

"Clarke."

"Yes, can I help you?--" As the blonde turned around, "Mr. Heda!" almost dropping the metal tray she was carrying. "Wha... It's nice to see you again, Sir!" Stumbling in her words.

"Yes, And I you." Gustus nodded in acknowledge. "Lexa said you weren't be able to come for dinner tonight?"

"I... Sir, you see we weren't really..."

"dating? Lexa already explained. But dinner tonight, Clarke, you weren't be able to make it, I heard? Still have a night shift to cover, I presume?" Gustus asked questionably.

"No, Sir. My shift ends in 2 hours, Sir." Clarke informed apprehensively.

"Excellent. I still have some things to do by then. I will pick you up at the entrance at 6pm sharp.

The only thing that Clarke could do was to nod. Gustus nodded back at her and smiled. The man smiled. He can actually smile. Clarke wiped the away her thought and focused on the main problem. Dinner. With Lexa. Mr Heda. Tonight. Clarke mentally whined as she rushed off to the other wards carefully carrying the metal tray filled with prescriptions.

\-------------------------------------------------------

*The Present*

"Clarke!"

The blonde turned around steadying the chopping board filled with chopped up fruits. Clarke felt herself blushed at her presence and looked at Gustus for an excuse.

Gustus cleared his throat, "I stumbled upon Clarke this afternoon at the hospital. I asked if she care to join us for dinner." eyeing the brunette for her reaction. Clear enough Gustus could see how flustered Lexa was.

"Hospital? What happened? Are you hurt?" Lexa questioned all of a sudden with a worried painted all over her face. She briskly walked over to the blonde, "Clarke?"

"No. No, I'm fine, Lexa. Relax,"

"Dinner is served. Come girls, take a seat." Gustus announced with a smirk on his face.

Lexa didn't missed the look. You have got to be kidding me. She recognised that look all too well. The smirk that Gustus only does when he did something to surprise Indra. The smirk that only Gustus do to make her mother's swelled up with love. Lexa turned back to the blonde and mouthed. "What is going on?" The blonde shrugged and walked towards the dining table. Lexa sighed in annoyance. What the hell is going on here? She stared at the two figure placing food at the dining table and having an actual conversation. Did I missed something?

Lexa spent an hour listening. Just listening. To the two strangers in front of her. The world must have planned some sick joke on her. This couldn't possibly be happening. She puffed at the sight that she was witnessing. Her father and Clarke actually getting along. They were smiling. LAUGHING even. Unbelievable!

"Well this had been pleasant Mr Heda," Clarke nodded at Gustus. Clarke looked at Lexa who was looking at her with a state of confusion.

"Lexa," she nodded at her. "Well I have to go now. I have some things to do before tomorrow. Thank you very much Mr Heda for the invitation and the lovely dinner. You were an unbelievable cook!" She beamed at Gustus. This almost made Lexa had an acid reflex. She gagged and made the two heads turn to her.

"Well, we should have done this ages ago, Clarke. It is very pleasant to have you. Lexa, could you kindly show Clarke out," He summoned Lexa to move.

The brunette peeled herself out of her chair and strode towards the front door with Clarke tailing her behind. Once they got outside and carefully closing the door behind them.

"What the hell is going on, Clarke?!" Lexa demanded.

Clarke looked at her in a weird way, "Um dinner?" she chuckled.

"You know what I mean, Clarke. You and my father."

"I don't know. I guess we just got along. I've always had that thing with parents," the blonde shrugged and walked towards the gate. Lexa tailed behind,

"My father said you were in a hospital?"

"Yeah, I'm doing part time every now and then. You know, working on my application. We're not getting any younger," she chuckled some more.

There's so much I don't know about you, Clarke. The brunette nodded as they walked down the street. Moments later,

"Um, Lexa, where are you going?"

"What?" Lexa was stunned, they were already nearing the In-and-Out restaurant. She cursed under her breath and looked behind her it was already a long way back from her house. Clarke snickered giving Lexa a smirk. Lexa playfully hit her arm and continued walking towards the blonde's street. Got carried away too much huh... Oh shut up.

"Lexa, can I asked you something?" Clarke peeked at her carefully.

"Shoot."

"Your dad mentioned about Echo," Clarke felt Lexa tensed up on her side. She immediately apologised for the question. Lexa waved her off and silently walked side by side, dismissing the question.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

Lexa kept insisting that Clarke was nothing like Echo. That she could trust her. That she won't break that trust. Clarke had already given her much reasons to reciprocate it. As they walked along side with each other, and pondering at their close proximity. Lexa smiled at the constant arm bumps, the familiar humming and stolen glances.

\------------------------------------------

Clarke felt chills as their arms brush against each other, how their hands constantly knocking. She felt shivers down her spine, maybe because of the cold breeze or the glances that Lexa was giving her. Her hand was twitching to reach out for the girl's hand. But she felt afraid that it might be pushing the brunette too far.

\------------------------------------------

The brunette couldn't deny it. She wanted to tell her already. She couldn't hide anything from her anymore. Despite the constant fear and apprehension, Lexa couldn't deny that Clarke already have her. She have her. The Blonde got the brunette. She unclenched her fist and looked at it side to side with Clarke's. She wonders what it feels like to hold her hand.

\------------------------------------------

Clarke took a step further. She hooked her pinky finger around the brunette's and cling for her dear life. She felt the gaze from Lexa but pretended that she didn't noticed. She bores her sight on the pavement trying to look natural and relax.

\-------------------------------------------

Lexa smiled then pursed her lips suppressing the sizzling sensation erupting up to her chest. She could feel herself flustered. She turned away and slowly breath out between her lips. But all too soon it was all gone. She felt Clarke's finger away of hers way too soon. They had arrived at Clarke's house.

"Well here I am. Home sweet home," As Clarke gestured towards the house.

She gazed up at the two-storey house, and nodded.

"Thank you for walking me home... Accidentally," she smirked at Lexa. Lexa shook her head in dismay.

"The pleasure is all mine."

Clarke stepped up at the step at the porch and turned around at Lexa.

"Nice hair, Lex," Clarke winked. Lexa urgently feel her hair, it was all over the place. Her bun has already hung low with loose strands tangling around.

"Thanks." She nodded sarcastically.

"Cute," the blonde chuckled and gave Lexa a very tight hug. Before anything else was said she stormed inside the house.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

When Lexa got back home he decided to confront Gustus, she have to speak her mind. She have the right to know the truth.

"What was that about dad? Already told you she isn't in for dinner. Did you forced her?"

"Lexa, we had a casual conversation. I asked her. She didn't object. She had time to think about it but she still comply. I don't know what you're being mad about, Lexa."

Lexa groaned and covered her face with her hands. She felt her world was falling apart. Falling apart for Clarke.

Gustus rubbed Lexa's back soothingly, "You've got to give your heart a chance, love. Clarke is something else. She's no Echo. You deserved better,"

Lexa gazed at her father defeatedly and nodded. In all honesty, she was still not yet ready. But she was also ready... somehow. Does that make sense? She mulled over how Clarke could make her feel happy, excited, mad, sad, disappointed and frustrated all at the same time. There was so much she wanted to say but she was afraid that what if Clarke's was just being nice and took pity on her. That she was just doing this out of sympathy. Lexa doesn't need that or anybody's sympathy. She can handle things on her own. But she really hoped otherwise.

She stood up from the stool and pecked Gustus on the cheek and bid goodnight. She have to sleep she can't ponder on this thoughts any much longer. She have to escape. Far far away.


	9. The Best of Friends

*4 hours ago*

The cold breeze greeted Clarke face as she stepped out of the Hospital entrance. She had enough thoughts bombarding her, that she barely noticed a black rolls royce circling around the parking and came halting in front of her. Hold yourself together, Clarke. Its just dinner. She grabbed the door open and peeked inside.

"Clarke," Gustus nodded.

"Mr. Heda," she nodded back.

She slipped inside the posh leather interior seat and buckled down her seatbelt. Silently she let out an uneven breath and crinkled her nose.

"Don't have to be nervous, Clarke," Gustus reassured as they exit out of the hospital compound.

They drove in silence, the radio was playing audibly on the background. Clarke tried to picture herself in a peaceful and angst free environment. She tried to repeatedly remind herself that nothing will ever go wrong. She nodded. She's starting to feel good. Dinner? Psh. Piece of cake. An hour of sitting and eating good food. Chicken! She's feeling the positive vibe all around her. Next thing she knew she was humming to the song coming out of the speaker. She was nodding her head to the sound of the electric guitar and drums.

"Highway run... Into the midnight sun... Wheels go round and round... And I'll forever yooouurrrssss... Faithfully," she can feel it sipping through her bones. The melody, the song, as it speaks to her. She pictures herself singing out loud with Jake just like how they used to.

"Big fan?" Clarke whipped her direction to Gustus who was smiling faintly. Very discretely just like how Lexa was. Clarke laughed nervously rubbing her arm unconsciously.

"Yes, sir. My father and I used to sing it. Everytime we had a party at home. Its our "father-daughter" number one ghetto." With air quotations, laughing by the thought of it.

Gustus nodded and silence again filled the car.

"Uh... Thank you inviting me for dinner. I appreciate it very much," Clarke said timidly.

Gustus studied her for awhile and slowly break down the main reason why he invited Clarke.

"There's a reason why I invited you Clarke. And I think we both know who and what I am referring to," Gustus saw Clarke nodded and continued.

"Lexa had been, let's just put it, closed off. I was worried for her after everything that had happened with her mother and now... With Echo. She started blocking people... Including myself."

Clarke nodded in agreement because that was how she saw the brunette was doing exactly. She understands her father completely and felt the empathy towards him.

"But I have noticed that something was changing when he entered Tondc. I have to say I was happy that I did what I have to do... That somehow lead to all of these changes in my daughter. And I believe that you were held partially responsible to all of this?"

Clarke was speechless, she doesn't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing. She tried to defend herself but instead apologises for whatever action.

"With all due respect, sir, I will apologise first for whatever changes that had happened to Lexa. I am deeply sorry for... For-"

Gustus held his hands at Clarke.The blonde squirmed on her seat making a squeaky sound. Gustus chuckled and shook his head at the sight of the girl.

"Nothing bad, Clarke. I should be thanking you. As it turns out in every possible - horrible - melachonic experience that Alexandria had experienced you seemed to be there with her."

Clarke pursed her lips at the memories that Lexa and her shared throughout the months. She grimaced by the thoughts of the possibilites at how Gustus reacted when he heard the news. She stole a peek at the buffed man on her side and grimaced some more.

"My little heda isn't really a girl of many words. If something happened to her I will never know unless Indra told me or somebody else did. She took everything in and keep it to herself. She took Indra's death very badly, I have tried everything I can to bring her out of her shell... But it was fruitless. The more she blocks me out of her life. Same goes with Echo. Oh I knew that girl was trouble from the first time I saw her." Gustus shook his head in disgust and anger. He puffed loudly, and Clarke could see his knuckles turning white from gripping the steering wheel.

What could possibly have Echo have done to make bring out such horrible... Terrible reaction.Clarke found herself staring at the man who seemed to be controling his temper down. Gustus glimpsed at the frightened Clarke and snorted.

"I can see Lexa haven't told you about Echo. Well... It isn't my place to say anything so let's just wait for Alexandria. Shall we?" Clarke nodded once more and diverted her sight back to the window. The silence was growing again and weirdly enough, Clarke starting to feel comfortable with the man's presence. Something that caught Clarke by surprise. She smiled by the thought of it as she watched themselves pulling in to the familiar street.

\-------------

"I want you to know Clarke, I like you for my daughter. It may be true that you and Alexandria are not... What do you call this days... A thing or stead. Whatever do you call it. But I strongly believe that you have caused a lot of changes in her. She's more cheerful and started telling how her day was. The old Alexandria, my little Heda is back," Gustus sighed as he meddles with the pans and pots from the cardboard.

It had been 20 minutes since they had arrived at the mansion and Lexa was nowhere to be found. Perhaps she was busy with her work or something. Clarke took another wide angle of the kitchen, the very same room where she had a major confrontation from Gustus himself. The aura was now more uncannily, homely and comfortable. As she sat at one of the stools, the one she wanted to use to whack Gustus in the head during that night, watching the large man cooking up a storm. She could observe that he is still grounded. Despite, their new money, luxury and pleasure that they can afford, Clarke was surprised that there was hardly any maids or housekeepers or some sort. Gustus was the one cooking dinner and this made the blonde smile because nothing has indeed changed within the man.

"I am very flattered, Mr Heda. I have to be honest though, Lexa was one tough shell. She was very determined and... hardheaded, she get whatever it takes to get her way. I would be lying if I said I didn't had a hard times with her. But those times that were the most important part because I managed to see what she was really like. And I've tried really hard to show her that she can trust me,"

The blonde smiled at her confession. She did had a hard time with Lexa, and the brunette knew that because Clarke made sure of that. To remind her that every single thing good and bad experience, silent fights, confessions and discrete actions were big parts of their little world.

"Well that is good to hear. I'm very glad that Alexandria found someone like you, Clarke. And I hope you will be with her all throughout even if both of you were just friends." Gustus turned around from his cooking and looked at Clarke earnestly.

"Promise me Clarke, you will not break my little Heda's trust. As a father its hard to see your daughter suffer from all of this..." Gustus was lost for words. It was hard to see a large man who looked so big and tough on the outside but soft and loving on the inside.

"I will do the best I can Mr Heda. You can bet on it," The girl nodded relentlessly. This was just another big step that she have to go through, to finally fully enter Lexa's world.

Gustus nodded at her determinedly and went back to his cooking. Silence was feeling up the kitchen, along with the savoury and aromatic smell coming out of Gustus' cooking. Clarke grinned and feeling rather excited that she started babbling on about Gustus' cooking. The way she always used to be with her own father. How she misses him dearly, their painting sessions, his cookings and most importantly, their time together. The two people were hitting it off talking about random things until Gustus called out for Lexa for dinner.

\-----------------------

After that dinner, Clarke and Lexa were inseparable. They got along so well that their classmates and lecturers would always call to them as one. If the lecturer have to pair up for class projects they don't have to ask because 'automatically' they would be paired up and nothing could separate them.

Clarke watched the brunette furrowing her brows over her fizzy drink. She chuckled by the sight of her. Lexa flicked her eyes on her and smirked.

"Saw something you liked?" The brunette teased raising her eyebrow.

"Naaahh..." waving her off.

"AH! DAMN YOU!" Lexa exclaimed shoving the girl in front of her.

It had always been like that. Of course, this had turned pretty well between the both of them. They became more closer and friendlier. Lexa was now more relaxed with Clarke around. They had been constantly teasing each other, to some, it may appears like they were flirting but the two girls knew better that it was nothing more than just a tease. Or so each other thought.

"Hmmm... Having a date again, I see." Came Raven with her usual smirk, grinning ear to ear at the two girls.

"Stop it, Rae. We're best friends. Jeez," rolling her eyes at Raven. Clarke snaked her arms around Raven's waist and nested her head on her neck.

"Claaarrkke... Somebody might get jealous. Stop being so needy," Raven glared at the Clarke and winked Lexa. Clarke huffed but still clung tighter on Raven.

"I'm so tired. Did you know I slept 3am last night just to submit my essay this morning at 8am? Argh! I'm a walking zombie right now and we still have an afternoon class. So please be a good sport and let me needy this time,"

Raven shook her head and cooed at the girl, stroking her head. Lexa watched the two girls, with an endearing smile. Yes, Clarke and her became best friends. They were so close that Lexa already knew everything about the girl, from her birth till now. Though despite sometimes the brunette was still having hard time letting go her feelings and thoughts, Clarke was being patient on her. The blonde would keep on asking till she gives up. Maybe a little push is just what Lexa needed and she appreciated that. It shows that Clarke was really interested in knowing her boring and listless life.

Lexa chortled at the sight, "Yes, Clarke stop being needy. Actually I should be the one being babied right now. Who's the one you woke up 3am in the morning pestering me about your essay? Hmm?" She challenged Clarke.

"DAMN YOU!" The brunette guffawed at her and through her a receipt paper ball.

"What? It's true isn't?" Raising her eyebrow.

"Well sweetheart, sorry to break it to you. But I'm your best friend now. So you can't do anything about it. You're handcuffed to me," smirking at the brunette.

"Wow. It's like having a girlfriend all over again," Lexa muttered in annoyance.

"Hmmm. I think I better go. Witnessing an LQ isn't really my scene," standing up from her seat.

"LQ?" Lexa asked questioningly. She have always been slow with this abbreviations.

"Lover's Quarrel," Raven winked at her.

"RAE! Told you to stop it," Clarke reprimanded.

"Okay! Fine. I'm leaving. Jeez," shouldering her bag and walked off to another table.

Clarke doesn't want anything that could make things weird between Lexa and her. Though they had been close, telling each other their problems and such. Words were already going around that they were.. "dating" secretly. She doesn't have any idea who could be spreading the rumour, though she have always been betting on Murphy. Huge tension had been going on between them after Clarke dismissed his romantic venture on her and it went downhill from there.

"Sorry about that, Lex," peeking at the girl.

"What? It's fine. Come on, It's Raven," Lexa rolled her eyes.

Clarke always finds it adorable and mesmerising. We're just best friends. We're just best friends. Been months since she kept saying that mantra. Clarke shook her head and tried to ignore the strong sensation in her stomach.

"Hey, its almost time for class. Let's go," ushered by the brunette.

They both gathered their books and slung over their bags. They're walking side by side towards another building. Their arms were still brushing, their hands were still knocking and their pinky's met in the middle like they usually do. Lexa hid her smile, curtaining her long hair over her face. She clenched her fist as butterflies started to come to life again.


	10. The First

*3 Years Ago*

(23:13) Clarke Griffin: Are you ready to get old? Hahaha. Can't believe you're older than me now! ;'D

(23:15) Little Heda BFF: Shop of, Clarke! Im already dreading it. Im not yet ready. :'(

(23:16) Clarke Griffin: Come on now. Be a damn good sport! Embrace your last few minutes of being 19! ;D

(23:20) Little Heda BFF: Seriously Clarke if youre not gonna stop that. Im gonna sleep. Im so tiiirreedd. Please let me sleep!!! :'(

(23:21) Clarke Griffin: And miss your midnight call? No way! You better be awake! You hear me Alexandria Heda! AWAKE! >:(

She wasnt really a big fan of birthdays. To her it was just a normal day, yes Gustus would suggest to always celebrate it with a huge party but Lexa was never fond of those. After years of constant nagging and pesters from her father, Lexa grew immuned. After last year's huge party extraveganza, the brunette profusely begged Gustus to not throw a party this year. And after months of begging, cold shoulders, and begging some more. Gustus finally gave in and let Lexa decide what she wanted to do.

(23:42) Clarke Griffin: Lexa?!

(23:45) Little Heda BFF: Im awake, Clarke.

She rolled on her bed hugging her pillow tightly. She could feel her eyes drooping. She rolled again trying to get rid off her sleep. Grabbing her phone checking for messages, she sighed seeing nothing but a wallpaper of her and the girl looking goofy faces. Lexa smiled and nested her head on her pillow.

She jerked awake all of a sudden, gawking at her balcony door. She stealthily creeped out of her bed and grabbed her baseball bat stowed under her bed.

"Shit!" She hissed under her breath.

The shuffling noise was getting louder. She slowly and carefully stalked her way to the door. Gulping down all her fear and wild imaginations, Lexa twisted the knob and yanked the door open.

"Aaaaahhhh!!!" The brunette yelled raising the bat above her head getting ready to beat the crap out of the intruder.

"Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Leeexxaaa!!!! Its meeeeeeee!!!" Clarke scrambled backwards almost dropping what she was carrying.

"CLARKE! Jesus, Clarke! What the hell are you doing in my balcony?!" Dropping the bat to the ground and sighed loudly. She dropped onto the cold tiled floor and looked at the blonde who seemed to have recovered back from the terror.

Clarke flashed a wide grin and exaclaimed.

"Happy birthday my Little Heda!!!" Jumping to the girl's lap and bear hugging her tightly.

"Claarrke, I... Cant bre...eaathh," the blonde let go of the brunette, with glimmer in her eyes. She adjusted from the brunette's lap grabbing a small sliced cake from the floor and carefully lighted the candle.

Clarke positioned it between and cheekily grinned.

"Go on, make a wish!" Lexa shook her head in surprise chuckling at the blonde child infront of her.

Lexa closed her eyes and whispered to her self. And the candle light was gone in one swoosh.

"Thank you, Clarke!" Lexa sighed again and hugged the girl infront of her.

"Did I surprised you?" Clarke asked with the widest grin Lexa had ever seen.

She nodded and hugged the girl again. Clarke chuckled and hugged the brunette tighter.

"I thought you were an intruder. Trying to kidnap me on my birthday," Making Clarke laugh.

The brunette stood up, taking her hands and leading them back inside. Both of them shivered seemingly forgetting the cold temperature that they submerged themselves into. Clarke turned around and saw Lexa packing the sliced of cake back to its little box.

"You're not eating your cake?" Asked Clarke with a pouty face. "You know it took me almost half an hour to climb the tree outside, texting you and balancing that damn cake," she explained crossing her arms.

Lexa holded out her hands which Clarke hesitantly grabbed. She wheeled themselves onto her bed and made themselves comfortable. Despite the buzzing and tingling sensation of the blonde behind her rubbing circles on her left arm.

"I know. I promise I will eat it tomorrow. Im just really tired right now. Let's sleep, Clarke," slowly closing her eyes hearing the blonde hummed vaguely behind her. She scooted deeper onto Clarke feeling the familiar warm and comfort.

She heard it or so thought she heard it.

"I love you, Lexa"

Feeling lethargic and overly fatigued, Lexa wasn't sure what she had heard. If it was her imagination or maybe, just maybe, it was really out there. The brunette hummed.

"I love you too, Clarke,"

She can't stay away from her wild imagination and feeling as if the blonde kissed her head from behind. Drifting off to sleep she felt her lips forming a smile. Happy birthday, Lexa.


	11. The Constriction

"Argh!" The blonde exclaimed in annoyance pushing Lexa's bony arm away from her face. It was always been like that every time they have a sleepovers. Lexa would always finds a way to smack Clarke awake. The blonde grumbled and faced the brunette who was still deep in her sleep. The tension on her face was now replaced by a more relaxed and serene feature. Clarke etched out the brunette's piercing jaw line, the perfect sculptured nose, the pillow lips... That once touched hers.

She gulped down the sudden urge of kissing the sleeping Lexa and gripped the blanket closer instead.

"You're staring, Clarke," Lexa mumurred without opening her eyes.

Clarke cleared her throat and faced the ceiling. "No I'm not," furrowing her brows. Busted!

Lexa opened her eyes squinting at the blonde who was turning away from her.

"Clarke," she called out.

The blonde did not responded. Lexa touched the blonde's cheek to face her. She could see the defeated blue eyes boring on her. She tried to supress the bubbling sensation crawling up her chest. Her hand still lingers on the blonde's cheek unmoved. Their eyes were magnetised, as if there is nothing in the world matters but the girl infront of her.

Her heart was racing, pounding hard on her chest. Kiss her, Lexa. Kiss. Her. She feels her eyes landed on the plump lips, wondering what it feels like touching those again. She feels herself scooting closer. She could feel her breathing getting heavier and heavier.

\------------------

As she gazed back to the green eyes, it was as if it's piercing through her soul. The sizzling heat of Lexa's hand on her cheek shot through her whole body. Butterflies were bursting to life. Her fingers were twitching. She wanted to reach out but was unmoved.

She noticed it. How Lexa's eyes drifted from her eyes to her lips. She felt her lips quivered involuntarily. The way the brunette scooted closer making her lose her breath.What is she doing? It this happening? But found herself moving in, meeting her.

\-----------------

They're breathing on each other. The heat was building up. This is it. Their lips were inches from each other. Lexa wet her lips and tentatively closed her eyes anticipating for the contact.

"SURPRISED!!!"

Without hesitation, Lexa shoved the blonde away from her.

"Aaahhh!!!" Clarke came tumbling off the bed. Seriously, Lexa?! She whipped her blonde head in annoyance to the source of the sound and came face to face with Costia, Raven, Anya and Octavia gawking at them with wide eyes.

"... Happy Birthdaaaaay...," they chorused in unison as it slowly fades out. Raven cleared her throat and openly smirked at them. Clarke hastily went up to her feet and flung the blanket back to the bed.

"Heeeeeyyy... Thank you guys! You shouldn't have to," Lexa beaming at them as she made her way greeting them with a hug. Costia placed infront of her a lighted candle cake.

"Make a wish," smiling friendily.

Lexa closed her eyes and made the very same wish that she did last night. She hoped and prayed that it will come true eventually.

\----------------

After the friendly pats, and greetings from the others. They all trudged downstairs for breakfast meeting Gustus busyily making magic in the kitchen.

"Goodmorning, my little heda! Happy birthday!" kissing Lexa on the forehead and hugging her tightly.

"Thanks dad," she muttered ignoring the glances she's getting from Raven. "Need help?" she asked positively. With much hope that she could evade her pending questions written all over her face.

"No, Alexandria. Today is your birthday, you go take a seat with your friends. Everyone take your seats breakfast will be served in a minute," ushering everyone to the dining table. "Clarke? Could you help the old man out?" diverting her look at the blonde.

Clarke nodded and swiftly retreated to the stove. Gustus pushed Clarke the chopping board and handed her over fruits to slice. While Clarke trying to 'busy' herself from chopping apples and oranges, she couldn't help but glance at the huge dining table. She breathe out carefully trying to maitain her composure after seeing Costia being so close and clingy to Lexa. She pursed her lips, trying to get rid of her thoughts about what just happened 15 minutes ago. She mentally sighed and directed her focus back to chopping fruits.

Gustus cleared his throat and peeked at the blonde looking at Lexa and Costia.

"So... I saw a monkey last night climbing trees,"

"Huh? Monkey?" Then it dawned on her, Clarke laughed nervously, " I was just trying to surprise Lexa for her birthday. It won't happen again," she said reassuringly.

Gustus nodded and snorted. He slowly whisked the beaten egg onto the pan, hearing it sizzle under the heat.

"Did it worked?"

"Well I was almost attacked by a baseball bat. So I'm guessing I passed on surprising her," she snickered making Gustus laughed loudly. They went on telling each other their days in which they comfortably converse on. Clarke could only imagine at how easily they got close together. She shook her head trying to imagine how can people loath such big hearted and friendly man.

\----------------------------------------

Raven nudged Lexa under the table and winked at her. Lexa automatically rolled her eyes and faced Costia.

"Is Clarke and your dad close?" eyeing them carefully. "How did that happened?" she asked in wonder.

"I have no idea," she replied back comepletely at awe at the progress that the two were making.

"I envy their relationship. It must have been nice to get to know you're parents Lexa," she nodded at the brunette.

"You have no idea what Clarke had gone through to get to that stage," flinging her hands at the two who seemed to be having a ball at their conversation. Lexa and Costia stared at the two belting out a laughter, Lexa wrinkled her nose because up to this point she still don't get their relationship.

"You know Clarke almost..." she chuckled turning at Costia, "Ummm nothing," she shook her head leaving Costia baffled. She turned away and watched Octavia and Raven having a heated conversation about some mechanical engines and motorbikes, making Anya shaking her head tsk-ing at the girls. Motorbikes and engines are something that only the two could get along with besides from that they just bicker relentlessly.

Lexa peered on her peripheral vision and saw Costia wringing her fingers. She don't know why she changed her mind on telling Costia between Clarke and her father. Is it because its something she wanted to cherish on her own? Or because it involves people that she loves. Love. "I love you, Lexa" The brunette momentarily closed her eyes and savoured the memory or imagination that Clarke said she loves her. She wasn't sure if it was really out there, but if it isn't she will just believe that it did. Because its seems like the only thing that she could hold on to that could help uplift her unrequited love.

It had been months or rather... a year ago, that she had concluded to herself that she was utterly in love with her best friend. She knew all too well that Clarke felt nothing like that. Though sometimes she feels it, or sees actions that Clarke would do to make her feel loved. But she immediately dismiss it when she sees it being done with others. Maybe it was just a best friend kind of love... Being her best friend is enough. It SHOULD be enough. Lexa rubbed her forehead and opened her eyes watching Gustus and Clarke placing food infront of them.

\-----------------------------------------

"This is really good Mr H!" Octavia exclaimed in the midst of chewing her food, spluttering bits and pieces of bread and egg on the table.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, O," Clarke reprimanded giving her a glare.

Octavia swallowed hard and teased, "Yes, Mama G!" rolling her eyes.

Clarke just shook her head and looked at Gustus who seemed to be enjoying the girl's company. The blonde went back to her food and devoured every bit of it because there is no way on Earth is she going to deny how good the food was. Gustus could really do wonders! She glanced at Costia and Lexa who seemed to be smiling about something. She furrowed her brows and directed her vision back to her food. This shouldn't be bothering you, Clarke. You have seen them dozens of times before. This is nothing to you. Except that it is, despite their closeness, how they always have a small world of their own, how nothing really matters when it comes to the both them. Clarke wanted to stay in that tiny bubble and just be with Lexa alone.

\------------------------------------------

*Flashback 2 months ago*

Riiiinngg

Riiinngg

Lexa's phone came bursting to life waking up the two girls in the dark. Clarke hastily grabbed the brunette's phone who seemed to be ignoring the call. She looked at it and found that Costia was calling her. In the middle of the night? Really? She shoved the phone to Lexa's face who hissed in annoyance.

"Just answer your freaking phone. It's freaking noisy!" Clarke muttered in annoyance. She flared her nostrils as she felt her stomach dropped.

"Just let her be," Still ignoring the phone.

"Does she calls you every night this late?" she mentally cursed herself for asking that question because she knows its something she doesn't want to hear, but still pressed on because... she still wanted to know the answer. What are you getting out of it, asking that question? You're just going to get hurt. Clarke ignored the banter inside her head and looked at the sleeping girl for answers.

Lexa groaned in annoyance and grabbed the phone and switched it off. "Are you happy now? Jeez!" Slumping back on her side of the bed and dozing back to sleep.

Clarke dazed at her actions. Surprised that Lexa just shut the phone up and ignored Costia. She can't help but felt guilty and yet good inside.

The following morning, Clarke woke up flinging her arm on her side and felt the bed empty. She opened her eyes, looking for the brunette. What is she doing there? She walked up to the girl at the balcony and heard her talked in hushed voice.

"I'm sorry Costia. My phone was on vibrate last night I didn't heard you call... Yes... Clarke? What about her?..." Clarke was suddenly jerked awake upon hearing her name.

Lexa sighed and rubbed her forehead repeatedly. Clarke crossed her arms and wondered what made the brunette pondering so hard about. She leaned against the door frame and waited for their conversation to end.

\------------------------------------------

Lexa turned around, startled and came stumbling back onto the railing.

"Clarke! You're awake," she nodded, strode back inside.

"Having a little trouble in paradise?" Clarke teased with her eyebrow raised.

"Argh! It's early in the morning, Clarke. Don't start with me," walking passed the blonde.

"What? Seems like your girlfriend's a little disappointed about last night," the blonde broke a smirk, though inside it was killing her.

"Girlfriend? Are kidding with me right now, Clarke? Costia is not my girlfriend," glaring at the blonde but then looked away trying to look busy fixing her bed. Did you see her eyes, Lexa? She bit her lips trying to erase the look that Clarke gave her. The blonde seems so unaffected by this. Which made Lexa more annoyed. Were you trying to make her jealous, Lexa?... No!... Maybe... Well obviously its not working isn't. Lexa sighed and turned around facing Clarke who seemed to be chuckling on her own.

"Something funny, Clarke?" watching the blonde shaking her head. Lexa bit her inner cheeks and stared at the blonde longer than she should. Slowly she sauntered towards the girl who seemed to suddenly changed reaction to a more puzzled and startled look.

"Are you sure? Cause you seemed so concern about me and Costia," she pressed on putting on a sly look. "Perhaps... were you jealous... Clarke?"

Lexa's face was inches from Clarke. Clarke could feel her breathing. The blonde flicked her eyes to the brunette's pouty lips and back again to her intense gaze. The heat started to rise from her body to her face. She was so flustered that she wanted to tear away from the intense look of the green eyed girl. She swallowed the growing lump on her throat and gripped the door frame for support.

"No!" A little too defensive. Lexa raised her eyebrow at her and waited. "No, of course not. Psh!" Side stepping Lexa.

"Ok." Wheeling around her heel gazing at the blonde as she walked across the room, grabbing her phone.

Is it obvious on my face? It is the way I speak? I tried hard to not be that obvious. Damn it, Clarke. Tsk. She mentally cursed pretending to do something on her phone. She left a silent breathe through her gapped lips avoiding Lexa's gazes.

"I heard my name... What was that about?" without looking up.

"Hmm... you heard that huh. She was jealous," Lexa bored her eyes at the blonde who looked flabbergasted.

"Why would she be? We're best friends," Clarke felt her stomach flipped in joy.

"Exactly. Just... Best friends," Lexa repeated looking at the blonde straight in the eye.

"Exactly," staring back at her.

\-----------------------------------------

*Present*

Once the girl's were done with their breakfast, they helped Gustus washed the dishes and wiped the table tops. Even at to this rate, Lexa was still ignorning the open and obvious snorts and smirks from Raven. Lexa already couldn't count in her fingers how many times she glared at Raven over breakfast or how many times she nudged at the girl under the table. She stood away from the girl pretending that she didn't exist.

"Hey. Can I talk to you alone?" Costia asked hesitantly. Lexa looked at her in confusion but just nodded and lead the way up to her bed room balcony.

"What's up?"

Costia laughed nervously and stalled for the next 10 minutes.

"Cos, what's wrong? Just tell me," she asked relentlessly.

Costia closed her eyes, feeling her breathing and heart beat seemed to be in sync at how hard they drummed in her body. She faced the backyard looking beyond the grass patches and tall walls, she gripped the cold metal railing until her hands turned white.

"Were you surprised this morning?" she asked.

"Oh. Yes of course I was. Did you planned it?" she nodded and smiled at the brunette.

"That's good. Sorry I think we were disturbing you and Clarke this morning,"

"What? No! No. You weren't. We were just sleeping," she said reassuringly, pushing behind the thoughts of their 'almost kiss'.

Costia smile grew widely and nodded. Costia sighed loudly and chuckled to herself.

"That's great," she smiled some more. "Great."

Lexa hummed and nodded.

"Lexa...," Now fully looking at the brunette. "I like you... More than a friend."

\---------------------------------------

Clarke turned at Octavia whom till this morning kept nudging her and giving her wiggly eye brows.

"Omg, Octavia. Stop it! Nothing happened! Jeez," Clarke bantered as she gingerly wiped the table tops.

"Then why do you looked so flustered when we came in? Hmmm?" Octavia snorted blocking the blonde's way.

"Becaaauussee...," shoving the girl aside, "We were asleep and people screamed literally inches away from us." Gulping down the thought of their kiss. ALMOST...Kiss. FYI.

"Riiighhtt." Rolling her eyes facing Clarke. Sitting on the top of the kitchen counter. "Nothing happened. AGAIN," Clarke shot her a glare and went back to the backyard putting the dirty rags onto the dirty pile of clothes near the patio. And that was when she heard it.

"That's great... Great." She heard Costia's familiar voice. She looked up and realised that Lexa and Costia were by the balcony. She knew she shouldn't be eavesdropping but she couldn't help not to. She positioned herself directly below them and listened attentively. Biting down her pang of guilt, she sat down on the steps.

"Lexa...I like you... More than a friend." Clarke felt as if someone punched her in the stomach. She felt a breath left her lips too aggressively. Her stomach dropped thousands of miles and she seemed to can't recover back. She waited. Waited for the brunette to say something. Why isn't she saying anything?... Are they... Hugging? Kissing? WHAT?! It took all her will power not to look up because they might see her listening to their private conversation. Clarke gripped her pants tighter and tighter until she winced in pain.

"Costia... I..." Hearing the brunette's voice is like a wake up call. Clarke stood up and left the patio. She couldn't take it anymore. No. I won't stay there long enough to get myself hurt again. She bit her lips and fight back the stinging in her eyes.

"Clarke! There you are... Clarke?" Anya stood in confusion as Clarke left her hanging and went storming into the bathroom.

Get a grip of yourself Clarke. This is nothing. This doesn't bother you. So what if they got together. You have no chance on Lexa anyways. She doesn't see you like that. You're just BEST FRIENDS. Clarke pounded on the sink and gripped it with all her might. She shut her eyes tightly as she could... praying... hoping... that it was all just an imagination. She waited till her breathing gets even. Till she feels her chest comes down... well enough to face Costia and Lexa. She wiped away the brimming tears that escaped with the back of her hands and fixed herself up.

She heard a knock on the door.

"Clarke? Are you ok?" Anya knocked again. Clarke opened the door and smiled sweetly at her.

"Yes. I was just having my morning business. You know," she chuckled and winked at Anya. Anya rolled her eyes and left the room with Clarke.

\----------------------------------------

Once they reached the living room, she saw Lexa and Costia trailing down the stairs. She gulped down again all her fear, jealousy and love for the girl. This is the only way.

"Hey!" She greeted more perkily. "There you both are. Lexa I've got to go my mom called me and she wanted me home. Sorry I'm not be able to join you today for your celebration," she mentioned sadly. Lexa looked at her perplexed. The brunette was about to question Clarke. But the blonde quickly hugged and kissed her on her cheeks.

"I'll just text you ok? Enjoy your birthday." She winked. "Goodbye guys! Sorry I've got to go. See you guys Monday!" She grinned and waved at the girls as she opened the front door and closed it behind her.

And with that she ran. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, as fast she could to get out of the hell hole she dug herself into.

It wasn't suppose to be like this... It wasn't.


	12. The Part of The Plan

"Hey do-"

"Yes! Wha... What?" Costia stammered giving Lexa the contagious smile that she loves.

"You seemed jumpy. You okay?" Lexa asked curiously.

"Uh no, I'm fine. Maybe too much coffee," she muttered faintly.

Lexa looked at her questioningly as they eat their breakfast. She knows that Costia was not a jumpy type of person. She was always calm and grounded and it was completely the opposite of her, which she finds very odd. She had been acting weird ever since they greeted her this morning.

"Ladies, I would really love to chat. But I have to get to work," Gustus informed as he stood up and peck Lexa on the head. "You enjoy you're birthday, honey. I'll see tonight for dinner,"

The brunette nodded, "We'll clean up here before we leave," giving Gustus a smile.

The girls watched Gustus shuffled up the stairs, hearing his bedroom door closed with a thud.

"So what's the plan today?" Octavia jumped with glee. "Party? Club?" She grinned too widely.

"We can't go party, O. Lex has to be home by 7pm," Clarke informed making Octavia sagged on her chair.

Anya smiled at O and shook her head. "We can go to a theme park. It's a really nice day outside," she suggested.

All of them chorused in agreement and started cleaning up the plates and wiping the dinner table. Lexa thought this was going to be so much fun, with the girls and Clarke. She never get to celebrate her birthday with a group of friends before. It was always been luxurious parties, filled with wines, grand entrances, fine dresses and introductions to the sons of major corporate companies.

That was what she loathed the most, how it never seemed to fail to include rich man's sons and marriage. Of course, in hope that someday their company will merge and be a bigger threat to the corporate world. The brunette shook her head in dismay but thankful enough that her father was never a part of those group of elite people. When CEO's of big companies introduced their teenage sons to Lexa, Gustus would simply nod at her and smiled. He would never push anyone towards her daughter because he respected her decision when it comes to the person that she will love eventually.

Which might be the reason why Gustus was quiet about Echo, and it dawned on her how her father respected her decision event hough it was a bad choice. She came into a realisation that Gustus wanted her to learn on her own mistakes and yet, still guiding her along the way. By all means, when things gets into a total mess and Lexa can't pick up the pieces, Gustus would emerge out of nowhere and came blustering in A.K.A. Gustus' major confrontation mode. The brunette shook her head away from remembering Echo's confrontation with Gustus. How it all went down and scary, but in all honesty, that was how Lexa wanted Echo to feel. She wanted her to feel threatened and scared for her dear life because of what she had gone through with her.

Lexa gripped the sponge too harshly as she watched the suds squeezed out from it. She hissed at the memories and cursed under her breath. It was something she wanted to bury deep down to the Earth's crust. Despite, the fact that she's best friends with Clarke, she couldn't help but feel afraid and infuriated when Clarke tried to mention Echo out of the conversation. She would involuntarily tensed up and the blonde would automatically apologise. Something that Lexa don't want to see the blonde kept doing every time Echo's name come up. She wanted to tell her about her but she feels like the time wasn't right yet.

Lexa wiped her hands on the pants and found Costia looking at her.

"Hey. Can I talk to you alone?" Costia asked, she gave the girl a puzzled look and lead her to her bedroom balcony.

The breeze was a bit warmer now with the late morning sun blaring down on them. Lexa was still trying to get rid of Echo out of her head. And what only made her more annoyed was because Costia was obviously stalling what she wanted to say to her.

"Cos, what's wrong? Just tell me," she asked exasperatedly.

Lexa saw the girl closed her eyes, breathing heavily. Is she okay? She watched the girl for a another moment until she spoke up again. Then they went on talking about the surprise that apparently Costia prepared for her. The brunette was indeed taken aback by the sudden outbursts of the girls this morning. Most especially when Clarke and her was about to... Kiss? You and Clarke was about this kiss. Yupp ALMOST kiss. Lexa sighed at her thoughts as it lingers again on their 'almost' kiss. Until she have in evidently deny what happened this morning to Costia. Who seemed to be looking more happier and chirpier than she was this morning. Lexa couldn't help but feel that something was about to happen.

"Lexa...I like you... More than a friend."

And there is was. Lexa was speechless, she don't know what to say. She tried to ransacked her brain for words that won't hurt the girl. Lexa looked at Costia, her eyes were filled with hopefulness and happiness that Lexa can't seemed to manage to break her heart.

"Costia... I..." She started, still looking for the right words to say.

"Think about it, Lexa. I REALLY like you. I know its sudden and rush and I was hoping to tell after your birthday but I can't do it anymore. Seeing you with Clarke this morning... I just... can't....," Lexa watched Costia sighed heavily. The initial face of calm and sweetness was now replaced with perturbed and abashed trait.

"You don't have to reply right now. I will wait till you made up your mind. Please, Lex, think about it," the girl asked earnestly.

And all that could Lexa could do was nod. She nodded because she wanted this confrontation to end. She knew deep inside her heart that Costia was not the answer. That she was far off of being the 'one' for Lexa. Clarke. What about Clarke? Lexa furrowed her brows still staring at the girl.

"Okay," and with that Costia was again back to her contagious smiles and hugged Lexa. The contact was not what the brunette was expecting, it turned weird and oddly enough, she felt disgusted. The only thing she wanted to do was look for Clarke. She wanted to see Clarke more than ever. I have to get out of here. I have to see Clarke. She stepped out of the hug and said.

"I think we better head downstairs," as she left the girl trailing her from behind.

No this can't be happening. Lexa closed her eyes as she swallowed the weird feeling that was forming on her chest. I have to see, Clarke. She sauntered down the stairs and saw Clarke with Anya. She smiled briefly at the sight of the blonde.

"Hey! There you both are. Lexa, I've got to go my mom called me and she wanted me home. Sorry I'm not be able to join you today for your celebration,"

Something turned sour, she knew something wasn't right. Clarke was being too perky, more than the usual self. Something that Lexa picked up throughout the past year. The brunette was about to argue back but was caught in a haze when the blonde quickly hugged her and pecked her on the cheek.

She looked at her blue eyes, looking tormented despite the huge grin displayed on her lips. Something isn't right.

Lexa was utterly astounded and was looking for words to say, but Clarke was already out of the door.

"What happened to her?" She asked Anya who seemed to be oddly confused as well.

"I don't know. I saw her came out of the backyard moments ago and she came storming into the bathroom, " Anya shrugged and scratched her head.

The backyard? Wait... "How long ago?" focusing on Anya, eagerly waiting for the answer.

"I don't know. Almost 10 minutes ago, I guess," Anya replied.

"Shit," Lexa hissed under her breathe. She scrambled up the stairs, looking for her phone. Leaving behind the girls who seemed to be pretty quiet about the whole situation.

\--------------------------------

Costia slumped back on the sofa looking crushed, Raven scooted into her, staring at her worriedly.

"Now, what's you're problem?"

Costia sighed and leaned her head against Raven shoulder. She bit her fingernails anxiously without looking at her cousin.

"What. Is. Wrong. Costia?" Raven asked more determinedly, grabbing the girl's hands away from her mouth.

"I told Lexa... that I liked her," she murmured in hushed voice.

"You did what?!" attracting the attention from Anya and Octavia. Who approached them with inquiring look.

"What? What is it?" Octavia asked curiously. Raven just brushed her off and grabbed Costia out in the backyard.

"I'm sorry, Raven. I can't hold it off any much longer. You know I liked her from the very beginning and I know there is something going on between her and Clarke. But I can't... I just can't hold it off much longer. After what I saw this morning...," Costia covered her face with her hands and shook her head fervently.

"What did she say?" Raven asked.

Costia heaved a sigh, "She didn't say anything. So I told her think about it. I will wait for her. Then she said... Okay," Raven was staring at the girl as she tells the story.

She can't believe it. She have been rooting for Clarke and Lexa from the beginning and here comes her cousin ruining it. She knew that from the start when she introduced Costia to Lexa, something changed within her. She started asking questions about the brunette and when they're together Costia was always smiling and laughing.

She loves Costia with all her heart and would do anything to make her happy. But this? Is this how it suppose to be? After the girls' hard work and master plans.The elevator incident, it was easy manipulating the system. The dog chasing them in the park, it was simple sprinkling some small bit of meat on Clarke's hood. And being stranded in a locked room was a piece of cake. And so was the play... But this? How can I manipulated this without hurting my cousin? This is Costia, for crying out loud.

Costia looked at her with much determined in her eyes. "I will not back down, Raven. I like her and there's nothing you and your little friends can do about it. If she made her choice. That's it. You're little ploys are over."

Raven shook her head in denial, "Costia... We-"

"RAVEN!" Octavia called out alarmingly, startling Raven.

"Its Clarke... She was rushed into the hospital," Octavia informed with tears brimming down her cheeks.

"WHAT?! What the hell happened?" Storming in back to the house.

"Abby called she said she got hit by a car... she's at the hospital right now,"

"Did Lexa know?" panic was written all over Raven's face.

"Guys! I can't reach Clarke. I've been calling more than 5 times." She verbally articulated with pang of worried on her face as she stepped down the stairs. "I'm worried, I can't get rid of this feeling like something bad happened."

Anya slowly approached Lexa, took her hands and said, "Lexa... Clarke got into an accident and she's at the hospital right now."

No. NO! This can't be true. Lexa violently pulled away her hands from Anya and shook her head.

"No... You're kidding me right? Is this part of your joke? Is this part of my birthday surprise? It is isn't?" She shook her head chuckling as tears were crawling out of her eyes. It can't be. No.

Without hesitation, Lexa ran out of the front door and ran to Octavia's car.

"Start the freaking car, Octavia! What the hell are you standing there for?! Hurry up!"

Octavia quickly pulled out her car keys and slumped back to the driver's seat and started the engine. She looked at the distressed brunette with her face on her hands, sobbing uncontrollably.

She glanced at their friends and watched Anya mouthed, "Go."

Octavia nodded and drove away from the driveway and into the Capitol General Hospital.


	13. The New Found Discovery

Beep Beep

Beep Beep

Clarke winced in pain, her head was throbbing and she can hear her chest pounding in her ears. She opened her eyes gradually cringing to the pain on her arms and down her legs. She scanned her surroundings and speculated where she could be. She feels disoriented and cloudy as reach for her head and realised her right arm was on a full cast while the other was covered in bandages. She gently reached for her head flinching at the pain that shot through her free arm. Her head was covered in bandage as well. What the heck happened?

She looked around for anyone familiar but she was in an isolated private room. The smell was oddly too familiar - the sterile smell of disinfectant and the familiar beeping sound of machines. Everything was white - white bed, white linen, white curtains, white sofa chair, white door. Is it this heaven?

The blonde tried to sit up straight but wasn't able to as a very sharp pain came piercing through her back.

"Aaahh!" She cried out in pain, she hissed and carefully laid back again. What am I doing in a hospital? What happened to me?

She closed her eyes momentarily till she hears the door opened then closed. She opened them again and came face to face with a woman with puffy red eyes. The wrinkles and eyes bags seemed to be more evident and Clarke realised how old and tired her mom looks like. Abby smiled consolably and rubbed circles on Clarke's shoulder.

"Clarke? Honey? Oh thank God, you're finally awake. Do you feel better? How was your head? Your leg? Your arm? Anything hurts?" Abby surveyed Clarke with wide eyes.

"I'm fine, Mom. Thank you," she managed to break a smile. "What happened to me?"

Cringing at the pain on her hips as she tried to make herself comfortable.

Abby pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, Clarke waited patiently as she watched her take in another breath.

"You got into an accident... Passer-by saw you running down the street and the driver didn't managed to step onto the breaks fast enough when you came crossing the road all of a sudden... You hit your head very badly, you got concussion... you were in a coma for a couple of days. You can't imagine how hard it is seeing you like this, Clarke. How difficult it is seeing someone you love on a hospital bed again...," Abby choked almost in tears.

"I'm sorry, Mom. Won't happen again." She said weakly. "Don't cry, please. You're making me cry." almost sobbing along with her mom.

Abby smiled weakly as she carefully soothed Clarke's head. The blonde sagged back on the bed, feeling the familiar warmth and comfort whenever her mom was around.

"Don't ever do that again, Clarke. Do you hear me? I've already lost a husband and I can't afford losing a daughter too." Abby shook her head in dismay and sighing loudly.

Clarke nodded and smiled delicately, "I'm guessing I fractured my arm and leg too. At least that would get me out chores for a month," smirking at her mom. Abby glared at her and shook her head again.

"I'm going to grab some food for you. Ok? Don't move too much," Squeezing the blonde's shoulder gently.

She pecked her on the head and left giving the girl with another endearing smile. Clarke closed her eyes and tried hard to remember what happened. But her memory came blank. Accident? I'm running down the street. Why can't I remember this things? She sighed in exasperation and resigned on anymore mental call backs.

\------------------

*Next day*

"Clarke you've got visitors," Abby announced as she opened the door wider for the visitors to enter. One by one they started pouring in and greeted her enthusiastically. Clarke smiled and slowly greeted Octavia, Raven and Anya.

"How are you doing, Princess? Feeling better?" Raven asked grinning at her.

Clarke could only imagine how much she missed her friends, her school and even her lecturers.

"I'm fine. Still sexy as ever." Clarke winked and smirked, making the girls laugh.

The girls came pulling in chairs seating around the frail blonde and started chatting up as if Clarke was never gone. Clarke definitely missed out a lot, like how one of the lecturer got into a fight with one of the students and both came home with a black eye. Clarke laughed so hard that she trembled in pain and halted her laughter abruptly.

"Are you okay?" Octavia asked with wide eyes. Concern was emitting out of her eyes. "Don't make her laugh so hard Raven. You're making her hurt all over," reprimanding the girl who looked very offended.

"What? My fault? Why don't you get out of her bed and give her some space. Huh?" Raven argued back.

Clarke watched the girls bickering about small things and she just smiled. I definitely misses this. *Sigh*

"Sorry about that Clarke. This little idiots here are making waaayy too much ruckus," Anya apologises, standing in between Raven and Octavia holding their heads away from each other. Their arms were flinging trying to grab each other's throats. Anya have to physically pushed their heads away until they flopped backwards.

"Omg! Rae! O! Stop it. Stop being so childish all the time!" Anya reprimanded giving the two girls a deadly glare. "It's so hard being a mother of this two." She sighed and sunk back to her seat.

Clarke chuckled and stared back at the three girls in front of her. I can't wait to go back to school and hang out with them again. Octavia cursed under her breathe and scooted nearer to Clarke. She was actually lying faced down on the bed beside Clarke and propped her chin over her palm. She smiled sweetly at her. Too sweetly. For my liking. Clarke gave her a weird look and chuckled.

"What do you want Octavia?" rolling her eyes away from her.

"Do you miss her?" She asked cheekily.

Clarke eyed her carefully. Who is she talking about?

"Who exactly?" raising her eye brow at her.

Octavia gave her 'are serious?' look and mentioned, "Lexa. Who else?"

Clarke narrowed her eyes at the girl and diverted her look at the other girls. Who seemed to be smirking as well. Who is she?

"Lexa? Why would I? I don't even know her," Clarke chuckled giving the girls a weird look. I don't know who's this Lexa girl is. Is she some pretend person that we joked about?

"Lexa! You're best friend. Don't tell me you forgot about her. You two were like a couple. Making me gagged sometimes, to be honest," Octavia explained.

Best friend? Couple? I don't have a best friend.

"What are you talking about O? I don't have a best friend and I don't know anyone named Lexa. Stop joking around. Anya, Rae, what is she playing at?" Clarke said laughing at the same time as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

Which it is. It's impossible for me to not remember anyone. I remember my school. I remember the three of them. I just don't remember my accident but none other than that. I'm peachy.

"Omg. Could this be true? You're not kidding Clarke?" The blonde shook her head watching the girls ogled at her. "I know this term, you have post traumatic amnesia. Where you don't remember certain parts of your past. You must have really hit your head that hard huh." said Anya as she interestingly examined the blonde's head.

Raven spoke, "I think I better grab, Mrs. Griffin," as she stood up and exited out of the door.

Another female figure came in followed by another one, Clarke looked at her and observed how stunningly beautiful she was. Her long curly hair falls perfectly on her shoulder, the way she carried herself was beyond words - it was as if she was meant to be here all this time. Her jaw line was so intricate and so was her sculptured nose and lips. But what Clarke found breath-taking was her eyes. Despite the obvious pompous facial feature of the stranger, her green alluring eyes speaks the differ. More than Clarke could ever admit, she was captivated by her. Who is this girl? Her eyes never leaves her till Octavia spoke up.

"Speaking of the devil," Octavia nudges Clarke and introduced the green eyed girl, "Clarke, please meet Alexandria Heda. Also known as Lexa. You're BFF. You're partner in crime,"

All that Clarke could do was nodded and smiled stiffly. She gulped down the burning sensation building up on her cheeks and looked away from her eyes.

"Why do you have to introduced me, O? She knows me," Lexa chuckled as she eyed the blonde. Feeling relieved that she finally woke up.

"Sorry to burst your bubble, cupcake. But Clarke can't remember you. She got amnesia. She remembers everyone... But you." Octavia mentioned as a matter of fact. The girl jumped off the bed and sat down at the sofa watching the two girls staring at each other.

Anya sat down beside her, "Do you think she's pretending?"

Octavia looked at Anya, and shook her head, "I don't know. Is it possible to forget someone you love that easily?"

"Yeah. If you slipped into a coma, had a concussion. But it seemed so obvious don't you think? Lexa. Just Lexa. Hold that thought," Anya placed her arms on her knees and asked the blonde, "Do you remember Costia? Raven's cousin?"

Clarke looked at the other girl standing by the corner who was now approaching her. The girl was beautiful as well. The friendly smile that made Clarke smiled widely too. Her looks made Clarke feel so secure and familiarity seemed to emit out of her presence. Am I suppose to know this people? The blonde shook her head in distress and smiled sadly at the girl.

"I'm sorry Lexa and Costia. I can't seem to remember the both of you. I'm really sorry," she apologises solemnly.

"It's okay. You have loads of time to get to know us. Isn't that right, Lex?" Costia guaranteed placing her arm over the brunette.

Clarke doesn't know why but she suddenly have this weird tugging feeling on her chest. And she doesn't like it one bit. What is this feeling? I can't be jealous. I don't know this people for crying out loud. Clarke tried to hide her discomfort and simply nodded at the duo.

\------------------

"That made the two of them. Clarke and Costia," Anya muttered as she sagged back on the sofa.

"Odd," Octavia uttered.

"Very odd indeed," Anya agreed.

\------------------

No words were spoken. Lexa and Clarke were just mindlessly staring at each other. Costia couldn't take the silence anymore and slipped in between them.

"We've got you flowers, Clarke. It's lilac. Lexa picked it," placing the jar of lilac on the bedside table. Clarke nodded at Costia and thank them.

"Clarke? Honey? Are you feeling ok? Do you feel like throwing up? Raven told me you can't remember Lexa." Abby came storming in.

"And Costia," Octavia interjected. Abby nodded at her and examined Clarke further with her flashlight doing some eye check up. Another guy in a white coat came in with a clipboard in hand.

"Jackson," Abby nodded at the new comer. "Honey, this is Jackson he is a neurologist he will take good care of you. We will have you examined in an MRI and study your brain activity. Just to make sure that you're on a safe side. Okay, honey?"

Clarke nodded and looked at the brunette, who seemed to be watching her intensely. Clarke couldn't help but feel helpless. She wanted to remember the girl so badly but she just can't remember anything. She tore away from the girl's gaze and looked outside the window. The feeling of anxiety, fear and jealousy was creeping on her. She can't push away the thought of Costia putting her arms over Lexa. Why do I feel this way? I shouldn't be jealous. Clarke flared her nostrils as the nurses wheeled her bed out of the room and into the examination room.

\------------------------

As Lexa watches Clarke intently as the doctors were talking to her. She caught her eyes. Those blue radiant eyes. The one that she misses these past few days. They stared at each other as if they were communicating in silence. Lexa couldn't help but feel afraid. Afraid that her best friend, the person that she loves the most forget about her. She crossed her arms and watched the girl tore away from her glance. She felt her stomach dropped. What if she doesn't want to be friend's with me? We have to go through everything all over again. You have to be strong Lexa. You can't make her forget about you completely. She decided to do whatever it takes to remind the girl of what they have back then. Lexa bit her inner cheeks as she watched Clarke being wheeled away from the room. She tried to search for the girl's eyes but it was avoiding her. All the more made the brunette felt doleful.

\-------------------------

*A month later*

Clarke rubbed her legs, extending it back and forth. Feeling relieved at how fast her arm and leg recovered. Finally her casts were stowed away and she was never been happier.

"How was it?" Octavia asked eagerly as she slipped beside her at the quad.

Clarke looked at Octavia who seemed to be grinning to her too widely. She sighed and buried her face onto her opened text book.

"Clarke? Are you having one of your headaches again? I still have your medicine that you're mom gave me for emergencies. Do you need it?" Digging through her bag looking for the pills.

"No," Clarke grunted. She looked at Octavia and pouted. "She's going to bring me to see a play."

"Another date? Lexa isn't really backing down isn't she?"

"You don't say...," glaring at her. "O I've tried everything. I've been racking my brain for the whole month but I can't remember anything. And it's so frustrating... and infuriating. I just want to... argh!" ruffling her blonde hair into a mess.

"Was it really that bad?" giving Clarke a look.

"No! It was awesome. When I spend time with her, you know, like we have our own little world. It was always fun. No dull moments... I just can't get rid of this pestering feeling on my chest. And I can't understand what it means. Its very annoying,"

Clarke tried to explain what she felt but no words could portray what she felt whenever the brunette was around. But what drove her more insane was the feeling of jittery and tingling sensation every time she found Lexa staring at her. How sometimes it was hard to tear away from her eyes. How her stomach would flip dozens of times when their arms brushed or their hands knock on each other.

And the pinky finger incident, Clarke groaned... Lexa hooked her pinky on Clarke and she stopped on her track yanking away her hands too harshly, surprising Lexa whom automatically apologises. The contact sent thousands of bolts over Clarke's body that somehow made her do what she did. I don't know how long I can handle this. I just can't...

Octavia searched for the blonde's eyes and carefully asked, "Clarke, please be honest with me. Do you like Lexa?"

"What?!" Almost dropping her book but managed to salvage it. "No! Of course not. Just like what you said we were best friends. Plus I'm probably having some post traumatic amnesia withdrawal symptoms or something." Clarke shook her head almost too quickly, almost giving her a whiplash. "No... I don't." Swallowing a lie.

"Okay. Just asking." Octavia stated as she summoned Clarke for their afternoon class.

\----------------------

As they walked up to their class Clarke couldn't help but wonder what she was feeling. No! There's no way that I like Lexa. I hardly knew her. I mean... Yes she is attractive. Very mesmerising. Very beautiful... No. Nope. There's no way I could like her. She's my best friend. JUST best friend. Clarke shook her head relentlessly on the constant bombardment inside her head.

As she approached on their usual seats, Lexa was already there reading her text book. They had been cramming for weeks for their semester exams, most especially the blonde due to her accident she had missed out of tutorials and lessons. And she have to catch up to be able to pass the class.

Lexa looked up from her book and smiled at Clarke. The blonde nodded and sat down beside her. Lexa scooted closer, making Clarke forget to breath.

"Don't forget the play tonight. It starts at 7.30pm. We can go there right after class." Lexa looked at Clarke under her lashes and smiled.

Clarke suddenly hear bells ringing and then a halo of light came bursting behind the brunette. Making her glow like some kind of angel. She couldn't take away her eyes of her. She could feel her mouth opening a bit, and felt cold wind entering the tiny opening, drying her throat instantaneously.

"Clarke?" Lexa looked at her questioningly.

"Wha- What?" Clearing her dry throat. "Yes! The play. Okay, let's go there after," She nodded profusely, the brunette gave her an approving nod and dived back down to her book.

Clarke furrowed her eyes and crinkled her nose. She scanned around the room, if she really saw what she just saw. A moment later, the bell rings again she looked for the source of the sound and saw the lecturer picking up the phone. She sighed of relief, at least she was not imagining it. She heard the door creaked opened and concluded that the bright sunlight came from the opened door. Clarke chuckled to herself. I'm not going crazy.

She laughed harder and louder making the brunette looked at her in bewilderment.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"Nothing, Nothing." She shook her head towards the brunette, who was still giving her an iffy look.

"Hey, Clarke," Costia greeted her with a smile as she positioned herself beside Lexa. The brunette seemed oblivious. Clarke smiled and continue reading her textbook.

She couldn't help it but watch the two girls on her peripheral vision.

"Lex, want to hangout later after class? Let's have dinner," Costia asked, without looking up Lexa shook her head and said,

"No can't do, Cos. Already made plans with Clarke," she stated as a matter of fact.

Clarke looked up at them and found Lexa looking at her.

"Lex, it's ok. The ticket is still valid till next week. We can catch the play till then."

"No. I stick to my words," shaking her head at Clarke, "Cos we will have dinner next time," without looking at Costia.

The girl looked saddened, Clarke couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Lexa was totally giving her a cold shoulder. Is there something going on with this two? Clarke sighed started to feel guilty for stealing their time together.

The lecturer finally stood up in front of the class and asked them to take away their text books and the exam was about to start. Soon enough everybody was buried on their exam papers, scribbling answers.

\------------------------

*3 hours later*

"Are you ready?" Clarke nodded at Lexa and they were off to Sky Theatre.

Clarke had never been to Sky Theatre before or so she thought. Not that she could remember. Lexa kept glancing at her during the show. Despite the dark lighting surrounding them. She could feel her gaze, making her hair stands up.

"You're staring, Lexa," she whispered.

She heard the seat beside her squeaked, "Sorry," she heard her familiar voice.

Soon the break went and they were munching on a sandwich. Clarke was still abashed. She still couldn't remember if ever she had been to the theatre because according to Lexa, they will go to places that they both had been before. But it didn't ring any bell at all. Clarke was beaten.

"This the very first place that I shared my past with you. About my family. My mom. What my dad turned out after my mom died." Lexa looked at Clarke thoughtfully, in hopes that something would trigger. But the blonde's expression remained passive.

She sighed, looking down on her sandwich trying to think of other ways to make the blonde remember her. She took a bite and chewed furiously. Puffing loudly. She then felt a weight on her shoulder, the blonde was leaning down on her. She nested her head onto Clarke's and closed her eyes.

They remained like that throughout the entire show and soon after, they walked out of the theatre and standing awkwardly in the cold.

"So um... Thank you for taking me out tonight," Clarke nodded at the brunette.

Lexa smiled studying the girl in front of her. She still don't want to leave. She wanted to stay longer and spend time with Clarke. Lexa stalled and rubbed her forehead. She never thought that things would get awkward again after what they had gone through for the past year. And now, she can't even look at Clarke without thinking if the blonde still wanted to spend time with her. Lexa was afraid that maybe, Clarke grew tired of her constantly dragging her from one place to another and talking about the things that they used to do.

"Do you want to grab something to eat?" Clarke asked, Lexa looked up and was taken aback by Clarke's offer. Without much hesitation, the brunette nodded in agreement and followed the girl out of the theatre entrance.

The girls found themselves eating at the In-N-Out restaurant, Lexa could still remember the tension that built up during the hike. Her sudden outburst towards Clarke. How the blonde stormed out into the night leaving Lexa feeling guilty.

Clarke cleared her throat looking straight into Lexa's eyes. The girl realised she was unconsciously staring at her, she immediately looked away, biting down on her burger, chewing it aggressively until her jaw hurts. She felt her cheeks turning red. She tried to avoid Clarke's open gazes and focused on her food.

A hand stuck out in front of her. Lexa looked at it and looked at the blonde questioningly and back to the hand. Clarke wiggled her hand in front of the girl and raised her eye brow. Lexa narrowed her eyes and shook the girl's hand. Ignoring the sudden bolt of electricity shooting through her veins.

"Hi. My name's Clarke Griffin. It's nice to meet you. And you are?" The blonde asked with a glint of curiosity.

Lexa couldn't help but looked at Clarke weirdly but decided to play along.

"Hi. My name's Alexandria Heda, but you can call me Lexa. It's nice meeting you too." She smiled seeing the other girl smiled.

Clarke placed her chin over her propped up palm and asked,

"So what are you like?"

And it's just like de javu. Lexa smiled faintly and played along with the question.

"I like hiking with my dad in the woods when I was little. I love sports. I like Blue. Aandd... I think the viral dress is definitely blue black," Lexa smirked.

Clarke gapped at her widely and laughed.

"Seriously? I was about to asked that. How did you know?"

"Nah... I can read minds too," Lexa giggled making the blonde in front of her laughed even more louder.

They spent the next two hours chatting and getting to know each other. Maybe it was not about trying to make the girl remember the things that they did. But more like trying to get a fresh new start. Lexa was happy and contented with her new found discovery. She embraced her time with Clarke not letting any moment slipped by. Hell, knows how much time I still have with her.

"Hey, Want to get out of here?" Lexa asked making the blonde looked at her suspiciously.

Lexa chuckled and waved her for the girl to follow her.

"I've gotta let you know. I'm trained in Taekwondo. I can make you choke for air less than a minute." eyeing the brunette dangerously.

Lexa belted out a hearty laugh, smacking her thighs and gripping her stomach. Looking at the blonde and laughing again. Clarke crossed her arms and stared at the girl laughing at her.

"You? Teakwondo?" Lexa laughed again, walking towards the pathway leading to the playground beside the restaurant. Clarke puffed out loud making Lexa stopped promptly and looked at the girl who seemed to look offended.

"Nah! I tried...," waving off her hand, making the brunette laugh again.

Clarke seems to find it very contagious and she inevitably laughed as well and soon after the girls were laughing their head off for some unknown reason. They were wiping their tears out of their eyes, breathing very hard. They stalked towards the pathway meeting the strong wind as they go. Lexa hugged herself tightly smiling to herself. This is better than what she had expected. She peeked at the girl on her peripheral vision and watched her smile and hummed the familiar tune.

Another strong wind came blowing on them and Lexa came embracing herself even tighter. Clarke unconsciously removed her leather jacket and handed over to Lexa.

"You'll get cold, Clarke."

"I have my sweater on. I'll survive." Pushing the jacket to the brunette's hands.

Lexa smiled, feeling the dejavu again. She put on the jacket and engulfed the familiar smell of lilac.

"Ahh! My scarf!" Clarke came stumbling backwards trying to grab the scarf being blown away by the strong wind.

"Don't move! I'll get it," Motioning for the blonde to stop chasing.

She ran after the scarf and finally managed to grab it before it landed on the puddle. She strode back to Clarke and unconsciously snaked the scarf around the blonde. Making the blonde tensed up by the touch.

"I'm... Sorry," still her hands lingering on Clarke's neck. Lexa looked at Clarke's deep blue eyes and something happened. Something inside her bloomed. Something that she had never felt before.

\-----------------

As they stare at each other's eyes. No words. No sounds were made. Clarke could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The bubbling sensation was building up again. Butterflies were swarming in the pit of her stomach. Her head started to feel cloudy. Look away, Clarke. You're over the red line! Clarke! But she can't hear her head fighting back her actions.

\-----------------

Lexa can't let go off the scarf, as if it was the only thing that was holding herself together. Let go Lexa. Let go of the scarf. The girl ignored the noise inside her head. Lexa could only feel her heart almost jumping out of her chest. Her face was inches from the girl. Nobody was moving. The stares were getting more intense. The howling wind and cold breeze seeping inside the jacket but weird enough, the brunette feel warm inside.

\------------------

They're breathing on each other. Clarke unconsciously wetted her lips and flicked her eyes towards the lips in front of her and back again to her eyes. Kiss her. Supressing down the thought, the fear and anxiety way down.

\------------------

Lexa grabbed Clarke's cheeks and leaned in.

\------------------

Then she felt it. It was warm and soft. Her chest pounded dozens times faster. She angled her head to deepen the kiss. Syncing with the latter. Clarke felt her headed pounding in pain but she ignored it. The only thing she wanted to feel right now was those lips. How it perfectly fits into hers. Her hands were trembling she touched the brunette's waist supporting herself, leaning in further.

\------------------

She gently grabbed the blonde's trembling hand and squeezed reassuringly. It's going to be okay, Clarke. And slowly the blonde started to feel relax. Lexa felt her tongue touching the blonde's lips begging for entrance.

\-------------------

Clarke slowly parted her lips allowing herself submerged into the blissful kiss. I can't believe this is happening.

\-------------------

You're the one, Clarke.

\-------------------

Lexa... Costia... Amnesia...

\-------------------

The wind was howling louder. The temperature was dropping faster. Clarke shivered under Lexa's embrace. Clarke broke away from the kiss. Panting heavily.

Clarke took a step back avoiding the gaze from the brunette.

"I'm sorry... I can't do this," the blonde choked. She looked at Lexa and she almost wanted to hug her, to sooth her. The pain was evident on her eyes.

"I...," shaking her head in defeat.

"I'm not ready to be with anyone... Not like this," she almost wanted to cry, she searched for the brunette's eyes who was still staring at her stoicly but her eyes gave her away.

"... Not yet."

Not yet. And Lexa understood.

The brunette nodded and took a step back.

Still staring at each others eyes. The lust and intensity was still visible. The lingering feeling of each others touch was still traced along their body. Lexa could almost feel as if this could be the end of everything. She gulped down those imminent thoughts. I will wait for you, Clarke. As long as it takes.

\---------------

As she stares back at those green eyes, Clarke couldn't help but feel guilty. She knew what was about to come. She knew what was about to happen and now, she seemed to break the heart of the only girl who tried to help her, who had been constantly with her this past month.

Clarke tore away from her gaze.

"I'm sorry, Lexa," and she stormed away into the night.

Leaving Lexa all alone in the cold. Clarke ran as fast as her legs could carry her. And oddly enough, it seems very much dejavu.

I'm sorry, Lexa. I can't...

I can't let this happen. Just like this?... *sigh*

... Not yet.


	14. The Denial

Lexa knew what she did was too sudden. She knew it was a bold move. She could feel the guilt seeping every inch of her body. She sighed exasperatedly. When are you coming back, Clarke?

\--------------

*2 weeks ago*

Knock knock

Knock knock

"Oh hi, Mrs. Griffin! Is Clarke home? I just want to return her jacket," Lexa smiled.

"Lexa, didn't Clarke tell you? She left for New York yesterday. She accepted the internship offered to her." Abby informed looking at the clueless brunette.

"Oh yes! I completely forgot!" Lexa lied. "Well... Uh here's her jacket. By chance, do you know when will she be coming back?" Lexa asked curiously.

Abby shook her head, "Clarke said she'll be there for awhile. I think its good for her to have a new environment. She really needs to unwind. Things in this town... had been very overwhelming for her. She needed some time breathe. She'll be staying at her aunt's house. She's a psychiatrist she could really help Clarke to adjust." Abby nodded approvingly.

Lexa nodded in agreement and bid Abby goodbye. New York? Internship? Why didn't she tell me? Is it because we kissed? *Sigh*

Lexa turned towards her street, forking out her phone. Her thumb hovered over Clarke's name, she closed her eyes and pressed call.

Riinnggg

Riinnggg

"Hey, you've reached Clarke. I'm probably busy with awesome stuff. You know what to do."

Beeeepp

Lexa ended the call.

\---------------

*Present*

It had been two weeks since she last saw Clarke. Lexa had been grumpy and cold shoulder with her friends. She had been constantly checking on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and other social media means to get hold of Clarke but it was useless.

Her phone suddenly bursted into life. Clarke? She immediately scrambled to her feet, flinging off the blanket and grabbed her phone from the table. Her stomach dropped with disappointment seeing Raven's name. She rolled back on her bed covering her ears, ignoring the blasting sound of her phone.

Knock

Knock

"Alexandria? You're friends are here," Gustus announced as he opened the bedroom door letting her friends in. The buffed man grumbled and tsk-ed under his breath seeing the brunette lying on her bed in a total mess. He nodded at Octavia, who gave him a reassuring smile.

"Lexa! Wakey wakey! Wake up! Come on!" Pulling Lexa's exposed leg out of the bed. "It's a beautiful day outside. Let's go out," Flinging the blanket off the girl.

"Come on, Commander. Your princess won't be pleased seeing you like this," Raven teased.

Lexa whipped her head giving Raven a deadly glare, who perfectly knew that she will react violently with her nickname.

"Shof op!" Sandwiching her head between pillows, drowning the sound.

"You really got to stop with your grounder language. Lexa! LEXA!" Raven shouted, pulling away the pillow. "For the love of God! Lexa! Don't make us drag you out of your room! Anya? Could you come and help us?" Raven summoned desperately, looking at the girl leaning against the door frame giving them a smirk.

"Sorry, Rae. Not my scene. I would rather enjoy watching you guys," she winked at Raven.

Raven scowled at her.

"So its gonna be like this huh, Lex?" Putting her hands on her waist. Watching the brunette still unmoved. "You left us with no choice."

Raven nodded at Octavia and positioned themselves at Lexa's side. At the count of three, the girls kicked Lexa's side, making the brunette rolled out of bed violently.

"Aahh!" Lexa winced in pain, rubbing her side. She snapped her head towards the two snickering girls, "seriously? You just have to do that?"

The two girls nodded and high-fiving each other, making the brunette muttering vulgarities under her breath.

"You know..." Watching Anya slowly crouching in front of her, Oh no... I know that look, "its been 2 weeks since we saw you Lex. All of us had been going nuts at this internship," her nose starting to flare, the volume in her voice was getting louder on each word,

"All of us had been working our butts off for 2 weeks... AND WE DESERVED A GOD DAMN BREAK! AND IN NO HELL YOU'RE NOT COMING WITH US!" Anya exploded right in front of Lexa's face. The brunette cringed in fear as she stares back at the large beady eyes dawning at her. I didn't even know her eyes could get that big.

Her next words made Lexa shudders, "Hell's gonna break lose, Lexa. So choose wisely, its either you drag your butt inside that bathroom... or you know what I'm gonna do to you if I didn't get my way. And you wouldn't like it at all... Trust me," hissing silently, raising her eye brows challenging the brunette.

Lexa swallowed the pooling saliva in her mouth. Biting her inner cheek in fear. This is the side of Anya that no one... NO ONE ever want to unleash.

"So what is it gonna be Lexa?" Giving the girl the most scariest and life threatening stare that Lexa had ever seen.

"Im going..." Lexa nodded profusely, standing up and started backing away from Anya. "See? I'm going. Im heading to the bathroom now. Just dont..." Turning around and stormed inside the bathroom, slamming the door shut.

"Well...," standing up, dusted her hands together, "my job here is done. I'll be inside the car if you need me," looking pleased as she exited out of the room.

Raven snickered, "works every time," high-fiving Octavia.

\------------

Lexa slumped back at the passenger seat of Octavia's car, still cursing under her breath. Anya shot her a glare, Lexa put her hands in defence, "Okay... Okay..."

Sighing loud enough for the girls to hear. "Where are we going anyways?" Looking out in the window lazily.

"You'll see," Raven nudged and winked at her.

\------------

*2 hour later*

The girls jumped out of the car and strode their way into an abandoned cabin. Lexa observed the breath-taking view of the glistening lake. She inhaled deeply and smiled at the familiar smell of the trees and the salty air.

"So what's the deal guys? Why are we here?" Lexa asked eyeing the girls carefully.

Octavia slumped her arm over the brunette's shoulder, "We are going to have a weekend retreat!" Pulling the girl inside the house.

Of course, a retreat. What's new? This is not what Lexa needed, what she needs is to be at home, in case Clarke gets back. She rubbed her forehead in annoyance, as she watched the girls settling down.

"Guys, what am I going to wear?," flopping down on one of the sofa.

Anya grabbed a bag and wiggled it in front of the brunette. "Of course! Why do I even asked?" she uttered sarcastically.

Octavia and Lexa spent the rest of the afternoon exploring the small town off the border, visiting farmer's market buying ingredients for their dinner tonight. Lexa could see the excitement bubbling inside Octavia's tiny body. She let herself being dragged away by the tiny girl, she couldn't help but giggle and let herself be carefree releasing the thoughts that had been bothering her for the past weeks. Maybe this is what I just needed. I have to let myself be free from Clarke. From the kiss. From this feelings. The brunette nodded and halted from their walk.

Octavia looked at her and asked, "You okay?"

"Yupp. Thank you, O," taking a step and hugged the tiny girl tightly. Octavia reciprocated back and patted her back.

They decided to head back to the cabin as the sun started to set down. As they stepped inside the threshold they found Raven squatting by the fireplace, starting the fire. While Anya busily opening cardboards in the kitchen.

"Hey, you're back," greeting the girls as she strike a match into the wood.

"Grabbed some stuff to fill up our tummies!" Octavia said, carrying the paper bags over the counter.

Lexa slumped back onto the sofa and opened Raven's laptop, she turned on the hotspot on her phone and connected to wifi through the computer. She started lazily checking her emails from clients and managers, reading and rereading proposals, and making short business calls.

After an hour of long torturous emails and calls, she laid onto the sofa closing her eyes for a few minutes. Moments later she felt her stomach grumbling, she sat up straight and looked at the kitchen.

"My stomach's complaining, O. Where's the food?" sighing loudly as she dropped down the sofa again.

"Um... Lex, did you see this already?" eyeing the girl carefully, Raven faced the laptop in front the brunette. Lexa squinted at the screen under her glasses and felt her heart skipped a beat. Clarke. Clarke email. In my inbox.

The brunette dropped down unto the floor and stared at the screen for the longest time, as if its going to reveal itself magically. Why now? Why ONLY now? Lexa sighed and rubbed her forehead. Should I open it? She hovered the cursor over the unread email, waiting for her thumb to click it open. Are you ready for this Lexa? Are you ready to know why Clarke left without a word? She pursed her lips and turned away from the screen. No, I can't do this. Not right now. She shut the laptop down and walked up to the girls.

She smiled sweetly as much as she can muster, "What's for dinner?"

The girls looked at the brunette filled with concern.

"Guys, I'm fine. I promise," still smiling. "Let's eat?" forking down the pasta that Octavia cooked.

The girls followed suit, eating in awkward silence, eyeing and pushing one another to say something. Raven elbowed Octavia, who almost gagged out a meat ball. O gave her a frown and shook her head copiously. Raven raised her eye brow and motioned her head towards the brunette, who seemed oblivious. The tiny girl sighed and asked.

"How's the pasta, Lex? Was it good?"

Lexa hummed in agreement without looking up. Octavia took her turn to poke Raven. The girl jumped in shock, shaking her head violently and immediately started to shove pasta inside her mouth as fast as she can to prevent Octavia from making her talk.

Lexa sighed and put down her fork. Seriously? When are they going to stop? She scrutinised the three girls in front of her, who stared back smiling lovingly at her.

"Guys, just stop it. I'm fine. I've never read the email. I don't want to. So please just drop it and start talking none sense," shaking her head in chagrin.

Anya eyed her carefully, "My boss is such an idiot. He doesn't even know what he was doing half of the time. I don't even know how he got hired, honestly," Shaking her head in displeasure.

"Please! That's nothing to my manager, he barely do anything..." Raven started.

Lexa looked at Anya smiling at her delightedly. The mother hen nodded back at her, munching on an apple. She was thankful that at least someone was mature enough to stop the awkward silence. She doesn't like to have the attention focusing on her. Most especially, at matters like this.

Lexa decided that she can't be submerging herself into this misery any much longer. It's affecting her mentally and physically. It affecting her friendship... people who actually cares for her. I have to move on. I can't dwell on Clarke, who seemed to have pretty much moved on herself.

The girl shook her head as if clearing the haze and cloud building up inside her head. I can do this. She smiled to herself and watched the girls chatting up animatedly. At least you have them, Lex... Yes, yes I do.

\------------------

*A month later*

"Clarke, Mrs Collins' ready for her prescriptions," reminded by one of the senior nurse, patting the blonde on the shoulder.

"Yupp, be right there in a minute," grabbing the metal tray, Clarke speed walked towards the west wing, entering the third door on the right.

The blonde smiled at Mrs Collins, a plump lady in her mid 50s. Who always been jaunty and enthusiastic ever since the first day that Clarke met her, "How are you today, Mrs Collins?"

"Clarke! Perky as a sun flower," Mrs Collins cheerfully laughed.

Clarke handed her the pills and a glass of water. "So how was... You know who?" giving Clarke a wiggly eye brow.

She put her free hand on her waist and sighed, "No news. I emailed her a month ago. She didn't replied. She's probably busy," looking down on her hand, trying to hide the disappointment in her eyes.

Mrs Collin grabbed her hand and gently squeezed it reassuringly, "she'll come by," she patted her hand with the other and gave Clarke another encouraging smile.

Knock

Knock

The two ladies looked up by the doorway, where a young gentleman in a black bomber jacket with a messy light-dark brown hair that reaches his chin entered the room.

"Hi, Mom." He greeted as he casually strolled by.

"Finn! You're back. Come here, give your momma some loving," Mrs Collins summoned, waving her hands to her son for a hug. He looked at Clarke and smiled amusingly, she nodded and made space for him and his mom.

"Clarke, I would like to introduced to you my son, Finn. Finn, Clarke. Clarke, Finn," Mrs Collin introduced proudly.

Finn stuck out his hand with a hint of glimmer, Clarke shook it looking at him stoically.

"Nice to meet you Finn. You're mom mentioned a lot about you,"

"Did she?" giving her mom another amused smile.

"Well I've got to go my shift is finally over. Take care Mrs Collins, I'll see you on Monday," As Clarke waved at the two figures, her phone gave out a faint 'ding'.

She walked over the reception counter, putting down the metal tray and read the text message.

(21:40) Wells: Hey blonde head, Wick, Maya and I are heading to the bar. Wanna come with? ;)

Clarke smiled at her knew found friends. It was never a problem to her to meet new people. She loves meeting interesting crowd. However, her sudden move to New York made her doubted herself due to the fact that the reason why she moved away was because of her plights and predicaments that she wanted to forget.

For the first couple of weeks, Clarke was adjusting - with her new life, her aunt and of course, the internship. Thankfully, she met Wells her friendly neighbour, in which her aunt Sharon introduced, to somehow "help" Clarke recover from her bearings.

And it came along with a package of Wick - an arrogant but sweet air headed engineer who also works at the hospital, and Maya - a soft spoken but very feisty in getting what she wanted kind of girl.

(21:43) Clarke Griffin: Sure. Be there in half an hour. See you. :)

Clarke immediately sprinted into the changing room and stripped off her scrubs. She tied her hair in a high ponytail, slung over her new leather jacket and grabbed her phone from her locker. She slowly trudged out of the hospital entrance meeting the breeze as it hits her face. She loaded up her email, half expecting for Lexa's name to finally pop out. She scrolled down her useless emails and sighed loudly, shutting her phone to sleep and buried it into her back pocket.

"TAXI!" she whistled and hailed, something that she learned living in the city.

"Ark boulevard and step on it," she ordered, collapsing onto the hard interior of the moving vehicle. Ignoring the stale smell of cigarette and booze, Clarke shut her eyes for good 20 minutes till the taxi driver called out for her. She forked out few dollar bills, handed it over and stepped off the cab.

"Clarke!" Wells called out running towards her.

"Hey, where's the others?"

"They're already inside. I was waiting for you," smiling at the girl brightly.

"You didn't have to do that," stepping inside the usual bar that they go to every now and then.

Wells shrugged, "Aunt Sharon's orders," Clarke just shook her head at the boy at how willingly and readily wanted to help her aunt. Something that Clarke likes about Wells always helpful and loyal to a fault.

\-------------------

The night turned out as well as Clarke had hoped. Enjoying the live band as it plays 90s music, soon after karaoke night came in. Maya the most shyest and self-conscious girl that Clarke had ever met, came and went wrecking ball on the stage. She totally trashed the staged with her belting vocal chords singing to Miley Cyrus song. Wick and Wells cheered at her, and slowly chanting "Maya! Maya! Maya!" and pretty soon the whole crowd were screaming her name.

Clarke laughed hysterically, swigging another bottle of beer in one hand.

"Somebody's got a little too much to drink," Wick hinted, eyeing the girl on stage. Clarke laughed louder and took another swig. She feel the alcohol kicking in, and before long, she could feel herself getting tipsy. She left the table without a word and walked up to the bar.

"Yo! Hit me another beer," the words came into a slurred, as she slumped back on a stool. She shoved her hair off her face and took out her phone. The words were getting blurry as she squinted on her screen, she pressed her email app and scanned again for the name that she had been thinking about ever since she came to New York.

Clarke covered her eyes with her hand and sighed. She looked up for a name on her contact list and hovered at the call button. Don't do this Clarke, you're drunk. This will not come out good... Do it! You know you wanted to. Just one. Simple. Press.

\-----------------------

Riiingg Riiingg

Riiingg Riiingg

The grumpy girl scrambled out of her bed, cursing under her breath, as she checked at the clock. It's 2am in the morning. Who the hell call at this hour? She trudged lazily across the room and grabbed her phone from the table. The caller's name jerked her wide awake. This can't be real. It can't be. She immediately pressed answer.

"Hello? Are you there? Clarke! Answer me!" All that the girl could hear was heavy breathing and loud muffled music in the background. Club? At the bar? The worried girl speculated, waiting impatiently for the caller to speak up.

"Raven..." the blonde croaked.

"Oh thank God, Clarke. After 2 months! Only now did you decided to call back," Raven whined as she sunk back on her bed.

Another silence was audible, the blonde spoke up again, "How was she?"

Raven sighed, feeling the sadness and sympathy coming from the blonde's voice.

"Terrible... Miserable. She misses you so badly, Clarke. You have no idea. We tried to cheer her up, bringing her out of town. She'll be happy for awhile but when she comes back inside her room she's back to her old self again..."

Hearing the girl on the other line sighed heavily, Raven pushed in another question.

"When are you coming back, Clarke? We've missed you," gripping the blanket closer to her face.

"I don't know," she replied back unenthusiastically.

"Costia's making her move, Clarke." Raven suddenly heard a loud pound coming from another line but dismissed it as a background noise.

After a few moments of heavy breathing, "Well... its not any of my business, Rae. They can do whatever they want. I'm just her best friend."

Raven had had it. She had wasted enough energy and effort putting this two girls together and this will just be the ending result? I've had enough of this in denial crap. She gripped her phone tightly in her hands trying to control her temper.

"Look here, Clarke. Just stop! Stop with all the pretending. Denials. I know you felt something for Lexa. But you're too of a scaredy cat to face it. Costia is making her move on her. And if you didn't do something about it Lexa will be gone from you forever. Did you hear that Clarke Griffin?! FOREVER!"

Raven panted heavily, trying to level down her beating heart. This children are really getting on her nerves. Yeah sure, "FOREVER" maybe a little too much. But Clarke have to hear the truth. I have to knock some sense in her.

"Clarke? Did you hear what I've just said?" Raven asked back after full 5 minutes of silence. And the next thing she knew she heard a dead dial tone.

"Great! Great job, Clarke. Great job for ruining your happy ever after," she muttered as she threw her phone on the other side of her bed. She made herself comfortable again, pushing aside the thoughts of annoyance and waste of love that her friends are making. She sighed again and letting slumber take over her clouded mind.


	15. The Breakdown

Clarke winced at the pain on her hand. She regretted it. I shouldn't have punched the table. It's more painful than I thought... But it helped with the pain didn't it? The blonde buried her face on her hands, ignoring the trembling ache on her right hand. Costia. Lexa. Together. The girl hissed by the mere thought of it. Slowly tears start prickling down her flustered cheeks and a sob took control of her body. What's the point of having amnesia when feelings are involved. Am I really in love before all of this happened?

  
\----------------

  
*3 weeks ago*

  
"Clarke could you hand me over the rolling pin? Its by the second drawer on the right," Aunt Sharon asked, rummaging through the cardboard for ingredients.  
Clarke handed over the rolling pin, with her head bowed down avoiding Aunt Sharon's eyes. But obviously, being physician she knows body language very well, she eyed the blonde carefully and asked with a tinge of "uninterested" facade.

  
"What's wrong Clarke?" Facing her fully.

  
"Nothing," Clarke mumbled turning away from her.

  
"Nope. That's not nothing. You're head is bowed down, you're avoiding eye contact. I would say that's a signal for being aloof. I'm going to ask you again. What's wrong?" she asked with more gentle and concern in her voice.

  
"Nothing, Aunt Sharon," Clarke chuckled still having her back turned on the lady.

  
Aunt Sharon tsk-ed, "turn around Clarke," slowly Clarke hesitantly turned around still with bowed head. The older woman walked up to her and placed her hand on the blonde's chin lifting it up so their facing face to face. Clark closed her puffy swollen red eyes, pretending and hoping that it wasn't that obvious. But it is obviously,Clarke. You've been trying for practically every night.

  
Clarke sighed and looked away, "I think its time for us to have the talk," Aunt Sharon mumbled as she strolled towards her office. Clarke falteringly followed the woman inside a small room surrounded by cardboard filled with medical books. Medical Industry had always been in Clarke's family or much rather from her mother's side. Up from her great great great grandparents down to her. Its almost as if its in their blood.

  
Aunt Sharon waved for Clarke to seat down on a posh arm chair, waiting for her aunt to settle down herself. Not long after, they found themselves sitting on the carpeted floor, crossed legged and listening to the gentle flow of water coming out of the stereo. In all honesty, Clarke finds it very relaxing and somehow helped her clear her mind and feeling at ease for once.  
She heard the sound stopped and opened her eyes squinting at the sunlight blaring through the window. She comfortably sat back on the arm chair and waited for her aunt to speak up.

  
"I'm glad you're here, Clarke." she smiled sincerely, making the blonde smiled back.

  
"I'm glad too, Aunt Sharon,"

  
The physician persona within Aunt Sharon, slowly took over. As Clarke could see a more serious and yet gentle and serene features, compared to her usual perky and cheerful self. Well... Maybe this is where it starts. She braced herself for the imminent questions that was about to ask. And she promised to herself that she wanted to get herself better, to help herself be back on track and not get overwhelmed once she returns at the Capitol.

  
An hour had past and Clark was brawling in tears. She was sobbing uncontrollably with Aunt Sharon rubbing her back soothing her.

  
"It's okay, Clarke. Let it out. Let go all the hurt, the pain," Aunt Sharon crouched in front of the crying blonde and took her hands on hers.

  
"Follow me Clarke. Close you're eyes. Count to 10... One. Two. Three. Four... Feel your breathing. Let it flow through you. Be in sync with the beat of your heart. Relax... Nine. Ten. Inhale. Exhale," She studied Clarke and smiled encouragingly.

  
"Feeling better?" She asked.

  
Clarke nodded and exhaled. Aunt Sharon nodded at her approvingly and hugged her tightly. Clarke sinked into her aunts gentle embrace and smiled. This is a good choice. Moving here. This is a good choice. For me.

  
Clarke stood up and thanked her aunt for helping her calm down. She had never felt relieved and unleashed for such a long time. But there was one thing that still bothered her. Before exiting the room, she turned around and asked,  
"Aunt Sharon, Is it possible to feel 'in love' with someone even after you've got an amnesia and you're memory of that person was totally wiped off from your memory?"

  
The woman pondered for a minute and answered back, "Love... is a very objective matter. I personally believe that even though you've lost all the memories of that person, the main focal point, are the reasons why love her. Yes, all memories were deleted, good or bad, you may look at that person with a straight blank face and even with emotionless and with the least affection towards to. But once you get to spend more time with that person, and the reasons why you love that person from the very beginning started to come out... That's when it happens."

  
Clarke nodded and stood silently digesting and pondering the words. She started to remember how the brunette tried so hard for weeks to make her remember everything they did together. One whole year of memories shrunk into a month. Maybe it wasn't about the memories that they had together. Or when, or how they meet. Or when did the feeling even started from the beginning. Maybe its more about second chances. She was given a second life. A chance to start a fresh. This feelings were already buried deep inside of her but was waiting to be released as more time she spent in seeing the little things that made her fall for the girl. Clarke smiled and nodded at how things made more sense now.  
She smiled optimistically at her Aunt Sharon and left the room feeling more elevated and certain that things would get finally better.

  
\------------------

  
"Here," a cold firm hand grabbed her right hand covering it ice cold towel. Clarke suddenly looked up and found herself staring at Finn.

  
Clarke didn't say a word and just mindlessly staring at the guy who seemed pretty amused by her expression.

  
"And it's nice see you again," Finn nodded at Clarke sarcastically.

  
"I... I'm sorry. I was just surprised," Looking away from Finn, wrapping the towel on her hand more tightly.

  
"Tough night?" He hinted.

  
Clarke chuckled and wiped the remaining tears in her eyes. "You have no idea."

  
Finn pushed her a shot, "It's on me," and winked as he sauntered away giving out drinks to the other patrons. Clarke winced at the strong alcohol as it slides down her throat burning it at the same time. So he works here. Clarke found herself thoughtlessly staring at the bartender longer than she should.

  
"Feeling okay there, Clarke?" Finn asked as she approached the blonde once again.

  
"Peachy," Clarke mumbled.

  
"There you are! I was worried sake for you. I thought you're aunt's gonna kill me. We better head home," Wells said anxiously with tinge of panic.

  
"Well thank you for the towel and the drink. I've got to go. It's nice seeing you, Finn," Clarke smiled and stood up but failed miserably and found her self being dragged away by Well under his arms.

  
"Why are you so nice, Wells? Why?" As she patted him on his chest. Wells just shook her head and chuckled.

  
"Go to sleep, Clarke. We'll be home soon," Giving her a final look and walked towards his parked car.

  
\---------------------

  
Raven cautiously walked over to Anya and Octavia, looking around in case the brunette came into view. She scooted closer to the girls in the booth of the Grounder's Cafe and asked.  
"Has Lexa arrived yet?"

  
The two girls shook their heads.

  
"Good. I've something to tell you guys." Raven took a deep breath, " Clarke called me later last night." Watching the girls for reactions.

  
"What?! What time? Is she coming back? Wait... Why did she called you and not me?" Octavia eyed Raven, looking offended.

  
Raven shrugged, "Maybe because I'm more likeable than you. I'm her favorite." Mocking the little girl.

  
"Screw you! Take that back!" Octavia exclaimed shoving the girl out of the booth, Raven gripped the table tightly to prevent herself from falling and stuck her tongue at the girl.

  
"CHILDREN! Can we get to the point?" Anya blurted out, automatically both girls stopped and sat up straighter.

  
"Where was I? Before I got rudely interrupted," glaring at Octavia, "She called last night... to ask about... You know... Lexa. Which might be the reason why she called me because you're closer to Lex... Though I'm pretty sure she was tipsy or drunk, I could hear it in her voice."

  
"What else? That's it?" Anya hastily asked.

  
"I told her about Costia," peering over at the girls' reaction and sure enough they were surprised.

  
"You told her about Costia?! How did she handled it?" Octavia ejaculated.

  
"Of course, knowing Clarke. She shows like she doesn't care at all but she hesitated... A lot. So I got pissed off and told her that I know there's something's going on between her and Lexa. And if she didn't do anything about it Lexa will be gone forever," Raven stated as a matter of fact.

  
"Damn, girl. Harsh words," Octavia said shaking her head.

  
"So are you going to tell Lexa?" Anya questioned.

  
Raven shrugged and sighed, "I really don't know. I'm afraid it might break her heart. 2 months Anya. 2 freaking months,"

  
The three girls kept quiet, staring into space. Thinking of ways how to tell the brunette about Clarke.

Lexa slid beside Anya and nudged her, " who are we giving a minute of silence to?" smirking at the girls.

  
"No...No one!" Raven muttered too obviously. Lexa watched suspiciously and started raising her eye brows.

  
"Spill," and with just one word, Raven spilt everything about Clarke and the phone call, but leaving behind the Costia part.

  
"Oh..." Lexa nodded stoically, "That's great. At least you guys still talk. That's great!... Okay,"

  
The three girls watched the brunette busy herself with the menu, watching her nose flare and her brows furrowing from time to time. Lexa looked up, ignoring the looks on the girls' faces.  
"Did you guys ordered yet? I want cheese burger with cheese fries on the side. Order for me? I'm just gonna go to the ladies room for awhile," She winked at the girls and casually strolled off to the washroom.

  
"Well that went well...," Octavia remarked sarcastically, still staring at the door that the brunette exited out to.

  
"You think! I know Lexa, she doesn't want us to see her weak. I bet you she's crying in the cubicle," Raven challenged.

  
"Don't be so mean, Rae. She could just be peeing or something," elbowing the girl beside her.

  
\----------------

  
*15 minutes later*

  
"Food haven't arrived yet?" The brunette asked sliding back down beside Anya, still having a smile plastered on her face.

  
"Nope...," Octavia replied back, trying to balance her spoon on her nose. "Oh, Oh wait... Yeee-... Nope," watching every single waiter in the cafe with food on the tray.

  
Lexa laughed at the small girl, trying to thread herself out of the blackhole that was sucking her in. Clarke didn't call you. She called Raven. I thought she was your best friend, Lexa?.... Shut up! Shut up!

  
After long torturous waits, she finally came face to face with her cheese burger. She didn't wait any much longer for the other girl's food to arrive and decided to dig in. Lexa chuckled at how savoury and fulfilling it tasted like. Cheese I love cheese (Clarke). Fries yum! (Clarke)... Stop it! Lexa could feel three pair of eyes watching her every move, she sighed and planned on completely ignoring them for the whole afternoon. This is gonna be a long day.

  
The girls decided to watch a movie and no matter how hilarious and hysterical the scenes were. Lexa was tearing up. Laughing... but tearing up. I think I'm going crazy. She tried to hide her sniffles as much as she can.

  
"You crying?" Raven whispered.

  
"Huh? No, its really cold. Air condition," Lexa dodged. That was close.

  
The day went on a long draggy timeline. But Lexa was finally relieved to be at home, at the comfort of her bed, staring at the ceiling and mindlessly thinking about the phone call and Clarke. Why didn't she call me? I'm her freaking best friend for crying out loud. Shouldn't she be explaining to me why she left?... I'm her freaking best friend!... Maybe not anymore after you kissed her.

  
"Aarggh!" Lexa smacked her pillow over her face and screamed. Stupid Lexa! Stupid! Stupid!

  
Lexa jumped out of her bed, pulling out her blanket and went out into the balcony. She laid the blanket over the floor and sandwiched herself with it. She stared back into the stars, tracing the constellations with her bony hands.

  
"Mom..." She called out. "I miss her..." her chest started to constrict. The tugging started to do its thing.

  
She sighed and covering her mouth trying to muffle the sob that was trying to escape. Tears were starting to break free. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes.  
"Please let her feel that... Please," She choked, trying to even out her breathing again.

  
The brunette spent the next half an hour, trying to calm down. Trying to remember to great memories she have... had with Clarke. She snickered. Cried. And sometimes just stares.

_Should I be doing this? Should I be dwelling about this?_

Lexa propped herself up, and buried her face over her crossed arms above her bent knees. Then she sobbed hard. The brunette doesn't know how long was she in this position. But she guessed long enough for Gustus to sit down beside and enveloped her.

  
Lexa buried her face over her father's chest and cried harder, gripping Gustus' shirt tightly.

  
Gustus rubbed his little heda's back soothingly, hushing gently.

  
No words were needed. The presence was enough. Lexa felt the love that connected her with her father. The love that she had longed for for such a long time. She hugged Gustus tighter and said,

  
"I love her, dad."

  
"I know."


	16. May We Meet Again

"Dear Lexa

  
There had been a lot of things going on inside my head. Questionable things that I can't seem to answer. And part of it was you. You came into my life as simple as a snap of a finger. I never knew or expected, you'll be that... (Hard for me to even admit)... Important. More than I thought you could be. I wanted to understand what is really happening. With you. With me. Us. And the more I thought about it the more my head started to pound achingly. And the more I feel the ache the more I want to stop thinking about it. Because hell who knows what we've gone through. The pain that we've been through.

I want you to know that I am incredibly sorry for leaving without a word. I just want to clear my head for a while. I want to understand and adjust with this sudden rush of reality. I want... No... I NEED to know where will this lead me. Where will this lead US.

They said that you were my best friend. But why does it feel like it was more than that? When I found out that the person that I was distinctly ogling about in that hospital room was my best friend. I got excited. I felt happy. Over the moon, if I say so myself.

But why? Why every time you dragged me to places and talk about our time together, I felt this strong feelings fluttering inside my stomach. I can't ponder hard enough because it was giving me a migraine most of the time. Then I thought to myself, maybe my memories were coming back. I tried to jog my memories. I've submerged myself with pictures, videos and I went back to places we've been to. But none of it rings a bell.

Every time I look at you, I have this sense of vulnerability. A sense of familiarity and security. That nothing else matters but you. I cried almost every night praying and hoping that everything would come back to me. Until that night at the playground...

I knew I should have told you about the internship. I was about to tell you until you got your green eyes staring at me. And with your hands around my neck. I just can't think straight.

I never wanted to go in the first place. I never wanted to leave Capitol. I never wanted to leave Anya, Octavia and Raven. I most DEFINITELY don't want to leave you. But what happened that night... It changes everything.

You were staring at me and I thought to myself is this really happening right now? What if we were more than best friends before? What if nobody knew about it but us? That maybe you weren't talking about it because you were afraid of what I might think about you. Or about our friendship. Or that I might reject the truth.

I couldn't hold of myself, my head was pounding in pain. I tried to grip for my dear life as I watch myself being taken away from my body. I watched myself being inside that classroom thoughtlessly staring at your big fuzzy head. Or the moment when you turned around from your seat and looked at me questioningly with those alluring green eyes. Or when I felt this stressing feeling at the pit of my stomach, watching you biked away from me and never looking back even once. Or when our lips momentarily touched from, what it seems to me, a truth or dare game.

Everything came crushing down and the more I felt the pain physically. The more I felt afraid. Afraid to tell you. Afraid of even accepting or admitting to myself that it was real. I wanted to tell you badly. But remembering myself sitting by the patio steps below the balcony, listening to words that I just want to deny that ever came true. Words that made me sick to my stomach. Words that Costia uttered.

I gave in. I found myself running away. Just like how I ran away and ended up here in New York.

I was afraid the changes that it may lead us. The people that we might eventually hurt. I never wanted anyone to get hurt because me. Or because of the accident. Or being together.

I needed time to think. I need space... (And no I don't want to be an astronaut or go to space).

I want to fully understand that what I feel was true. That it wasn't just some post amnesia symptoms. I want myself to be ready facing you, our friends and even my mom. I can't look at their faces with pain, sadness and sympathy anymore.

I just need time.

I want you to know, that you're not alone in this. I will come back but I don't know when just yet. But when I do I will not waste anymore time. I hope that you will find in your heart to understand. I hope you will wait for me. I know it may sound selfish but I will not hold you back with people or things that will make you happy. I need you to live your life. I need you to be happy with the decisions that you're making. I need you to accept and be happy with the people entering your world. Accept them, trust them and love them. I need you to do this for me. And I will do the same.

And please don't think that I did this because I don't care. I do care, Lexa, but I made this choice with head and not my heart.

I will always be your best friend. Nothing has changed in that. And I will not change that no matter what happened to us.

May we meet again.

  
Yours sincerely,   
Clarke"


	17. The A-Part

 

*A years later*

Lexa pocketed an old polaroid picture in her back pocket of her ripped jeans then quickly fixed her shirt. It's okay. This is okay, Lex. Giving herself one full look of her appearance, she blew a breath then grabbed her bag and walked downstairs. "I'm going out, dad!" she called out as she exited out of the front door.

Riinnggg

Riinnggg

"Hey! You're here? I'm out the door. I'll meet you up front. Okay, Bye" pocketing her phone, Lexa ran up to the gate and watched the car stop in front of her.

"Hey," greeting Costia and pecking her on the cheek, "Let's go."

After sending a quick text on her phone, Lexa asked Costia, "Where are we going, Cos?" poking the girl on her side playfully.

"Lex, stop doing that if you wanna live," Costia giggled, grabbing the brunette's arm away from her.

"Fine. But seriously where are we going?" Looking at the road names or any signs at all that would tell her where they were heading.

"It's a surprise. So just sit tight, relax and enjoy the ride," smiling at the girl sheepishly.

Lexa shook her head, "Well this better top my laser tag day," she bragged loudly.

"We'll see about that," winking seductively at the brunette. Lexa giggled as she watched the girl energetically belting out a Taylor Swift song. And soon after she started singing her heart out, flinging her arms everywhere. Today is gonna be a good day.

\----------------------

"O, today's Clarke's birthday isn't?" Raven asked looking at the the tiny girl who was leaning against a muscular tanned man.

"Oh yeah! I forgot to mention it! Did you greet her yet?" Octavia inquired, hopping off Lincoln by the arm chair and scooted closer to Raven on the sofa.

"I did. I tried calling her but as usual voicemail. I texted her instead. Do you think Lexa knows?" Looking at Octavia curiously.

"I don't know. Well she better be, they're best friends after all," Octavia muttered grabbing the remote flicking through the channels.

"You think they're still best friends after a year of no communication? Seems a little strained to me," Raven murmured disapprovingly. Octavia laid her head over Raven's lap and shrugged her shoulder.

"O! Where's the salt?" Anya called out, ransacking the Blake's cardboard.

"Last cardboard on the right!" O shouted back. She leaned against the back of the sofa watching Anya slicing potatoes, "Hey Anya, is Lexa coming later for dinner?"

"Lexa's out with Costia." Raven grunted uninterestingly. O slid down the sofa and whistled.

"Is she serious?"

"Lexa's being all objective about it. She said she's being 'open minded'." Raven remarked sarcastically leaving a quotation marks in the air.

"So..." Anya strolled by, "whatever is her decision is. We will respect it," Anya interjected peering over at Raven and Octavia.

"Hey Linc, can you help me buy salt in the store? The Blake's ran out of it."

"Sure! Anything else?" Lincoln asked jumping to his feet, who seemed to be pretty delighted being out of the heated conversation that was about to happen.

Anya shook her head and watched him closed the front door with a thud. Then she slowly focused her eyes over the two figures, who seemed to be eyeing her with bizarre looks. Anya instantly smiled sweetly and gently sat down on the coffee table in front of the girls. Raven and Octavia knew what was about to come down. They knew this look all too well.

Before anything was uttered, "We will behave ourselves, A. We promise," Octavia promised with her hand in the air like a scouts honour.

"Good! You're catching up very well. Let's just keep this a peaceful and quiet dinner. Agree?" narrowing her eyes over at Raven.

"What?" the girl asked feeling hurt, "Why is she always giving me that look?" Raven inquired turning to Octavia, who undoubtedly chuckling.

"Because you really can't keep your mouth shut, that's why," Anya declared sarcastically.

"Oohh is that sarcasm I hear?" Raven rebutted sarcastically grinning deviously at Anya, "Touche!"

Anya rolled her eyes on her and gave another warning look. Raven freely moved her fingers across her mouth as if she was zipping her mouth shut.

"Great. Lexa and Costia will be coming in an hour. So please make them feel welcome and just shut it with side comments about you know who," Anya added as she skipped back to the kitchen.

\-------------------

Riiinnggg

Riingggg

"Hello?" Clarke answered groggily, trying to wipe away the sleep in her eyes.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CLARKE!!!" Clarke immediately pulled away her phone from her ear and flinched.

"Thanks, Wells. Wick and Maya with you?" She definitely heard more than one voice greeting her.

"Yupp, We're still at the bar. You're missing all the fun, Clarke." Wells insinuated.

"No, thank you. I would rather lie down snuggling on my bed after work. Today was a disaster, been awake for 19 hours straight. I'm dying," Clarke murmured desperately, hugging her pillow.

Wells hummed, "Then I guess we will see you tomorrow then. Have a good rest. Goodnight, Clarke."

Clarke hummed and ended the call. She tossed on her bed and made herself comfortable.

"Happy birthday, Princess," Finn muttered huskily, smiling charmingly as he scooted closer to the blonde.

"Thanks, Finn," The blonde lazily smiled, giving Finn a peck on the lips.

The blonde snuggled closer on his bare chest, feeling their body heat together and slowly finding herself forming a smile as sleep gradually engulfing her.

\-------------------

"What?" Raven hissed at the tiny girl, looking up from her phone.

"Look," Octavia whispered, watching the two figures as they approached the dining table.

Raven followed her gaze and tsk-ed, " This is not what I've expected."

Lexa and Costia approached the table grinning at them from ear to ear.

"Lex! Welcome back, its been months," Raven beamed at the brunette. She couldn't help but examine the girls back and forth. She nodded at Costia and dived back down to her phone.

"I know, its good to be back," Lexa uttered, pulling out a chair for Costia.

Raven definitely didn't missed the gesture, she sighed internally and looked up.

"Nice shirts," Octavia smirked, Lexa looked at her weirdly till she looked down.

"Oh!" Then laughed nervously.

Costia stood proudly and stretched out her shirt that has a half printed rainbow heart on it. Whereas, Lexa having the other half of the rainbow heart and with them standing together side by side, it forms a full rainbow heart. Lexa averted away from the two girls feeling shy and self-conscious.

"Very nice, Lex!" Raven winked at the brunette, who in return stuck out her tongue at her. "Ouw!" Raven grimaced at the pain on her leg and automatically looked at Anya who was giving her a large ominous beady eyes.

"Let's eat shall we!" Anya excitedly announced, clapping her hands together.

All the girls immersed themselves on the Meatloaf and Creamy Potato Salad in a gloomy silence. Nobody's speaking but only the constant sound of utensils clanking on plates. Not until Bellamy arrived and went grumbling on about his awful day.

"What are we having?" Bellamy asked as he inspected the food laid out on the dinner table. He took a plate from the dishwasher and helped himself a serving.

"Ah, this is good, Anya," he muttered shoving another spoon full in his mouth,"oh yeah! I almost forgot, today's Clarke's birthday isn't?"

Clank!

Thud!

Everybody turned to Lexa, who coolly dived down grabbing her fallen fork on the floor.

Clearing her throat, "Sorry..." and continued forking down some more meatloaf in her already full mouth. Play it cool, Lex.

"I talked to her this afternoon she was pretty psyched. Her friends threw her a surprise party. Her boyfriend planned everything out, they had this massive..." Bellamy continued with the story but the brunette's brain already stopped functioning upon hearing the word

'Boyfriend'. Clarke? Have a boyfriend?... Of course she does, its already been a year Lex. She's moving on. And you should too. Lexa clutched her fork and knife tighter than she should. She could really thought that her eyes will start emitting lasers and burn down the left over meatloaf on her plate.

"Lexa?" Costia nudged the girl back to reality, looking at her with pure concern in her eyes, "You feeling okay?"

"Perfect! Never better," The brunette was even surprised with the words that came out of her mouth, it was as if it's almost true.

"She said she's coming back..." Bellamy continued.

"What?!" Lexa blurted out too quickly, Bellamy looked at her carefully and nodded.

"Next month, she said her contract with the hospital was ending and she's coming back to school," He announced, pondering whether if its a great idea that the girls were hearing it from him and not from Clarke.

She's coming back. She's coming back... Lexa swallowed her lingering thoughts of the blonde. She have been working hard to get rid of things that would remind her of the girl. She tried dating, and by dating she meant Costia. She looked at the girl beside her, who was wringing her fingers nervously under the table. Lexa took her hands on her lap and smiled at her sincerely. This does not changed the fact that Clarke was still on Lexa's mind every waking day. And even at night, her dreams was even worst, it was as if the blonde was there with her.

\-------------------

Later that night, Lexa knew it was coming. The tension in the car was growing every second, she glanced at the girl on her side who seemed pretty passive. But she knew too well what was going on inside Costia's mind. They bluntly bid their goodbyes and as she was about to stepped out of the car...

"Clarke is coming back, Lex. What are you gonna do?" Costia asked in a monotone voice, Lexa sat back down on the seat and studied the girl. Costia was avoiding her eyes. Lexa rubbed her forehead and closed her eyes for a second.

"Honestly, I don't know... I said I will give this a shot, Cos. I stick to my words." Looking at the girl determinedly. Costia turned her head towards the brunette and smiled, but not the kind of smile that reaches her eyes. Not the usual contagious smile that Lexa loves seeing. Lexa leaned closer giving the girl a tight hug.

"Goodnight, Cos," rubbing the girl's back.

"Goodnight Lex," she whispered.

\----------------------

Lexa stripped off her shirt and slipped in on a new one, then slowly unbuttoned her jeans and purposely pulled it off her tanned and muscled toned legs. Something slipped off from the back pocket. She took it with her bony hands and stared at the picture. She found herself staring at the picture of herself and Clarke grinning widely, arms over each other.

She remembered that day, it was the day she and Clarke went back hiking at the very same place as before. They took a selfie back at the quarry, it was a fun day. Lexa suddenly laughed remembering teaching the blonde how to ride a bike again. All the jokes and stories they told each other.

She always kept that picture in her back pocket every single day. Its not that she always looks at it but maybe its just a simple fact that she could almost feel like she can do anything. The picture gave her this strength to do the things that she thought she couldn't. The way that the blonde always do for her. A way to keep her close too. Lexa lifted her head up to the ceiling and breathe out steadily. She rapidly blinked a few times, trying to sink back the tears that was about to come. Not tonight,Lex. Not tonight.

\----------------------

* A month later*

"Shit!" Lexa threw over her blanket and sprinted towards the bathroom, giving herself a quick 5 minutes shower.

Argh! Why didn't I hear my alarm? She immediately grabbed a banana from the kitchen counter and stormed out of the house. She dashed towards the bus stop, No! No, no, no... She ran faster and faster, trying to catch the bus. She hopped onto the entrance and panted heavily.

"Thank you..." she panted, pulling out some cash and flopped down on a vacant seat by the window. Lexa took out her phone and checked her alarm, Seriously? The brunette groaned in annoyance realising that she set her alarm on a 'pm', instead of 'am.' She pinched the bridge of her nose and sink back the seat.

Riiiinggg Riiiinggg

Riiiinggg Riiiinggg

Lexa answered her phone, "Lex! Where are you? Class is already starting, you better get your butt over here," Octavia cussed.

"I'm sorry I overslept. I'll be there soon, just tell Mr drone-bot to put our group in the end. I'm really sorry, O." Lexa relentlessly apologises.

"Fine. Hurry up!"

"Okay, okay" Lexa ended the call and started reciting mentally the things that she have to remember.

\----------------------

(9:10) Octavia B.: Lexa!!! Where the hell are you?! We're up in 5. If you're not here by then, we're gonna start without you!

Lexa shoved her phone back to her bag and bolted through the campus gate, across the corridor, she waited for the elevator to reach level 1. Dang it! Argh! Screw this. She ran towards the staircase and sprinted six flights of stairs towards the classroom. Why do you have to be at the 6th floor?

The brunette stood outside the door for a millisecond and opened slowly, trying to pant out her shortness of breath. She bowed her head down keeping her sudden appearance to the least attention of the audience and sat down at the nearest chair. Great! My part isn't up yet.

Octavia eyed her menacingly, "Sorry" the brunette mouthed.

"We have seen many corporate companies possesses leaders that portrays different types of styles... Lexa? Would you be kind to explain?" Anya asked smiling at the brunette.

Lexa nodded determinedly and took a deep breath. She walked up to the front and studied the powerpoint slides before facing the audience.

"Thank-"

The brunette stumbled in her words, it seems like the cat got her tongue. The confidence and positive vibe was not drained out and replaced by cold sweat and dry throat.

Clarke...

"Lexa..." Anya nudges her back to reality, "Relax. Concentrate. Time is running out,"

The brunette tore her gaze away from the blonde, swallowing away the big lump in her throat and the chills that was creeping under her skin. Get your had in the game, Lexa. Ignore her. Ignore her. She scanned the crowd who seemed to be boring their eyes on her drearily. You can do this Lexa.

The brunette nodded, cleared her throat and started presenting. The girl started her part without giving the blonde another look. Little less did she knew that the girl will be back in class so soon. Lexa can't ponder hard enough what will happen now. Now that the blonde is back.

"Thank you, girls. Please take your seats," Mr Drone-bot muttered monotonously, with much less interest on what he was doing.

Lexa reluctantly took her usual seat beside Clarke, who unnervingly didn't moved an inch from her very spot. The brunette felt a pat on her shoulder and looked behind, laying her eyes on Costia who was smiling widely at her.

"Great job!" She whispered. "Thanks, Cos," The brunette smiled back and scooted back on her sit. Giving a quick glance at Clarke, who seemed to be oddly quiet compared to the last time she saw her. A year ago... Yes, Lexa. A YEAR AGO.

She couldn't help but feel the familiar piercing gaze on her side. Lexa looked down on her hands under the table and tried to wipe away the cold sweat. Don't look, Lexa. Do. Not. Look. But of course, she never listens to her ambiguous mind. She took a quick peek and found herself breathless. Put yourself together, Lexa. She involuntarily shuddered, as she gazed back on those mesmerising blue eyes. The feeling... Feelings was never gone.

"Hi," Clarke greeted with a tinge of apprehension in her eyes.

"Hi," the brunette croaked, feeling amazed that she even have the courage to utter a word.

"It's been awhile," the blonde uttered, striking a smile.

"Awhile...," Lexa whispered, chuckling slightly at the words, "A year, Clarke," tearing her eyes away from the intense look that Clarke was giving her. "You're gone for a year."

\----------------

Clarke knew that this was coming for her. That her past will come and haunt her. But she misses it, looking at the girl. The girl that stole her heart. The girl who got herself doing stupid and ridiculous things. She noticed how the girl stumbled and stuttered in her words as the brunette laid eyes on her.

"Thank-"

She felt like the world stopped for a slight second, as their eyes met. Those green alluring eyes, those lips... Clarke took a gulp and immediately looked down. She knew she shouldn't have gone to school just yet. She should have stayed at home, just like what her mom said. She should have slept her day away. But knowing herself, the moment she landed in California this morning, the only thing she wanted to do was to see her.

Sleep deprived and too much coffee in her system, she covered her face with her twitching fingers. Is it really this cold in this classroom before? She could feel cold sweat forming on her hairline, she tried to wipe it off and watched the girl talk. Clarke tried to grab a glimpse from the girl, but none came. She's avoiding my eyes... Well serves you right after what you did. Clarke sighed and sat still as a rock, as Lexa sat down beside her.

Clarke felt the girl turned behind and she knew its that girl again, Costia. When she heard her voice, something within her trembled in rage. She tied her fingers around each other tightly and looked straight, pretending that this doesn't bother her anymore. The blonde felt the brunette's gaze, making all her hair stood up. Say something. She plucked all her courage and looked at the girl, she hitched a breath, forgetting how beautiful the girl was most especially inches from her.

Their eyes met...

"Hi," Clarke mumbled trying to look and sound normal.

"Hi," Lexa said. Seemingly a little strained for Clarke.

"It's been awhile," the blonde tried to flash a smile as if nothing has changed.

"Awhile...," Clarke heard the brunette said with a mixture of laughter. "A year, Clarke. You're gone for a year." The blonde watched the girl turned away from her. Her smile suddenly fades away from her lips, her eyebrows furrowed at the way the brunette spoke her words with much hatred and disinterest.

Clarke continued to steal glances at the brunette, in hope to catch her eyes again but she got her hopes up too high. I should have stayed at home. I should have gotten myself ready for this. The break came, the blonde's eyes couldn't stay open anymore, she laid on her table and immediately dozed off.

\----------------

"Is she asleep?" Octavia asked gawking at the unmoving blonde.

Raven hummed, munching on a piece of potato chip, "she got back this morning. She still haven't gotten any proper sleep yet. I told her to go home and get some sleep. But she doesn't want to... She wanted to see Lexa," eyeing the brunette who was chatting up with Costia.

Anya sighed and watched at the poor blonde, "How are they gonna fix this?"

Raven and Octavia shrugged.

CLAP!

The sound made Raven jumped and dropped her potato chip on the table, she looked at the tiny girl and hissed, "Seriously, O?"

Octavia put down her clapped hands and glared at Raven, "I have an idea! Master Plan 2.0! Yeah? Yeah?" Looking at Anya and Raven excitedly.

The two girls looked at each other trying to reconsider if its going to work or not. Thinking back all their failed attempts but then came into a major breakthrough with the play.

Raven shoved a handful of chips in her mouth and shrugged, "Hmmm, what harm can it do? I'm in."

Octavia jumped with glee and stared back at Anya, "Please Anya," she pleaded with puppy eyes and pouty lips.

Anya sighed loudly and said, "Why am I stuck with you people again? Fine. I'm in."

Octavia jumped off her chair and bounced up and down excitedly, clapping her hands.

"O please shut it! I'm trying to sleep. Please," Clarke groaned still not moving from her initial position.

Octavia sat back down quietly but still with large grin glued to her face.


	18. The End of Everything

Lexa suddenly diverted her eyes at Octavia who was jumping up and down. What's up with her? She snickered and smirking at the girl. Slowly she found her eyes landing on the sleeping blonde. Lexa sighed and put her attention back to Costia who was blabbering about something that the brunette wasn't really paying attention to.

All she could think about was the girl. Lexa froze in her place when she heard Raven said those words. She went to school because of you Lexa. She didn't get any sleep just to see you. The brunette felt her chest swelled up, making her stomach flipped with some unknown joy. But you're with Costia now. And simple as that her smile fades away from her lips.

"Class..." Mr Drone-bot ushering the class' attention back to the lesson.

Lexa sat down on her seat and looked at Clarke who was still unmoved. She wanted to wake her up but she doesn't wanna touch her or... speak to her. Childish... I know.

"You!" Mr Drone-bot called out looking at Lexa, "Please wake her up."

Lexa immediately nodded and shook Clarke awake, "Clarke wake up. Class is starting."

Clarke held her head up feeling groggy and drunk from lack of sleep. "I'm sorry... I'm just gonna go to the washroom to splash some water," as she stands up and took a step, she lost her balance. Lexa stood up to her rescue and caught Clarke by the waist, balancing her. Costia watched as the brunette hold the girl tightly and never once did she glanced her way. She felt her chest constrict but held her head high trying not to let the two figures affect her.

"You, accompany her to the washroom, please. We wouldn't want accidents to happen," the lecturer said as he waved them off.

Lexa looked at the girl with much concern in her eyes and as they exited out of the classroom, she could feel couple of eyes following them. The brunette shrugged it off and shouldered Clarke's arm over her shoulder, holding her tightly on her waist. Oh Clarke you really need to sleep.

As they stepped off the classroom, Clarke pulled herself away from the girl's grip and leaned against the wall for balance.

"Clarke... What are you doing?" Watching the blonde leaning against the wall trying to walk in straight line

Lexa sighed and took the girl by the waist and pull her to her side so that she's leaning against the brunette. Clarke squirmed from the grip, trying to free herself.

"For crying out loud, Clarke! Stop it! We will not reach the washroom if you keep fidgeting," Lexa gripped the girl tighter on the waist and quickly walked towards the washroom.

Lexa feels irritated by the girl's childish acts. How can she just come to school in this state? She rubbed her forehead and puffed at the side comment by her conscience. Just like you? Like 5 minutes ago? She leaned against the wall as she watch the blonde splash water on her face. She blinked a couple of times before saying a word.

"Clarke, you should head home. I don't think you can manage yourself today."

"I'm fine, Lexa. I can handle myself," Clarke murmured with an evident slurred in her voice.

She was gripping the sink for balance, despite that the water did helped her open her eyes wider, her mind still can't comprehend well. Clarke let go of the sink and found herself stumbling to her feet. Lexa sprinted towards the girl who heavily fell on her chest, the brunette felt her chest pounded against her ribcage as their body touched, the heat radiating from the girl's body only made things worst. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips. No, Lexa. Stop thinking about it. Focus on the situation. Bring Clarke home.

"Clarke you're going home whether you like it or not," With much stern and perseverance in her voice, trying to balance the fidgeting girl in her arms.

"Nooo..." Clarke groaned in annoyance, pushing herself away from the brunette.

Lexa couldn't take it anymore, she flared her nostrils and pushed the girl against the wall. Her face was inches from the blonde. She could feel the sudden heavy breathing of the blonde. Lexa stared down at her with much intensity, her nostrils still flaring. Her heart pounds loudly in her eardrums. Her throat was as dry as a desert. She tried not to get fazed up by the blue eyes staring back at her with much persistence. Don't let her get to you, Lexa. Don't get affected by those eyes nor your close proximity. Regardless the fact that Clarke was now glancing on her lips, she held her head high and aggregately said,

"You listen to me Clarke. You will go home. I can't focus in class seeing you like this."

"Why would you care? huh? Then don't look at me. Simple! Look at somebody else... Look at Costia, for all I care!" Clarke choked out holding the fierce gaze between them.

"What? What is this now, Clarke?" Lexa asked, still pushing the girl against the wall.

"Nothing... " Averting her eyes from the brunette.

"What?" Lexa demanded, searching for the girl's eyes.

Clarke chuckled and looked at the girl straight in the eyes and spatted, "Go be with Costia."

Lexa loosened her grip over the girl and faltered, avoiding the blonde's harsh gazes. She gulped down her guilt and stared at the floor.

"Omg. You're with Costia. You're... " Clarke was lost for words, her mind was unbelievably wide awake right now. She laughed menacingly, hearing herself utter those words it seems like the most absurd thing she ever said. The blonde shook her head in blue, studying the brunette's expression

"Clarke..." Lexa whispered defeatedly.

Clarke stood fully now, regaining back her balance though she was still a bit groggy. She held her hands up stopping the girl from talking.

"I get it. Maybe that's why you ignored my email. You were with her," narrowing her eyes at the girl, ignoring the fact that the brunette was about to cry or the fact that she was the one who left the brunette hanging.

Lexa shook her head in forlorn, she gulped down the large lump on her throat and blurted out a strained laugh.

"I can't believe this is happening." She held her head and stared at the blonde, "Are you blaming me for being with Costia? Are you blaming me for not replying your email? Clarke let's just make this clear, YOU'RE the one who left. You left me hanging. YOU'RE the one who broke my heart and left me feeling stupid about myself... because I fell for a girl who broke down my walls. A girl who happily skipped through the door and when things get tough, she just ran out and left without a word..." Lexa breathed hard, feeling herself as if she just ran a mile. She could feel her whole body shook in anger. " No, Clarke, you don't get to play the blame game." Shaking her head at the blonde and broke down in tears. Lexa took a deep breath and realised that herself was in tears too.

"Lexa I did that because of what happened to me! You think I wanted this? You think I wanted my head to erase every fucking memories of you? No! I did it because I neededtime. I can't face you Lexa with this things that I can't even understand. You're my best friend and damn it, Lexa, I don't want to ruin that. Hell knows how scared I was. Scared what if you didn't feel the same way. What if you just got carried away by the moment that's why we ended up ki-..." Clarke covered her face with her trembling hands. The brunette wanted to hug her, to pull her in her arms and make things better but she knew that it was far from the truth.

"I... I... I've got a lot of things to understand... to learn about myself. I've done stupid things back in New York. Things that I've regretted because I wanted to forget aboutthis. But it made me realised that I... Can't. I can't runaway anymore from the people who actually cares about me, or from the person who loves... loved me. But Lexa... I'm here. I'm back." Clarke took the girl's hands, gripping it tightly and never letting go.

"I'm not gonna leave anymore. Lexa... Please... I need you," Clarke pleaded with stress in every words that came out of her lips. She stares at those green eyes with much anguish and hurt. The blonde breathed heavily as tears continuously pouring over her blue eyes. Please Lexa. I can't give up.

"Clarke... Don't do this." Lexa pleaded as she watch the blonde, the strongest person she knew broke down and cry. "I'm with Costia now. She loves me..."

"I know... I know,"

"She loves me at my worst. You had me at my best. But you chose ignored it and left."

"Lexa, is that how you really think of me?... I just made a choice,"

"And you chose to break my heart."

This is the end. You've lost Lexa "FOREVER". Clarke nodded cause she knew... She knew what she did. There's no denying that she hurt the girl in front of her. She wiped her tears that kept forcing their way out of her eyes. She gritted her teeth feeling heavyhearted and sick to her stomach.

"Clarke?..." Octavia came through the door, looking at the two figures who seemed to be looking detached.

Clarke quickly wiped away the tears from her cheeks and looked at Octavia as perky as she can muster.

"Hey!" Smiling at the tiny girl with enthusiasm.

"Uumm... You feeling okay? I was worried, so I came and check on you," eyeing Lexa on the corner of her eyes, who was turning away from them.

"Yes, uumm I'm not feeling too well, O. Do you mind sending me home?" Clarke looked at her hopefully.

Octavia nodded, "Okay. I'll just grab our bags. Stay here,"

Without any word, Lexa walked past Octavia and stormed out of the ladies. Octavia was about to say something but Clarke gave her a warning look, "Just don't."

\-----------------

"I think we have to postpone our plan." Octavia muttered looking bereaved.

"Why? What happened?" Raven asked curiously.

"They had a confrontation in the washroom. I don't think it went well. I don't want to interfere anymore if its that serious," Looking at Anya and Raven.

"You're probably right," Raven sighed.

"Let's just wait for them to fix it themselves. There's nothing much we can do now. Costia is involved in this," Anya grumbled holding Raven's eyes.

Raven never thought that this was as serious as it gets. She wanted Costia to be happy more than anything. But she can't handle seeing Clarke hurting because all of this. Raven crossed her arms and leaned against her chair. She have to learn to control her mind from overtaking her hands in doing something that she will regret. Control, Raven. Control.

\-----------------

*2 months later*

Lexa got down from the car and waited for Costia to lock the car. Costia walked up to her and intertwined their hands together. Costia smiled at her warmly, making Lexa smiled back at her. The brunette bit her inner cheek as they enter the Blake's apartment.

"Hey! Cos, Lex! You guys are finally here. It's been months since you last joined our dinner," Raven beamed at them, ushering them towards the dining table. "Take a seat."

"Well thank you for coming to my birthday," Anya said thankfully peering at the two girls.

"Of course, we don't wanna miss you turning older and older," Lexa smirked at her.

Anya smacked her on the arms playfully, "Only by 2 years. Jeez!"

Making Costia, Lexa and Raven laughing. Octavia and Lincoln emerged out of the kitchen, balancing and preventing the candle from blowing out. Everybody gathered around Anya and sang,  
"Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday to you... Happy birthday Anya~~~" Everybody chorused cheerfully, clapping their hands together.

"Go on make a wish," Raven nudged her.

Anya closed her eyes for a moment and blowed her candle. Everybody cheered and gave Anya a peck on the cheek.

"Okay! Let's all dig in. I'm starving!" Anya announced, grabbing herself a serving of the food laid out in front of her.

Knock Knock

Knock Knock

Raven stood up and walked to the door and unlocked it, Bellamy walked through the door, panting really hard.

"Hey Rae, I saw Clarke outside," Bellamy mentioned with worried painted on his face.

Raven looked at Lexa and apologises,

"I'm really sorry, Lex. I didn't know. I thought she went back to New York,"

"It's okay, Rae." The brunette smiled convincingly, Lexa took Costia's hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Well this is gonna be interesting," Octavia whispered.

"Octavia..." Anya hissed at her acutely.

"Knock Knock!" Clarke emerged out of the front door and smiled at Bellamy and Raven.

"Clarke! Where have been you? I haven't seen you in months!" Raven exclaimed still feeling a little eluded, hugging her.

Bellamy gave Clarke a huge hug and said, "I thought you went back to New York. Heard you didn't came back to class. Naughty girl," playfully reprimanding Clarke.

Clarke laughed and walked up to Anya, "Hey Anya, Happy Birthday!" Hugging her and pecking her on the cheeks.

Octavia came swooping in, "Mama G.!" hugging her tightly,

"Hey you..." Clarke laughed happily, chuckling at the tiny girl in her arms.

Clarke turned around and her eyes landed on Lexa,

"Clarke," nodding at the blonde.

Clarke smiled, "Lexa."

Costia stood up and beamed at Clarke, "Hey Clarke."

Clarke's smile slowly turned into a faint, and found herself staring at those brown eyes. The tension filled the dining room. Nobody said a word. All eyes were on Clarke and Costia. Do something Clarke.

Silence

"Anyaaaaa!!!" Monty came bursting in from the front door, followed by Jasper juggling large gifts in their arms. "Happy birthday!!!" The two boys chorused, breaking the awkward silence.

Anya looked at Monty and Jasper in surprise and looked around the room. Anya cleared her throat and clapped her hands together.

"Monty! Jasper! Thank you! Come join us!" Ushering the two to sit down.

"Clarke why don't you take a seat. Come on everybody. Let's enjoy the night... Peacefully." Eyeing everybody, "Please..." in a whisper more to herself.

\-------------------

"Rae, give me another glass," Clarke muttered in a faint slurred.

"Clarke I think you had enough," Raven scolded grabbing the wine bottle that Clarke was about to reach.

Clarke put down her wine glass and sighed... groaned, more like a mixture of both. "Seriously, Raven!" glaring at the girl. "Fine," the blonde puffed.

"So..." Anya studying Clarke, "What have you been up to these days Clarke?"

Clarke looked at Anya and realised that all eyes were on hers, the blonde finished her wine and cleared her throat, "I've been working at the hospital. They gave me a full time job and I'm also been studying part time. So I could still get my qualifications,"

"Wow! That's great, Clarke!" Octavia proclaimed patting the blonde on the back. Clarke smiled at her appreciatively and went back grabbing a wine bottle without Raven's notice.

"How about you Lexa? I heard you've been pretty busy with your dad's business. You've been missing a lot lessons," peeking at the brunette.

Lexa laughed and replied, "My dad's been training me to get used to the work cycle. He's been bringing me to his business meeting, getting to know the clients and his partners. It's something new but-"

"But its not what you always wanted to do, isn't? " Clarke mumbled as a matter of fact, finishing the brunette's sentence. All eyes landed on Clarke but the blonde did not faltered. She held the girl's gaze for the longest time as if they were the only one in the room.

Lexa furrowed her eyebrows and flared her nostrils, "Why? Can't I?"

"It's not that you can't. I just thought you always wanted to follow your dreams. But I guess you wanted different things now right?" Clarke spoke with sarcasm, diverting her eyes to Costia.

"Sometimes new things are for the better," Costia challenged, defending the girl beside her.

Clarke chuckled to herself and nodded, "Seems like it. Right, Lexa?" the blonde bluntly replied turning her eyes again to the brunette.

Once again, the room was filled with deafening silence that you could almost hear a drop of a pin on the floor. Clarke's eyes were on Lexa giving each other sparks and intensity that nobody dares to interfere. Costia looked back and forth between the two girls, feeling her stomach dropped. This is not what she wanted. The girl took a deep breath and held Lexa's hand on the table, who seemed to be clenching too tightly till her knuckles turned as white as paper.

Clarke fell her gaze towards the small gesture and turned her eyes away from the two. What are you doing Clarke? You're ruining Anya's birthday. She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled, trying to calm herself down. She stood up from her seat and apologises to Anya.

"I'm sorry Anya. I think I better go. I'm sorry for ruining your birthday. This was a bad idea." Clarke mumbled and started walking out of the dining area.

"Running away again?" Clarke stood rooted to her ground. She clenched her fists tightly, trying to calm herself down.

"Lexa... Sometimes you have to accept defeat and walk away... To prevent anybody else from getting hurt." Clarke quickly stormed out of the front door into the streets and ran. Never turning back.

\-------------------

The atmosphere was hazy, the tension and quiet car ride was deafening. But Lexa couldn't care less, she have enough things in her mind to occupy her time. Her annoyance has permanently came back on her face as she watch houses and trees blurred past the car.

Costia looked at the brunette with pure concern, she took the girl's hand into hers, making Lexa looked at her. Costia smiled contagiously, making Lexa smiled back but it does not reach the eyes. Costia noticed this. I have to say something. She stopped the car in front of the brunette's gate and they stayed motionless for a moment longer.

No sound were made but only by their steady breathing and the consistent hum of the car engine. Costia wrung her fingers, thinking of words to say. She sighed and closed her eyes, without realising tears had escaped rolling down on her rosy cheeks.

"Do you still want this?" Costia whispered shakily, peeking at Lexa.

Lexa looked at the girl in shock, but slowly her expression turned gentle and remorse. Costia mirrored her expression with much more pain.

"I'm sorry, Cos," Lexa shook her head relentlessly, taking the girl's hands into hers. The brunette took her hands and placed on her cheeks, breathing really hard as tears started falling from her eyes.

"I tried, Costia," Lexa sobbed uncontrollably, "I really did..." Looking back at the girl.

Costia took away her hands and wiped away the tears that has fallen from her eyes. She chuckled and looked away. "I know you did... Lexa... I wish I could tell you I love you everyday until you don't feel the things that hurt. I wish I could take them away. I wish It could be done, Lex... But it can't,"

"Costia..." Lexa whispered in grief.

"I really wish I can, Lex... But you won't let me. You won't let me in." Costia took another deep breath, "Because I know somebody was still inside there," pointing at Lexa's heart.

"Lexa... Just tell me. Do you still want this?"

Lexa pursed her lips and wiped away the tears in her eyes. She sobbed uncontrollably as she stares back at the girl in front of her. She was still speechless. She doesn't know what to say. Do you still want this, Lexa?... You already know the answer to that.

Costia spoke again, "Do you love me?"

Lexa was caught surprised by the question, "you know I do," she whispered.

Costia furrowed her eyesbrows fighting back another stream of tears threatening to break free. "Do you still love her?"

Lexa turned mute. Her throat turned dry as sandpaper. She doesn't want to answer that because deep inside she knows the answer. "Cos, I'm really sorry. I don't want to hurt you..."

Costia's expression changed, she already knew the answer but hearing the brunette avoiding the question only made her feel worse. "Do you still love her, Lexa?" She asked again with stern and determination.

Lexa stared back at her with red eyes, she buried her face on her shaking hands and sobbed violently. "I'm sorry, Costia." She muffled.

The girl hastily wiped away her tears, she felt her stomach dropped down on a big black hole. She wanted to shout at the girl. She wanted to chase her away. But she can't because she loves the girl so dearly.

"Lexa, I don't want to stand my way between you and what you wanted. You know I'm not that kind of girl. So I'm telling you right now. If you wanted something do whatever it takes to get it. Show them. Grab their attention."

Lexa looked up to her in confusion.

"Lexa I don't want to see you hurt anymore. I love you too much to be selfish. If you love someone you have to set them free because that's what makes them happy. So that's what I'm going to do." Costia looked at Lexa's eyes, "I'm setting you free, Lexa. I want you to be happy."

"Costia..." Lexa uttered still lost for words.

"So please don't waste your time," Costia tried to flash a smile, "Now get out of my car before I changed my mind." Looking away from the stunned brunette.

Lexa slowly and carefully stepped out of the car and closed the door behind her. Costia drove off, watching the brunette through the rear mirror as she slowly fades away. This is the right thing to do Costia. You've made the right choice. The girl couldn't take it anymore, and left a loud sob, pounding and punching on the steering wheel countless times. How much she wished that the physical hurt would overwhelm the hurt and agonising pain seeping through her heart.


	19. The Start of Everything

*3 months later*

"Clarke," Mr Wallace called out.

"Mr Wallace!" turning towards the CEO.

"Can I see you in my office?" Mr Wallace summoned.

Clarke nodded and quietly followed the head doctor of Capitol General Hospital.

As they arrived at his office, Mr Wallace waved for Clarke to sit down. Clarke interwined her fingers to prevent it from twitching nervously. Youre gonna be fine. Relax. She kept repeating this over and over again until Mr Wallace sat down on his swivel chair and faced the blonde.

"Clarke, I have a proposition for you. I read from your resume that youve had an internship in New York," Mr Wallace coolly said.

Clarke nodded and narrowed her eyes, waiting for the real reason why was she summoned.

"I know that internship in New York has one of the finest trainings. They will drill you down into having a mindset... And I want that here in my hospital," Mr Wallace intertwined his fingers on the table and studied Clarke. " I want you Clarke to help and facilitate the programme for interns. You will be working with Heda Supply Chain. Can I trust you in that?" He narrowed his eyes, challenging the blonde.

Heda Supply Chain? Mr Heda! "Yes! Definitely, sir. You can count on me," nodding with determination.

It had been awhile since she saw Mr Heda and she was rather feeling excited for their imminent meeting. She misses the big bushy man, she unconsciously chuckled to herself. Attracting Mr Wallace's attention.

"Something to matter Clarke?" Raising his eye brow.

"No,sir. I just happen to know Mr Heda. You can trust me on this, sir. I will do the best I can to help."

"Good! You're mom was right about you. You are a very determined and hard working. Made me laugh actually when she said open quote 'make Clarke's life a living hell'" the man laughed heartily, and hearing that, made Clarke laugh nervously. Thinking that the frail old man might break a bone in his body at how hard he laughed.

"Well thank you, Clarke. You may go," nodding at the blonde.

Clarke nodded back and walked out of his office. This is going to be exciting! She skipped happily towards the east wing, laughing to herself as nurses and patients watched her funnily.

\----------

*2 days later*

"Lexa! We're leaving!" Gustus bellowed from the bottom of the stairs. "I'll meet you in the car."

Lexa quickly took one good look at herself and ran down the stairs. First day. First programme. First facilitating. You can do this Lexa!

As Lexa climbed in the car, Gustus peeked at her, "Are you ready Alexandria? This is the first time I'm going to let you do this on your own."

"Yes, dad. I'm ready," nodding her head with much perseverance. Gustus smiled and nodded back. This is going to be a good day.

\-----------

"Mr Wallace, Goodmorning! Its nice seeing you again. Its a pleasure!" Gustus greeted shaking the old man's bony hand.

"Mr Heda! And I you. Everything is settled. Everything had been manually handled as you've requested," Mr Wallace mumbled with glimmer in his eyes.

Gustus smiled and nodded back. He knows what he is doing. This is good. This is good for Lexa. The two gentleman strode off towards the conference hall as they roamed through the growing crowd of interns. This better work.

\-----------

"Goodmorning interns! How are you all doing today? Are you excited to start our programme?" The speaker excitedly announced.

The crowd went wild, loud pandemonium resounded throughout the conference room. Clarke grinned ear to ear watching fresh faces happily cheering and smiling.

"You will be split into 3 groups, 2 facilitators and an instructor will be attached in each group. Group 1 - Vincent, Jones and Drew group 2 - Penn, Atom and Roma and group 3 - Jackson, Lexa and Clarke. Please go to your respective groups - instructors and facilitators. Guys! Enjoy your day! Ill see you later in the day."

Lexa immediately, scanned the crowd. No it cant be. Cold shivers creeped down her spine, as she wrinkled her forehead pretending not to search for the familiar blonde head. The brunette casually walked up to the interns and greeted them cheerfully, introducing herself. Thats when she found herself being attracted in the corner of her eye.

She casually turned to that direction and found the blonde staring at her. Lexa tried not to get distracted by those blue eyes again, she turned away but uncontrollably overheard her conversation.

\------------

"Nathan Miller," a guy walked up to Clarke and reached out his hand.

"Clarke Griffin," the blonde mumbled. Lexa looked at the two and clenched her jaw.

"You seems young," Miller hinted winking at Clarke. The blonde chuckled and continued talking to the intern. Lexa averted her gaze from them and puffed. Seriously, Clarke? Him? The brunette bit her inner cheeks and walked up to the two.

"Hi, I'm Lexa." she introduced enthusiastically," And aren't you suppose to be some place else?" Smiling at the guy very sweetly. Miller gapped at Lexa and nodded, walking away from the two ladies.

Clarke narrowed her eyes at Lexa and said, "Was that even necessary? He was asking me about my work in New York. You don't have to chase him away,"

"Right. And next thing you knew he'll be asking you out." The brunette mentioned stoically. "Work is work, Clarke. Please focus."

Lexa urgently walked away, leaving the blonde astounded. What is her problem? Clarke gritted her teeth and stared menacingly at Lexa's frizzy hair. Unbelievable. She stalked behind the brunette and Jackson whisking the interns towards the west wing.

\--------

Clarke suddenly felt a heavy weight on her shoulder. She turned around and shrieked with joy. She gave Gustus a huge hug and laughed.

"Mr Heda! Omg, How are you?" Beaming at Gustus, looking at him carefully.

Gustus laughed resoundingly, "Excellent! How have you been? Been busy I heard," smirking at the blonde.

Clarke grinned and went on a full conversation, filling him up with her life back in New York. Things between them hadn't changed at all, as if Clarke never left Capitol. She hoped she could say the same with Lexa but she knew better.

Gustus turned his back on Clarke and mumbled, "I'll be back. Gotta grab me more those cream puffs. Delicious little devils!" he chuckled as he meandered around interns who were having their lunch.

Clarke forked around her veggies and sighed. Wonder where's Lexa? She discreetly looked around under her lashes for a big curly brown hair loitering around. She tsk-ed and restlessly poke on her carrot till her eyes landed on those well sculptured profile.

Lexa was standing by the water fountain, drinking. Clarke strained her eyes as she watched the girl, lingering her gaze to her chin down to her neck and watch it waved down on those delicate skin. This made the blonde unconsciously gulped, feeling a sudden cold rush of wind blew all over her body. Feeling a jolt of electricity shot through her nerves as she thoughtlessly stares at the brunette wiping her wet chin with the back of her hand. Or the way her wet lips form a straight line as she padded down on those well chiselled jaw line. Clarke bit her lips...

"Great view huh," Gustus whispered on Clarke's ear, smirking at her as he slowly walked across her field of vision.

Clarke quickly let go of her lips as he held gaze with Gustus who snickeringly walked across the hall, giving the blonde the raised eye brow. Seriously? You too? The blonde shook her head in ridicule, looking around again because the girl was gone from her initial position by the water fountain.

"Saw something you like?" Clarke turned around and found Lexa towering over her. She inevitably took a step back from their closeness and gapped at the girl.

"Is that a yes?" Lexa asked boldly, taking advantage of the blonde's reaction.

Clarke recovered back from her gapped mouth and broke into a coy smile. She stepped within Lexa's personal space and seductively whispered on her ears, "You know I do," slightly brushing her lips on the brunette's sensitive skin.

Lexa gulped. Despite drinking a second ago, her throat rapidly dried up as she catches the blonde's blue eyes shining under the fluorescent lights.

"Enlighten me," the brunette stated expectedly, trying ti fight back the urge to grab the girl.

"What do you wanna hear?" As Clarke playfully watch those tantalising green eyes lingering on hers, "The way your lips touch..." looking down on Lexa's red pouty lips, "or the way I..." the blonde fadedly whisper, as she alluringly twirls her fingers on the curly locks on the brunette's shoulder.

Get a hold of yourself, Lexa. The brunette clenched her hands into a fist, ignoring the weird sensation between her legs. As she stares down on the blonde's fingers intertwining with her hair, she pursed her lips for a second and let go a light breath. Trying not to attract the blonde's attention at how she was hyperventilating at their closeness. Or how her lilac smell suffocates Lexa's mind every breath.

"Ms Griffin are you flirting with me?" Lexa asked with a tint of slyness.

Clarke looked at her, shocked. She quickly took a step back, as she let go of the brunette's hair and shook her head, "Of course not, Ms Heda. Work is work isn't?" winking at Lexa before sauntering off through the crowd.

Get your head straight, Lexa... Damn it, Clarke! You are so doing this on purpose! Lexa bit her inner cheek too hard because she started to taste blood on the wall of her mouth. She grimaced by the metallic taste and cussed at how frivolous the blonde can be. But you liked it, didn't you. Lexa flared her nostrils and huffed loudly, "What are you doing, Lexa?" castigating herself.

\------------

Clarke zigzagged around the crowd of interns until she can feel that the brunette's eyes were off her shoulders. She leaned against the white wall and forcefully breathe out. She lifted her hands on her eye-level and watch it buzz in excitement. She can't believe she just did that... Did I just flirted with Lexa? Clarke bit her lips as laughter was about to escape from her thin lips. She can't believe what she just did. It was bold and shocking, something that Clarke never thought she could do... Especially to Lexa. Clarke covered her mouth with her hand so that nobody can see her stupid grin plastered on her lips. She crinkled her nose, feeling the jittery and bubbling sensation sizzling in her stomach. Wow.

\------------

"You wanna play, Clarke? Bring it on," Lexa mumbled to herself challengingly, as she watch the blonde slowly fades away among the crowd. She flared her nostrils one last time and walked off towards where the blonde disappeared to.

\-----------

"Clarke!"

Clarke turned her head and found Miller beaming at her.

"Hey Miller, have you eaten?" She asked.

Miller nodded and thrust out a plate of fruits, "want some?"

Clarke smiled and willingly took a slice of an apple. Miller eyed the girl in the corner of her eyes and asked, "where's your girlfriend?"

Clarke choked, almost gagging out the piece of fruit. The blonde swallowed the remaining fruit in her mouth and chuckled, shaking her head.

"What are you talking about, Miller?"

"Lexa. She's been staring at you practically the whole day," grinning at Clarke playfully. Miller elbowed Clarke and nodded at a direction.

Sure enough Clarke caught a brooding Lexa turning her head away form them. The blonde couldn't help but feel her stomach flipped a somersault. Pursing her lips to prevent any goofy smile from emerging, she turned to Miller and laughed.

Miller looked at her weirdly but laughed with her together.

\-----------

Lexa watched the two figures in her peripheral view, heads close to each other, smiling and laughing. The brunette crossed her arms and tapped her foot. Don't do it Lexa. You cant just walked up there, without a reason... Actually you do.... But Clarke doesn't know that you and Costia broke up.

Lexa rubbed her forehead and watch the clock ticks. "Come on..." Waiting for the time till the interns have to go back for the programme. Finally!

"Interns! Hurdle up! Hope you've filled yourselves up we have a big day ahead of us. Follow me!" Jackson called out among the crowd.

Lexa stood behind the throng of interns and soon Clarke rejoined her. They looked at each other and nodded.

"Octavia mentioned about dinner tonight. You and Costia coming?" Clarke asked looking straight ahead.

"Are you gonna make a big scene again?" Lexa muttered not looking at Clarke too.

Clarke sighed, "Look Lexa, Im sorry I got caught up with this. I promise I wont make a scene. Just come. Please?" Looking at the brunette pleadingly.

Lexa gave her one swift glance and looked away. She was contemplating if she should tell the blonde about the break up or maybe it can still wait.

"Okay. I will be there," Lexa mumbled audibly.

Clarke smiled at her timidly and nodded. Directing her eyes back to the interns she thought to herself. Dont get overly dramatic now, Clarke. Prepare yourself for what you're about to see tonight. The blonde blew a breath as if chasing away all the hatred and jealousy out of her body. Tonight's gonna be a good night.

\-------------

"Clarke do you want to ride with me to Octavia's?" Lexa asked.

"Sure," Clarke mumbled as she looked around seemingly looking for someone.

Lexa furrowed her eye brows and looked around for anything or someone that Clarke was looking out for. Till she sees him.

"Miller!" The blonde shouted beckoning him to come closer. "Here," handing him a piece of with numbers scribbled on it.

"Thanks, Clarke!" Hugging her tightly and walked off towards his friends.

Lexa clenched his jaw and asked, "giving numbers already?" Trying to sound less interested compared to what she was feeling.

Clarke just hummed and cheerfully faced Lexa, "shall we go?"

Lexa didn't respond and just walked off towards the entrance, where the car was waiting.

Clarke slid beside Lexa in silence, without giving the girl another look. Half an hour had passed and they were already standing by Blake's apartment still in silence. Clarke just have to break the atmosphere cause her train of thoughts has no ending.

"What time is Costia coming?" she asked waiting for the door to open.

"She's not coming... We broke up," Lexa disclosed. There you go. Wasn't that hard right? Lexa wrinkled her forehead feeling worried.

"What do you mean-" turning to the brunette but was cut off by Octavia opening the door and jumping over Clarke.

Lexa smiled at O and joyfully walked through the door avoiding the blonde's perplexed look.

\-----------

Clarke can't believed her ears. Could it be? She kept her gaze all over the brunette longer and with much more intensity. The kind of look like she can't figure something out. So much mystery and confusion. Clarke have to get to the bottom of this ASAP. She have questions and she needed answers. Clarke watches the clock as it sluggishly ticks for the time that the brunette has to head home. She tapped her hands over her shaking knees waiting anxiously for the tiny little hands to reach 10pm.

"Guys, I have to head home," Lexa spoke, placing her napkin over the table. Clarke followed suit automatically by standing up.

"Me too," eyeing the brunette who reluctantly looked in her eyes.

As the girls stepped out of the street, Clarke was gnawing her curiosity alive. She pinched her lips with her little fingers, thinking of ways to ask the girl. Just do it, Clarke.

"What happened, Lex?" Clarke asked carefully, still eyeing the concrete ground as if it will magically reveal the answers to her pending questions.

She heard the girl sighed and moments ticked by, the more Clarke felt agitated.

She asked again, "Lexa?"

"Would you tell me about Finn?" Lexa bravely asked.

"How did you-" Clarke suddenly countered but stopped promptly, "You know what, I don't really have to ask how you found out." the girl took a long sigh and replied, "Okay."

It took the brunette a while longer to start, she wasn't sure how to even answer the question when the reason is because of the girl beside her. But still Lexa pursed her lips and blurted out,

"It's because of you,"

Clarke stopped in the middle of the side walk, "What?"

Lexa chuckled at the sight of the girl, "Do you really have to ask Clarke? Isn't that already obvious?"

"I don't know... I mean its Costia come on. She's smart. Beautiful. Funny." Clarke started stating all the obvious characteristics until Lexa spouted out,

"But she's not you," staring at Clarke with strong ferocity, almost making the blonde weak to her knees.

Lexa continued, " We broke up the last night we had dinner at Octavia's 3 months ago. The little spat we had was the last straw and I knew that something bad is going to happen. Hence, the break up... I know I was just kidding myself when I said I would give it a try. I really wanted it to work, you know, everything was fine. Fun. Exciting. Happy. But there was always something missing... like deep inside you know you're not complete. Like another half of you was out there somewhere and the girl in front of you just wasn't it." shaking her head in dismay, looking anywhere else but the blonde. "But I could overlook that, until you showed up... hence-"

"The break up." Clarke uttered finishing the girl's sentence. Lexa smiled sadly and diverted her eyes away as if there's far more interesting things to look at than Clarke's deep blue eyes.

"I'm sorry, Lexa. I knew I shouldn't have done what I've done and I wish I could rewind the whole situation to make things better," looking at Lexa sorrowfully.

"It's ok Clarke. What is done is done. I am actually very happy where I am right now," Lexa hinted, beaming at Clarke deliberately.

Clarke felt her stomach flipped and thoughts started to pound in her head. Is it because of me? I really wish its because of me... She crinkled her nose and tried to hide the smile that was creeping on her lips. She redirected her gaze on the solid ground, hiding her almost blushed cheeks from the brunette.

"It's your turn, Clarke," Lexa started without missing a beat.

"Right... I met Finn through one of my patients. When I heard from Raven that Costia was making her move on you, I was fighting back the urge to come back in Capitol and confront her. So I made the most stupidest thing I have ever done. I went out with Finn, later became a boyfriend, but then turned into a total dick head." Clarke laughed ridiculously reminiscing that night. "I saw him making out with one of the girl's in the bar where he was working at. Not only one but a couple of them... It was my birthday. It was my freaking surprise birthday... set up by my boyfriend. Who turned out to be a fucking cheater during my freaking birthday... " Clarke closed her eyes and breathe out slowly. She placed her open palm over her heart and lightly pounded her chest on each word, "All is well, Clarke. ALL. IS. WELL," trying to suppress down the anger, hatred and aggravation.

Those are memories that are bound to be long forgotten. They should be dumped over the garbage where all the trash belongs. She was too good for him, Clarke considered. She doesn't deserve someone as low as Finn. She puffed out another irritation, clenching her fist trying to calm herself down some more.

Lexa took her hands into hers and said, "Clarke look at me," searching for the blonde's fiery eyes. "He's not worth it. You deserve someone better. Who will take care of you and will not hurt you like that." Though the irony Lexa considered all those things to be her. But her mind kept telling her that Clarke needed her best friend and not an interested potential partner.

Clarke looked at her defeatedly and nodded, "thanks Lexa..." then slowly changing her face into a coy, "Are you sure you're not talking about yourself?" raising her eye brows at the brunette.

Lexa instantly dropped Clarke's hands, "You know what Clarke I can see you've been flirting with me since this morning. I'm sorry to tell you honey bunch, I ain't that cheap. You have to work yourself up," raising her eye brows defyingly at Clarke.

Clarke laughed so hard that she clenched her stomach in pain. "Sure Lexa... sure. Whatever you say," mocking the girl.

Lexa left the laughing blonde in the middle of the side walk, pouting her lips in annoyance. Clarke ran up to her, nudging her side playfully. When the brunette didn't gave out any response, Clarke turned into a serious mode.

"Lexa, look at me," grabbing the girl's arm turning her around, "I want to ask you a serious question and I really hope you won't evade this question anymore. Because I'm dying to know the answer."

Lexa gave the girl one full good look and went back to her eyes. She raised her eye brow, biting her inner cheeks in deliberation. Wondering if, one, should she want to know what the Clarke wanted to ask and two, is she will be willing to answer it truthfully. Lexa took her chances.

"Shoot."

And with one word Lexa already broke out in cold sweat.

"Echo."

"Clarke..." Lexa stammered. Hearing the name already sent chills down her spine.

"Lexa you've been putting it off for ages and I've been very patient about it. But Lex... It's killing me not knowing what Echo did... Please, Lexa," Clarke pleaded searching for the girl's hooded eyes. She grabbed Lexa's hands and gently squeezed it assuringly, "You can do this. Close your eyes and count to 10..."

Lexa followed the blonde's words, making herself feeling lighter and relaxed, somehow. You can do this Lexa. It's about time. The brunette bought her time by crossing the road and walking up to the play ground. Gotta do this, Lexa. Let go of your baggage.

"Lexa, you can trust me." eyeing the girl more carefully, with gentleness in her eyes. "I know I hurt you and failed to uphold your trust but like what I said before. I am here now. I'm not going to leave anymore. Please help me regain back your trust," Clarke relentlessly asked.

Lexa rubbed her forehead a couple more times and opened her mouth enticingly. Clarke followed the opening, waiting eager for the words to spill.

"Echo was my girlfriend. We met during my dark days after my mom died. I turned into a rebel. I did things that I shouldn't be... Sometime I get away with it because I seemingly looked naive." Lexa took a sit on the bench and scratched her nape. "She was my first. I've done things with her at first hand. I was skipping classes, flunking exams. I couldn't careless about my school or... my dad or how hard he tried to reach out for me. I ignored him and indulged myself with parties, drinks, sex and even drugs," Lexa watched Clarke slowly gapped at her in shock. Slightly scooting away from her.

One of the reactions that Lexa didn't want the girl to act towards her. This is partially the reason why she's been holding this information as long as she can. She was afraid what would Clarke think of her. Lexa swallowed all her fear because there's no back down now. She already started.

"Echo's a daughter of one of the top CEO within the industry... and turns out my dad's mortal enemy. Echo kept it a secret from me. She was living a double life. Trying to spy on my dad, swindling confidential information through me." Lexa chuckled at how ridiculous it sounds, "Such a tv drama plot aye." she commented sarcastically.

Clarke just smiled with a mixture of grimace.

"Then there was the night when everything came crushing down. There was a gala party that my dad forced me to attend and there I saw Echo. That event was where large pool of investors, partners and big CEOs gather in one place. You know what Echo and her father tried to do?" Asking the blonde, who shook her head feeling more curious by the second.

"They tried to kidnap me... but failed... because my dad was already suspicious of Echo when they had 'the confrontation'. So he made sure that body guards were on a look out for me. Without me knowing obviously... But there was no concrete evidence about the alleged kidnapping... therefore, no cases were able to file. My dad went berserk. I was under surveillance 24/7 but I couldn't careless because I submerged myself inside the four corners of my room. I lost trust on anyone else. I became a stranger to my dad and friends. Till I have no one around me was left."

Clarke was still gapping at the brunette. She can't think straight at how much the girl had gone through. At how much terror and disloyalty she have to put up with. Now did Clarke fully understand where Lexa was coming from. Why she lost trust on anyone. Why she was became a loner. Why she's been guarded throughout her life. Clarke took the brunette under her arms and hugged her ever so tightly. She wanted to make Lexa know that she have her. She will not leave her. That she is her best friend and she can trust her.

No words were needed because all Lexa knew and felt was that, 'This hug is enough for me'.


	20. The Feels

"Are you sure you've done this before,Clarke?" Lexa worriedly asked, scrutinising at the blonde who was squatting in between her legs.

"Trust me, Lexa." Looking up. "I've done this tons of times in New York. It's nothing new. I've seen everything." Clarke sarcastically articulated, holding down the brunette's legs to keep her still.

"Claaarrke..." Lexa moaned gripping the Blonde's head for her dear life.

She squirmed and fidgeted at what the blonde was doing to her. I can't believe this. This is so awkward.

"Lexa!" Clarke puffed, scolding the brunette without looking up.

Lexa bit her lips at the tugging sensation, preventing another moan to escape her lips. She dug her hands over Clarke's shoulder and shut her eyes close tightly. As she feels it dripping down her leg. The brunette glimpsed down at Clarke's face filled with determination. Perspiration was forming on her hairline, oh how she wanted to wipe those off. Instead, she looked up at the ceiling fighting back the the squirming in her stomach. She breathed slowly and deliberately as the tugging was back again. Oh my gosh, Lexa. I can't take this anymore...

"Okay. Okay. Wait wait Clarke," calling out for the blonde who seemed so enticed by what she was doing. Lexa scooted a bit away from Clarke, who snapped her head up at her in annoyance.

"What now?" She puffed, putting down her hands from the girl's legs.

"Can... Can we take five? I don't think I can..." Losing for words as she watched Clarke stood up and towered over her.

Lexa gripped the blanket stowed over the bed and grimaced. She never imagined that Clarke could look so dangerous and intimidating, but stunningly attractive especially with her coat on. Lexa hold up her hand stopping the blonde from coming anymore near her.

"You look here Lexa. I'm doing the best I can. I've been down there for almost half an hour now. It's the longest that I've done. Do you hear me? Cause at most I'm done 10 minutes top. But nooooo... You just have to take your little breaks," Clarke whammed at Lexa.

Lexa watched the blonde's chest rise up and down, breathing really hard from anger and frustration. She groaned and spouted, "Fine. Go. Go ahead and do your thing."

"Thank you!" Clarke sarcastically voiced out.

The blonde spread the brunette's legs again and heard the girl whimpered. She raised her eye brow at her and smirked.

"You know..." Clarke whispered, seductively smirking and raising up to her feet, placing her arms on the girl's either sides - caging Lexa. She reached forward until she was inches from the girl's ear. "If people outside hear you moan loud enough and they see me down there... They might think otherwise."

Lexa felt her eyes grew big, feeling her heart palpitated a thousand times faster. Her stomach dropped, sending bolts through her body.

"Clarke!" Lexa blurted out, taken aback by what the blonde was saying. "Don't... Don't be ridiculous!" She stuttered.

"Exactly, so please shut the 'F' up and let me finish stitching you up. You and you're biking! Seriously!" Clarke tsk-ed and sighed, diving back down to the open wound on Lexa's right leg.

\-----------

"Are you guys done? It's been an hour! I'm missing my Games of Throne marathon!" Octavia pouted, as she entered the room.

Clarke turned away from Octavia busying herself with the needles and gloves. She tried to clear her head and suppress the moaning and groaning that kept rewinding inside her head. The blonde stopped for a millisecond and put herself together before keeping away the equipments.

The tiny girl jumped over the bed and said, "Can we go? This hospital feels making me feel miserable." Poking at Lexa's stitches.

"O! Stop that," Lexa hissed, swatting away Octavia's hand.

"Knock Knock!"

The three heads snapped back towards the door looking at Miller grinning at Clarke. Lexa felt her stomach dropped but still kept a straight face.

"Mill! Can I help you?" Clarke glanced, as she washed her hands by the small sink at the corner.

Miller looked at Lexa and nodded, as if asking for permission to come in. Lexa narrowed her eyes and nodded back. So he's back. The brunette turned away from the two and pouted at her stitches. Octavia wiggled her eye brows at Lexa and beamed.

"What?" Lexa asked feeling annoyed.

"Nothing. Is that Clarke's new boyfriend?" Octavia asked jokingly. Eyeing the brunette's facial expression in the corner of her eyes.

Lexa fiddled with the blanket and bit her inner cheeks. She shrugged and silently brooded at the two figures distance away from her. She silently watched Clarke playfully touching his arms and smiling at him. If Lexa knew better she was probably flirting with the guy.

"Can I go Clarke?" Lexa asked agitatedly, looking at their way with annoyance plastered on her face.

Clarke looked at the girl with apprehension. She doesn't want to brunette to go just yet.

"Can you stand up? Do you need clutches? I could wheel you out on a wheel chair... Or you could wait for me I'll be off in half an hour," hinting to the girl, giving her more options but secretly hoping of going home together.

"I'm fine," trying to stand up, wincing to the weird tugging pain on her leg. Octavia guided Lexa under shoulder and out of the door.

Clarke watched, stood rooted to the ground, racking her brain to make the girl stay. Miller took the opportunity to asked the blonde out again.

"So... Are you free now, Clarke?" Miller asked.

"Miller... Like I said I'm really tired. Maybe next time we could eat lunch," Clarke mumbled positively, trying not to break the man's heart.

She had already turned him down for the 4th time that week and she wasn't planning to do it more frequently. Every time somebody asked Clarke out the only person that popped inside her head was Lexa. Thinking about how will she feel about it? How she wished that it was the brunette asking her out. How she wished that she get to see Lexa more than the usual Friday nights dinner at the Blake's house or her periodic trips to the hospital due to her hiking and random activities.

"Okay I got it. Lunch then tomorrow," Miller pressed on as he walked off towards the receptionist counter.

Clarke puffed another sigh and sat down on the chair. She opened her planner to check her schedule for that week when something slipped out of the pages. Clarke picked it up off the floor and unfolded it.

'Dear you,

You + Me + Dinner + Tonight = ???

From L'

Clarke found herself grinning ear to ear, she promptly looked around if someone saw her looking absurd. She bit her lips and forked out her phone.

(18:40) Clarke Griffin: Hmmm... I'll think about it.

(18:50) Little Heda BFF: Pretty please with a cherry on top? ;)

(18:53) Clarke Griffin: Cook for me? I'm not feeling like going out tonight. Plus you can't move around with those stitches. >:(

(18:55) Little Heda BFF: Being all doctor-sy now huh. Whatever. Come over, I'll order pizza. I don't cook, Clarke. Sorry to burst your bubble. Hope you remembered that part.

(19:30) Clarke Griffin: Fine. I'll be there in 20. See you.

\--------------

Lexa opened the door and greeted Clarke. The blonde grinned back and jumped over the sofa, laying herself comfortably. She grabbed the remote control switching on the tv and flicked through Netflix. Lexa came over to the coffee table and put down the pizza box. Then exit out again to the kitchen, limping slightly due to the small stitch on her leg. Clarke followed the figure out of the room and called out.

"You shouldn't be moving around, Lexa," reprimanding the girl as she kicked open the pizza box with her toes.

"I'm fine, Clarke. This isn't the first stitch I had," rolling her eyes at the blonde.

Lexa scooted closer to the blonde's front on the sofa and indulged herself with the pizza. Clarke playfully tickled and pouted, making the brunette glared at her. However, Clarke ignored it and pointed at her mouth. Lexa was baffled, slowly glancing down to her lips. Does she want a kiss?

Feeling the familiar beat of her heart and the buzzing of butterflies emerging from their cocoons, she leaned down towards the blonde. Their eyes met halfway and sparks came flying out of nowhere.

"Ummm..." Clarke interjected, Lexa immediately stopped inches from her lips. "I meant feed me, Lexa. Not kiss me."

Lexa evidently backed away from the blonde, laughing nervously. Urgently, she turned away from the smirk emitting out of Clarke's coy face. She could feel it following her every move as she reached out and took a slice. Lexa flared her nostril and turned facing the blonde, stuffing it inside the girl's mouth.

"Okaayy..." she muffled, "You don't have to shove it in my mouth." Taking the slice out of her mouth and gingerly took a bite.

Clarke secretly giggled at Lexa's initial action. She never thought that Lexa would consider that action as 'wanting a kiss'. She giggled some more and watched the girl looked at her all flustered.

"Shut up, Clarke," shoving the blonde's face with her hand.

"What? It's cute," she rebutted. "So naive but cute."

"Argh! Okay. It's over now. You had a good laugh. Har-Har!" Lexa mocked as she annoyingly looked away from the blonde.

Clarke snaked her arms around Lexa's waist and pulled her in.

"It means lie down with me," said Clarke in a sarcastic way. She scooted further to the sofa to make space for Lexa. Who still stared down at her, reconsidering the invitation. Eventually, Lexa sighed and willingly laid down in front of her.

Their breathing was even. The buzz of the tv was very much audible. But the Clarke's mind was in a state of pandemonium. Clarke tried her very best to watch the movie but still her eyes landed on the exposed skin of the brunette. She traced down the slope of her neck and up again to her shoulders. The smooth and perfect complexion that makes guys go gaga. Her fingers twitched urging to outline the girl's curves. She closed her eyes tightly trying not to get overwhelmed by her tired mind or her obvious feelings. Just Best friends, Clarke.

\--------------

Lexa folded her arms over her chest, ignoring the fact that she just made a fool of herself moments ago. She puffed and crinkled her nose as out of nowhere she felt hair her stood up. She scooted closer to the blonde for warmth who invitingly welcomed her. You're just best friends. She constantly reminding herself.

Despite their open conversations about what they felt for each other. Things between them were still ambiguous. She doesn't know what they are. What stage are they in. She've been feeling all this chills and obvious stares from the blonde. The frequent flirting and sly smiles. But she doesn't know where to position herself.

She had been trying to get the blonde to ask her out, just the two of them. Because to her Friday night dinners and occasional trips to the hospital was not enough. She had enough bruises and cuts all over her body, to show herself in her office a couple of times in a week. Resulting for Gustus feeling skeptical at how Lexa gotten her injuries.

*Flashback a week ago*

"Don't tell me you got injured again, Alexandria?" Studying the girl's bandage on her right arm.

"It was an accident dad," Lexa muttered nonchalantly, pulling away her arm free.

"For the 3rd time this week? Don't you think you've reached your quota?" Peeking at the girl half joking but with a tint of annoyance in his voice.

Lexa sighed and rubbed her fore head. She doesn't want to answer that question, instead she took her glasses and gulped down her water in one go, ignoring her father's constant rant.

"Who's been looking after your injuries?" Gustus asked, slicing his steak in half.

Should I tell him? I should have been more discreet on my cuts and bruises. tsk. Lexa took her time to bite down her potato, crushing it with her teeth and slowly swallowed it down.

"Clarke," Lexa murmured apathetically.

Gustus snorted, shaking his head in disdain. Lexa looked up at him with furrowed brows, feeling more provoked and bashful. And despite the animosity that Lexa was showing, Gustus was still deliberately sniggering and casually slicing down his meat with no distraction what so ever. She scratched her neck thinking that her plan was maybe a little too much. Deliberately trying to get cuts and bruises just to make a trip to the hospital to see Clarke was way too much. Lexa cussed under her breath and shoved more and more salad into her mouth, trying to shut her conscience down.

"If you want to see her honey, there's more accident-injury free options to choose from. You don't have to intentionally hurt yourself just to see her. And I want you to stop doing that, Alexandria. Do you hear me, girl? No more injuries. Just give her a letter or something. Or I could ask her for you," Gustus added.

"No!" Lexa suddenly blurted out. "I'll do it. I'll write her a letter." She nodded at her dad and went back to fretting over her little plan.

\------------

But then again she got way too nervous that as she cycled towards the hospital in one hand and gripping the letter on the other, studying it. She didn't noticed another vehicle was coming for her and BAM! Lexa landed in the hospital bed with the blonde stitching her up.

Lexa felt the blonde's arm lazily slumped over her stomach, making her butterflies fly knocking on each other in different directions. Breathe, Lexa. She tried to focus on the movie but Clarke was breathing down on her neck. She squirmed a bit and turned towards the blonde. And then regretted it.

"Clarke that tickles..." she whispered, turning around and found herself staring back at her blue eyes. She almost forgot how to breathe.

Everything turned mute. The sound of ringing bells and pounding of drums was surrounding them... Or more rather in Lexa's thoughts. The anticipation of girl's lips that was inches from her was eating her alive. She gulped down nervously, as she briefly glanced on Clarke's puckered lips and up again to her eyes. And there was only one thing that kept replaying inside her head. Kiss her. Kiss her.

"Oh fuck this," she grumbled angrily and grabbed Clarke's cheeks and leaned in.

Clarke was baffled at first, but when she felt it everything seems to be at ease. Like how the tidal wave crashed into the shoreline and dragging it back again. Or the sound of birds chirping and whistling were almost too good to be true. Everything seemed so natural. Her little butterflies came back to life and started fluttering around trying to burst out of her chest.

She snaked her free arm around Lexa's waist pulling her in, deepening the kiss. Clarke felt her lips being nibbled and she involuntarily shivered to the core. She combed her fingers through the brunette's tousled hair and pulled her in, biting down on her lips begging for entrance. Clarke was now on the top of Lexa, feeling the tip of her tongue touched the brunettes's, making the girl under her squirmed. They were in a sloppy mess. They were so invested that they didn't noticed the movie has already ended and they were submerged in total darkness.

Lexa's hands gradually roamed around Clarke's curves, sinking in to her every inch. Then felt the blonde shuddered under her touch, making the brunette smile in between kisses. As she relentlessly bite down the blonde's lips. Lexa couldn't help but enjoy the audible moan escaping from the blonde's lips and all the more she feeling determined to blow the girl's mind. She slid down her hands under the girl's shirt, squeezing the girl's waist as the weird sensation in between her legs started to take over.

Clarke hitched a breath as Lexa's cold bare hands travelled under her shirt. The touch sent electric current through her waking nerves jerking her more alive. It was intoxicating and she was begging for more. She angled her head and slid down nibbling on the brunette's jaw line and down to her exposed neck. Lexa intentionally tilted her head giving her more access. Body sweat were showered upon them. Heavy and steamy atmosphere were circling around. Clarke strategically placed her leg in between Lexa's and buried deeper into her neck, sucking and nibbling on her sensitive skin. As their body grind over each other, Clarke couldn't help but feel turned on by the heavy panting and moans that Lexa was muffling on her ear. She shivered as she felt Lexa's teeth nipped her ear delicately. Clarke sighed and moved up back to her swollen lips.

Their kiss turned less aggressive and more passionate and slow. Indulging every single touch and quivers of their bodies. Lexa fidgeted and shifted her position, as Clarke's knee meets her in between her legs in a steady increasing rhythm. The brunette tried to ignore the pain radiating from her stitches and focused her concentration on how the blonde lightly and enticingly kissed her jaw line. Making Lexa sighed and felt over the moon. Pondering at how Clarke touches her sensitively and without hesitation.

"Alexandria! I'm home," Gustus called out by the front door.

"Shit!" Lexa hissed and shoved the girl away from her.

Making Clarke stumbled over the sofa and hit her head by the coffee table. The blonde grimaced in pain and hissed.

"Again, Lexa?" Looking at the girl threateningly.

Lexa suddenly sat of straight, fixed her chaotic hair and mouthed, "I'm sorry," to the blonde. As Gustus casually walked in and surprised to find Clarke sprawled on the floor.

"Clarke, what are you doing on the floor?" Gustus asked suspiciously.

"Ah nothing, sir," Clarke murmured sitting back down on the sofa, still rubbing her head in pain.

Gustus hmph-ed and walked up the stairs, "Dinner will be ready in an hour. Alexandria please ready the chicken. I'll be down in a minute."

Lexa reluctantly turned towards the blonde and peeked at her shyly. Clarke looked back feeling the weird aftermath make out session. They immediately looked away breaking the strong tension in between their gazes.

"I'm gonna go ready the chicken. Please stay for dinner Clarke," she mumbled as she quickly paced out of the living room.

\----------------

Clarke leaned against the sofa and let out a one long sigh of relief. She bit her lips and goofily smiled remembering what just happened. She silently chuckled to herself, crinkling her nose in excitement and buzzing feeling that was still lingering under her skin.

She covered her flustered face with her hands and mumbled, "Oh God..." grinning idiotically.

\----------------

Lexa hastily walked up to the fridge and leaned against it. And slowly slid down her back against the fridge door feeling her lips forming a grin. She chuckled happily as she sat there on the cold tiled floor. The brunette pursed her lips and tentatively licked it, trying to feel what it was like again having Clarke's lips on hers. She shoved her curly hair out of her face and stayed there, reminiscing the moment their lips touched. The feelings that started to erupt. The traces of each others hands against each other. The heat that radiated on their perspiring bodies.

Lexa chuckled once more, grinning ear to ear and murmured, "Oh dear Lord..."


	21. One More Chance

Clarke never thought that it would eventually happened. She was caught in a haze. She was startled and speechless. The dinner was a quick blur and Lexa and her were tight lipped about the kiss. Gustus looked at them suspiciously, making Clarke felt guilty of what she did... With Lexa. Not that she was regretting it. But damn it! It was the best kiss that they ever shared. Their second Kiss.

Clarke spent that particular night rewinding over and over inside her head,the touch. The smell. The feels. The smirks. The smiles. The glances. She never felt so alive and awake. She thought things between them were finally going to get better but things turned a bit lopsided. Things between her and Lexa turned a bit sour than she had expected. Everytime the blonde wanted to open up and talk about the kiss but Lexa would always finds other things to talk about or easily change the topic. As if its a black hole meant to be avoided and not talked about. Was it horrible? Was I a bad kisser? Clarke never managed to find out.

\---------------------------

"Clarke! I've been looking all over for you!" Raven annoyingly called out.

The blonde swiftly turned around and found her friend scowling at her as she walked up to her. Clarke fiddled with her clipboard and putting it aside as she watched Raven's face slowly lit up and slumped her arms around her shoulder.

"And what do I owe this honour to get a visit from a lovely lady?" Clarke mumbled, smiling at the girl beside her.

"Octavia and I are planning a party! And you're invited! How awesome is that?!"

"Oh wow," Clarke nodded in agreement, "yupp definitely exciting but... No." The blonde affirmably stated shoving the girl's lengthy arm off her shoulders and started to walk away.

"What do you mean 'no'?" Raven questioned, tailing behind the doctor.

"I've got things to do, Rae. And don't you think we're a little too old for parties?" Clarke trudged on, ticking off some boxes on her clipboard.

"Of course not! It will never grow old! Please, Clarke! Please come." Raven begged, relentlessly tugging on the blonde's white coat like a child. "Lexa's coming," she added, with a knowing wink.

"Nope," still shaking her blondie hair in disagreement. "You're not pulling that trick again. It ain't gonna work. That ship has sailed."

"Since when? You've been giving each other eye sex for months! Jeez! Quit with the act. Both of you been aloof with each other ever since Lexa got her stitch done. What's up with that?"

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a sigh. She never really thought that her friends would noticed that. It's not as if they weren't on their case before. The blonde felt her eye rolled knowing they were up to no good again.

It had been 3 months since their kiss and they've never talked about it, not even once. Eventually, Raven and the rest of the group had their graduation and went on searching for jobs but still kept in contact as frequent as possible and of course the usual Friday nights at the Blakes.

"Nothing, Rae.... Fine I'll go. In one condition," Clarke turned around and gave out a deadly glare at Raven, who seemed to almost cringed, making the blonde smile internally. "No alcohol will ever touch this lips." She said knowingly, pointing at her pouty lips.

"What?! No! No way! Thats the point of the party. Get high. Get drunk. Have fun!" Raven argued back, flinging her arms in the air desperately.

"Then its a no." Clarke simply shrugged and started walking away from the girl again.

Clarke heard an exasperated sigh and then knowingly smiled, "Fine! No alcohol. Just come. Its tomorrow night at my place. And please don't be late again."

Clarke grinned still having her back against her friend. She waved at Raven as she sauntered towards the east wing. She couldn't help but remember what happened during their graduation party a months after their kiss. It was something she hoped wont happen again.

\--------- flashback 2 months ago --------

"Body shots! Body shots!"

Everybody around the circle were shouting and cheering as the spinning bottle's mouth and end landed on Clarke and Lexa respectively. The girls looked at each other feeling the spark and intensity at ones eyes. Or perhaps it was just the alcohol talking. Raven playfully shoved Clarke in the middle of the circle and Octavia did the same thing with Lexa. The blonde and the brunette were fumbling and stumbling looking around and not holding anymore gazes after. The audience went wild, cheering and woah-ing loudly. Clarke's mind was deeply clouded and heavily intoxicated with the shots that Raven kept supplying her throughout the night. And by the time they played truth and dare, everything was a total blur.

Next thing she knew she lying down on the cold wet grass of Raven's  backyard and Lexa hovering over her. She couldn't help but looked up at the starry night and silent pray and hope that everything will pass within a blink of an eye. She felt Lexa's legs touching hers. The sweet smell of her cologne with a tinge of alcohol was evident that Lexa drank a lot too. Probably the same level as hers because she could feel her swaying a bit unsteadily as she moved up on her body. The blonde took a big gulp trying to calm her nerves down. Hold yourself together, Clarke. She kept thinking over and over again until she realised that she actually blurted it out, loud enough for everyone to hear. Everybody started cheering louder and louder drowning Clarke's thoughts.

Lexa was gazing in her eyes. Clarke was lost. She already knew she was in for a deeper trouble now that the've kissed for the second time. As Lexa lowered her face down to Clarke's lips and bit down the lemon and slowly and teasingly licked off the salt on the blonde's collarbone. She immediately got up and left the crowd. Leaving a dozen of eyes following her in puzzlement.

\-----------------------------------------------

"If you're just gonna stand there the whole time, then just leave. There's nothing to see here," the blonde puffed and heaved heavily as if her chest was about to explode into a million pieces.

Eventually, She felt a warm presence beside her. Clarke looked at her and clenched her jaw.

"You're in for a big trouble, young lady," Raven smirked, looking at the cloudless night sky. "Why don't you just tell her? It's obvious both of you are just holding is off and I don't get why," she shrugged.

"It's not that easy, Rae. How I wish it was. She's my best friend and I've ruined her relationship with Costia because of my selfishness and stupid feelings." Clarke shook her head in disgust. How she wished there was an on and off switch, her life would have been much happier. "Love is weakness, Raven."

Raven looked at her outrageously, "love is not weakness, Clarke. It actually makes you feel brave. Even if you doubt yourself sometimes. It makes you do things that you thought you never could. It makes you feel things that you could never possibly imagine. Sure we get hurt sometimes. But that's the best part isn't? It makes you feel braver to wake up one morning and say 'hey! I will do better this time!'... It depends on how you handle it. But please Clarke don't hold off anymore. I know Lexa is happy with you. Everybody with eyes can see that," elbowing Clarke playfully, snorting even.

Clarke grinned. All she wanted to do was to be with Lexa. All she could think about is her. Every waking day. Every single night. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see her face looking back at her. There's no denying it. She had fallen hard and she can't get back up.

Raven and Clarke stayed out at the balcony of Raven's room for another half an hour talking about none sensical things to liven up the sappy and melancholy atmosphere. Clarke was glad to have met Raven, the girl who became her crying shoulders when things get tough most especially with things about Lexa. Although having Lexa as her closest bestfriend, it was hard for Clarke to keep her mouth shut especially when its gnawing her alive. She shook her head thinking how far they've gone ever since her first day at Tondc.

The girls eventually walked out to the backyard and found at least half a dozen of their friends almost passed out. Raven laughed hysterically as she saw Octavia slumped over the swing on her stomach, swaying back and forth.  
"Hey just gonna go grab, O. Feeling sorry for the little cupcake," Raven informed, jumping down from the patio and helping the little girl up. Who was definitely knocked out unconscious.

Clarke nodded and eventually scanned the entire backyard looking for one particular brunette. She's not here. Where is she? The blonde wheeled back into the house and went on a massive sweep. But she was nowhere to be found. She must have gone home. Clarke sighed and sat down at the long island in the kitchen and grabbed another shot of left over tequila. She winced as it slowly slid down her throat and into the pit of her stomach, burning it in the process. In spite that she knew all too well that she's bringing herself down to self-pity and taking toll of it, she still continued. She spent several more shots until she finished almost half of the left over bottle. She tried so hard to forget what she feels or what she was thinking about until she thought they were all gone.

"Clarke. Clarke!"

Clarke thought she heard her name. She tried to move but her body seemed so heavy all of a sudden. She suddenly felt the cold table top against her right cheek. The blonde tried to open her eyes and saw something green. Glistening green. Very alluring and compelling green that she had ever seen in her entire life. She wanted to drown into them. She wanted them nearer to her as much as possible.

"Uumm... Clarke. What are you doing?"

Clarke didn't heard anything but a muffled sound. The only thing visible was those tantalising eyes coming nearer and nearer towards hers. She felt her eyes closed and thought, You're so beautiful. Can you be mine?

Clarke suddenly jerked out of her thoughts and realised what was actually happening. Her lips were on Lexa's. She suddenly backed away and shook her head relentlessly, she was more wide awake than ever even at her drunkard state.

"No... No... No no no. I dont deserve this. I dont. Im sorry, Lexa. Im so sorry," and with a blink of an eye Clarke was gone into the streets running and panting. We all knew too well what happened.

\------------------------------

"Remember when you said, 'you're so beautiful. Can you be mine?'" Raven laughed none-lady like. Clarke glared at her over coffee and said, "uh I don't think I've ever mentioned that,"

"Actually you do. Octavia and I heard it. We were watching you and Lexa making out in the kitchen,"

Clarke felt her mouth formed a big 'o' and smacked Raven right on the head with her clipboard.

"And why am I only hearing about this now? What this? 2 months delay? Only now did you decided 'oh its a perfect timing to tell Clarke that she made out with her bestfriend during graduation party'! Thanks for the heads up Raven," giving Raven another deathly stare.

"For your information Octavia asked me to keep it shut. 2 months is pretty long. I should be celebrating," Raven laughed, playfully wiggling her eyebrows at the blonde who seemed pretty unimpressed.

"Plus, O's right. I thought you and Lexa gonna work it out. We really thought that after that night you two would eventually finally get together," the girl shrugged and took a sip of coffee.

"I thought so too with our first kiss..." Clarke sighed but suddenly broke out of her mindless stare on her coffee looked up at Raven who was gawking at her with a big grin plastered on her lips. She definitely slipped out that one accidentally. Shit.

"What? When? How? Omg! Clarke! This is huge! Wait... This is not during the hike right?" Clarke shook her head in grimace and looked away from the happy and jumpy girl in front of her. She pinched the bridged of her nose and exhaled through her mouth.

"It was 2 days before I left for New York. I got scared. All of my memories came back," Clarke shook her head upon the memory. "I cant handle the emotions. So I did what I thought was right...."

"You went away," Raven muttered knowingly.

Clarke's face fell. She buried her face on her palm and groaned in agony. She doesn't know what to do or say. Or how will she face the brunette because she took off again.

"Clarke," Clarke looked at Raven, squinting. "Just do it!" Clarke rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue.

\-----------------------------

(16:47) Raven a-Reyes: Hey babe, Griff's in. Any luck with yours?

Octavia shut her eyes very tightly upon reading the text message from Raven and puffed out another agitated breath.

"Lexa! Let me out! This is not funny!" Octavia banged the closet door as hard as she can. That she thought the door's going to give in. "Come on! I swear I won't do it again!"

Octavia heard shuffling of feet behind the door. She stood up and knocked twice.

"Lexa? Is that you?" Knocked twice more, "come on this isn't funny!"

The girl grabbed the door knob and started twisting it as hard as she can. She started pushing until she thought she can rammed it open but it was useless. She slumped over the heap clothes on the floor and groaned. She took out her phone and called Raven. After two rings the girl picked up.

"Rae!" O spouted, almost at tears. "Im stuck."

"What do you mean you're stuck?"

"Im inside Lexa's closet."

"And what are you doing inside her closet, O," Raven asked carefully. Pondering if her partner in crime was doing something fishy.

"Oh I don't know... Just hanging. Of course she locked me in! Jeez! Help me get out! I think she left the house or something. She wont answer my calls,"

"Fine. Ill be there in 15. Don't move!"

"Oh I wish I could!" Octavia hissed sarcastically. "And hurry!"

\--------------------------

"Alexandria! Whats that noise I hear upstairs?"  Gustus demanded, looking up from his laptop.

Lexa walked down the stairs casually and pecked Gustus on the cheeks as if nothing happened moments ago. Gustus eyed her suspiciously while tapping his pen on the dining table.

"Nothing, Father. Probably some really really big rat," Lexa shrugged as she took out a chocolate milk carton and poured herself a glass.

Another loud banging and yelling was heard from Lexa's room. Gustus eyed her daughter dubiously and slowly slammed his laptop down. Lexa took another big gulp and watched her father fumed on the corner of her eyes. She bit her inner cheeks as she set her glass on the table top.

"Alexandria, I'm only going to ask you once so please answer me truthfully. What was that sound?"

Lexa closed her eyes tightly and then opened them again but focused her vision on the wooden dining table.

"Octavia," Lexa stated.

"Why is Octavia making that sound?" Gustus questioned as if Lexa is a 5 years old child.

"Because I locked her inside the closet," Lexa bit her lips waiting for the impending fury of her father but she was surprised her father seemed to be more calmed down than usual.

Gustus nodded and then folded his arms, still looking down at Lexa who was still looking elsewhere besides her father.

"And why did you locked Octavia inside the closet?"

"Because...," Lexa sighed agitatedly, "She kept bugging me to go to this party that I don't even wanna go to."

"Why?"

"I just don't want to!" Lexa pouted, pouring herself another chocolate milk.

"Alexandria, does this got to do about that certain someone?" Gustus carefully asked. Octavia had already told him their plan before heading up to Lexa's room and he was always updated on the blonde and brunette's relationship status. Octavia was a very good source of information, Gustus thought to himself.

Lexa peeked at him defeatedly in the corner of her eyes and nodded. Her eyes bores on her wringing fingers, feeling unsure of what to say to her father. She doesn't want to start explaining everything again.

"Alright. Look at me Alexandria," Lexa reluctantly looked at Gustus and mustered all she can to look at him stoically. "I may not know the full story but I know eventually you're going to do the right thing. I know that you know what is the right thing to do?"

Lexa broke the gaze and looked away again, her father was right. She have to do the right thing. She have to talk to Clarke and get to the bottom of whatever this is. Gustus nodded at Lexa and opened his mouth again.

"Good. Shall we start by releasing Octavia out of the closet?" Gustus suggested.

Lexa shrugged and sighed, "I supposed so." She ran up the stairs two at a time and walked towards her bedroom closet. She knocked twice and heard shuffling of feet getting nearer to the door. She heard the door knob rattled again. Lexa pursed her lips embracing herself on a one angry and fuming Octavia.

She twisted the knob carefully until she heard the click sound, indicating the door was unlocked. Swinging the door inwards, Octavia came stumbling out of the door almost at her knees. Octavia immediately stood up and eyes were in raging fire as it bores down on the brunette.

"You're one heartless, sadistic asshole!" Octavia sprung up on Lexa, who instantly took a step back but Octavia was quicker. She shoved Lexa over to the bed and started wrestling her arms and pulling her hair. The girls were disheveled and screaming at the top of their lungs, scratches were all over their arms and faces. And this time Lexa have Octavia pinned on the carpeted floor trying to tickle her till she gives up.

"I'm not going and you can't make me!"

"NO! You're going because you're the reason why we made the party in the first place!" Octavia took her knee in between Lexa's leg and then kicked the brunette's stomach to get her off of her. Lexa groaned in pain and looked at Octavia in the most threatening and terrorising way, the little girl almost flinched.

"I never wanted a party in the first place. So that's not my fault!" Lexa screamed at Octavia chasing her out of the balcony. The two girls were once again trying to grab each other's throats, flinging each other's arms and kicking until the other one lets go. They were so infused by their fight that they didn't even hear Anya and Raven coming in.

"One!... Two!... Octavia and Lexa don't make me count to three!"

Lexa and Octavia immediately stopped what they were doing and looked up to the person who had spoken. Anya walked straight to them who was looking displeased that she had ever been, followed by Raven who was sticking out her tongue and smirking behind her. Octavia scowled but immediately stopped when Anya glared at her.

"Both of you! Inside! NOW!" Anya commanded, making the two girls scurried back inside the warmth of Lexa's bedroom.

\-----------------------------------------------

After a few moments of pitter patter of arguments, Anya was not even close to the conclusion. She shoved her hair out of her face and gritted her teeth, as she stared down at the girls sitting down on the bed looking like little girls fighting over a little doll.

"For one last time! Who started this?!"

Lexa and Octavia started pin pointing each others faults in one go and Anya can't decipher what the hell they were talking about. She raised both of her hands making the two girls stop.

"Lexa, you go first," Octavia was about to argue but stopped instantly when Anya gave her a look.

Lexa took a deep breath and started explaining, "It has been days that Octavia kept bugging me to go this party. But I kept turning her down because in the first place I'm not even interested and secondly, I have loads of work to do in the company. I don't have time for parties! Jesus!"

"Okay, fine! I understand. But you're dad agreed that you need a break, so technically your father being your boss he can take cover for you. Plus! I was just looking out for you because I can see you've been so stressed out with work and I hardly see my best friend anymore. You don't even go to our Friday Dinner nights anymore...," Octavia spilled in one breath, then took another breath but her voice quivered, "And I miss you..." Looking down at her feet wiggling it trying to get rid of her uneasiness.

Lexa looked over at Octavia with a saddened face, as she scratched her forehead unconsciously. She never knew that Octavia was deeply affected by her being gone all the time. The guilt started to creep on her as she scooted closer to the girl and gave her a tight hug.

"I miss you too."

Octavia nodded at her by the crooked of her neck and snuggled deeper. Both girls let go and looked at Anya, who was still looking skeptical thinking if she should buy it or not, and Raven, who was looking highly amused as ever.

"So what are we going to do now?" Anya asked still undecided.

"Fine. I guess I could go for awhile. I still have alot of things to do," Lexa grumbled under her breath. Octavia flashed her a huge grin and hugged her so hard that they toppled over the bed. The little girl started planting kisses all over the brunette's face until Raven has to peel her off Lexa.

"Hold your horses there, little one. You might suffocate our dear Lexa," Raven insinuated, grabbing the girl back to the door.

"You won't regret this Lexa. We are so gonna have fun! Yes!" Octavia happily jumped and punching in the air like a little kid.

Seriously, is this girl really 22 or a 5 years old? Lexa shook her head at Octavia and said, "I'll see you guys tomorrow. I have some paper works to finish since you guys are gonna occupy most of my time tomorrow." Giving them a menacing glares, waving them off as the three girls headed out of Lexa's room and down the stairs.

\----------------------------------------------------

"Did it worked?" Gustus asked once Lexa was out of earshot. The three girls snickered quietly and nodded profusely. The grins on their faces was unbelievably wide that Gustus started to feel nervous that it might ripped their lips open.

"Great acting, O! You deserved a grammy award!" Raven praised, clapping for the little girl all sophisticated like. Octavia made a bow at the pretend audience and laughed quietly.

"Excellent! So I'm guessing my daughter is at safe hands with the three of you?" Gustus questioned with much apprehension.

"Don't worry, Mr Heda. We will try and do the best we can to make Clarke and Lexa realise what they feel for each other." Anya confidently uttered, with a matching nodded filled with willed power and determination.

"Hell yeah! It's about time!" Raven boasted giving Octavia a high five.

"Good! I hope to hear good news soon, ladies! And thank you for doing this. I certainly hope that it'll work. If it doesn't... I'm afraid Alexandria might disowned me as her father for siding along with this," Gustus muttered, shaking his head for the possibilities of failures.

"Don't worry, Mr H. We will make sure they will talk," Octavia reassured, giving Gustus a wink.

The three girls left the Heda house filled with excitement and full pledged plan. With much hope and silent prayers that it will finally work out for the blonde and the brunette. After years and years of painstakingly watching them be happy and get hurt, it's about time for them to realise that they were meant for each other and no one else. This is definitely something to look forward to, Anya thought to herself.

\-------------------------------------------------------

"Relax, Lexa. It's just a party. Don't drink too much. Keep your guards up," Lexa nodded at herself in front of the mirror and left with her shoulder bag and not forgetting to stow her polaroid picture on the back of her leather pants.

"Dad! I'm heading out with Octavia and Raven, I'm gonna be late!" Lexa called out as she walked down the stairs.

"Take care, Alexandria! Good luck!" Gustus yelled back from the kitchen.

Good luck? Weird. Lexa questioned but let go of it the moment she saw Octavia's idling car by the curb. She sprinted towards it and greeted the little girl.

"Hey you!" Pecking O on the cheek and then strapping on her seat belt.

"Ready to partttyy!" Octavia belted out.

Lexa laughed and said, "Sure. Whatever you say, O."

Half an hour later, the two girls find themselves inside Raven's house, walking through an already opened door. Loud music were protruding out of the threshold and large crowd were already populating the living room and the kitchen as Octavia and Lexa came and searched for the host.

"O! Lexa! Over here!" Raven beckoned them over outside in the backyard.

Lexa couldn't help but feel the tinge of familiarity especially back in that particular night. The last time Clarke and her lipped locked, it was a complete haze. When she woke up the following morning she found herself snuggling up on Raven's sofa like a cocoon, she couldn't remember anything and her eyes were red and puffy. While her head was definitely complaining about the pounding pain. Raven gave her a tylenol and a glass of water and started explaining to her what the hell happened. How Clarke ran away after they kissed and that the brunette ended bawling her eyes out until she fell asleep.

After 2 months, Clarke and Lexa were guarded towards each other and pretended as if nothing happened. And now here was Lexa casually strolling into, she believed, another trap. Lexa nodded at Raven who handed her over a red cup filled with beer, she downed it in one go trying to calm her nerves down, half expecting something horrible is going happen that night. The brunette reached out another beer but not from the plastic cup but a whole bottle of it.

"Woah, relax there, Commander. The night is still young," Raven half joking, receiving a knowing look from Lexa.

She felt a pat on her shoulder and looked at Octavia who gave her a reassuring smile. I don't even know why I agreed to this. *sigh* The night went fast, faster than Lexa had expected and more than she could admit, she was having fun. Though inside she knew her head kept asking for the appearance of the blonde but it had been hours and she've seen no one familiar as the girl that she was picturing inside her head. Lexa laid herself inside Raven's room after she excused herself because she was feeling rather giddy and vomit. She was lying there don't know for how long until she suddenly jerked awake by someone banging on the door.

Lexa lazily turned her body towards the sound and froze in her place.

"Who the fuck are you?! What are you doing here?" Lexa instantly sat up right, moving backwards as the dark figure turned around and revealed its face on the dim light coming out from the window. The brunette started to calm down upon realising who it was.

"Sorry I had to use the bathroom and the line outside was long. Raven asked me to use her bathroom..." Clarke twisted the doorknob open and rattled it hard, "And I think the door won't open." The blonde resigned and looked at the brunette who seemed to be looking at her anxiously. "I'm sorry Lexa for waking you up."

"No. It's fine. The door won't open? It was working awhile ago," Clarke shrugged and stepped aside for Lexa who tried to pry the doorknob out of its place. She stomped back towards the balcony door and opened it but it was too wont pry open. This is weird. TOO WEIRD.

"Shit. I think we've been set up again," Lexa uttered in frustration.

"Of course we are!" Clarke mumbled knowingly.

Lexa knew all too well why their friend's suddenly set up a party without a reason, it's a disaster waiting to be unleashed! The brunette looked at the blonde on the corner of her eye as she settled herself on the floor leaning against the wall. Lexa went back on the bed and tried the best she can not to say a word, but of course she knew all too well the blonde is around she'll be betraying her conscience any moment now.

Despite the loud and pumping music down in the living room and in the backyard, everything seemed to be as still as calm waters within the room. Everything seemed to be muffled and all Lexa could hear was their even breathing. She clenched her jaw and gripped the duvet closer to her neck, she opened her mouth before her mind could betray her.

"Sit with me, Clarke. It's much warmer on the bed," Lexa said with evenness in her voice, which caught herself off guard.

"I'm fine," Clarke whispered with much evident of tiredness in her words.

"Don't be ridiculous. I know you're not comfortable there. Come on," The brunette slowly peeked over at the blonde who have her eyes closed. She could see Clarke's nose flaring and she knew that she too was feeling the sudden change in the atmosphere.

"I said I'm fine, Lexa!" Clarke suddenly bursted out. "And stop staring at me."

Lexa was taken aback by her sudden outburst, she gritted her teeth and said, "Fine. Suit yourself. I was just being nice," As she settled herself on the bed comfortably.

\--------------------------------------------------

The fuming silence in the room was unsettling for Clarke. She knew she was trying the best she can to not say anything. Not to start anything because she knew if she did she would wish that she would turn mute instead. The blonde sighed and stretched out her legs in front of her feeling the numbness on her butt. She fiddled with her wrist watch that once belonged to her dad and it shows that an hour had already passed. She forked out her phone and tried calling Raven, Octavia and other people that she could think of but it all went to voicemail. Of course! She thought to herself, shaking her head.

This floor is really uncomfortable. Clarke grimaced as she gently stood up and stretched her limb. She walked around the bed and carefully scrutinised the brunette if she was sleeping soundly, perhaps she could hopped in for awhile and wake up before the brunette did. Clarke climbed on the other side of the bed and gently tugging the duvet over her body, preventing the sleeping heiress from waking up. Moments later, her eyes were becoming droopy and she couldn't hold off her sleep anymore. Clarke snuggled deeper on the fluffy duvet and went into a slumber.

I'm sorry, Clarke... For everything. For avoiding you. For pretending that nothing happened. I was just scared what if you rejected me. If you only wanted to remain as best friends. But even right now I can't seemed get over the fact that we used to be so close but now... It all turned into waste because we... *sigh* I don't want to lose you but the distance between us seemed more likely bound to happen.

Clarke stirred and hummed audibly. She crinkled her nose and squinted her eyes, it was still dark outside and the music was still the same muffled sound as before. She turned to her right and froze to her spot. Lexa was inches from her and her arm was slumped over her stomach lazily. I should move. Clarke thought to herself but looking over the brunette seeing her serene features at close distance, was something that she misses. She misses their sleepovers, their movie nights and most importantly... she misses her best friend.

"I miss you."

Clarke knew, she knew that Lexa is a light sleeper. Simple movement and sound could stirred her awake but she didn't remembered that... Until Lexa opened her eyes and stared back at hers.

"I miss you too."

\--------------------------------------------------

After her silent confession over at Clarke's sleeping body, she watched her stirred and groaned. Instantly, she snuggled back to sleep without removing her arm that was draped over the blonde's stomach because she was more comfortable that way. Lexa could hear her moving and then eventually felt a warm breathing in front of her. She knew that Clarke was facing her. She tried not to twitch or fidget or any form of indication that she was awake because she knew that Clarke would back away from her and she doesn't want that to happen. So Lexa remained still as much as she could, despite her chest was beating a thousand times faster. What she heard next made things worse for her heart and yet, gave her the comfort that she was waiting for.

"I miss you."

Don't open you're eyes. Don't react. Sleep, Lexa. Sleep. Lexa opened her eyes and stared back at those familiar blue eyes. The one that she had been missing for months. Of course you won't listen. Her head kept bantering. Lexa opened her mouth and uttered what she had been wanting to say all this time.

"I miss you too."

Lexa and Clarke stared at each others eyes, but more like into each others soul. Their nose were almost at each others tips, brushing each other and all the Lexa could think of was not only her lips but at how she crave to touch the girl's face. Next thing she knew, her fingers were tracing the blonde's cheeks, down to her jawline. Watching the blonde closing her eyes and shivered slightly in her touch.

"I'm sorry, Lexa... For running away. I know I'm a coward. I'm really sorry..." Clarke mumbled still with her eyes closed. Lexa scooted nearer and buried the blonde on the crooked of her neck. She hushed the girl gently and stroking her hair with much love and affection.

"I'm sorry too Clarke for avoiding you. I know I shouldn't have done that. I was just afraid that... I might lose my best friend after everything. But I guess evading you only made things worse for us." Closing her eyes tightly as she felt a string of tears trailing down her cheeks.

The girls remained quiet for awhile, unmoved. Lexa was just embracing the closeness they're having after some time. Their bodies intertwined so tightly as if they wanted to merge into one. She never loosened her grip towards the blonde as if trapping her like a prisoner.

"I can't breathe, Lex," Clarke fidget under the brunette's embrace. Lexa let go and leaned out still watching the girl intently.

"Sorry... I just missed you so much."

The brunette watched Clarke smiled, the smile that she loves to see. She was so invested in looking at her smile that Clarke started clearing her throat. Lexa broke out of her reverie and looked back at those compelling blue eyes.

"Just do it." Clarke mumbled.

"Are you quoting Nike?" Lexa playfully smirked, making the blonde rolled her eyes at her.

"You know what I mean."

"I... Clarke... You're my best friend. I dont know...," Lexa stammered trying to get her words right, feeling the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach with each words she spoke.

"We were never just best friends, Lexa. And you know it,"

Lexa hitched a breath and stared back at the girl in front of her. As if she's a whole new different person moments ago. She felt the blonde's warm hands over her cheek, soothing her palpitating heart.

"Do it." Clarke insisted again.

Lexa moved over on the top of Clarke, placing her arms either side of the blonde's head. She leaned in hesitantly and asked again, "Are you sure?" and with a simple reassuring nod, Lexa leaned further and crushing hers against Clarke's awaiting lips. Everything felt right. It was not the same as the other kiss where they were filled with apprehension and questions. It wasn't sudden and haste but it was passionate and filled with love. Lexa knew that this was what Clarke was waiting for too, given that the blonde was giving her with much intensity with every burning touch.

Lexa felt the girl's hands shoved through her fair, while the other raking her back feeling every nails in her hand. The hunger was apparent and extreme. She wanted Clarke, as much as Clarke wanted her. The brunette broke from the enticing kiss and stared back at those blue eyes again.

"What are we Clarke?" Lexa faltered, thinking it was just another make out session with her best friend.

\---------------------------------------------------

Girlfriend. That was what Clarke was thinking about. How much she wanted to say it. How much in all hopes that it was that simple but what came out of the blonde's mouth made her feel way better.

"I want you to be mine,"

Clarke watched Lexa's eyes lit up. She suddenly felt her chest hammering hard against her rib cage. Shit! I swear it sounded way better inside my head. She grimaced internally as she watched Lexa seemingly speechless of what she just said.

"Please say something, Lex. You're making me worry," Clarke whispered anxiously, scratching forehead waiting cautiously.

The blonde watched the brunette shook her head in, of what is seemed to be for Clarke, in disbelief, only made her feel more stupid and the tugging feeling on her chest was a thousand times worse. Clarke watched in horror as Lexa moved away from her and was now pacing back and forth in the room. The blonde knew she was in deep shit knowing that Lexa was scratching her forehead in deep thoughts.

"Lexa! Talk to me!" Clarke demanded, making Lexa looked at her alarmingly as if she didn't realised that Clarke was in the room with her all this time.

"I don't know... Clarke," Lexa spoke in a whisper.

"What do you mean you don't know? Are you... Do you still love Costia?" Clarke carefully comprehended, trying not to put much venom as she uttered the other girl's name.

"What?! No! Of course not! It's just... Clarke, you're my best friend and I'm scared that what if it didn't worked out for us? What if we broke up and didn't became friends? What if they disapproved of us?" Lexa babbled on shoving her hair out of her hair in frustration.

Clarke crawled at the end of the bed and pulled Lexa's arm towards her.

"Look at me, Lexa. What we have will never change. I will always be your best friend and you will always be mine... Except that we get to do more things now," Clarke mumbled awkwardly looking away from the intense gaze of the green-eyed girl, "Nonetheless, I don't think anyone will be against us with a simple fact that my mom adores you and you're dad loves me... and... "gesturing around the room, "Us being stuck in here by our friends, I bet this is what they wanted to happen too."

Lexa sat down on the bed and sighed, "Lexa, It's okay if you don't want to. If you don't feel the same way. I will understand. I always will. I'm okay with just being your best friend," Clarke choked out the words, she felt a large lump was forming in her throat, she tried her best to not let it overcome her because to her being friends with Lexa matters the most.

"No!" Lexa shook her head profusely, "I wanted this as much as you do. You have no idea, Clarke. Gosh, this is happening," Lexa spoke with excitement and nervousness, she looked at Clarke who seemed to be showing as much buzz as her. "This is really happening. Oh my god."

"Yes it is, Lex. So? Do you...," Clarke whispered, still feeling the unknown jolt in her chest, "you know... go on a date with me?" Looking away from her best friend's eyes and fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

"I would love to!" Lexa gleefully spoke, crushing her lips against Clarke's. The blonde was taken aback by the girl's reaction and laughed, leaning her forehead against the brunette's.

\--------------------------------------------

Lexa couldn't help but grinned and laughed, as she watched the girl in front of her telling her stories about the days that she had missed. They spent hours talking on the bed, on each other's arms emitting comfort and love. Lexa could see the break of dawn outside the balcony and watched it as it position itself knowingly up in the cloudless sky. She looked over at the girl on her arms, dozing up with a faint snore. Lexa smiled and thought to herself, this is what I've always dreamed of. As she pecked Clarke on the cheek and nestled herself beside the blonde, she too started to fall asleep feeling elated than had ever been before.

"Wakey! Wakey!"

Lexa stirred and groaned as she felt the bed dipped on her side. She blindly pushed whomever made the sound out of the bed but only received back a swat on her arm.

"Ow! Who is that?" Lexa complained still having her eyes closed.

"It's me you idiot! Wake up! It's already noon! Come on, food's ready in the kitchen,"

Lexa half opened her eyes and found Octavia grinning at her ear to ear. She groaned loudly and burrowed her face on the pillow, she knew all too well that they're gonna hear it from Raven, Octavia and Anya any minute now. Lexa patted on her right and found it empty, she immediately leaned out and looked around the room.

"Clarke's already downstairs. So hurry up cause we're hungry!" Octavia grumbled, pecking the girl on her cheeks.

Lexa followed the little girl out of the room after she washed her face, gargled her mouth and fixed her hair. At least the best she can do for such a short time, plus she wanted to look extra presentable when she came face to face with Clarke. As she sauntered down the stairs and saw the girls busily preparing the dining table, Lexa couldn't help but feel the bubbling sensation in the pit of her stomach upon seeing the familiar blonde head. Clarke's hair was on a high ponytail making her more attractive as ever for Lexa. She bit her lips as she approached the dining table. All eyes turned to her, including the blonde who gave her a knowing nod. Lexa let out a soft smile and asked,

"So what are we having?"

"Anya's masterpiece! Fajitas!" Raven proudly declared as she settle down on her seat. Everybody followed suit and all eyes were on Lexa again, she looked around and saw Clarke patting an empty sit beside her. She smiled shyly and took the seat beside her.

She looked around the table at the faces which seemed to be, for Lexa, brimming with happiness.

"Oh my god! Just eat!" Lexa exclaimed, as she felt a warm and familiar feeling creeped up to her cheeks. She quickly dunked down hiding the blush on her cheeks as she felt a warm hand on hers. She looked at Clarke in the corner of her eyes and grinned. She couldn't help but feel heart swelling up with joy, as she served herself with the food in front of her.

\----------------------------------------------

"So... How's you're sleep?" Octavia peeked at the brunette as she gingerly picked up her glasses filled with apple juice.

Lexa looked at the girl and shrugged, "Good I guess. Slept pretty late," she let go a big yawn covering it with her hand.

"You don't say," Raven smirked, turning her eyes at Clarke who seemed to be choking on her meat. Clarke cleared her throat and wiped her mouth with the napkin, giving Raven a warning look.

"Nothing happened," The blonde simply stated, as if it was the easiest question to answer.

"Uh-huh. As always," Anya muttered under her breath but was loud enough for everyone to hear. Raven and Octavia snorted and shook their heads.

"What we saw this morning beg the differ," Raven hinted, biting down on her potato.

Lexa shot her eyes alarmingly, making Clarke rested her hands on the girl's lap comfortingly.

"What ever you saw it's not what it looks like, Rae," Clarke defended, feeling undeterred.

"Okay! What ever you say, Clarkey," Raven raised her hand in defeat.

Lexa knew that their morning/afternoon, will be like this. Their friends will be interrogating them none stop until they caved in but what struck Lexa the most is how Clarke seemed to be denying what happened last night. Sure they didn't do anything drastic and even if she wanted to she wanted to do it in a most appropriate time. She wanted it to be special for the both of them. But last night, at the most they just talked and laughed, sometimes make out but that was it. But it really bothered Lexa that Clarke was being aloof with her answers and the question kept pestering her 'why?'

\-------------------------------------------------------

Clarke opened her eyes feeling disoriented from the lack of sleep that she had. She looked around the room feeling confused at where she was at. The warm body that was tangled over her made her remember the party and Raven's bedroom. She gently and quietly slipped away from the brunette's embrace and stood up from the bed. Clarke watched Lexa sleep like a baby as she felt her lips formed a smile. She walked around the bed towards the bathroom but something caught her eyes. A small while paper with something written behind was jammed between Lexa's back and the comforter. Clarke carefully took it out and read what was written.

I miss you everyday. I will wait for you. As long as it takes.

The blonde turned over the paper which by then she realised was a polaroid picture and there she saw the selfie that Lexa and her took when they went back at the quarry. Their smiles were so genuine, a day that Clarke remembered was one of the best days she had with the brunette. She smiled endearingly and stared back at the sleeping brunette, as she slipped back the polaroid picture in the back of her jeans. She head towards the bathroom and refreshed herself and checked if the door was finally opened.

Clarke head down the kitchen where she heard voices.

"Clarke! Finally, you're awake. Where's Lexa?" Raven asked as she busily taking out dishes out of the dishwasher.

"Still asleep. And don't you dare think that I forgot what you people did last night! For crying out loud guys, just stop with the planning," Clarke bellowed but not loud enough for the brunette to hear upstairs.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. We were just trying to help. You've been brooding for months and we just thought that maybe you needed help. That is all," Raven muttered feeling hurt due to her best friends disapproving action.

"I know you wanted to help but that was inappropriate, Rae. Lexa and I can manage on our own," Clarke spoke with frustration and annoyance, she had enough of her friends meddling with her problems with the brunette.

"For how long, Clarke? For how long can you finally fucking do something to fix your problem with Lexa?" Anya hissed with even more aggravation, more than Clarke thought she had ever seen her before. "Look, we know what we did was really over the top. But Clarke please it's been years. Both of you know what you have is more than a best friend. You and Raven are best friend. Lexa and Octavia are best friend. And I know you know what I'm getting at," Anya ended with a final sigh.

Clarke knew, she knew that Lexa was not just a  best friend to her and that she was just using that to hold and keep to herself of what she truly feels about the girl. Because she thought that nothing was ever going to happen between them and friendship was deemed to be more appropriate but last night was different, what Lexa and her shared was different than before. However, she wasn't sure if she should share it yet with her best friends, knowing they're going to go gaga begging for details but she have to personally speak with Lexa first before making any decisions.

"I'm sorry... I know it has been tough but please try not to mention anything inappropriate when she wakes up. We just made up last night and I don't want anything to make it awkward or something," Octavia hugged Clarke and peck her on the cheek.

"No problem, Mama G! Right Raven?" The little girl said with a slight hint, Raven nodded back and gave a knowing wink.

This is gonna be a long day. Clarke thought as she went and helped the girls with the preparations of the food. Moments later, Octavia mentioned waking up Lexa and soon enough, Clarke heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. She turned around and saw Lexa with her familiar bunned up hair looking gorgeous as ever. Clarke nodded at her and smiled.

The lunch was one of an awkward conversation, no matter how much Clarke tried to shut down the bantering questions from the other girls and protecting the brunette from any unnecessary answers only made things worse. Clarke stood up and cleared her plate and then stowed it on the dishwasher. She walked back towards the dining table and beckoned Lexa.

"Come on, Lex. I'll send you home. Gustus must be already looking for you,"

Lexa looked up at Clarke questioningly but nodded in agreement. She stood up and cleared her place and put it inside the dishwasher. Hastily went up back to Raven's room to retrieve her bag.

"Gustus knows Lex's here. He knew everything," Raven informed.

"Everything? What do you mean?" Clarke asked in puzzlement.

"We kind of planned it with Gustus to make Lexa come over," Octavia revealed feeling abashed at the expression that was written all over Clarke's face.

"Are you kidding me? Gustus went along with this?" Clarke was agitated, she was fuming in anger. Above all people, Gustus the man that she trusted, the man that she looked up to like a father was a part of her friend's masterplan. Clarke buried her face on her palm and breathe deeply. She looked up by the stairs and whispered gravely at her friends.

"No one say a word of this ever again. Most especially about with Lexa's father being involved. Hell's know what gonna happened when Lexa finds out,"

The three girl's nodded in understanding as they hear footsteps emerging into the kitchen.

"Lets go, Clarke. Thank you guys for the lunch," Lexa sweetly smiled and waved at them as she and Clarke stepped out of the threshold.

\------------------------------------------------------------

Lexa couldn't help but feel uneasy ever since she woke up. The girls were awfully quiet and well behaved than the usual. Clarke was keeping a tight lipped as well. She couldn't get rid of a sick feeling that something must have happened. Lexa glimpsed at the blonde on her right, who caught her eyeing her. Clarke smiled and grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers together. Lexa decided against the confrontation and just embrace the moment she was having with Clarke.

"Well there you are," Lexa heard Clarke said, as the blonde let go of her hands.

Lexa stepped up in front of the front door and turned around. The thoughts were gnawing her alive she have to ask.

"What wrong, Clarke?" Eyeing Clarke carefully, "We're okay, right?" She continued nervously.

"Of course! Why wouldn't we be?" Clarke uttered arching her eyebrow at the brunette.

Lexa nodded and bit her lips, feeling unsure that Clarke was telling the truth but she knew if Clarke was ready she will tell her.

"Alright. Well uh... thank you for walking me home, Clarke. Have a safe walk home. Text me when you reached home," she murmured, as she stepped back reaching forward the doorknob.

"Wait!" Lexa quickly looked back feeling hopeful, "I think you forgot something," the blonde mentioned as she forked out the polaroid picture from her back jean pocket.

Lexa's eyes grew wider in horror and patted down on her jean pockets. She suddenly giggled nervously as she tried to reach for the picture but Clarke immediately and playfully pulled her arms away.

"What the heck, Clarke? Give me that back!" Lexa puffed as she started to tower over Clarke, given at their height difference. But Clarke playfully shoved the girl back, still extending her arms away from the brunette's out stretched arms.

"Tell me first what was this about?" Clarke asked with a full smirk.

Lexa groaned and buried her face in embarrassment, hiding her flustered cheeks from those blue eyes.

"It's all worn out. Do you keep this inside your pocket all the time?" Clarke asked curiously inspecting the polaroid more clearly.

Lexa sighed and sat down at the steps of her threshold. She felt her head gave a slight nod and then averted her eyes away from the blonde. She heard the blonde stifled a giggle, the one that she loves hearing. She could feel her internal organs cringing with uneasiness.

"You're adorable, you know that,"

Lexa saw the picture being thrust towards her and she took it gingerly and slipping it back inside her pocket carefully. She stood up and watched the girl in front of her smiling at her endearingly. Next thing she knew Clarke was hugging her tightly. She felt her arms hugging the girl back with much intensity and sighed.

"You better head inside, Lex," Lexa nodded and smiled as Clarke took a step back. The brunette felt her eyes flicked down on the blonde's lips and felt the sudden urge to grab and kiss her. But she was still apprehensive despite their conversations the night before. She put her thoughts at the back of her mind and turned around, twisting the door knob  open.

"Wait!" Lexa looked back feeling even more curious than ever.

"What?" Lexa asked.

"I think you're forgetting something,"

Lexa looked at her feeling perplexed, "What?"

"This."

Lexa watched Clarke darted towards her and within a blink of an eye. Clarke's lips crushed against hers, feeling the urgency and need on the blonde's touch. Lexa placed her hand over her neck, pulling her deeper to the kiss. She shivered under the blonde's touch as she snaked her arms around the brunette's waist steadying her. They were caught in the moment before realising that Gustus was standing behind them and have been clearing his throat several times already.

"AHEM!"

Lexa jumped in fright, shoving the blonde away from her. Everything was very much a dejavu, the same as the scowling expression that Clarke have on her face.

"Dad! You're home," Lexa stammered, looking in between her father and Clarke, "Clarke was just sending me home." She continued.

Lexa watched Clarke nodded at Gustus with much respect and greeted him.

"Goodafternoon, Sir," and dipped her head in a bow.

"Good to see you, Clarke," Gustus huffed, with a tinge of some weird presence that Lexa can't put her finger on.

"Same to you too, sir. Well I've got to go, Mr Heda. My mom's probably waiting for me,"

Lexa watched the short conversation between Gustus and Clarke. And then smiled back as the blonde nodded at her before she took her leave. Lexa faced her father who definitely was giving off some weird expression on his face that she had never seen before. It definitely made the girl feel uncertain and uneasy.


	22. The Secrecy

*A month later*

The loud and busting music were echoing throughout the neighbourhood, as Lexa and Clarke turned in the corner, approaching the familiar house.

"Rae, really knows how to throw a party," Clarke mumbled, gently squeezing the other girl's hand giving her a sly smile. Lexa squeezed back and watched people who seemed to be pretty drunk dancing and chasing around the front yard.

Clarke hesitantly let go of Lexa's hand. But received a reassuring smile as she looked up to her. It was not that they were hiding anything. Their circle of friends already knew that they was something fishy was going on between the two of them but Clarke and Lexa were not yet stating anything official to the public just yet. As much as possible they wanted to keep it under covers as long as they can, embracing the privacy and little world that only the two of them share, as least before Raven, Octavia and Anya smacking their asses for details.

Clarke and Lexa stepped inside the Reyes' living room crowded with unknown people prancing on the coffee table. Chugging down beer on the other corner, while numerous pairs getting hand-sy and having make out sessions against the wall. The blonde felt Lexa scooted closer and having knew that she wasn't used to this kind of scene she protectively snaked her arm around her waist and stowed her closer. Upon reaching the backyard, Clarke immediately dropped her arm back to her side and walked up to Raven.

"Clarke! Lex! Over here!" Raven ushered, with two red cups filled with some unknown liquid, ready for them.

"Bottoms up!" Raven beamed.

Clarke gagged at the taste of it and cringed at how strong the alcohol is.

"What the heck is this?" Lexa grumbled pushing the cup towards Raven who took it offendedly and drank the remaining contents. "It's Monty's special Moonshine!" She giggled and pulled the girls towards the beer pong table.

"Come on, Clarke. Let's show this bad boys who's the boss!" Raven wiggling her eyebrows, elbowed the girl on her side.

Clarke looked at Lexa who gave an approving nod and stood by the sideline watching them amusingly.

"Woah! Be careful what you're saying, Reyes. You might choke on your words," Bellamy warned getting his hands ready as he threw the white ping pong ball onto the table and landed on one of the girl's cup. "OH YEAH! That is how you do it folks" He mocked, raising her arms up sarcastically.

Raven rolled her eyes and drank half of the content and handing it over at Clarke to finish it.

"You're going down, Blake," Raven mumbled under her breath, gripping the ping pong ball.

"Oh I am willing to go down. If you know what I mean," Bellamy smirked and winked at Raven.

Clarke bursted laughing and playfully nudged Raven who hissed at her annoyingly as she threw the ball against the table. The game went for another half an hour and Bellamy and Connor was as wasted than ever. Raven jumped up and down, twirling Clarke around as she watched Bellamy's defeated look upon losing the game for the 3rd time in a row.

"It's a simple physics, Blake," Raven uttered, seductively winked at the guy and strutted back inside the house.

\----------------------------------------------------

The night was getting rowdier and louder for Lexa. She got tired of standing by the beer pong table, so she walked off towards the second storey and head towards Raven's bathroom to release the burden in her abdomen. Out of nowhere, she suddenly heard footsteps approaching the bathroom.

Lexa turned around and closed her eyes, "shit" under her breath. Upon realisation that she forgot to lock the door. She immediately zipped up her pants and turned away from the opening but before she knew it the intruder was already inside the room with her.

"Hey you,"

She opened her eyes and turned around and carefully turned around. She left a draggy sigh of relief upon realising it was just Clarke.

"Oh thank God," she panted, "I thought you were some pervert," she giggled as she walked towards the blonde.

"Hhmph! I think I'm too pretty to be a pervert," Clarke mumbled with a slurred with much evidence of alcohol in her voice.

The brunette felt her hands slid around her waist, pulling her nearer. She smiled adoringly and rested her arms on the blonde's shoulders, playing around her with hair.

"So how was the game? Did Raven made Bellamy cry?" Lexa asked, grinning at the blonde.

"Oh you have no idea. 3 wins in a row, baby!" Clarke grinned, pumping her arm in the air in celebration. Lexa giggled as she watched the blonde in contentment, as the latter slowly looked at her in the eyes and dropped down at her red lips. Clarke watched the brunette's lips quivered involuntarily, making her breathing come off too short. The blonde took a deep breath and let it go through her nostrils.

Lexa noticed this and teasingly brought her face inches away from the blonde's, "Oh yeah?" touching the tip of her nose against Clarke's and alluringly brushing it down to her cheeks, to her jawline and down to her neck. Where she planted soft kisses and nibbling playfully, hearing the blonde audibly moan in pleasure.

"Be careful what you're doing, Love. I may not constraint myself," Clarke warned gripping the girl tighter.

Lexa giggled and faced Clarke with pure innocence, "And what am I doing, Clarke?" she asked challengingly, raising her eye brow at her.

Clarke shook her head and grinned, "I hate you."

Lexa grinned back slyly, "Not from what I heard last night."

Clarke blushed as red a beet root and buried her face on the nook of the brunette's neck, making Lexa laughed at how adoringly cute Clarke was.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

*Flashback Last Night*

After their long treacherous day spent with Octavia, Raven and Anya, Clarke was glad that she finally have an alone time with Lexa. They stood by the gutter and watched Octavia's car pulled out of the parking lot by the beach and waved back at them as they dashed out towards the growing traffic. Clarke immediately pulled Lexa towards the shoreline with a bubbling excitement within her.

"Where are we going, Clarke? I thought we're heading home?" Lexa asked feeling confused at their sudden change of direction.

"Later," Still tugging the brunette towards the secluded area of the beach away from the prying eyes of the masses.

"You know, I can out run you right?" Lexa carefully mumbled, as she watched Clarke looked at her befuddled.

"Cause whatever you're plotting against me. I will be out of here in a second and call the police on you," the brunette continued with pure seriousness and warning lurking in her eyes. Clarke grinned and pulled the brunette faster.

"Relax. I'm not gonna do anything to you." Clarke giggled but promptly stopped at their track and looked back at Lexa with a deadly and grim painted on her face, making Lexa looked at her feeling startled by the sudden changed of expression, "Or would I..."

Lexa yanked her arms free and started swatting the girl, "Okay okay... I was just kidding! Jeez!"

"Not funny, Clarke!"

"Still gullible! So cute...," Clarke grinned back at Lexa who was looking at her feeling bugged and disturbed at Clarke's joke.

"Let's go," Clarke insisted still pulling the girl towards the far end of the beach.

Once they reached at the far end of the island, where strong tidal waves hitting the cliff and large boulders protruding out towards the waters. Clarke could see the opening of the cave from the distance, which she discovered a year ago when she was still trying to figure out what she was really feeling for the brunette or the ordeal with her amnesia. Clarke couldn't contain herself feeling buzzed with excitement of showing Lexa her discovery until she felt a squeeze on her hand and saw the amazed expression plastered on Lexa face. She grinned wider and started pulling the brunette faster but carefully, still keeping in mind of her having two left feet.

Upon reaching the entrance of the cave, Clarke couldn't resist but place her hand below Lexa's dropped jaw and pushing it up to close the girl's mouth. Lexa was taken aback.

"You're drooling, Lex," Clarke snickered at the girl who was scowling at her.

"This is amazing, Clarke! How did you found out about this?" Lexa asked walking in deeper into the cave, brushing her fingertips on the untouched walls of the cave.

Clarke shrugged her shoulders and said, " A day before I left for New York..." Lexa looked at her but the blonde hastily looked away because up to this point it was still a touchy subject for the both of them.

"Anyways!" She beamed pushing aside the sprouting gloomy atmosphere, she put down her backpack and pulled out her sketch book.

Lexa was watching her intently, wondering if she's going to start sketching at the dim lighting inside the cave.

"Clarke, I don't think this is the right place to start sketching. The lighting is awful,"

"I'm not," Clark murmured, as she flipped threw the pages looking for a specific drawing. She knew that the brunette was watching her curiously, so she purposely faced the sketches away from her prying eyes and tore off the paper against the spine. She put down the piece of sketch faced down on the floor but making sure it was dry firs and then stuffed her sketch book back inside her back pack.

"What's that?" Lexa asked peculiarly, furrowing her eyebrows towards the piece of paper.

Clarke stood up and smiled, she took a step towards the brunette and handed over the paper. Lexa turned it over. Clarke watched her face turned into a complete astonishment. She felt her heart swelled up with joy as Lexa looked at her lovingly, making herself looked down at her feet nervously shuffling from what foot to another.

"I love it," She heard the brunette said. Clarke looked up and felt her face lit up like a child and laughed. "This is incredible, Clarke. I...," shaking her head feeling speechless.

"That's the reason I was late the other night. I was actually behind you by the patio steps, sketching. Sorry, I couldn't resist," Clarke confessed, pursing her lips as she looked at Lexa was who was looking back at her with intensity and admiration.

"Thank you, Clarke. I love it!" Lexa grinned excitedly and throw herself to the blonde hugging her tightly.

Lexa took a step back and examined the sketch more closely. The full moon's light above the forest behind their backyard was hitting her body perfectly. She was sitting down on the ground gazing at the sky filled with illuminating stars just as it was depicted on the sketch. Clarke watched Lexa affectionately and felt her nervousness died off but was then replaced with jittery feeling at what Lexa asked her next.

"Hey what's that faint writing on the corner of the page?" Clarke arched her eyebrow and looked down at the spot that Lexa was pointing with her finger.

Clarke felt her bile rising up but immediately gulped down, upon realising that Lexa spotted the part of the sketch that she spent an hour pondering if she should leave it or not. But of course decided against it and erased it until it was unnoticeable. Dammit! I thought she won't noticed it. Make up something Clarke. Quick!

"Oh. That's nothing. Probably some scribble...," Clarke mumbled dunking down her head to keep her flustered face out of the brunette's field of vision. Is that the best you can do?

"That is definitely not a scribble. Those are letters. What does it say?" Lexa asked without hesitation, still scrutinising the piece of paper inches from her eyes.

"Look, Lex. It's nothing," Lexa looked at her feeling baffled and abashed because she felt Clarke was hiding her something.

"Okay. That is definitely something!" The brunette uttered with determination trying to find out what the word says. "Wait," as she walked towards the entrance of the cave and placed the paper against the light of the setting sun in the horizon. The letters were more visible, the blonde realised.

Clarke felt her eyes widened in horror and immediately yanked the paper away from Lexa's gripped and hastily took her bag and skipped off towards the beach, turning away from Lexa who was calling out for her. But of course with a very bad balance and running capabilities, the brunette was able to catch up with her without a problem. Oh who am I kidding?! Of course she'll catch me. I should have thrown the paper to the sea!

"Clarke?" Lexa asked worriedly. Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose and turned around facing the brunette who seemed to be startled by her reaction.

"I'm sorry. It's stupid," Clarke mumbled looking defeated.

"What is?" the other girl asked still looking clueless, which Clarke finds very adorable.

Clarke sighed and walked towards Lexa. "I love you."

She saw Lexa's eyes widened, feeling startled by her words. Clarke cleared her throat and explained, "That was what was written on the paper." Gulping down her anxiety, waiting nervously for the brunette's reply.

"Oh...," Was all that Clarke heard. Fuck. I think I've made it worse.

"It's not a big deal," Clarke shrugged but quickly turned around as she started seeing the familiar smirk creeping on Lexa's face. Argh... Here come's the playful Lexa. Clarke trudged down the beach with much purpose trying to fence off Lexa.

"So...," Lexa started, elbowing Clarke playfully. "You love me huh." Clarke looked at Lexa who was openly smirking at her. Clarke could only wish that she could just rubbed those slyness off her face.

"Argh!" Was all that Clarke could say. She was embarrassed enough and she won't stand there and being watched by her best friend making inappropriate faces at her. They were already half way through the beach back to the crowded area before she felt her arm being pulled.

"Hey," Lexa wheeled Clarke facing her, "It's okay, Clarke. It's normal to say those things,"

Clarke let out a breath and averted her eyes away shyly from those green alluring eyes.

"Sure."

Lexa hugged her tightly and stayed there for another minute. Clarke thought her legs were giving up on her cause she was practically leaning against the brunette.

"Clarke?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you say it again?" Lexa asked without releasing her arms around the blonde's body. Even hugging her tightly as if her life depended on it.

Clarke sighed and bit her lips, "Leeexxx..." she groaned.

"Please?"

The blonde sighed and whispered, "I love you, Lexa." Clarke felt her embrace was even tighter and heard a faint giggle.

The blonde took a step back and looked at the girl questionably.

"Well this was the first," Lexa mumbled smiling endearingly at the blonde.

"Actually the second time..." Clarke clarified, looking away towards the water.

"Second?" Lexa asked jogging her head for the memory.

"During you're birthday," Clarke mentioned.

Clarke looked back at Lexa was who was smiling slyly again.

"You heard it didn't you?" Clarke groaned, covering her red face with her palms, "Damn it. I thought you were already asleep."

She heard the brunette laughed at her, all the more she felt flustered and shy. Clarke felt her arms snaked around her pulling her closer, she dropped her arms to her sides feeling crushed and well embarrassed by the situation. Within a heart beat, she felt the brunette's lips crushed onto hers. Clarke was startled but quickly recovered as she pulled the brunette by the neck, deepening the kiss. she never felt this good in a very long time. Despite the fact that they were being discreet about their relationship, she doesn't mind at all because all she wanted right now was Lexa. Lexa was her 'everything'. She never want to let go of her 'everything'.

The girl's parted from the kiss and rested against each others foreheads. Clarke smiled as she closed her eyes, listening to the crushing waves, faint music from a distance away, the sound of the cars zooming by the beach.

"I love you too, Clarke,"

Clarke shot her eyes open and saw the serene and peaceful feature on Lexa's face. It was as if saying those words brings out the tranquility and peace of mind.

"Well that was a first," Clarke mumbled pulling away from Lexa. Lexa opened her eyes and smiled wider.

"Actually second time..." Clarke's face lit up and was about to say something when Lexa pulled away from her grip and came running away from the blonde. Clarke could hear faint giggles and laughter as she watched Lexa making her escape. She shook her head and grinned widely at how things turned out to be.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------

KNOCK

KNOCK

The two girls jumped away from each other and looked at the door in horror. No one comes in to Raven's room unless it's Raven herself or Octavia or Anya. Clarke gulped down the fear creeping up to her body and looked back at the brunette, who was mirroring the exact expression.

"Who is that?" Lexa mouthed, pointing to the door.

Clarke shrugged and jumped again feeling startled as the stranger started rattling the door open.

"Come on! Open up! I'm have to pee!" The person continued to pound hard on the door and prying it open.

"It's Raven! Act normal, okay?" Clarke mumbled in hush words, then placed her hands over the door knob but looked back at Lexa who nodded back.

She twisted the door open with a click, indicating that it is open and pulled it inwards. Raven came stumbling in with her her already zipped down pants, squirming towards the toilet bowl. Lexa made her exit quickly but faltered as Raven started talking.

"What were you two doing inside?" Raven peeked at them with an obvious slurred in her voice. She must have a lot to drink. She won't remember any of this by tomorrow.

"Nothing. I wasn't feeling well so Lexa helped me out," Clarke explained, hoping that Raven who was a pure genius and that can easily spot a lie, wouldn't notice her fidgeting lie. To the blonde's relief Raven nodded and shimmied up her pants and flushed down the toilet bowl.

"Well I hope you're feeling better, Princess. There's a party downstairs. Don't stay here way too long," Raven smirked and winked at Lexa knowingly as if she knew their secrets all along.

Clarke watched Raven sauntered out of her bedroom and heard her door closed. Clarke let out a shaky breath and looked at Lexa who was doing the same thing.

"That was close," Lexa mumbled, shoving her hair out of her face.

"You don't say...," Clarke answered back, still feeling unsure that Raven might suddenly sprang out to them, catching them in the act.

"I don't know how long we can keep this up, Clarke,"

"I know. But you know them they will pump you with questions until you're totally squeezed out and looking like a little prune."

"I know..." It was all that Lexa could say.

"CLARKE! LEXA! HELLO?!" Octavia opened the door in a full swing, calling out for her friends. Clarke and Lexa jumped at their place and watched Octavia scrutinising them.

"What are you doing there?"

"Nothing. I wasn't feeling well," Lexa was in turn took the explanation.

"Are you feeling okay, cupcake?" Octavia asked filled with concern, walking up to them.

"Yes. I'm feeling better now. Thanks for asking," Lexa nodded.

"Great! Now let's go down and parteeeyy!!!" Octavia bellowed as she skipped out of the room, followed by Clarke and Lexa looking ambushed as ever.

\-----------------------------------------------------------

"Clarke! There you are! I want you to meet Drew!" Anya pulled Clarke by the arm and came faced to face with a towering guy with a blonde hair gelled up perfect on the top of his head.

Clarke smiled and extended her arm, "Clarke,"

Drew shook Clarke's hand and flashed her a grin.

"Okay, Anya I think Drew and I already met. I'm just gonna be outside," Clarke started back away and looking at Lexa who seemed to be watching stoically at them.

"He's a blondie, Clarke. Look at him. You're blonde, he's blonde. You're gonna have a big blondie family!!!" Anya exclaimed, obviously in a very drunkard state.

Clarke shook her head and apologised at Drew at her best friend's intoxicated action. Drew just smiled at her and started asking her questions. Clarke wanted to walk away but he couldn't be disrespectful at Drew who was really sweet to her. Plus with Anya's strong arm linking with hers she have nowhere to run. The blonde nodded her head, smiled and laughed but discreetly looking around for Lexa but she was nowhere to be seen.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Lexa stood rooted to the ground, she felt her jaw clenched and unclenched as she watched the Drew guy flirting with her girlfriend. She puffed and decided to walked off and cool herself down before she started doing something stupid. She knew that nobody knows about her relationship with Clarke, so in another world if Clarke and her weren't an item, her friend's would still be doing the very same action. Lexa can't blame them, they just wanted Clarke to be happy and perhaps find a love interest, knowing that she's single.

Lexa rubbed her forehead trying to pipe down the bantering inside her head and took a deep breath of fresh air. She stood by Raven's balcony folding her arms against her chest and stared off towards the night sky. It's starless tonight. The brunette sighed and propped up her arm and placed her chin over her palm and that was when she heard it. She turned around and heard the toilet bowl flushed. Octavia, Anya, Clarke and Raven were downstairs. Who is this? Lexa walked up towards the bathroom getting herself ready to berate the person who aren't supposed to be in the room. Well that was before she saw who was coming out of the bathroom...

"Costia..." Lexa uttered the word as if somebody punched her in the stomach. This was the first time she ever saw her ex-girlfriend after they had broken up.

Lexa could see that Costia was surprised too, in fact more startled than her. Of course she'll be here. It's Raven's birthday for crying out loud. But she never thought this will be how she'll bumped into her after their break up.

"Lexa... Hi," Costia mumbled, looking timid and hesitant. Lexa nodded and smiled back.

"You're back," She heard from Raven that Costia had an overseas internship in Europe but she didn't know she'll be back this soon.

"Yeah, 2 days ago," Costia nodded and smiled. Having this weird awkward silence in between two ex-lovers.

Lexa tried to act normal and welcoming, as if she's just another friend that she didn't see after a long time.

"How was it?" Peeking at the girl, hoping that their past was behind them.

"It was great. I've get to see another part of the world and their culture... A bit lonely sometimes because I miss home but I've made some friends along the way. It weren't so bad after all," She said with a tint of being careful with her words. Lexa smiled warmly and nodded again.

"So uh... How are you? How was work?" Costia asked trying to keep the conversation going.

"Same. Being stressful now because dad just closed a deal with another hospital. So we're kind of in a rush with the project and stuff. But other than that, everything's good," The brunette licked her lips and gulped down feeling parched all of a sudden. She never knew running into your ex could be this awkward and to be honest, at least a bit better than some tv shows that she watched. At least they're being friendly with each other.

"Great!" Costia nodded again, "Well uh... I guess I better head downstairs Raven might be looking for me,"

"Okay. It's nice talking to you again," Lexa tried to flash a genuine smile and succeeded because Costia smiled back that same old contagious smile that she loves.

Costia walked off towards the door, as Lexa went back to the balcony staring up again to the night sky.

"Lexa?"

Lexa turned around and found Costia standing in the middle of the room. The brunette walked up at the balcony door and said, "Yes, Costia?"

Costia cleared her throat and looked at her with determination, "Are you and Clarke together?" she kept a straight face, not faltering at how Lexa fidgeted with her question.

Lexa gripped the door frame tighter until she felt a splinter might have cut through her bare skin. Should I tell her? But Clarke and I wanted to keep up discreet meaning less people as much as possible. But this is Costia, I trust her. She bit her inner cheek and shook her head. Feeling the drop in her stomach for denying what she have with the blonde over and over again that particular night.

"Oh." Was all that Costia had said.

Lexa remained stoic. Quiet and unreadable. Costia smiled at her warmly and nodded with reassurance, "Don't worry, Lex. She'll get there. You and Clarke will be together eventually. Just don't give up. Okay?"

Lexa almost felt her heart clenched in somewhat in guilt. She wanted to tell her so badly that 'Yes! I got that girl! Finally!' But she can't. She can't proudly flaunt Clarke in front of everybody... Not yet.

"Yes. I definitely hope so, Costia," Lexa smiled fervently until Clarke appeared at the doorway.

"Lexa?" The blonde peeked inside and slowly pushed the door even wider watching Lexa and Costia looking at her in a startled gaze.

"Costia!... Hi," Clarke hesitantly waved, ignoring the strong tugged in her chest upon seeing the two exes in the same room alone. I'm not the jealous type. I'm not the jealous type. She put this thoughts on a repeat inside her head, making herself slowly believed that is was true.

"Hey Clarke nice to see you again," Costia smiled, the contagious smile, she turned back to Lexa and nodded at her, "I'll head downstairs now. Remember what I said Lex. Okay?"

Costia earned herself a nod from the brunette and left the room without looking back.

\----------------------------------------------

"So she's back..." Clarke slowly walked towards Lexa.

"Yes, 2 days ago." Lexa uttered turning her back and faced the night sky again.

She felt Clarke's presence on her side and leaned in for warmth. The blonde automatically ring her left arm over Lexa's shoulder and murmured, "Should I be worried?"

Lexa looked at her ridiculously, "Of course not Clarke. You're the reason why Costia and I broke up remember? I'm in love with you. And I've wasted enough time not being with you. I don't want to ruin this thing between us." She looked at Clarke earnestly trying to drill into the blonde's head that she's hers. That Lexa belongs to Clarke and Clarke only.

Clarke smiled and nodded.

"I think I should be the one worrying. You and that Drew guy seemed to be hitting it off," Lexa playfully joked, smirking at her girlfriend.

Clarke made a face, a distaste face. "Bleah! Not my type. He kept doing this revolting sound in his nose like he wanted to vacuum everything with his nostril. It's disgusting. I bet he's a smoker,"

"Eiw, you hate smokers," Lexa mumbled making a disgusting face, "Sorry didn't worked out well with Drew. I guess you're stuck with me for the mean time,"

"Hhmmph. I'm not complaining. I think I like it here much better," Clarke grinned, pulling the brunette towards her pecking her on the lips. Lexa laughed and snaked her arm around the blonde's waist and crushed her lips against the blonde's

"Yupp, I couldn't agree more." Lexa mumbled in between kisses, grinning from time to time.

"You're cute when you're jealous," Clarke whispered as she planted soft kisses on the brunettes neck, nipping on her sensitive skin.

"I do not!" Lexa retorted feeling more flustered than before. Clarke grinned back and pulled Lexa towards the bed. Lexa flopped down and was surprised when Clarke straddled over her pushing her down the bed and started nibbling her collarbone. She hitched a breath, trying to get her thoughts straight in getting her breathing even. She clenched the blonde's waist, trying to distract her thoughts towards the weird but yet good sensation in the pit of her stomach coursing down between her legs. She had never felt this way in such a long time and damn it she was craving for it.

She felt the persistent tug of the blonde, pulling her up higher on the bed, so she took the initiative to pull herself up with her elbows and found her eyes bore on those blue orbs that was staring back at her passionately. Unconsciously Lexa licked her lips, as Clarke drawn nearer towards her lips. She tried not to squirm but the chaotic state of butterflies banging on each inside her stomach was not doing her any good. Instead she closed her eyes and waited patiently as her lips touched the familiarity of softness. She heard herself moaned and was caught surprised after unbelievably trying to restrain herself from making any sound but what Clarke was doing to her it was far from impossible.

Lexa could never imagine that Clarke, the girl that she only dreamed for countless years was on the top of her, kissing her as if is it was her life line. She was clearly over the moon and undeniably awaken as she raked Clarke's back hungrily as the girl started nibbling her bottom lips.

"Clarke," she grasped, feeling the blonde's back until she reached the hem of her blouse. Slowly she snaked her hands underneath it, making the girl shiver under her touch. Grabbing the girl tightly under her embrace, she toppled her over effortlessly so now Lexa was on top straddling the blonde who seemed to be startled by the aggression.

"Feisty. I like," Clarke grinned, winking at the brunette who was towering over her with a hint of a smile.

"My turn," She whispered against the blonde's ear and nipped on her earlobe earning herself a loud moan from Clarke. Pleased with her action, she met with Clarke's eager lips and kissed her hastily. Clarke whimpered all the more making the brunette smile and roamed her body freely. Feeling and caressing every nook and cranny, every inch of her without faltering at the sound that girl beneath was making. Lexa moved her hand smoothly over the girl's toned stomach and felt it dipped involuntarily.

Clarke weeped under her, "You're hand's cold, Lex."

"All the more exciting," Lexa winked and grinned as she went back down to the blonde's awaiting lips making her shut up in an instant.

Her hands skimmed through the exposed flesh until she could feel the lace of the bra, she trailed behind the blonde's back trying to feel the hook. But Clarke took her hand and placed it in between her chest.

"The hooks at the front. Easier," Clarke murmured under Lexa's lips.

"How efficient," Lexa teased, making Clarke rolled her eyes. The brunette giggled by the thought of it and didn't wasted another second unhooking and set it free from its cups. Lexa heard a faint moan and shiver as she caressed her nipple in between her fingers, tugging it gently emitting a louder moan from the girl's mouth.

"You're so frustrating," Clarke whined, as she detached herself from Lexa's lips. The brunette just grinned and went down teasingly licking and sucking on her delicate skin leaving marks visible enough for people to see. She smiled at it having known that Lexa was there, that she left a mark on Clarke.

"How so?" Lexa challenged, arching her eyebrow at Clarke who stared at her poutingly. The blonde puffed and averted her eyes away from the wide grin that was showing on Lexa's smirked face. She snickered and pushed the blouse up to the blonde's neck and glided her way down to her bosom and started sucking every skin of her, deterring from one spot that she knew Clarke desperately wanted her to be.

Lexa heard an aggravated groan, "Lexa, for crying out loud!" Clarke grasped breathily, gripping the girl by the shoulders.

Lexa sniggered under her breath and slid down on the unnerving spot, making Clarke shuddered and sighed, in much to the brunette's comprehension, of relief. A pant was more audible now, as she playfully placed the tip in between her teeth and flicked her tongue back and forth in a fast motion, whilst the other was not gone unnoticed as she gingerly tugging and caressing it. Lexa took her time and attention giving each side an equal attention, only making the girl beneath writhe in hormones and weeps. She eventually migrated down to her stomach taking a big bite, making Clarke groan and moan in pleasure, she sucked on her skin by the belly button leaving yet another reddish mark to smirk at.

"Lexaaa," Clarke moaned desperately, gripping the girl's shoulder as she felt herself squirm under the brunette's mark, biting her lips trying to trap another moan.

Lexa grinned and looked up at Clarke who have her eyes closed, biting her lips. She couldn't feel even more turned on by the looks of the blonde. She pulled herself up to her ears and whispered, "Klark...," in an accent that she no longer used for almost a decade.

"Fuck..." Clarke shot her eyes open feeling more aroused by the sudden change of accent. She looked at Lexa who was staring down at her with much evident lust, was lost for words.

Lexa took this moment to sheepishly smile at her and crushed her lips against hers with relentless passion that she almost forgot that they were at a party or that they were not alone in the house. But her hormones beat that thought away from her, as she fondled down on Clarke's legs. She was getting high, her mind was in a fuzzy distortion and all her focus was on the girl below her. And due to that she was taken aback by a warm hand, guiding hers towards in between the girl's leg, pushing it down gently.

Lexa broke away from the kiss, feeling stunned, "Are you sure?" Trying to see any form of hesitation or some sort.

The blonde nodded readily and pulled her head back for a kiss. She kissed her more hungrily now, with so much urgency. Compared to the initial teasing and time consuming passion but now it was different. They were hungry, starving for each others kiss, each others touch. They both wanted this.

"I want you, Lexa," Clarke whispered without any refrain but pure strong emotion.

Lexa felt the button on Clarke's leather pants and quickly undo it. She let Clarke shimmied down her pants as Lexa gave another endearing look, whom nodded reassuringly.

She smiled and dived back down towards her swollen lips, and found her hand down to her clit, lightly making a circular motion. Clarke broke out of the kiss and sighed with an obvious pleasure. The brunette dipped down to her neck nuzzling it as she slowly tempting circles at the girl's entrance. The brunette could hear the panting and wanting on her ears, the strong heavy breathing of words that sent Lexa on spiral.

"Lexa please..." Lexa didn't wasted anymore time, she wanted this. She bit hard on Clarke's neck trying to release her tension and being oddly turned on, making the girl sobbed under her embrace and then inserted a finger inside of her, all the more sending the girl on her tipping point.

Clark hitched a breath and moaned loudly on her ears, gripping and digging her fingernails on her bare skin. She pumped faster, making the blonde fall back her head and panted harder each time.

"Lex....," Clarke moaned in her hears, she took the signal and, inserted another finger and sucked on her nipple harder, flicking it playfully with her tongue. "Oh Goodd..."

Lexa felt Clarke's fingernails digging deeper to her back, and so was her body moving to the rhythm of their passion. Lexa never felt this good pleasing her love. The girl that she was filled with zealous, the person whom she loved and never will stop loving.

"I'm coming....," The blonde sobbed, as she pleasurably bit Lexa's shoulder blade whom in turn let out a loud sigh.

The brunette felt the blonde's body moving along with her hands, rising up from the bed, motioning her hips to the rhythm of her pumping hand. Lexa trudged on faster and harder, doing whatever it takes to send the girl over the edge. She inserted another finger and angled her body to have a better motion but felt Clarke pulling her towards her body for warmth. She willingly laid her body on the top of the blonde and started nipping on her bare chest, radiating another whimper. Moments more, Clarke was fidgeting, she was grasping for air, clenching and unclenching her grip over the brunette's body. Lexa knew she's almost on the verge of breaking down, she quickly took the last stride and made a wider circle around the inside of the girl and felt Clarke collapsed  back to the bed and quivered, as she released herself, letting out another audible and final wail. Lexa flopped down the bed, panting hard as she leaned against the blonde's forehead with their eyes closed. They stayed stationary for awhile longer, at each others warm embrace, listening to the beat of their heart and slow evening breaths.

"That was different," Clarke mumbled, fluttering her eyes open as it captures those green eyes peering at her.

Lexa hummed and peck her lightly on the lips.

"Definitely different." Lexa agreed.

\----------------------------------------------------------

"Clarke! Lexa! Where the hell are you?!"

Clarke instantly felt herself being shoved out of bed and ended up stumbling on her side. She immediately stood up and hissed at the brunette who was struck by horror.

"I'm sorry! I panicked!" Lexa whispered, as she patted down her hair and fixed her shirt.

"Every time, Heda. Every fucking time," Clarke shook her head in annoyance and jumped at her spot feeling startled as the voice was getting nearer.

"Shit! Raven," Lexa stared back at Clarke in horror, who in turn started pulling up her pants back in place, hooked her bar and tidied up her disheveled hair.

Clarke snapped back her head towards the opening door and found Raven looking around the pitch dark room until she found them standing awkwardly by the bed.

"What are you doing there? Come on! There's a party downstairs. We're starting truth or dare! We need more people!" Raven called out ushering the two girls out of the room.

Clarke stepped out on the well lighted hallway dunking her well flustered face away from Raven's vision. The last thing she wanted was for Raven to annoyingly tease her to Lexa. She's never gonna see no ending at that one. Raven slumped her arm over the blonde's shoulder and pecked her cheek.

"You're drunk, Rae. Better stop drinking before you do something stupid again." Clarke glared at the girl who was smiling at her sheepishly.

"I think you've been living under the rock the whole night, Princess. Cause I...," Raven let out a loud burp on the blonde's face, who grimaced by the smell of her breath. "have already made a big fool of myself loads of times." She continued.

Clarke looked at her with much distaste and heard Lexa snickered at her side. She elbowed the brunette as they carefully walked down the stairs and met with the others in the backyard who was already forming a wide circle with an empty wine bottle right in the middle.

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Please let's give a warm welcome to Clarke and Lexa!" Octavia announced, clapping enthusiastically followed by the rest of the crowd at the backyard.

Clarke groaned as Raven pushed her and Lexa towards the spaces in between the circle.

"Thanks guys. Very welcoming," Clarke lamely murmured, she peeked at the girl beside who smiled shyly at her wringing hands. She's so different on the bed. Clarke thought to herself, only making her heart swelled up of seeing another side of Lexa that she never knew existed.

Octavia spun the wine bottle and stopped directly at this girl that they called Monroe. Monroe chose dare without hesitation and next thing Clarke knew she was lap dancing at another girl's lap. Everybody was shouting and whistling until the girl fell on the grass laughing her heart out. Monroe spun the bottle around and landed on Costia. Clarke didn't even realised that she was on the circle. She swallowed her growing anxiety and watched Lexa beside her smiling at her ex. Clarke couldn't help but feel the urge to wipe away that smile. That smile should be directed at me. Not her.... Fuck, Clarke. Get your shit together. Lexa loves you. Costia is nothing. The blonde let out a shaky breath and shut her eyes tightly for a few seconds and opening them again and realised that everyones eyes were at her. Wait. Why are they staring at me?... Oh. Not me... At Lexa. She looked at the brunette beside her who was furrowing her eyebrows, something that she knew that something was bothering Lexa.

Lexa looked at her and smiled sweetly and within a heartbeat she started to feel as the world is better place again. She felt the brunette's hand over hers, squeezing it reassuringly. But still Clarke was befuddled because up to this point she was still lost at why was everybody was staring at Lexa.

"Why was everyone staring at you?"

Lexa looked at her, "Costia said she's still in love with me," she mentioned these words as if it was a normal thing to say. As if this words doesn't mean anything to her. Clarke felt a pang of guilt seeping in, not because she had somehow held responsibility for their break up but because she felt jealous over someone that Lexa was over with. Someone that Lexa kept repeating over and over again to her, that she didn't love anymore. Clarke knew that Lexa trusts her with all her heart but the blonde wasn't so sure if she trusts Lexa a that capacity. Clarke buried her face over her palm for a brief moment, pondering at this realisation. She never wanted anything to ruin or make things shaky with her relationship with Lexa. No. I don't want any of this bullshit. Lexa loves me and I love Lexa. That what matters the most.

Clarke felt a hand wrapped around her forearm and looked up, "Are you feeling okay, Clarke?" Lexa was inches from her, her green eyes were filled with concern and worry. Something that Clarke doesn't want admit that she hates it when people started worrying about her most especially Lexa herself. Be strong, Clarke.

She straightened up on her sitting position and smiled at the brunette, "Peachy."

She immediately averted her eyes away from the brunette cause she knew that Lexa could read her more than anyone and she hated that. Clarke watched people getting crazy and doing some stupid actions until the bottle of wine landed on her.

"You're up, Princess. Dare or Dare?"  Raven chimed in, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Whatever happened to the Truth?" Clarke puffed, who only received back a sheepish shrug from her bestfriend. She rolled her eyes at her. I'm really gonna smack her smirking face any day now. Clarke thought to herself as she started listening to what Raven was saying.

"I dare you... to have a 7 minute of heaven with... Drew!" Clarke snapped her head at her proposition.

"What?!"

"Come on, Clarke. You're single. He's single."

"PLUS! He's blonde. You're blonde. You're gonna have a blondie family!" Anya interjected, clearly the alcohol already seeped inside her brain.

Clarke shook her head relentlessly and looked over at Drew who was looking at her pretty amused himself. She felt someone grabbed her hand and realised it was Lexa, "It's fine. Go," she murmured reassuringly.

Clarke was about to say something to Lexa, when Raven shoved her out of the circle and then dragged her, followed by Drew, inside an empty coat closet by the entrance.

"You guys have fun!" Raven cheered, as she slammed the door in front of their faces.

Clarke moved away from the door and timidly looked at Drew. She sighed and opened her mouth but the guy cut in.

"I know. You have a girlfriend. We don't have to do anything."

"Look.... Wait. What?!" Clarke was flabbergasted, nobody knew about them not even their best friends.

"I saw you by the balcony on the other side of the house while I was peeing. So I assume..."

Drew looked at her carefully, seemed to be making sure if what he saw was correct. "You and Lexa are together right? Cause I'm really sorry if you guys aren't... I totally assume things again... Lexa was pretty hot--"

"Lexa was pretty hot".... No! Lexa is mine! Clarke got her defence mode on and cleared her throat. "Yes. Lexa and I are together but nobody knew about it. Not even our friends. So I really appreciate if you don't say anything regarding this matter. We're trying to take things slow."

Drew nodded at Clarke, understanding every single word she was saying.

"You've got to promise, Drew. No word at all,"

"I promise, Clarke. Pinky swear," Drew mumbled assuringly and stuck out his pinky towards the blonde. Clarke grinned and shook her head at how childish they seemed, she pinky swore with Drew and dropped her hand by her side.

Clarke was glad. At least the alcohol haven't fried up his brain yet.... Talking about fried up brains. Anya needs to go home. Clarke sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose as she leaned against the wall.

Drew mirrored her action and said, "I guess we will be stuck here for another..." Checking his watch, "5 minutes."

Clarke nodded, she tried not to think at the possible tangled mess she and Lexa might end up with. She never thought to herself being out of the closet or by not talking about her sexual preference, not even to her mom or her best friends. People just assume that she is one but then again it never occurred to her until she met Lexa on her first day. Slowly up to this point that she finalised with herself that yes, she is in fact a bisexual. It was something that made her hands twitch, she never thought she'll get attracted to girls until Lexa came to her life.

Clarke sighed and looked at Drew who seemed to have fallen asleep opposite her. Few minutes later, she heard footsteps and opening of the door. She nudged drew away, who immediately sprung up to his feet and waited for the door to open. Raven popped her head between the crack of the door and grinned slyly. Clarke rolled her eyes and pushed the door wider and walked back to the backyard.

"All hail! Drew and Clarke finally came out of the closet!" Octavia openly announced, everybody made a round of applause and whistled as the duo approaching back the circle.

Clarke grinned and sat back down at her initial position and thought, What a pun.

Lexa nudged her at the side and asked playfully, "Had fun?"

Clarke decided to play along as if they really did something naughty.

"Oh god, yes! He's lips is so soft. Such a pillow lips. I can't resist it," The blonde mumbled as she eyed Drew across from her who smiled back. She bit her lips mockingly and looked back at Lexa who have her eyebrow furrowed looking displeased as ever.

Clarke chuckled and jabbed her jokingly, "Hey..." Lexa didn't responded. "Babe..." Clarke touched the brunette's cheek and pushed towards her so their facing face to face. Lexa's eyes were saddened, only made Clarke smiled adoringly at her. "You're so cute, you know that."

Lexa puffed and averted her eyes away from hers.

"Nothing happened, Lexa," In a much serious tone, Lexa looked up looking all hopeful like a little child. "Really?"

Clarke nodded and smiled, "Plus he slept on me. So... That's already a minus point." Clarke winked, making Lexa grinned back radiating the light in her eyes. "On a much serious note, Drew knows about us," Lexa's face fell and Clarke quickly recovered back knowing that the brunette will start to panic, "Buutt... He promised that he'll keep his mouth shut."

"How could you be so sure? You hardly knew the guy,"

"Well he have to. He pinky swore!"

Lexa rolled her eyes at the explanation and took the blonde's hand on her lap. Clarke leaned in against Lexa's ear and whispered, "I love you, Lex."

The brunette smiled back at her and leaned in, "I love you too, Klark."

Lexa watched Clarke's eye widened upon hearing the accent, as deep shade of pink started creeping up on her cheeks. Upon seeing this reaction, the brunette sniggered quietly and averted her vision away breaking the lust and intensity radiating on those blue eyes.


	23. As Long As It Takes

"Oh fuuuckk... my head...," Raven groaned huskily as she lifted her head feeling disoriented by the blinding sunlight by the backyard. After terribly failing numerous tries to prop herself up she decided to lay down for a couple of minutes until her pounding headache subsides.

"Well... Goodmorning there, little pocketful of sunshine!"

The laying girl squinted her eyes and found Octavia beaming widely above her. She sighed, "arrghh... shut the fuck up, O. You're being too loud..." closing her eyes again.

Octavia rolled her eyes and crouched beside the girl who was lying down motionlessly by the patio steps, "come on...," pulling Raven into a sitting position, "up you go...," the taller girl groaned in pain as if her entire body had been ran over by a truck. "Here," pushing a glass of water and Tylenol on her hand.

"Nice... Always my knight in shining armour," she chided jokingly, swallowing the pill followed by the glass of water.

"Of course, who else gonna take care of you," Raven shot her a glare, Octavia knew that her best friend was always been an independent lady and little acts like this don't always go unnoticed to the other girl.

"I will pay you back... I don't need people to take care of me," she sighed, rubbing her temple in a circular motion slowly feeling the ache subsiding.

"Whatever... Stop being so childish. Sometimes it's nice to let people take care of you from time to time," the tiny girl puffed annoyingly as she scanned the entire backyard, "that was one wild night. It's gonna take you hours to get rid of this people," gesturing at the numbers of lifeless bodies scattered all over the place.

Guys slumped over the ping pong table, girls laid out by the beach chairs, some girl... wait, a guy in a pink tutu floating aimlessly on a float around the pool. Raven pulled herself up, Octavia quickly held her arms for support but the girl batted her off. She shook her head by the scene, got too carried away again, Reyes.

"Come on, let's wake them up. We have to clear everything before they called in for mass suicide,"

The two girls spent the entire morning getting rid of the lifeless bodies dispersed around the house and cleaned up the place until its sparkly clean with no trace of alcohol or tobacco for that matter.

"That was one tough morning. If only I knew that I'll be cleaning up after the party I should have left hours ago," Octavia tiredly uttered, wiping away the perspiration on her forehead.

"Don't worry. I'll pay you back," Raven asserted firmly, the tiny girl shot her a glare and angrily bellowed, "you better stop that, Reyes! I'm your freaking best friend and that's what we supposed to do. We supposed to help each other out, even if...," throwing away the small cloth filled with vomit, "how disgusting it is...arrghh..." she shuddered.

"Speaking of which... did you see Clarke and Lexa?"

Anya suddenly emerged under the table and groaned, making Raven jumped in shocked,

"Anya! SHIT! You scared the crap out of me. What are you doing down there?"

"I don't know," rubbing her head, wincing at the pain, "I think I saw Lexa and Clarke took a cab and left. To hell don't know where..."

Both girls stared at her questioningly, "Hey don't look at me as if I have the answer to everything. I don't even know why I'm under the table in the first place."

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"Clarke...,"

She heard a hum, "Clarke...," rubbing the girl's back with the tip of her fingertips, she felt the blonde shuddered under her touch and smiled. She loves it whenever she makes the other girl react on certain actions that she can only do. Lexa watched the sleepy girl turned over and cuddled deeper on her neck.

"5 more minutes, mom..."

Lexa sniggered by the words, "Claaarrkkee... We have to get up. My dad might start looking for us. He's gonna start calling in--"

"ALEXANDRIA! Breakfast is ready!" Gustus called out by the foot of the stairs.

"... Now."

"Argh... I don't know how can a busy business man like your father still have time to make breakfast everyday," Clarke groggily looked up, squinting her tired eyes at the beauty before her. Her clouded and hungover head forgot how stunningly beautiful her girlfriend was it made her heart skipped a beat.

Lexa shrugged, "I'm surprised myself too... But it's my dad's up bringing. He sees things differently which I am glad. Cause if he don't I'm probably engaged with a CEO's son by now,"

Clarke pouted with a frown look, "No! Lexa's mine!" embracing the grinning girl tightly, who started laughing throatily by the blonde's reaction.

"Clarke... Cla--...." the brunette tried to push the girl away but it was fruitless. Seriously, the iron grip of this woman! "I can't breathe! You're killing me, Clarke!" eventually, Clarke let her go and hopped off the bed and stormed into the bathroom.

Moments later,

"Does your dad know?"

Making Lexa turned her head by the closed bathroom door, she stammered, "Umm... No."

"What?" Clarke popped her head by the door with a toothbrush in her mouth.

"No. He doesn't know... yet," avoiding the blonde's disdained eyes.

They had this conversation before, among all their friends and families the first person that they wanted to be outed to was Gustus because Clarke trusted him like a father. It wasn't like Abby was a stranger to her daughter's possible queerness but it was just the fact that the older Heda seemed to have a sense of security and more lenient reaction compared to her own mother.

"Is that my toothbrush?!" Lexa spatted, narrowing her eyes at the blonde. Clarke quickly re-entered the bathroom and locked the door. She knew that Lexa was a total clean freak, she doesn't want her personal things being touched by other people, even with Clarke she'd gone berserk trying to use her comb.

THUD! THUD!

Clarke jumped by the loud banging on the door. Immediately, she brushed her teeth and tongue clean, gargled and grinned by the fuming brunette outside the door.

"Clarke! I told you, my stuff is my stuff. I have a spare toothbrush inside the drawer, dammit!"

Clarke suddenly opened the door, surprising Lexa and ended up stumbling backwards. The blonde knotted her eyebrows and said, "You do realised that my tongue had been inside your mouth, right?"

Lexa puffed defeatedly, "That's different!"

"Riiight..." Rolling her eyes, "Great comeback, Commander. Anyways, what is done is done," shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly and went back inside to wash her face and fix her hair - using the spare comb just for her. She watched the brunette in the corner of her eyes moving back and forth the bathroom until she stopped beside her, took the toothbrush that she just used and threw it on the garbage. This girl has some serious problem!

Clarke rolled her eyes and monotonously said, " Such a waste of money," she tutted, mindlessly combing her hair, sighing from time to time.

"Sorry, babe. That's part of the deal you that you sealed with a kiss,"

"Is there a way to unseal that deal? I'm kind of having second thoughts," turning around to the brunette, who was gapping at her as if she just uttered the forbidden words. "I'm just kidding! Relax, Lexa. I won't do that to you... I love you," pulling the girl for a kiss.

"Wait... I haven't brushed my teeth..." Lexa reluctantly said, placing her hands over Clarke's chest.

"I...," taking the brunette's hands, "Don't..." pulling it behind the tall girl's back, and locked her tightly, "Care...," moving forward on the awaiting lips that tasted much of booze and something sweet.

Lexa moaned by the touch, her nerves reacted as if they were kissing for the first time again and it made her feel weightless as if she's floating in the air. Soon her wrists were free from the blonde's grip, she pulled the girl closer by the waist and deepened the kiss. Her headache was subsiding as if the kiss was the cure of all the pain that she was feeling. As if it was all that she ever needed, as if it was the only answer she needed to hear to make things better again. She heard the girl made a rough moan as she softly nimble nibble on her lower lips, aggressively, she pushed the girl on the counter and lifted her legs up and placed her over it.

Clarke took the hint and wrapped her legs around Lexa's lean body, and leaned down nipped a wet trail down her jawline until she reached her earlobe and started sucking it. The brunette gripped the blonde's flawless bare back...

AHEM!

Lexa, without second thoughts, pushed the girl off her and stumbled backwards.

"OW! LEX!" Clarke groaned rubbing her head in much pain as it bounced back from the wall mirror.

"I'm sorry, Clarke," moving suddenly forward towards the aching girl.

"Well..." Gustus intercepted.

"Dad! I...," pointing Clarke then herself back and forth, losing words to say, "I was just... We were just... Don't..."

"Breakfast is ready, Alexandria. Bring your friend along. She needs some ice on that," eyeing the groaning blonde by the sink.

When Clarke opened her eyes, as if preparing herself to meet the flaming red eyes of Gustus, she stunned that there was nothing but pure concern. They made contact for a brief moment until the big man spoke again.

"Clarke," Gustus nodded at the blonde.

"Mr Heda," she nodded back, trying to fight the urge to wince by the fact that they were caught red handed again.

As Mr Heda took his leave, the two girls let out a heavy breath as if they've been holding their breath the entire time. Clarke watched Lexa started pacing back and forth the bathroom, rubbing her forehead again with an obvious concern on her face.

"Lexa will you relax. You're gonna bore holes on your bathroom floor with all the pacing," Clarke exasperatedly sigh, jumping down from the counter. She then folded her arms and continued watching the girl, seemed to her, hyperventilating by the moment. She took the queue to take hold of the brunette and hugged her tightly.

"Hey, relax. Everything's going to be okay," looking back at those green eyes, "Brush your teeth and let's head down for breakfast. We can talk to your dad about it. I think it's time."

Lexa nodded apprehensively, "You're right... You're right," pulling away from the blonde's embrace, "I mean... what could go wrong right?" pulling out a brand new toothbrush and started brushing her teeth.

"Right. What could possibly go wrong," Clarke nodded in agreement.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the two girls walked down the stairs, Gustus couldn't help but cross his arms and stared at the two figures approaching. It was obvious that the girls were fidgeting with nervousness and stealing glances for comfort. He shook his head in dismay, as the two girls pulled out a chair to sit. He was the first to pierce through the silence, Gustus cleared his throat and started slicing his blueberry pancake.

"So... How are things?" not giving any glances at the stoned girls. He could hear soft whispers in front of him but was still eyeing his food as if it was far more interesting than the two girls.

"Uhh... Everything's fine, dad," He looked up and saw Lexa giving him a tight smile. He hummed and looked at the other girl, who was obviously looking away with a very deep crimson red cheeks. Gustus couldn't help it but asked away.

"Why looking all flustered, Clarke?" arching his eyebrows at the blonde. Clarke darted his eye at him in great panic, unconsciously touching his cheeks with both hands.

"Um... No- ... No-- thing, sir," she stuttered.

He hummed again, "Good. I thought you were hiding something." Slowly peeking at Lexa who was giving him a hard full poker face, he took the challenge and stared back at her. The moment was sparking with intensity, the atmosphere was getting stuffy but I am not backing down. These girls better tell me what's going on. Octavia sure as hell doesn't know neither was Raven or Anya.

"Alexandria!" He bellowed, he heard Clarke jumped on her seat, " Will you kindly take some ice for Clarke's head?" softening down his voice, still eyeing the brunette who broke away from the stare are looked at Clarke watching her leave.

Once Gustus and Clarke were finally alone, he started berating the blonde, "Why haven't you tell me, Clarke? I thought I was first to know that you and Lexa were finally together."

Clarke was surprised, she didn't expect for Gustus to say such things, "I'm sorry, Mr Heda. But...," looking back at the kitchen door anticipating for her girlfriend to come out anytime, "we don't meant for it to be a secret. We just want to be under the radar."

"Either way you looked at it, it is still a secret."

He noticed that Clakre flinched by the words, the blonde shook her head with much disappointment, "Like how you planned with Raven, Octavia and Anya to make me and Lexa come to the party?" Gustus softens her glares and swallowed, he expect for Clarke to know about the plans, "Yeah... I know about you and my friends little master plan. I'm sorry, Mr Heda. But I've trusted you... Hell Lexa trusted you! How could you do this her?"

Gustus wasn't expecting this, he thought he got everything figured out. He thought that the master plan would soon died down after the party, he shook his head in great chagrin and looked at Clarke pleadingly, "I'm sorry, Clarke it came to this. But I just want Lexa to be happy. I want you to be happy. If we don't do what we did it's gonna take months... or even years for the both of you to realise. I did not regret what I did." he uttered in a much serious tone.

Clarke sighed, looking around the room for the next word to say and when none came. Lexa came strolling back into the dining room and handed the blonde a cloth filled with ice cubes, "I'm really sorry, Clarke," placing it at the back of the girl's head, "I panicked..." she whispered even softer.

The blonde rolled her eyes by the fact that every single time they got caught she always gets to be the one getting physically hurt. "Not a problem! Anytime!" she uttered sarcastically, Lexa pouted at her and drifted her eyes back to her father who was watching them amusingly.

"Father," Lexa addressed formally, started looking all determined, "I've got something to tell you. Something...very important," she glanced back at Clarke who was holding still the ice over her head and looking at her with a tint of concern. Lexa smiled reassuringly and took her free hand over her lap and squeezed tightly. "Clarke and I... We're...," Breath in, Lexa. You can do this. "Together... But before you get all upset or going on how she's my best friend. How we had a dramatic history. Untold feelings etcetera... We're past that and decided to... finally be together. I love her and I can't stand being away from her anymore. I hope to get you're blessing...," taking a sharp breath, "I'm begging you."

Lexa watched her father reaction, squeezing Clarke's, uncanny, warm hand over her lap. Gustus just stared at her with no reaction what so ever. The brunette got scared, she thought that her own father might disown her after all that had happened between her and the blonde. "Father?" she asked worriedly, "please say something..."

Gustus laughed hysterically, "Hey Raven did you get that on tape?"

Lexa and Clarke shot their eyes around the room, at every nook and cranny for any hidden cameras.

"We've got everything, Mr Heda," Raven chuckled followed by Octavia and Anya emerging out of the hallway. The tanned girl sighed as he closed the camcorder and put it down on the table, "Clarke and Lexa you actually thought we didn't know?" she tutted.

"What?... How?..." Clarke was lost for words, how could they possibly made another plan outside the masterplan unless THAT'S the masterplan.

"Oh you should have seen the look on your faces," Octavia beamed patting the two girls on the shoulder, Lexa irked away from her and glared menacingly. The tiny girl held up her hands in defence and hid behind Anya who just sighed and as always started explaining everything again.

"We've noticed how the both of you getting all handsy and stuff every time we hang out. How Lexa would casually glide along her hand behind Clarke's back. How Clarke would protectively cling on Lexa when a girl was checking her out."

"It's really disgusting, if you asked me," Octavia chided, making a gagging sound.

"So we've made an observation and test run, trial and error whatever you call it. Based on what we've observed and theories. Yeah so scientific right? So awesome!... Anyways, so I personally called Costia to come to my birthday even though she was very reluctant to come because... well the obvious reason," Raven informed, looking at Lexa who almost flinched by the sound the girl's name, "but she agreed knowing that despite everything she still believe that you and Clarke truly belongs together. So we made her as one of our little "doggie treat" if you may put it... For you," pointing at Lexa.

"And!" Anya added, "Drew the awesome blonde guy for you, Clarke. He did dished out some pretty steamy stuff if you know what I mean..." wiggling her eyebrows playfully at the two speechless girls.

"He pinky swore!" Clarke gasped, very much disappointed by the break of the most vital promise knot ever created by mankind. Gustus chuckled by this and shook his head.

"What he told us was indeed the cherry on top. Double confirmation. And sealed with a kiss!" Pulling out her phone, Raven shoved the pic of Clarke and Lexa making out on her bedroom balcony. Lexa gasped in horror as if she had seen a ghost, she turned white as paper and immediately stole Raven's phone and started deleting the picture.

"Go on then. Delete them. You don't think a smart ass like me didn't made dozens of copies? HARD AND SOFT copies. Mind you," fully smirking at the two girls still with their eye wide open in complete and utter terror on what was actually going on.

"I can't believe this. I just... For the past 4 years. 4 years! We've been played by the people that we've called best friend," Clarke shook her head in great disappointment, she turned to Lexa and asked annoyingly, "where did you find this bunch of people huh, Lex? We totally could have done much better."

Lexa just shook her head and rubbed her forehead, still trying to process of what was exactly was going on. She can't believe that her friends would actually pull out a plan like that. Not once but several times for the past few years that they had known each other. Unbelievable! I've trusted them. We've trusted them.

"Okay before the both of you started blaming this and that. We just have to be clear. We didn't start doing anything unless we see that the both of you clearly needed help. If we see that the situation is really shaky we back out. Its a no go,"

Clarke was getting really agitated by the revelation, "really? Back out? When? When did that ever happened?" she challenged, standing up tall from her chair with folded arms against her chest.

"Simple. When you just got back from New York," Octavia muttered as a matter of fact, the blonde slowly dropped her arms and sat back down quietly, looking away for the pairs of eyes following her move, most critically the green ones that seemed to never lost the pain in her eyes every single time New York was mentioned.

Anya sighed heavily, seeing that the confrontation or "intervention" as Raven puts it, would turn into this bleak situation. She thought that Lexa and Clarke would be thankful though she knew deep inside that it was a far fetch but she was still hoping.

"Look. We're not trying to be the bad guys. We just wanted to help... To... speed a little things up. We meant no harm - physically," looking at Octavia and Lexa, "or emotionally," looking at Clarke and the brunette, "Our intentions are clean. We're your best friends. We don't wanna hurt you in anyway possible. We know that we may have approached things a little too aggressive or off putting but we meant good...," sighing again, looking at Gustus, Octavia and Raven, "It's up to you to believe us. And we understand if you won't forgive the things that we've done. But at least try to understand that what we've done is to bring the both of you closer and you know... realise what you really felt for each other," giving one last shrug.

Lexa and Clarke looked at each other, as they're communication silently with their eyes. Lexa knew that her friends meant no harm, that they were just trying to help. But she couldn't get rid of the bad feeling that even her dad got involved in it. She felt her hand being squeezed gently by her girlfriend and she knew that she have to eventually forgive because honestly speaking, if it weren't for them Clarke and her won't be together. At least not so soon. I guess the good thing had already happened. I got the girl. And everybody already knows about it. Well except for Abby...

"Abby doesn't know yet," she mentioned casually.

"Oh you don't have to worry about that. Abby actually made a bet with me, on how long the both of you gonna break down and tell us," Gustus chuckled pulling out his phone and taking off the headset. "Hi, Abby! Sorry to keep you waiting. I hope you get to hear everything. Say hi to your daughter and you're daughter in law,"

"Mom!" Clarke exclaimed in great shock, all her hair started rising at its roots as if ice cold bucket had poured over her all of a sudden. "You... How long have you been on skype?"

"Oh Clarke... Long enough," Abby slyly uttered, winking at the girl. "I'm so happy for the both of you! Finally after 4 aching years," Abby sighed, shaking her head almost at tears.

"Moomm... You're tearing up again," Clarke whined looking away from her mom, turning away from her friends as blush started creeping on her cheeks again. Screw this stupid blush!

"Sorry honey. I'm just really happy for the both of you! We should have a celebration! Gustus! We should plan an engagement party!" Gustus turned the phone towards him and chuckled by the sound of it.

"That sounds great! Let's meet up tomorrow,"

"Engagement party?! Are you kidding me?!" Lexa hollered and stared at them insanely. "You people are crazy! We've only been together for a few months now we're getting engaged. I haven't even brought Clarke out on a proper date yet because of all the hiding. Jesus!"

"Relax, honey. You have all the time in the world. Nothing's stopping you now," Gustus winked at her daughter who took her turn to get all flustered. But easily as it went, as easily it goes, she's back to business and stood up from her seat.

"Well... if you put it that way. Please excuse us," beckoning for Clarke to stand up, who instantly were on her two feet beside Lexa, "I have to ask Clarke something. Clarke," turning to the blonde, taking her hands on hers, "will you go out with me? For real. No more hiding. No more secret getaways that always failed miserably," side glancing at her friends who were snickering by the corner, "Please? I will make this our perfect first date," smiling warmly.

Clarke couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the girl's words, "It doesn't have to be perfect. Just as long as I'm with you. It's already perfect," grinning at the brunette, whom started blushing like a little girl again.

"Oh god... too much cheesiness going on here," Raven waved off sarcastically, both girls shot her a look.

"And yes, I would love to go out with you," Clarke happily replied back, tipping her feet up giving the brunette a bear hug. Lexa grinned widely and embraced the love of her life as tightly as she can. She can't believe after 4 years that she finally have everyone's support and finally being together with Clarke. At first she was just dreaming. Dreaming that hopefully the girl would love her back, that she'll stop feeling the one-sidedness of loving the girl. But here she was as happy as she can be, finally going on their official first date as a couple. Nothing gets better than this.

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"Octavia! Can I go now? Clarke's waiting for me!"

Lexa yanked her shirt down and brushed it smoothly getting rid of the creases and small fibres.

"Wait up. Geez!" Octavia hollered rolling her eyes when she caught Lexa glaring at her, "You do know that I'm doing this for the both of you?"

"Alright! Yes! And thank you very much we owe you one!"

The tall brunette said exasperatedly as she pushed the tiny girl towards the Heda's front door. When the two girls reached the Blake's car they quickly fastened their seat belt and almost immediately Lexa ended up groaning again in agony.

"OH MY GOD, OCTAVIA! The side mirrors are perfectly fine! They're on the right angle," flinging her hands in the air as she watched Octavia adjusting it. Octavia shot her a look but Lexa didn't even flinched a bit. "I don't know why I'm getting a chaperon. God, she's my best friend it's not like she'll do anything to me!"

Octavia gave her a smug look wiggling her eyebrows in enjoyment, "EIW! Stop that, O!... She wouldn't do that..." looking out of the window at the perfect timing for her blush to creep up on her cheeks. Feeling flustered by the wayward memories that suddenly bombarded Lexa's head, she cleared her throat and asked huskily, "So... Do you think it's a perfect plan?" eyeing the driver carefully still feeling worried, "Will she like it?"

Octavia sighed, "For the last 14th time, Heda! Yes! Clarke will love it. You know her and all her sappy romantic getaways. She'll fall head over heels." she beamed at her, making Lexa feel more confident that that will be their night. Clarke and Lexa going out on their very first date. First Official Date. I can't believe this is happening. I'm going on a date with Clarke Griffin! *sigh* This is unbelievable.

Once they've arrived at the Italian restaurant that Lexa booked for the night, Clarke have not arrived yet; they arrived at least 15 minutes early and Lexa was glad because she needed time to freshen up and calm her nerves.

"Will you relax! You're always so intense," Octavia sneered at the pacing girl with a hand on her forehead. "Lexa, listen to me. Clarke's gonna love it... Now go inside there and take a seat. I'm gonna be out here waiting for her. Capish?" Pushing the her inside the entrance.

"Make sure you remember everything, okay?"

"Okaayy...Don't worry, Commander." Winking her eyes

One last nod she entered the posh restaurant and the hostess greeted her with professionalism.

"Ms. Heda! We've been waiting for you. Everything is prepared and ready."

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Clarke!"

"O!"

"Finally! You're here!"

"Yeah. I'm nervous..."

Clarke wrung her fingers together looking at the restaurant behind Octavia. O gave her a look and cleared her throat.

"Dear Princess...," Octavia rolled out an ancient scroll and started reading.

"O, what are you-..."

The small girl brought out a finger against her lips and shushed her and continued.

"The day I met you... Was a whirlwind of emotions. I was confused and yet, intrigued by you. You're blue eyes sparkles in the night sky.... "

Clarke just watched dumbly at how Octavia recited the words just like how she could imagine Lexa would be. A smile broke her lips and soon a grin.

"You're like a breath of fresh air. You're like a star in the night sky that shines with glee..."

Octavia pulled Clarke inside the awaited opened door still reading the scroll. Soon, Raven suddenly emerged behind them with the video camera focused on her. She blushed like a little school girl.

Seriously? This is too much.

A kind hostess guided her along a darkened path way away from the normal tables and crowds. They reached a dimly lit well furnished corridor and at the far end was a spiraled metal staircase. The hostess stopped at the beginning of the narrow hallway and gestured for her to go on. Octavia was still behind her reading.

"I never forget how our eyes met. How my dark shadow slowly faded away. How as I walk through this unfamiliar hallway, I was scared. I was frightened of how things would turn out to be...."

Raven scooted beside her and focused the camera in front of her. She waved her hand over, so she began to walk. Wondering and wishing when will Lexa finally emerged.

Where's Lexa? This is so embarrassing. Do they really have to tape it?

As Clarke carefully stepped onto the carpeted floor on her five-inch heels, she busily smoothen her green silk dress that falls perfectly on her curvy structure. She had been wishing to wear that dress ever since she laid eyes on it. Imagining how it reminded her of Lexa's eyes. Imagining how will the brunette react on her outfit for that particular night. Their first official first date. She started to feel crazy jitters again.

"But as I open the door..."

Raven slowly walked backwards up the stairs still with her focus on the blonde, she fiddled with the doorknob when she hit the door by the landing - with her back. Giving it a twist, the engineer gave a huge grin when Clarke's face was unimaginable. The genuine reaction was priceless and she have it on tape. Shaking her head at how sappy this entire clip was going to be, she exited out of the door with Clarke stumbling out after her.

"I see a light so bright. It made me feel hope and courage that you..."

Lexa emerged behind Clarke and softly touched her waist to face her. Clarke realized that Octavia had disappeared but the talking was still happening... Lexa was saying the words.

"... that you, Clarke Griffin. Gave it to me. I want you... For the rest of my life. I know that it may be too rush to say but I just knew it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Clarke and nobody else."

"Lexa..."

Lexa smiled softly and caressed Clarke's cheek tinted with blush. Those blues finally met the greens. Their silent communication was doing the job for them as their foreheads rest on each other. As their noses softly brushed against each other. With eyes shut, a music came out of nowhere and Clarke smiled. She smiled because it was the music that Lexa and her shared when they were for the first time stuck inside the elevator. She remembered that day so vividly. And with a slight glimpsed on the brunette's wide smile, she knew that Lexa remembered it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thud! Thud!

"Hello! Anyone out there?!"

Lexa gritted her teeth in great frustration. They had been stuck there for almost half an hour and don't know for how long more. Clarke pulled the girl's long sleeves down and said,

"Relax, Lexa. The help is on its way."

"On its way? Are you even listening to yourself, Griffin? We've been here for 30 minutes and the emergency button is not working. There's no phone reception! And it's as hot as hell in here! How am I supposed to relax?"

Her green eyes were tormentingly glaring at Clarke's laid back position on the floor. She knew she was right. But panicking and being frustrated over it won't be any help at all. If both them were to panic together nothing is gonna happen to them.

"I know that, Heda. I'm not that dumb. But you being all panicky and frustrated won't help either. It's like you kept pressing the elevator button over and over again thinking it would move faster... But it won't and never will."

Lexa gasped, "How dare you use that analogy to me?! It's called a sense of--...," Seeing that Lexa was lost for words. Clarke's smile grew even more wider. The brunette puffed, "You could be so inconsiderate sometimes!" Folding her arms still staring at the blonde.

"Me? Inconsiderate?" Clarke finally stood up and faced Lexa with a squared shoulder. "When was I ever? To be honest Lexa all this time I've been nothing but considerate to you. Despite everything that Raven, O or Anya kept telling me to just give you up because you will never bring yourself out. I didn't back down because I knew you're worth it."

Clarke was inches away from Lexa. Lexa was leaning against the sliding door for her dear life, with palpitating chest that was about to jump out of her body.

"Back away, Clarke." She hissed between her teeth.

Clarke raised her both hands in defense and took a step back.

"Whatever." And slumped back down on the carpeted floor of Raven's apartment elevator.

The silence was growing and Lexa was starting to feel at ease.

Slightly. Mind you.

She kept checking her watch and it was already an hour had passed and still no help. She buried her face against her propped up knees and sighed desperately.

"I wanna hold the hand inside you  
I wanna take the breath that's true  
I look to you and I see nothing  
I look to you to see the truth..."

Lexa looked up and frowned at the sudden music playing in the speaker. Clarke snickered and hearing this the brunette turned to her gave her a look.

"You live your life, you go in shadows  
You'll come apart and you'll go black  
Some kind of light into your darkness  
Colors your eyes with what's not there..."

She watched Clarke stood up with a smile and hold out her hand.

"What?" Lexa asked feeling confused.

"That's my prom song. I remembered wanting to dance to it but I got a brace on my leg - thanks to my awesome balance skills," she winked. Lexa snorted louder unexpectedly making Clarke turned crimson red.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lexa placed her hand over Clarke's and smiled. In one swift move they found each others hands on its familiar places and slowly glided in coordination. Thanks to Lexa's impeccable guidance, Clarke thought.

"Fade into you  
Strange you never knew  
Fade into you  
I think it's strange you never knew..."

"I love this song."

Lexa hummed and nestled against Clarke's neck.

"I know."

"The strange light comes on slowly  
A stranger's heart is out of home..."

"Lexa?"  
"You put your hands into your head  
And your smiles cover your heart..."

"Clarke?"

Clarke smiled softly pulling the girl closer.

Lexa smiled - knowing Clarke's is smiling - as she let herself being pulled in.

"Fade into you  
Strange you never knew  
Fade into you  
I think it's strange you never knew..."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The music stopped and both girl parted still having each other's hands on each other's waist and shoulders. Clarke tip-toed and peck Lexa on the cheek which the girl eagerly accepted.

"Thank you, Lexa."

"You're always welcome, Clarke."

Lexa took the girl's hand and directed her few feet away. Clarke still couldn't believe her eyes. They were at the rooftop of the finest restaurant in town, alone. Paper lanterns were cascading across the place giving it a faint and romantic glow and in the centre was a table and two chairs nicely and neatly arranged with candles and... food, Clarke thought. Her eyes lit up by the sight of it.

Lexa snickered, "I know you're hungry, Clarke. Come on. Let's eat."

Clarke gave her a look and took her place and waited for Lexa to settled down. She lifted the lid off her plate and grinned by the sight. A huge melting cheese burger and caesar salad on the side. And a glass of ice lemon tea. She was stunned, she watched Lexa lifted hers and astounded to find a cheese burger and a cheese fries and the same drink. She gave Lexa a confused face.

They were in a fine dine restaurant but their food is an actual fast food. Not that Clarke was complaining, she really can't handle posh food especially when she's bombarded by it by her mother and their corporate galas and parties. Lexa grinned and explained,

"It's In N Out burgers."

"I know that." Rolling her eyes.

Lexa rolled back and continued, "I actually just booked the rooftop. I know you're not into fancy food and stuff. So I got us a burger."

"It's perfect."

Clarke grinned and took a one sloppy bite from it. Lexa followed suit and soon they were laughing and throwing their hands in the air and stomach. It was like the scene when they spent hours and hours at the cafe talking none sensical things and just enjoying each others company.

"Thank you for the food, Lex. I love it."

"I know."

Clarke nodded and dabbed her lips with the napkin and stood up. She leaned forward the wall and looked at the scenic view of the tall buildings and sky scrapes great distance away from the suburb. The main city of Polis was a always filled of buzz and life and it never seemed to die down. It fascinates her how it would be like living in the city, where life is always hectic and fast paced. People were always scrambling to get to places where they ought to be. And as if by chance, Lexa could read her mind.

"One day, we will live in the city. Experience it as it unfolds its secrets to us."

Clarke grinned back, taking her girlfriends hands to hers, "Always the poetic one."

"You love it." half-shrugging.

"Yeah, I do."

Lexa stood behind Clarke and leaned against her enveloping her with her arms. Shielding her from the strong gush of cold breeze as it hits their connected bodies.

"I love you, Lex."

"I love you too, Clarke."

"Hmmm...," taking a deep breath - closing her eyes, "best first date ever. Thank you for tonight again."

Lexa kissed Clarke's head and said, "The night is still young, Clarke. Follow me." Pulling the blonde's hand. Lexa led her to the other side of the rooftop and there laid a comfy wide blanket with throw pillows and duvets. She smiled because she knew what they're going to do. She took Lexa's hands but stopped abruptly, her eyes sunk at the sight that it just feasted on. Lexa squirmed under the scrutinization. Bright pink shade hits her cheeks.

"You looked stunningly beautiful, Lexa."

Twirling her around. Lexa's skirt came soaring in the air. The brunette was wearing a deep blue romper that slid down on her slender body. Clarke's eyes devoured the deep V neckline at the back - showcasing the brunette's perfectly tanned bare back. The blonde bit her lips and then heard Lexa giggled pulling her lower lips free from her teeth's grasp.

"Better wipe away that drool off your mouth, Clarke. You just ate." Giving her a smug and a wink.

Clarke shook her head and giggled along with her.

"Talk about drooling," Lexa slid her hand from the girl's shoulder down to her curvy side, never leaving those blue eyes that were staring back at her with the same hunger and lust. "You look not so bad yourself, Princess." She drew closer to her right ear and whispered, "Sexy."

"Lexa. Behave." Clarke mumbled back lowly.

"I couldn't even if I try." Hinting another wink before she came pulling the blonde into the makeshift comforter before anything else were to happen. She have to finish the night as perfect as it can get.

They laid down and get comfortable with each others arms and then drape the duvet over their legs. Thankfully, the paper lanterns didn't extended to other part of the rooftop because the sky is clearly visible in the darkness with countless stars glowing and shining above them.

"This is the reason why I brought you to the rooftop."

"Stargazing. Perfect."

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lexa sighed and whispered, "Thank you, Clarke for existing. I don't know where or what would I be if I hadn't met you."

Clarke met her gaze, "You would still be Lexa Heda. Except now you're the most awesomest version of Lexa Heda. You know why?"

She shook her head.

"Because you let yourself grow. You learned to trust. You learned to love. To accept. Most especially, with the people around you. And you know what's the best part? You created a better version of you. Don't thank me, Lexa. Thank yourself for opening up and see how the world should see you. You changed yourself, not other way around. You should be proud of yourself. Because I'm grateful to meet the most wonderful and beautiful person as you are. I should be thanking you for accepting me to your world. I'm so proud of you, Alexandria Heda."

She couldn't contain herself that she broke into a sappy grin as she watched Clarke poured her with heart melting words that nobody had ever uttered to her before. That's what she loves about her. She loves it how special she feels with every word Clarke says. The way she describes her. The way she let those words flow out of her lips making it echo and resounds the air. Lexa couldn't help but listen and feel swelled with joy. It was uplifting and rejuvenating.

Lexa hugged Clarke and laid on her chest, listening to every heart beat. Heart beats that beats for her. The heart that belongs to her. How lucky was she. That despite all the ups and downs that they had gone through. Despite the times that she had chased her away. They always and still ended up into each others arms. Fate? Maybe. Destiny? Maybe, that too. That's just how she wanted to leave it as that. Let it linger until it curls itself up and be found by the next passers by that will start their new beginnings. It was like paying forward. Telling each other their stories that will be passed down from one to another.

"I will love you, Clarke."

Clarke looked down on Lexa smiled. She pecked her forehead as Lexa looked up to her with admiration.

"I will love you too, Lexa... As long as it takes."


End file.
